Does this ever happen to you?

[montblanc]

I am a little chagrined, here is why:

In August the parent (I’ll call her "Beth") of a child who is my daughter's best friend announced (simultaneously) to both kids that they were coming with us to WDW next summer. The kids were very excited and I was extremely happy my daughter would have someone her age to go with. I quickly gathered together material on hotels, cost savings tips, photographs, etc. and gave them to Beth.

A few days ago I made my hotel reservations. I casually mentioned this during a dinner when the kids slipped away for a minute (we are both quasi-single parents) with Beth to see how her plans were coming along. The reply floored me..."Oh I forgot all about that, I have made other plans, maybe in 2006, ok?". Then oddly enough after I inquired about these plans (diplomatically) I found out she couldn't possibly get them done in 2005, and she realized it too but said nothing about WDW. I don’t want to have any false hopes at this point so I’ll just cross my fingers for the 5% chance.

My daughter was extremely disappointed, Beth's kid seemed not to care and wasn't even surprised, indicating perhaps that this is not unusual.

I just don’t understand why a person would make a commitment in front of children and then so casually dismiss it without even so much as an apology. Beth said she wanted to do something for her daughter (who has never had a vacation and is almost 10 years old). I know money isn’t a problem as I see a lot of discretionary spending. So far I haven’t said anything as I don’t want to jeopardize the friendship between the two kids and I guess I’ll leave it that way…sigh

 

[laceemouse]

No, I have never had a similar situation, but it is very sad for the kids. I think your daughter is old enough that you can just explain to her that other people have different priorities, and do things differently, than you do. My kids are 7, 9, 11, and 13 and we speak often about matters like this. For instance, my DD11 has a best friend who has EVERYTHING, CDs, guitars, a t.v. and computer in her room, the latest toys, clothes, and everything else. Yet they say they do not have money for vacation. We vacation 2 or 3 times a year, but don't have all that other stuff. (I don't want them to have t.v.s and computers in their rooms anyway.) But we often talk about choices. Unless you are Bill Gates, most people can not afford it all. We all must decide what we feel is important, and others don't always agree with us. I feel sorry for her daughter but it sounds like she is used to it. Just try to make it a great trip for your child. Lacee

 

[NotUrsula]

I have family members who do this to DS constantly. We see them at Christmas and they always want to look at our travel pictures, and they always start talking about family trips together. (These are people who refuse to decide where they are eating Christmas dinner until after Midnight Mass on Xmas Eve.) DS gets all excited and plans for months about what he wants to show his cousins, no matter how carefully we try to tell him that they won't be coming, to WDW or even to our house.

I've totally given up on the prospect of EVER seeing them anywhere other than their homes; they ALWAYS lose interest in going. Once I even bought their airline tickets, only to have that sister call the night before we were due to leave to tell me they had decided that they "didn't feel like going." That little stunt cost us $600 in lost airfares and hotel cancellation fees. (We were giving them the airfare and hotel rooms as a gift, you understand.) When I reminded her that the tickets were nonrefundable, she said, "Well, we didn't ask for the time off work, so it's too late now for us to decide to go after all. Can't you get the money back?" She was told before I bought them that they were nonrefundable, but she backed out anyway.

Sometimes I wonder while I still bother to speak to my siblings.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Kind of along these same lines. We are planning an early family Christmas at Disneyland. My mother is 70 and has cancer and my stepdad will be turning 80 shortly before our visit. Anway my brother and I decided we needed to do this trip. I am so happy but sad knowing this may very well be the last trip I take with my mom. Anyway, we have been to DL many times but Brother and sister in law have not been in 30 or more years. I keep encouraging them to plan to no avail. My husband made our nieces a video highlight of some of our trips. Thought this would give them all an idea about how big the characters are etc. They have never watched it. I got them the planning video from the Disneyland website. Haven't watched that either. They just finally made their hotel reservations and are paying way more than me because they did it one month out. They just seem completely unenthused. My kids are hurt because they helped me make photo albums for their cousins that were just mostly overlooked. I am wondering if my DH and I, who are self admitted Disney addicts are going to be able to hack this or not. I think that travelling with friends and relatives can be a blessing but can also be a recipe for hurt feelings and frustration. Wish me luck fellow disboarders!

 

[BevS97]

we just got back frmo a trip with 2 other families - it worked out really well, but we are all disney nuts, we all now how disney 'works' and we arranged to all stay in different hotels and meet up at various times during our trip. As it happens we spent quite a lot of time together, but if any family was feeling the need for a break, then they just said so and headed off to do something else and it wasn't a problem. I wouldn't hesitate to vacaction with these people again - but family, who know nothing about Disney, or anyone who thinks we are going to be together 24/7 - no thank you.

 

[riopooh]

My brother did this for our family reunion - My mom (72) is recovering from surgery for lung cancer & melanoma and my Dad is 75 w/ heart and mobility problems. They haven't taken a vacation in years. In fact, my mom was so overwhelmed by her situation, that over the summer she told me to cancel all our plans, she just wasn't up to it. (My dad pulled me aside later and told me to keep everything! - We figured we'll tell her after Christmas!) But my brother hemmed and hawed - and finally pulled out (of course after I already arranged to rent 470 DVC pts from various peolpe on these boards!)

It was a mixed blessing - he and his family would have driven me crazy on the trip. My son was disappointed but now he just feels sorry for his cousins.

I thought my dad would be upset too, but he wasn't surprised - again just saddened.

 

[Simba's Girl]

This happened to BIL (36) when he was a kid all the time! Very disappointing...In October he will be making his first trip to WDW

I think he'll have a blast!

I'm calling for ressies today.....I can't wait to tell them its official....

Heather

 

[beautybelle]

I have had a similar thing happen to me. My husbands cousin and his wife has a little girl whom our family just loves. Anyway, we invited her to go with us to WDW in May 2005 and a couple of days later they called me and agreed to let her go. Everyone told the little girl and she was soooooo excited and my son was happy that she was going to get to go. Well we bought our airplane tickets and bought hers as well, next thing ya know, the dad is being sent to jail and the mom is on house arrest. And although she can use the phone she wont talk to me. I have sent messages to her that I need to talk to her about the trip she wont return my calls. I hate to say it but I've got a feeling that the little girl isnt gonna get to go, after getting all excited. I think that is just horrible. I hate that for her because she is so sweet and doesnt deserve this.

 

[crisi]

beautybelle,

Can you call county social services and explain your concerns? My guess is that the little girl already has a social worker (given the circumstances) and the social worker would love to hear from involved family - even if it doesn't involve a trip to Disney World - just to know that the girl has responsible relatives that would be willing to spend time with her.