Does this annoy you? How do you react?

[CEDmom]

I can understand where you're coming from but honestly I think most women battle with weight issues whether they're 120lbs or 220lbs. I'm not large but I'm not where I want to be either. 10lbs would put me back into all my clothes with room to spare. Most of the time I just do the best I can with eating and exercising but sometimes it really bothers me and I get down on myself. Now, I have several friends who are large and I wouldn't say anything in front of them unless they pushed me about why I wasn't having a piece of cake or something like that.

 

[Robinrs]

Don't take it personally, most women are over obsessed with their weight and are only concerned about themselves and not you at all.

When I lost my son years ago I thought every person who complained about or mentioned their children were taunting ME.... It was all about me, you understand.

Now that I have a son I NEVER think I'm doing that to a woman and I just might be... I work with plenty of childless women and not once did I think that I might be hurting one... just as the ones who spoke about theirs when I was lonely had no clue.

Hang in there. And like I tell my son everyday, don't let another person decide how you are going to feel about yourself.

 

[Spoodleink]

I totally get what you are saying its not thinner people saying I'd like to lose 5 pounds Its when someone is size 6 a talking to someone who is a size 22 going on and on about how fat and gross they are.

A friend at work is about a size 6 and wanted to lose about 5-10 pounds to get her wedding dress to fit better but she just said that when we were looking at some pictures from her dress shopping and when we would have cake and snacks she would just say no I am trying to lose for the wedding. She never went on about being fat.

There is an other woman who is TINY and is always like oh I am so fat and need to lose so much weight ect ect. while she is talking to me and other girls who are size 16 and up. When we have cake and snacks she goes on about how fat she is and shouldnt be eating this because she needs to lose weight. I am sure she does it for attention and compliments because that is what she gets everytime she does it. I also think some people to it because they think it will "encourage" the bigger person to lose weight.

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

As a high school student, I hear girls complaining about their weight ALL THE TIME! It drives me absolutly insane! As for my reaction, I say 'yup, you're right, you are' and walk away, regardless of how fat or thin they may be. I'm tired of hearing it. Don't fish for compliments around me 'cuz you're just not going to get them.

 

[Tinijocaro]

I'm a thin person who grew up with and loved an obese mother. She has since died of complications from her obesity. I would never tell an overweight person I need to lose weight, however, my next door neighbor is a good friend and is close to obese. I joined a gym recently, not to lose weight, but to tone and build a bit of muscle. Also to get my heart healthy. Ever since I turned 40, any muscle I had has turned to gel. I have no problem saying those things to an overweight person if we are friends and just talking about stuff.

Yes, we should all be able to talk about how we'd love to lose 5 pounds, but to say that to an overweight person is just not very kind, and very egocentric. Of course the overweight person is going to feel bad, or look badly upon you for having so little regard for their feelings. I saw my mother struggle for years to lose her weight, she never was able to and I miss her terribly. I agree with another poster who said that overweight people know everything there is to now about nutrition and losing weight- they just can't apply it to themselves.

 

[#1MMFan]

Tell me this has happened to you.

I'm very overweight, and it drives me nuts when I'm around someone (friend, family, coworker, etc) who will go on a rant right in front of me going on and on and on about how FAT they are, when they're maybe half my size. I always wonder, do they really believe they're fat, or are they being passive aggressive towards my weight? I could never imagine complaining about my weight in front of someone who was fatter than me. Do people think? It often makes me very uncomfortable.

Or what about in terms of age... someone half your age complains that they're getting old. Huh?

Do you ever encounter this? How do you react?

I don't think they're being passive/aggressive. I think they are just being thoughtless at best, and perhaps rude depending on how extreme they go on about it. The age thing, I think is less of an issue... it can be construed as a joke. Weight, less so!!!!!

 

[sleepyone]

It's happened to me before. I'm overweight. What really iritated the heck out of me was a THIN girl on a talk show a few years ago saying how concerned she was that she was too thin. If that was her problem, SHE SHOULD EAT!!! I'm sorry, but I don't have pity for people like that.

I must have a fast metabolism or something because no matter how much I ate when younger, I couldn't gain weight. I was always 98 pounds. Nursing my babies would literally suck the fat right back off me and I'd be back to where I started. It took three pregnancies for me to maintain my current 117 pounds...and that was because I gained 50 pounds my last pregnancy on purpose (it was easier during pregnancy for some reason).

Saying someone should eat to gain weight sounds simple; just like it sounds simple to think someone should eat less to weigh less. I think metabolism plays a part in it because I'm definately NOT an active person. My biggest exercise is cleaning my house.

I got so sick of hearing, "You're so skinny" all the time. I didn't go around saying, "You're so fat" to people. To me the word "skinny" has a bad connotation just as the word "fat" does.

I just think it's polite not to refer to weight unless you're speaking to a close friend or family member when both agree neither will get hurt feelings.

 

[sleepyone]

Don't take it personally, most women are over obsessed with their weight and are only concerned about themselves and not you at all.

When I lost my son years ago I thought every person who complained about or mentioned their children were taunting ME.... It was all about me, you understand.

Now that I have a son I NEVER think I'm doing that to a woman and I just might be... I work with plenty of childless women and not once did I think that I might be hurting one... just as the ones who spoke about theirs when I was lonely had no clue.

Hang in there. And like I tell my son everyday, don't let another person decide how you are going to feel about yourself.

Yes, I totally agree.

 

[MushyMushy]

I totally get what you are saying its not thinner people saying I'd like to lose 5 pounds Its when someone is size 6 a talking to someone who is a size 22 going on and on about how fat and gross they are.

Exactly!

I don't mind talking with a thinner person about weight or hearing about their struggles. Whether it's 10 pounds or 100 pounds, it's still a struggle to lose weight. What gets me is when someone goes on and on, calling herself a cow or a fatty, making a big thing of it. If she thinks HER body is so repulsive, then what am I sitting there? You might as well be telling me I'm a whale.

I just think it's insensitive.

 

[GeorgeG]

It's been proven time after time that most people simply do not think beyond themselves.

Several years back we had an apartment fire in the town I was a volunteer fireman in for forty one years. The aprtments were up an embankment and it was snowing hard with a foot on the ground already. I couldn't get the ladder truck more than half way up the driveway and a young fireman in his early to mid twenties came over and sat on the running board and declared he was getting too old for this sort of thing. I looked around at a dozen or so grandfathers who were still going strong and just shook my head.

Then there was a younger sister-in-law who decided she needed liposuction. She was in good shape with barely an inch to pinch, but she was convinced she was fat. After spending thousands on the procedure for her tummy and thighs, she pigged out and put a pound or two back on and started whining about needing more lipo. My comment was that she certainly did because they sucked the fat out of the wrong body parts and missed between the ears. She's finally talking to me again so I have to come up with a new insult...

 

[Hixski]

Exactly!

I don't mind talking with a thinner person about weight or hearing about their struggles. Whether it's 10 pounds or 100 pounds, it's still a struggle to lose weight. What gets me is when someone goes on and on, calling herself a cow or a fatty, making a big thing of it. If she thinks HER body is so repulsive, then what am I sitting there? You might as well be telling me I'm a whale.

I just think it's insensitive.

Exactly. If someone needs to lose 5 lbs and goes on and on it makes me cringe. I have thyroid problems and need to lose 50 lbs. Being over 40 and premenopausal doesn't help either. It makes you feel like you should be ordering your clothes from Omar the tent maker.

 

[MushyMushy]

It's been proven time after time that most people simply do not think beyond themselves.

Several years back we had an apartment fire in the town I was a volunteer fireman in for forty one years. The aprtments were up an embankment and it was snowing hard with a foot on the ground already. I couldn't get the ladder truck more than half way up the driveway and a young fireman in his early to mid twenties came over and sat on the running board and declared he was getting too old for this sort of thing. I looked around at a dozen or so grandfathers who were still going strong and just shook my head.

Then there was a younger sister-in-law who decided she needed liposuction. She was in good shape with barely an inch to pinch, but she was convinced she was fat. After spending thousands on the procedure for her tummy and thighs, she pigged out and put a pound or two back on and started whining about needing more lipo. My comment was that she certainly did because they sucked the fat out of the wrong body parts and missed between the ears. She's finally talking to me again so I have to come up with a new insult...

OMG, that has me

 

[Sherri]

Tell me this has happened to you.

I'm very overweight, and it drives me nuts when I'm around someone (friend, family, coworker, etc) who will go on a rant right in front of me going on and on and on about how FAT they are, when they're maybe half my size. I always wonder, do they really believe they're fat, or are they being passive aggressive towards my weight? I could never imagine complaining about my weight in front of someone who was fatter than me. Do people think? It often makes me very uncomfortable.

Or what about in terms of age... someone half your age complains that they're getting old. Huh?

Do you ever encounter this? How do you react?

I think that is rude and in poor taste.

 

[MushyMushy]

I think that is rude and in poor taste.

I agree, and I just wanted to see what other people's opinions were on it.

There's one woman who does it quite frequently. She has a very badly pockmarked face and it's always on the tip of my tongue to counter her fat comments with skin comments when I get a pimple or two.

I'd never really do that, but it's the same thing to me.

 

[JESW]

Oh yeah...

You should have heard the fuss we made at our local Curves when they were doing their "Get Rid of Your Fat Pants" promotion and the owner put up a pair of size 14 pants as someone's "fat pants".

Well, maybe that size IS a big size for many people, but for most of us exercising, size 14 (and lower) pants are our goal!

And I HATE that commercial with that lady whining about being a size 8 or something! Cripes, I haven't been a size 8 since I was about 8 years old!

Jill

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh yeah...

You should have heard the fuss we made at our local Curves when they were doing their "Get Rid of Your Fat Pants" promotion and the owner put up a pair of size 14 pants as someone's "fat pants".

Well, maybe that size IS a big size for many people, but for most of us exercising, size 14 (and lower) pants are our goal!

And I HATE that commercial with that lady whining about being a size 8 or something! Cripes, I haven't been a size 8 since I was about 8 years old!

Jill

Yikes! That reminds me of something back when I was a size 12 (many many many years ago ). This one woman was making fun of another woman who was rather obese, and she said, "Gawd, she must wear a size 12 or something!" ACK! Oh, the horror!

 

[Cindyluwho]

When I get together with my friends we like to vent. We come in all sizes and shapes and as women it's just something we do. I never see men doing this, but I see women doing it all the time. I would never think less of any friend because she said any of the things that have been mentioned. There are times in all our lives (especially women) when we feel too fat, too thin, wish we had straight hair, wish we had curly hair, clearer skin, bigger tatas-you name it. What I'm gathering from this thread is that unless you're the biggest, have the most zits, have the widest butt-you're NOT allowed to vent about it in front of someone who may be bigger, zittier, etc. So, it's OK for you to vent about your weight, but not for anyone who's smaller than you? Think about this ladies (and men) we're all in this together. Most of us have body image problems. Let's support each other when we're having feelings of inadequacy instead of fuming that we're not as bad as you. I would support someone large who is feeling fat and I would support someone a size 6 whose waistband is tighter than it was 2 months ago. We all have our feelings and they're all valid.

 

[U2_rocks!]

When I get together with my friends we like to vent. We come in all sizes and shapes and as women it's just something we do. I never see men doing this, but I see women doing it all the time. I would never think less of any friend because she said any of the things that have been mentioned. There are times in all our lives (especially women) when we feel too fat, too thin, wish we had straight hair, wish we had curly hair, clearer skin, bigger tatas-you name it. What I'm gathering from this thread is that unless you're the biggest, have the most zits, have the widest butt-you're NOT allowed to vent about it in front of someone who may be bigger, zittier, etc. So, it's OK for you to vent about your weight, but not for anyone who's smaller than you? Think about this ladies (and men) we're all in this together. Most of us have body image problems. Let's support each other when we're having feelings of inadequacy instead of fuming that we're not as bad as you. I would support someone large who is feeling fat and I would support someone a size 6 whose waistband is tighter than it was 2 months ago. We all have our feelings and they're all valid.

Absolutely agree.

 

[MushyMushy]

When I get together with my friends we like to vent. We come in all sizes and shapes and as women it's just something we do. I never see men doing this, but I see women doing it all the time. I would never think less of any friend because she said any of the things that have been mentioned. There are times in all our lives (especially women) when we feel too fat, too thin, wish we had straight hair, wish we had curly hair, clearer skin, bigger tatas-you name it. What I'm gathering from this thread is that unless you're the biggest, have the most zits, have the widest butt-you're NOT allowed to vent about it in front of someone who may be bigger, zittier, etc. So, it's OK for you to vent about your weight, but not for anyone who's smaller than you? Think about this ladies (and men) we're all in this together. Most of us have body image problems. Let's support each other when we're having feelings of inadequacy instead of fuming that we're not as bad as you. I would support someone large who is feeling fat and I would support someone a size 6 whose waistband is tighter than it was 2 months ago. We all have our feelings and they're all valid.

But aren't my feelings valid when it hurts mine?

I'm not talking about a little venting among friends. My friends and I do that constantly, and our weight ranges from 120 on up to I'm-not-saying. But my 120 pound friend isn't going to sit there and say what a cow/whale/insert insulting term of your choice to friends that weigh more than her. What does that say about us if she thinks so horribly about her own weight? Someone having a bad complexion wouldn't prevent me from complaining about my own better complexion, but you can bet I'm not going to say, "I'm so hideous with this zit!" to a person with pockmarks. That would be the same as saying she's hideous.

It's just plain common sense.

 

[Cindyluwho]

What does that say about us if she thinks so horribly about her own weight?

It says she is uncomfortable with HER weight, no more - no less. It is NOT about you, it is about her insecurities about her body. You have them, I have them, almost every woman in America has them. It is not always about you. Granted, when you feel uncomfortable about yourself it's hard to imagine that everyone isn't thinking how fat, pimply, flat-chested, etc that you are, but really we're just all thinking it about ourselves. And it's only fair that if you get to feel that way, then so does everyone else. I can't believe you think someone is a b-word just because they are insecure and are talking about their feelings of self image. It's really hurtful.