Does this annoy you? How do you react?

[MushyMushy]

Tell me this has happened to you.

I'm very overweight, and it drives me nuts when I'm around someone (friend, family, coworker, etc) who will go on a rant right in front of me going on and on and on about how FAT they are, when they're maybe half my size. I always wonder, do they really believe they're fat, or are they being passive aggressive towards my weight? I could never imagine complaining about my weight in front of someone who was fatter than me. Do people think? It often makes me very uncomfortable.

Or what about in terms of age... someone half your age complains that they're getting old. Huh?

Do you ever encounter this? How do you react?

 

[Disneyland1084]

It's happened to me before. I'm overweight. What really iritated the heck out of me was a THIN girl on a talk show a few years ago saying how concerned she was that she was too thin. If that was her problem, SHE SHOULD EAT!!! I'm sorry, but I don't have pity for people like that.

 

[grinningghost]

I can kind of relate. I hate when someone with perfect skin gets ONE TINY zit on their face and they FREAK OUT! I've been dealing with major acne issues for years - I don't wanna hear it.

 

[disney junky]

I wouldn't take it personally. I have friends who are overweight, and I talk about my weight and weight loss in front of them simply because I don't see them as overweight...I see them as my friends.

 

[ntburns22]

Tell me this has happened to you.

I'm very overweight, and it drives me nuts when I'm around someone (friend, family, coworker, etc) who will go on a rant right in front of me going on and on and on about how FAT they are, when they're maybe half my size. I always wonder, do they really believe they're fat, or are they being passive aggressive towards my weight? I could never imagine complaining about my weight in front of someone who was fatter than me. Do people think? It often makes me very uncomfortable.

Or what about in terms of age... someone half your age complains that they're getting old. Huh?

Do you ever encounter this? How do you react?

OMG I could have written the same post about my mom. She is a 10-12 I am a 22. It drives me crazy. When she does this over the phone my cell loses reception.

 

[dementia412]

My take has always been that if a thin person thinks they are fat then they must think I'm a friggin cow. Having someone basically call me a cow is pretty offensive. I think most people who say that stuff aretrying to get a response like "oh, you are so thin, you don't need to lose a pound"... I will not give those answers. I tell them they are right... "boy those pants are looking a bit tight!"

What I find worse are people who give me unsolicited advice on how to lose weight, or the medical problems I could face.... by the way those health problems are very minor despite all the hoopla. I've found fat people tend to know more about how to lose weight than thin people... we just don't apply it! Like Alice said, "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

 

[MushyMushy]

This might not be a good analogy, but it would be like me complaining about a cold to a friend who has cancer. That's kind of the way it makes me feel anyway.

 

[mssocks]

I hate it too. I just ignore the topic or change it.

Interesting though - I asked my therapist about me worrying that everyone is mad at me about something - why do I always think it's about me? Am I that self-centered? He said it has to do with your opinion about yourself. The session ended then, so I'm projecting here................these people have no inkling about how we may be feeling and are just thinking about how THEY feel??

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I'm a big girl also and one of our friends has a gorgeous body-she had 2 kids lost what weight she had gained and didn't get one stretch mark

Well she is always complaining how she's getting fat--At Thanksgiving she ate a good amount same as everyone else and then complained about her stomach being puffed out from being full---I thought to myself "Good Lord woman look at who you're complaining to"!

She was so upset about the fact that she had gained 5 pounds recently and she only weighs about 115--When I get on the scale and see that I've gained 1 pound I think "Oh well there's another one"

I don't know if they do it to try and commiserate with us thick chicks or not but sometimes I just wish they wouldn't because it makes me feel worse about how I look

 

[Michie]

I am confused Does a person have to be obese to worry about their weight to others?

 

[dmslush]

This might not be a good analogy, but it would be like me complaining about a cold to a friend who has cancer. That's kind of the way it makes me feel anyway.

You know, it makes me feel the same.

 

[teacherforhi]

Why would someone worrying about their body be an attack on you?

Just because someone is thinner than you doesn't mean that they don't think they need to lose weight.

 

[dodukes]

I have to say I have no problem saying the word fat or obese and talking about it in front of someone who is fat or obese, i mean really if it bothers you so much, then lose weight, i will not say something like you are fat or you are a cow!, i am not that rude, but honestly, i have a problem with people who say they are fat, are fat but yet continue eating like pigs, (i have 2 at work), if you are happy with who you are great for you but from what i gather here, these things strike a cord with some people then its time to lose the weight, sorry not trying to offend people, but you asked about if it bothers me or not, to me no it doesnt bother me, i have ton of people at work who are WAAAY thinner than me and barely hit the 110/115 and sometimes they are like "damn im getting fat", doesnt bother me at all and it doesnt bother the other people either.

 

[SeaSpray]

I think some people just try to be more aware of other people's feelings, and some people don't stop to think how their words might effect those listening to them.

For example: I just started working this past summer in a small department, it's just myself and another woman. Her husband left her about 2 years ago. When I first starting working with her, she talked about it a lot, she basically made it the topic of almost every conversation. lol From that point on, I purposely try not to talk about all the things that I do with my own husband; for example how we don't schedule too much on the weekends unless it's an activity that we can do together; I also try not to bring up subjects that talk about how great my DH is, and on the otherhand, I don't talk about anything negative about my DH either. It's just how I am, I don't talk about very personal things. But like I said, I PURPOSELY do not ever mention anything fun or great about my DH because I guess I don't want to remind her of her ex-DH and what a jerk he was/is.

Am I being overly sensitive on her behalf? Maybe so. But she will often make comments about weight. She's thin with very long legs. For someone in her mid-50's, she has a nice shape. Not "sexy", but just a nice athletic sort of build. Anyway, she will often say things like "I'm thin so I get cold a lot". I feel saying to her "OH, so since I'm fat I guess I never get cold??" LOL I honestly think that people just DON'T THINK how what they say will sound to someone else.

Maybe I'm just overly empathetic about others, and maybe others are just not empathetic at all.

But to the OP, yes I've had situations like you've described, and while I don't think that I'm overly sensitive to my weight I do notice comments like that from people. (I have no problem talking about weight, and in fact I just started a company-wide version of the "Biggest Loser", a weight-loss contest where we basically want to support and encourage each other. Lots of "thin" people are in the contest, and only a few of us who really need to lose weight, but we'll have fun with it ).

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I have to say I have no problem saying the word fat or obese and talking about it in front of someone who is fat or obese, i mean really if it bothers you so much, then lose weight, i will not say something like you are fat or you are a cow!, i am not that rude, but honestly, i have a problem with people who say they are fat, are fat but yet continue eating like pigs, (i have 2 at work), if you are happy with who you are great for you but from what i gather here, these things strike a cord with some people then its time to lose the weight, sorry not trying to offend people, but you asked about if it bothers me or not, to me no it doesnt bother me, i have ton of people at work who are WAAAY thinner than me and barely hit the 110/115 and sometimes they are like "damn im getting fat", doesnt bother me at all and it doesnt bother the other people either.

The bolded statement isn't always correct--I have a heart condition and unfortunately fluid retention is a side effect of it and the medication for it so hopping on a treadmill won't cure me.
I think what us famine resistant people are saying is that someone who may only need to lose a couple of pounds doesn't realize the struggle those of us who need to lose more than a pound or two go thru and when this SKB stands there and complains about 5lbs we feel that it may be their way of brokering the conversation that we are fat cows who need to be run around the pen instead of into it.

 

[izzy]

I knew someone who used to complain about her weight all the time. She was always saying "I'm so fat! I'm so fat!" (She was about 5'4" and maybe tipped the scaled at 110 pounds soaking wet.) I finally figured out she was making the comments just so people would tell her how wonderful she looked, how thin she was, how she didn't need to lose an ounce, etc. I finally got fed up with her and told her, "Yeah, you could stand to lose 10 pounds or so." Shut her right up and she never said a word about her weight in front of me again.

I don't mind if someone has a legitimate gripe about their weight, but when they're doing it just to get attention, I'm going to call them on it.

 

[winkers]

I think it's their way of getting a complement............just like the person who's house is always perfect appologizes for the "mess".....you look around can't see a problem and complement them on the fact that their house is always perfect!

 

[arminnie]

What really iritated the heck out of me was a THIN girl on a talk show a few years ago saying how concerned she was that she was too thin. If that was her problem, SHE SHOULD EAT!!! I'm sorry, but I don't have pity for people like that.

Well, you should have just as much compassion for the underweight as you expect them to have for you.

I am "dining enhanced", my favorite new phrase for fluffy, pooh sized, or non-thin, but my late mother was chronically underweight. She had to work all of her life to try to keep her weight up to 115. Nothing irritated her more than people making comments about her weight. She NEVER said one word about my weight even when I was much larger than I am now.

I've been very ill for the past six months and am beginning to understand what it is like to literally have to force a piece of bread down. Mine is the result of some medication I am on once a month, but some people are just like this naturally. Especially when I was younger I used to just wish the urge to eat would go away, but believe me it is not pleasant when nothing tastes good, and food has to be forced down.

 

[dodukes]

The bolded statement isn't always correct--I have a heart condition and unfortunately fluid retention is a side effect of it and the medication for it so hopping on a treadmill won't cure me.
I think what us famine resistant people are saying is that someone who may only need to lose a couple of pounds doesn't realize the struggle those of us who need to lose more than a pound or two go thru and when this SKB stands there and complains about 5lbs we feel that it may be their way of brokering the conversation that we are fat cows who need to be run around the pen instead of into it.

I KNOW that not all obese people are by choice, I had a friend who had medical reasons and one of my coworkers daugheter as wel, i think both were related to thyroid, but i was relating particulalry to my other two coworkers they just dont care that they fat and they jsut eat to no end, they dont have any medical problems, they just admit they like to eat. I have no problem with that but then dont come around me looking for pity or something when you tell me oh my gosh i have to lose weight. Do you understand what i mean now? Sorry if i didnt make it clear, i truly understand that there are some medical reasons at work for overweightness, i have seen them first hand!

 

[mla2177]

I get the opposite from people! I get the whole "if she's in a size 4 then she must be anorexic. I weigh 123 and am 5'6. I run at the gym everyday because I have high blood pressure. I am hardly anorexic, just trying very hard to stay healthy!

I was overweight for the first year after the birth of my son, but I worked really hard at it and lost the weight! I get more criticism for losing the weight than I ever did being overweight?