Does he deserve a Christmas present or not? Advice please!

[bookgirl]

I'd get him a small item, something he would like, cd/movie/itunes card, and a card. I would not budget more for him than that. Call me passive aggressive but if you can't manage to even get me card, then I don't feel obligated to go out and find you an expensive gift.

I do like getting people gifts so small, inexpensive, and with at least a thought to something he might like is the route I would go.

 

[RitaE]

I'm really not in favor of using Christmas as a I'm gonna teach you a lesson you rotten ingrate kind of experience.

If your Brother hurt your feelings by not acknowledging your birthday then what you need to do is sit down with him and tell him that when he didn't acknowledge your birthday it hurt your feelings.

As for the Christmas present. Give him a card or a small present and write a note in there that you love him and wish him a Happy Holiday.

 

[dcentity2000]

Give him a card.

Agreed.



Rich::

 

[C.Ann]

I would give him a tin of homemade cookies - since he's not working and all.. If he made a rude comment about it or seemed ungrateful in any way, shape, or form, next year he would get nothing..

 

[dcentity2000]

Double post - sorry!



Rich::

 

[DMRick]

Gifts are never manditory. Get him a gift if you want to give him one. If not, then don't. If it was me I would get him a small token gift from your family.

Remember that you cannot control the behavior of others but you can control how you let their behavior effect you.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

Two years ago I told my DH's younger son (age 22) that his father has birthdays, Father's Days, and Christmases, and that I felt he was old enough to start acknowledging his father on those dates. I told him that in the 11 years I'd been with his father, neither he nor his brother had ever acknowledged their father on any birthday or holiday. I told him if this continued, perhaps his DDad might forget he had a birthday. I wasn't mean about it, I was only trying to teach him a lesson that his own mother should have taught him. I told him I did not expect him to buy gifts for his father, but that I would appreciate it if he'd acknowledge his DDad with either a card or a phone card.

Guess what? It worked, and he now calls his dad and sends him cards, and sometimes buys him gifts "just because". This past Father's Day, he emailed me to let me know he didn't get his dad's Father's Day card mailed in time, but he had bought him one. He emailed his dad a picture of the front, the inside and the back of the card, and sent him a sweet email saying he was sorry he hadn't mailed the card in time. I thought it was adorable. I am so proud that he finally acknowledges his father on special occasions.

Now, if I could only get through to DH's older son!

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

I would give him a tin of homemade cookies - since he's not working and all.. If he made a rude comment about it or seemed ungrateful in any way, shape, or form, next year he would get nothing..

Great idea, C.Ann.

 

[nowellsl]

I would buy him a tie to wear to job interviews

 

[Crankyshank]

In 30yrs my brother has never gotten me a present for my birthday. For the past 2 I've gotten cards, which is a switch, but never gifts.
I still give him christmas presents and gifts. Why? Because Christmas really isn't the time to teach someone a lesson. It's kind of grinchy imho. If it bothers you so much, I would talk to him about it. Don't get him birthday presents. But don't spend a lot of time and money on the gift either - bake him cookies. Get him a token gift.