a: 1) Even when I was a size 3 I was no more confident back then than I am now, plus I was always starving. Yes, I did exercise, walked 4 miles daily, but I hardly ate, and rice cakes don't count there made out of air; 2) My low self esteem started from my sister and mother saying I was "fat" when I was in middle school. Actually the weight came off by itself, but the message was never forgotten. 3) This illness has stopped me in my tracks. I have started seeing a therapist to help me accept my condition. It will not be going away and I need to admit that to myself. I really don't like pitty parties anyway; 4)
not trying to change you post, just wanted to point out something...
i totally agree with 1 & 2..reading the others comments i have to wonder how in the world did they get such self confidence and i do wonder how much it stems from our younger years. i was alwaysvery thin when i was young ( like thin enough that if it were today people would probably assume i was anorexic or bulimic but it was just my normal body type) but i have never felt that way mostly due to family members who constantly" teased" me bout me being "fat"( they were very flat chested, i never was compared to them at least so that made me"fat".) and i really think this made me believe something totally untrue about myself... now it is true ( the "fat " part) but i can't say i feel that much worse about my self than i did then just kind of like it's what i deserved all along if that makes sense..the point is though i wish parents could get the gist of that, kids take to heart what parents( or others) think is a joke...maybe then there wouldn't be so many girls with such serious eating disorders. my own daughter is heavier than i was at her age but has good self esteem ( skipped a generation i guess) and i do agree with the others comments as she has had plenty of boyfriends. so i think it is alot about self worth and your attitude as to how others view you
and about the illness though ot somewhat...I've been through a lot of things and i have to say contacting a chronic debilitating, disabling illness has been one of the hardest to cope with as it totally changes who you "are" not only to you but to others also...just wanted to tell OP i hope you come to terms and can have as good of life as you can...personally i feel if you can get in contact with a support group even if you just form one friendship with someone who knows what you are going through( which no one who is healthy really can as much as they might try cause they haven't lived it) it has really been a help to me. I hope the therapy helps you come to terms. ( guess i could have pmed that but didn't think of it)
Hollywood gets a bad rap for presenting films and TV with such thin actresses, but then it's because they've found that's what sells to the public the most 
