Does anyone else feel like this... For Women Only

[Christine]

One exception is your kids. And they don't think of how you look at all.

E.

Hmmmm...I'll remember that the next time my son is standing in line with me at the water park and he says "Mom, why do you have 'dents' in your legs" (referring to my cellulite).

 

[mom2fivecs]

Thanks for bringing up this subject matter. I know it has made me and I am sure quite a few others feel better about themselves. At 5'1" and 140 lbs. I know I am not the "cow" but just one of many who are just beginning to love themselves for who they are and not worry about what others think. My five kids deserve to have a mom who feels good about the skin she is in and I just hope that I am giving that to them and that my feeling good about myself should always outweigh the negative people out there, because as it has clearly been shown in this thread, I think they are outnumbered.

 

[PeterPanette]

::standing, clearing throat:: I am a plus sized woman and I absolutley love going to the waterparks and swimming pools!

I am not a 12/14/16....honey, if I were those sizes I would be running around screaming at people to look at my gorgeous body!!!! No no, I'm a plus sized woman! People below size 26 (skinny minnies to me).

For those who have a problem with large women dress like they are a size "4", I do dress correctly for my size, I was worried I would offend your self centered, higher than mighty <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep>. Oops, where did my sweet southern nature go.

Can I tell you a secret....let me tell you who us "fatties" look at. Everyone! But I'm not looking at their bodies. Want to know what I'm looking at? I'll tell you. I'm looking at a man who is seeing his wife/girlfriend/sweetheart in a loving way. I'm watching the young couple that is helping their first child play in the water. I'm watching brothers/sisters teaching their siblings how to swim or play. I'm watching a father play with his kids on vacation, cause at home, you know he is to busy to be playing like this. I'm watching a mother scold her child for running, not because she wants to yell at him/her, but wants her child to be safe as possible. I'm watching love, tenderness, fun happening in front of my eyes. Oh yeah, and I'm espcially watching for the people in the water when the wave hits at the wave pools....I'm out there with them and I don't like being run over and running over someone in the water!


So go ahead, stare at me. Because here it is layed out. I have this body, sickness, eating disorder, laziness, pill taking, what ever my reason. This is the body I live in, I'm happy. I'm at Disneyworld. I'm going to go ride the Haunted Mansion....enjoy life, I am. Hope you will do the same.

I know I'm a woman. And I know I'm hetero. But, I think I LOVE YOU!!! Your post gave me goosebumps! I laughed. I cried. I ate some girl scout cookies.

Well said, my Goddess!!!!

Charlene

 

[DebIreland]

PeterPanette,
Great graphic

 

[PeterPanette]

PeterPanette,
Great graphic

Thanks, Deb.

 

[MICKEY88]

Stop trying so hard? Huh? I NEVER exercise and I eat pretty much whatever I want. I spend almost all of my time with my kids and family. I am extremely active at my kids' school, as well as Boy Scouts and after-school sports. You don't have to be fat in order to be a good parent. You seem to have alluded to this above. After I had kids I watched what I ate for a month or two in order to get off all of the baby fat. I wasn't going to let children be an excuse for gaining weight. Since then, I do what I want.

As for your comments about size, I guess it's all a matter of opinion. I'm not going to argue with you if you feel that 5'4" and 145lbs looks good. I am 5' 3.5" and I know I would look like a cow if I was 145lbs. Right now I'm at an all-time high for weight and I'm 114 (I'm more like 106-110 during swimsuit season)...I look and feel like I need to lose a few pounds. NO WAY could I look acceptable at 145!!! It all comes down to bone structure and MOST people who are 5'4" could not pull off 145lbs and still look slender.

as a photographer who has worked with a lot of models, I can assure you that 5'4" 145 does not look like a cow, however 5' 3.5" and 110 sounds more like a pre-pubescent girl or anorexic girl, than a healthy woman..



edited to ad:

if you are happy with the way you look that's great, but don't expect other women to measure up to your idea of healthy looking.

it's not size that matters but dressing appropriately.
to me, no female looks good, wearing something too tight, too short, or too low cut..no matter what size or age..


I've seen women who are size 16-18 who because they dress appropriately/clothes that fit, look much healthier than a lot of 2-4-6 females who wear poor fitting clothing..

maybe I'm getting old, but the first things I notice are eyes, smile and intelligence

 

[motherhen17404]

I am a BBW (Big, Beautiful Woman). It took me a long time to understand that it does not matter what others think of me, what matters is what I think of myself. DH and I go dancing every Friday night and I wear very low cut, cleavage showing, short dresses. I feel very comfortable wearing them because I have learned to have confidence in myself. I am not sure some people on here would think I was dressing like a large woman should. But I have a lot of gentlemen who want to dance with me, even though I am a BBW. It has taken me over 40 years to finally accept myself. I grew up with my father telling me I would be cute if I would only loose weight. I was 35 before I stood up to him and told him to just shut up, if he did not love me like I am, then that was his problem and not mine. That was the hardest thing to do, stand up for myself. I am not sure if I could have done that without the support of my DH. My DH always loved me no matter how big I am. We took a cruise last summer and I held my head high as I was walking around the pool deck in my swimsuit. I really don't care what others think when the saw me, I was there to have fun. I remember getting in the hot tub and there was a gentleman there who started talking to us and he stopped and looked at me. I thought, ok here goes, he is going to say something rude. All he said was when I smile my eyes sparkle and light up the room! Ah, a true gentleman, they are out there!

To the OP- have fun in the pool and don't worry what others might be thinking about you. Do not give others the power to control how you feel about yourself. Have a great trip!

 

[WeluvDisney2]

I feel intense pressure from men to be thin, and even uncomfortable to even go out there and date without being in great shape because if not, I will be overlooked by 95% of men in the room. It hasn't been me who's put these expectations on myself--I'd be happy as long as I was healthy

Ladyhawke10, You should not WANT the 95% of the men who would overlook you, the real treasures are the 5% that would not.

I have had to get over self-consciousness (sp?) really quick in the past few months. I have been in treatment for breast cancer since November. I lost my hair the day before Christmas. I had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago. I have learned that my husband certainly does not only love me for my looks. (Thank God!) And you know what, I would not choose any other man in the entire world!

We are hoping to go on a Disney Cruise in September to celebrate our 15th Anniversary. I can not wait to hit the beach in Castaway Cay in my post-mastectomy bathing suit! Hopefully I will have hair by then, but if not I will just wear extra sunscreen! I am on vacation, and I am ALIVE!

Don't worry sweetie, there are wonderful men out there, just don't settle for anything less! Any man who makes you feel badly about yourself is not worth another minute of your time.

 

[TheRatPack]

I have to go with the majority here. SWIM and have fun. I for years never got in the pool with my kids and dh. I would do laundry while they swam or I'd be the towel watcher and read a book LOL I'm not big/obese by the charts, but I'm still very aware that I'm not the same size as before the two children

Still, I didn't want my kids growing up with a mom who was uncomfortable with her body.....that puts them in to the same thinking. So now I get on my bathing suit right along with them and jump in the pool and you know what.....once you're in and swimming and having a leisurely time, you forget all those other people

 

[elizke]

Hmmmm...I'll remember that the next time my son is standing in line with me at the water park and he says "Mom, why do you have 'dents' in your legs" (referring to my cellulite).

But it's just a factual question, not a judgement call. : )))

And dang that cellulite! I hate it! (Been trying the "firming" cream and crossing my fingers for April.)

E.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Love yourself, enjoy yourself. Someone who has issues with the way YOU look is clearly battling their own insecurities and issues. I have family and friends who come in all shapes and sizes, and I love them all. I don't love them on a sliding scale inversely based on weight, I love them for the joy they bring into my life.

That being said... I would rather stand next to someone with an imperfect figure in a bathing suit than:

stand next to a smoker
(c'mon, the world knows it kills ya. Do yourself and your kids a lifelong favor and quit!)

stand next to someone who uses profanity
(can you say 'family park' and 'increase your vocabulary' anyone?)

stand next to someone who berates his or her child(ren)
(Nothing like instilling confidence and tolerance at an early age)

stand next to someone who is miserable and wants to make sure I am, too
(appreciate life.... and quit your whining)

stand next to someone who picks his or her nose
(Have a tissue. Please. I beg you.)

Beware, all you nose-picking smokers who cuss at your kids...

 

[Christine]

But it's just a factual question, not a judgement call. : )))

And dang that cellulite! I hate it! (Been trying the "firming" cream and crossing my fingers for April.)

E.

Oh, he's "factual" all right.

It was just one of those times, you know. I was at Disney World, feeling "not too bad" in my one piece and HE had to go and say that. I was really hoping that *I* was the only one noticing my cellulite.

The funny thing about it all is, is that I guess most people aren't really happy. I don't consider myself overweight as much as "out of shape." I'm 42 years old, 5'7", and weigh 145 lbs. In clothing, honestly, I think I have a pretty good figure and I wear a lot of "figure hugging" clothing. But I am just TERRIFIED of being out in a swimsuit. I hate the way my body looks. I think my arms are pudgy looking (and I don't even have the "old woman flab" on my arm yet) and my thighs and knees just look BLECH. I want to look "HOT" and I don't. That bugs me. It's not enough anymore to just be okay. Maybe it is the media doing it to me.

I was reading my "SELF" magazine last night which is full of 17 year old models frolicking on the beach in their cute little workout clothes. God, I want to look like them and I guess because for about 15 minutes one day, I did, it is just depressing.

 

[Nancyg56]

as a photographer who has worked with a lot of models, I can assure you that 5'4" 145 does not look like a cow, however 5' 3.5" and 110 sounds more like a pre-pubescent girl or anorexic girl, than a healthy woman..



edited to ad:

if you are happy with the way you look that's great, but don't expect other women to measure up to your idea of healthy looking.

it's not size that matters but dressing appropriately.
to me, no female looks good, wearing something too tight, too short, or too low cut..no matter what size or age..


I've seen women who are size 16-18 who because they dress appropriately/clothes that fit, look much healthier than a lot of 2-4-6 females who wear poor fitting clothing..

maybe I'm getting old, but the first things I notice are eyes, smile and intelligence

Thank you for this post. There is confusion between weight and health. Yes, it is important to exercize and eat healthy foods, but I cannot tell you how many women are thin, yet are so not healthy. They drink and smoke, so they don't eat much. In fact there are women who smoke in order to keep their weight down. Something happens to the way you metabolize food if you smoke, so you do not gain, but you do not absorb the nutrients either. Only a Dr can advise a person if there are health issues. A person trotting down the street would not know if a heavy woman had health issues or if a thin woman had a cholesteral level approaching Mars.

 

[kaysmommie]

The thing I hate the most is my belly pouch! Alot of women have this. But just today some women asked me if I was expecting. Has this ever happened to anyone else because it is upsetting to me. This is not the first time someone has asked me either. I weigh around 135 and am 5' 2" I personally think I look chunky. But my belly is so stretch out that even with clothes on I guess it is noticeable. Both times it was a women asking , one time was at the pediatrician and the nurse said I couldn't be with DS when he got his xray because she assumed I was pregnant. Ds was only 15 months am I supposed to look perfect by yhen. I never will again DS was a 10 lb baby. The thing is I wear size 6 & sometimes 8 I definately don't look pregnant. Some people are so insulting. Unless I was 100 % someone was pregnant I would keep my mouth shut. I get very upset about this. Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[DebIreland]

Kaysmommie,
I hear ya on the tummy pouch. I really must try to work on that myself. I'm so sorry you were asked if you were pregnant I often feel I look pregnant and I just hate this tummy of mine. When I was in the very early stages of pregnancy with my youngest (she's just turned 2) my then 7 year old was so excited when I told him we were having a new baby he, all of a sudden, said "oh, I just realised, that's why you have a big belly because the baby is in there". How sweet and innocent and totally depressing at the same time, I didn't have the heart to say that the baby, at 7 weeks gestation, was not the cause of the less-than-flat (ahem!) belly! Actually, I would get over big thighs, behind, etc, it's this belly I have issues with. Grrrrr! Anyway, I sympathise and frankly, I think it's very rude that the nurse assumed you were pregnant (in order to prevent harm from the x-ray she just had to ask if there was a chance you were expecting) and that woman today too. Anyway, belly pouch or not, I'm looking forward to the pool at WDW (kinda!).

 

[DebIreland]

I am a BBW (Big, Beautiful Woman). It took me a long time to understand that it does not matter what others think of me, what matters is what I think of myself. DH and I go dancing every Friday night and I wear very low cut, cleavage showing, short dresses. I feel very comfortable wearing them because I have learned to have confidence in myself. I am not sure some people on here would think I was dressing like a large woman should.

That's terrific!!!! You keep doing what you're doing, have fun and enjoy yourself! I admire you!

 

[jekajekalynn]

I feel that today media and Hollywood are projecting an odd sense of what an "ideal' body type should look like... It seems like the more skeletonized they are the better, which is not at ALL what women in the REAL world are.

I applaud Dove's new campaign featuring REAL women. Because everywoman should remember , even Marilyn Monroe herself was not a size -4 like a lot of todays fashion models are. ( I believe she was a size 12?)

I know it sounds weird , but I kindof feel sorry for the Olsen twins, Lindsey Lohan, and all those teen girls in the tabloids. Hollywood and the media is putting such a burden on them weight issue wise. It seems like they can never get it right with the, you either too fat in their eyes, and when you think you're too fat than you spiral into anorexia and then you get "Waisting Away!!" in the papers...

This is why I REFUSE to buy those kindof papers/magazines since I have ENOUGH going on in my own life to be concerned about celebs private life.

 

[Ladyhawke10]

Ladyhawke10, You should not WANT the 95% of the men who would overlook you, the real treasures are the 5% that would not.

I have had to get over self-consciousness (sp?) really quick in the past few months. I have been in treatment for breast cancer since November. I lost my hair the day before Christmas. I had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago. I have learned that my husband certainly does not only love me for my looks. (Thank God!) And you know what, I would not choose any other man in the entire world!

We are hoping to go on a Disney Cruise in September to celebrate our 15th Anniversary. I can not wait to hit the beach in Castaway Cay in my post-mastectomy bathing suit! Hopefully I will have hair by then, but if not I will just wear extra sunscreen! I am on vacation, and I am ALIVE!

Don't worry sweetie, there are wonderful men out there, just don't settle for anything less! Any man who makes you feel badly about yourself is not worth another minute of your time.

Oh, you got me misty-eyed with your response and what you're going through yourself. I'm so glad you have such a great DH. And thanks for the encouragement about finding that valuable 5%. I'm now a single mom and hardly have the motivation to get out there between my career and motherhood (my second career! ), but I'm sure if I tried to remind myself of the mere existance of that 5%, I'd probably put in more effort. Thanks again

 

[kaysmommie]

I love the Dove commercial too! That is what alot of us really look like (me for one). Alot of different shapes & sizes. Not a bunch of anorexic teenagers. As far as the belly I'm going to take my own advice and go swimming with my little ones. I have a tankini that covers my belly pouch.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

Oh, you got me misty-eyed with your response and what you're going through yourself. I'm so glad you have such a great DH. And thanks for the encouragement about finding that valuable 5%. I'm now a single mom and hardly have the motivation to get out there between my career and motherhood (my second career! ), but I'm sure if I tried to remind myself of the mere existance of that 5%, I'd probably put in more effort. Thanks again

You're welcome.