Does anyone else feel like this... For Women Only

[Stitch1404]

You should be proud that you had the courage to raise a little girl as a teenager.

Thank you, I am very proud of this and I have to say she is turning out wonderfully! Of course that's her mother talking...

But it just really bugs me how people have such double standards. I am now 22 and married. When I go to WDW now people don't ever take a second look at our family. Yet when I was an unwed pregnant teenager 5 years ago the stares and comments were unbearable. The same goes for bigger people. How is a person any different just because of their size? I have watched my aunt grow from a size 6 to now a size 20 or so. Is she a different person? Of course not. It just really saddens me to see people staring at her or making comments, yet when she was a size 6 there were never any comments. SHE IS THE SAME PERSON!!! I guess I don't really have a point, it is just one of those things that bugs me sooo much!

 

[Nancyg56]

I, too am a 41 yr old male. We have been to WDW several times. My mother passed away when I was 5 from breast cancer. Since then, my 2 older sisters have had to have complete mascetomy's ( hope i spelled that right) they are 53 and 46.

I, nor any of my family members look at them any differently than before. In my eyes, they are my heros. I admire them for their courage and their fight thru a disease. ( thankfully, they have been cancer free for over 5 years now.)

My one sister used to always say to me, "its easy for you to say, but I have to look at myself everyday".

But after encouragement and more encouragement from me and others, both of my sisters "live life today" and worry about tomorrow....TOMORROW.

It sounds like you have an encouraging husband and hopefully these messages have helped you too.

Go enjoy yourself, a mature adult, which i honestly believe most of us are, will look upon you as a "strong woman".

BUT, as I stated what my sister said to me once..."i have to look at myself everyday", you MUST feel comfortable with your situation. Dont worry about what others may think, to me and im sure others, its irrelevant.

Trust me, I am no George Cloney clone myself...but I dont care. IM IN DISNEY WORLD.

BTW, just look at some of the Europeans how they dress. ( from a mans point of view now) ...I wouldnt be caught dead in a skin tight speedo....but they dont care and neither should you.

BUT, once you are comfortable with yourself.."its full speed ahead."

As one of the posters said, " you'll never see those people again". Words of POR piano man, Bob Jackson, I live by.

Enjoy yourself, and I truly hope your illness is conquered.

Your family must be very special. Thank you as well as the other men who tok the time to remind us that it doesn't really matter if we do not fit into the perfect 10 package.

 

[Ladyhawke10]

Thank you as well as the other men who tok the time to remind us that it doesn't really matter if we do not fit into the perfect 10 package.

I'm going to go out on a limb here just to say something about my own experiences with this... while I've seen many women's magazine headlines claiming that it's women who convince themselves that they need to be thin for men, and that men don't perpetuate this themselves...I have to disagree. I was a thin teen who ran regularly and counted calories daily (I still remember the drill...700 calories before 5pm, no more than 1200 between 5pm through 10pm for an average of about 1800-2000/day...this kept me thin--along with a vigorous exercise program--through college) and I still remember my egotistical fraternity boyfriend haggling me to lose another ten pounds. He wasn't the only one. I remember feeling pretty good about my weight in my 20s and dating someone who said he liked me because I was on the chubby side (...and I didn't think I was chubby--I felt blindsided). Or other times when I'd (gasp!) gain a few and get haggled off and on by my second boyfriend in my early twenties. The list goes on. I feel intense pressure from men to be thin, and even uncomfortable to even go out there and date without being in great shape because if not, I will be overlooked by 95% of men in the room. It hasn't been me who's put these expectations on myself--I'd be happy as long as I was healthy

PS I do appreciate the men who posted that they feel otherwise. I just have not met these men in real life

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

PS I do appreciate the men who posted that they feel otherwise. I just have not met these men in real life

I've met these men! I'm about 80 lbs. heavier than I need to be, but I get up EVERY DAY and pretend I'm not that fat. I shower, do my hair, put on makeup and dress as good as I can. And then I go out and pretend I'm pretty...smiling at people and being as friendly as I can. Men will always flirt! And those who don't are usually experiencing bad feelings about themselves.

When I feel I look bad, I act that way...and the lack of confidence is apparent to people around me.

I say put on that suit. Get out there and enjoy it all, and pretend you are looking BEAUTIFUL. It will show.

 

[Duchie]

I haven't had time to read through all 10 pages of this thread (just stumbled across it tonight). There are so many kind words of encouragement here and it makes me feel all

Many folks posted about buying flattering bathing suits for larger figures. I was wondering if anyone could suggest a place to find them. My sis just lost over 100 lbs and is down to a size 16. This is the first year in a LOOOOOOONG time she will be looking forward to wearing a bathing suit and I'd like to help her find a good one. So any suggestions on where we should start would be appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[jeancbpugh]

Not only do very few overweight people choose suits with skirts

Hey! Skipping the skirt isn't aesthetics, it's function! You can't really swim with a skirt.

 

[Aidensmom]

That's an interesting way to put it...acceptable to whom?

And did someone say if you wear a size 12 you are fat unless you are over 6 feet tall? I'm 5'8" and I'm not overweight according to those who draw up those charts for health reasons. I'm just not the aesthetic ideal. I'd have to lose 30 pounds for that...and I'm not overweight to begin with. Even if I lost the weight, I'd have to have my hipbones shaved off just to attain the ideal. That just strikes me as silly.

Oh, and I'm 41. I wear bikini tops and board shorts. I don't think anyone else cares what I'm wearing.

Having met you, I would also say its not just the health thing, you do NOT look overweight.

I think most women feel somewhat uncomfortable in a bathing suit. We are used to being judged on by our looks. I am a size 2, and I still feel uncomfortable. I just make a point to remind myself that most people are not going to notice me anyways, everyone else is too worried about what people are thinking of them! Seriously, I know I am not noticing everyone else for that very reason.

I do think though, that if everyone really tried to find a suit that was most flattering to their body style, be that a 2 piece, a one piece, a skirt, a tankini, whatever, people would feel more comfortable. I know I always feel more confident in something that suits my body style. In my case, that is actually a 2 piece, because one pieces tend to flatten me out and make me look boyish. I did miss the memo that people as old as me should not wear bikinis.

 

[jekajekalynn]

I haven't had time to read through all 10 pages of this thread (just stumbled across it tonight). There are so many kind words of encouragement here and it makes me feel all

Many folks posted about buying flattering bathing suits for larger figures. I was wondering if anyone could suggest a place to find them. My sis just lost over 100 lbs and is down to a size 16. This is the first year in a LOOOOOOONG time she will be looking forward to wearing a bathing suit and I'd like to help her find a good one. So any suggestions on where we should start would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Have you tried fashion bug? (fashionbug.com) There is one there that I bought that I LOVE. It is SOOOO 60's retro /bond girlish looking lol

To OP : Have fun on your vacation!! I am VERY pooh sized since I gained a lot of weight after a VERY weird illness last July left me with several months of arthritus that went away this fall.... Anyways, I say have fun!!! and if you are really concerned, why not rent a pool house?! They are WAYYYYYYYY cheaper than onsite hotels and you get your OWN private pool!

 

[Snow Brite]

I really like the quality of the suits at Junonia. The Printed Happiness Suit has good coverage and is still pretty. They are not always the prettiest suits though, but are generally flattering and more sporty. The Althetic Colorban Suit is one of these. I love how the middle is a bright color and the hips have black....makes me feel skinny! If you truly want to be covered they also have some good suits that will cover you to your knees and still let you swim easily.

Some of the Lands End suits goes up to size 26W and are also good quality and pretty, although not styled just for larger sizes so sometimes not as flattering. The Three Piece Dot Tankini for instance comes with a free coverup skirt and is cute. Or the Slender Tunic Tank.

Anyhooo...I think if I look pulled together, like I took time with my appearance and a well made good looking suit, then I just go in the pool and have fun. I usually have matching flipflops and a towel and just "play pretty" like someone else said.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm so sorry!

Teh only thing I can suggest is buy the most flatter swimsuit you can find. The swimsuit makes all the difference whether you are pixie or pooh! Anyone can look fabulous!

I invested in one from one of our surf shops. It is a tankini and the botom is a skirt. It is really cute. Cost $80 bucks and at the time I bought it--I felt like a million bucks.

You might try that.

 

[dixipixi]

I haven't had time to read through all 10 pages of this thread (just stumbled across it tonight). There are so many kind words of encouragement here and it makes me feel all

Many folks posted about buying flattering bathing suits for larger figures. I was wondering if anyone could suggest a place to find them. My sis just lost over 100 lbs and is down to a size 16. This is the first year in a LOOOOOOONG time she will be looking forward to wearing a bathing suit and I'd like to help her find a good one. So any suggestions on where we should start would be appreciated.

Thanks!

I just bought some mix and match separate pieces at JC Penney. They have several nice halter style tops (full coverage, they meet the suit bottom) and lots of bottoms in different styles. They have shorts, skirts, and regular suit bottoms in lots of beautiful colors. (BTW, I wear a 16 also)

I bought one navy and one black skirt bottom and several different tops that match. For a little money, I have lots of different looks. We have a pool as well as everyone else we know and lots of pool parties during the summer, so it's nice to have different suits.

They also had some very nice one piece suits with "control features" and in lots of different styles to camouflage various areas.

Good Luck!!!

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I haven't had time to read through all 10 pages of this thread (just stumbled across it tonight). There are so many kind words of encouragement here and it makes me feel all

Many folks posted about buying flattering bathing suits for larger figures. I was wondering if anyone could suggest a place to find them. My sis just lost over 100 lbs and is down to a size 16. This is the first year in a LOOOOOOONG time she will be looking forward to wearing a bathing suit and I'd like to help her find a good one. So any suggestions on where we should start would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Cyberswim.com

This place is the best!

 

[ihearttink]

When I started this thread I had doubts anyone would even reply, maybe 1 or 2 people. I want to say thank you for being so supportive. I think sometimes feeling "alone" in a situation is harder then the problem bothering me.

I have been doing a lot of thinking this weekend as I read the posts. Some of the thoughts I had: 1) Even when I was a size 3 I was no more confident back then than I am now, plus I was always starving. Yes, I did exercise, walked 4 miles daily, but I hardly ate, and rice cakes don't count there made out of air; 2) My low self esteem started from my sister and mother saying I was "fat" when I was in middle school. Actually the weight came off by itself, but the message was never forgotten. 3) This illness has stopped me in my tracks. I have started seeing a therapist to help me accept my condition. It will not be going away and I need to admit that to myself. I really don't like pitty parties anyway; 4) DH tells me he likes a little meat to hold on too. When I was small he was afraid he was going to break me in half. He is a wonderful man, I am blessed to have him, but he has his bad qualities too. He has always been able to eat anything he wanted and not put on a pound (tall and skinny), but he is showing love handles now and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. 5) I want Mandesa to win American Idol. I think her voice is awsome; 6) Wasn't Marilyn Monroe a size 12? 7) Dove has the best commericials on tv for "real women"; and 8) Everyone has issues, you just can't see them from the outside.

Lastly: I'M GOING SWIMMING! Last one in is a rotten egg. And when I hold my husband it will be by his love handles because I do love them! We are taking this trip for out 21st anniversary.

Again Thanks to all, you don't know what your words have meant to me.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am more than the sum of my body parts. I, too, used to be skinny with a flat tummy. Those days are gone. I am working on being more physically fit overall, but I'll never be a size 10 again.

I am fortunate though that my parents instilled a pretty high self-esteem in me which focused much more on the person I am than what I looked like.

Plus, if you really look around WDW, there aren't a lot of "perfect" bodies there!!!!

 

[jeankeri]

ihearttink- thanks for your words, they've made me realize I've been putting too much pressure on my DS10 about his weight. He is the typical kid you've been hearing about on the news- no activity, and even with little TV or junk food, has started to put on weight. Your experience with your mom made me realize that I am giving him a complex, and that I cannot bear doing. I would love to be able to be his cheerleader, but any attention I give to his weight gets taken as a criticism.
I also am rooting for Mandesa; her evtraordinary voice is matched by her grace and beauty.

 

[ihearttink]

ihearttink- thanks for your words, they've made me realize I've been putting too much pressure on my DS10 about his weight. He is the typical kid you've been hearing about on the news- no activity, and even with little TV or junk food, has started to put on weight. Your experience with your mom made me realize that I am giving him a complex, and that I cannot bear doing. I would love to be able to be his cheerleader, but any attention I give to his weight gets taken as a criticism.
I also am rooting for Mandesa; her evtraordinary voice is matched by her grace and beauty.

Jeankeri - I have a DD who is now 20. At around 10 years old she put on weight, loved to play nintendo instead of going outside. Of course my family had their opinions. In fact, her pediatrition said to put her on a diet. Well, I told him just what I thought of him and went & found a new pedi who never mentioned her weight. I never said a word to her about her weight. She lost it all without any diet whatsoever. She started playing soccor and just became more active in school.

You are your son's cheerleader . Don't give the weight issue the attention,draw on the positives. See if your town or school have any sports acitivies that he may be interested in. Sports, besides being healthy and fun, teaches kids how to work with others, leadership skills and builds confidence.

 

[Nancyg56]

Lastly: I'M GOING SWIMMING! Last one in is a rotten egg. And when I hold my husband it will be by his love handles because I do love them! We are taking this trip for out 21st anniversary.

Again Thanks to all, you don't know what your words have meant to me.

First of all: and to you! You are a brave lady to open yourself up to what could have been painful and cruel comments. For this thread, I must thank you. You see, I have read all of the posts, and see myself in a lot of them. Yesterday, I would have said "Go swimming, and forget anyone else but yourself and your family." Today, I need to look at myself, and ask why I feel fat, and why can I be supportive of another woman, yet beat myself up when I put on a bathing suit. I think that you allowed many of us to share thoughts that we keep to ourselves, and I appreciate this, because this is a dialogue that I have been having with myself.....and you all know where that kind of discussion goes. I'm not sure what I am going to do, but I do know that this thread opened my eyes in regards to the way that I view myself, and what I control and what I do not. Oh, well, I am not done thinking about this, but I wanted to tell you that I really do thank you, and hope that you are the first one in...wouldn't do to be a rotten egg!

 

[kaysmommie]

Ihearttink, This post has let alot of us women vent about how we feel bad about ourselves, It was nice to see how many supportive nice women are out there. Have and Awesome vacation. Happy Anniversary!

 

[elizke]

Congratulations OP!! And you did a service posting your concerns. Obviously you are in the majority and we could all use some reminders here about how to have fun despite the fact that we do not look perfect.

I am somewhere in the middle. Depends on who's lookin' at me whether they consider me big or not so big. (Don't think anyone would say I'm skinny though.) Over 40, two babies, C-Section pouch, quit smoking, and had never been skin and bones anyway.

AND, I have always been a prude. Hated wearing suits even when I looked smaller.

So even 20 years ago I looked for skirted styles because I just felt more comfortable in them. Very hard to find ones that look cool, and still look decent wet. STILL looking for the perfect one.

But, as someone else mentioned, I think often of Dr. Phil's comment because it it so true. He attributes it to his father.

"You'd worry less about what other people think of you if you knew how seldom they did."

One exception is your kids. And they don't think of how you look at all.

E.

 

[Snowysmom]

I don't really think anyone at the pools at Disney are looking at what people look like, they are just having fun. I am a pooh sized woman and I have gone into the pools on every trip. I do wear a nice skirted swimsuit so I feel "covered." But I never give anyone a second thought because I am there to have fun. It may be different since you do have an illness and may be more sensitive because of it. But, go, forget about anyone else, and just have fun with your family and friends.