Do your adult children get drunk in front of you?

[shortbun]

I went to a party today of mostly people we've known for years. We celebrated the births of all our children together and some of them have reached 21. One of the 21yo girls got pretty loaded with her parents today and her dad was bragging about how he had taken her drinking on campus after a football game a week ago. She was clearly accustomed to drinking but she was sloppy and I was embarrassed for her. I never got drunk with my parents and I don't think I'll be encouraging drinking to my son when he reaches 21. I would probably offer him a glass of wine or a beer but no one would be over drinking. Am I too uptight about this?

 

[phyllis1966]

I don't think you're uptight, but I've come to realize that lots of people would think we are! My family is Italian and I grew up seeing my father and grandparents have wine with dinner every night, but nobody ever got drunk. Our family drank responsibly, so it seems so unusual to me when parents allow and/or encourage overindulging in booze. Most of my friends and in-laws look at me like I'm the weirdo when I wonder aloud at the fact that they've allowed their under-aged kids to drink at parties.

 

[ceemys]

I can't tell you the last time I was drunk. I just have better things to do. But to answer your question...I would never get drunk in front of my kids and would never get drunk in front of my parents! However, my dad had NO issues getting drunk in front of me growing up. sigh.

 

[Christine]

Well, we don't have a lot of opportunities to get in situations where I would see my 22 y/o daughter drunk. However, for her 21st birthday, we were at Disney. Her and a friend did "drink around the world" at Epcot. I was not with her as we did a different park that day but we met up for an early dinner at Epcot.

Now, she was not falling down drunk, but it was obvious she'd had a few drinks. Just a little bit loud, just a little bit more "outgoing." It wasn't a huge deal and I just kind of chuckled.

For the most part, I do not mind if one of my kids has a few drinks and gets a little inebriated in front of me. I don't like to be around ANYONE that is "loaded."

I'm a non-drinker, BTW.

 

[MickeySP]

Does he on a regular basis but yes he has been drunk in front of me twice.

Once on his 21st BDay, we hosted the party to control the alcohol & the age of guests & the car keys. Basically he had a few too many and went to bed by 10pm

The 2nd was when he was playing a drinking game and we came home, again over 21. A long talk ensued on that one.

Now I have never been drunk in front of my child or his friends. I didn't even drink in front of him until he was 15 or so & we could intelligently talk about alcohol.

Oh I was drunk in front of my parents once at 16(drinking age was 18 then) & once was all it took.

 

[NMAmy]

DD has never seen me have more than two drinks at a time with dinner or on an evening out so when she's with me, she does the same. I encourage dd to enjoy the occasional drink but I don't enjoy getting drunk nor would I encourage her to do that.

She told me that when DH and I had left after the clean up at her wedding this summer, her dad and a family friend had her do a few shots with them. She ended up telling her dad off for something he'd been doing that had been annoying her for awhile. I don't think he'll be buying her shots again.

 

[pat fan]

I would hate it, and probably say something. My kids are both over 21 and have ordered a beer or wine when we have been out to dinner, and my older son orders more than I'd like! One beer with dinner is fine, but when you keep going back fro more, it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't drink (or maybe once a year) and my DH doesn't drink because he is an alcoholic. He was never mean or anything, but it was a consuming need, if you know what I mean. That's why my DS's habits make me so nervous and I have talked to him many times, to no avail.

 

[tazdev3225]

My DD's rarely drink so not an issue. My son however has gotten drunk in front of me. Usually once a year at his birthday party. I just leave when the drinking games start. He's 31 y/o and on his own so it's not my place to tell him what to do but he drinks at his house and doesn't drive while drunk.

His wife however has an issue with me because I have refused to babysit my grandson so she can go out drinking on weekends with her friends while my son was at work. I don't care if she drinks, but at her house. I will not aid her in drinking and then driving. She honestly had the nerve to tell me that she drives better drunk because she's more alert. She doesn't ask anymore.

 

[luvsJack]

ODS will drink a couple of beers at a cookout. YDS has never drank more than maybe one beer or glass of wine in front of me.

I feel very blessed for this as it is a very different scenario in their father's family. I don't think either of them do but at any family get together, everyone drinks to the point of "loaded" except the few that are under age--and truthfully I imagine a few of the under age ones do too.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

My mom was DD for two of my birthdays in my early 20's so she has seen me drunk twice. She thought it was funny. However I don't get drunk all the time(and when I do I always have a DD) so it has never got to the point she was embarrassed.

 

[*Fantasia*]

My children are way under the drinking age, but when they do get to that age, I very much doubt that they would be drinking in front of me, or even maybe around me. I don't drink and my side of the family don't drink. My late husband's family drink occasionally, but they sit around and sip and talk, but they never inhale alcohol. No one drives home tipsy from my MIL's house. They are very responsible adults. Same goes with smoking. I don't think that they will be smoking when they become an adult. No one in my family smokes. I don't smoke nor my in-laws side. My children knows how I feel about drinking an smoking.

 

[momabbate]

I have a drink every once in a while. My oldest doesn't drink to much. All I have ever seen him do is taste one of my hubby's new drinks. My middle one drinks to much if you ask me. Not sloppy drunk but enough to make me worry. Yes I have seen him drink. He moved back home before going boot camp due to his lease being up four months before he shipped out. As for my youngest, she turns 21 next January. I plan to take her out to a nice dinner and buy her first drink. After that she is going out with friends I will drive them if they want. I feel comfortable in how I raised them. They don't have to hide what they do from me. (Although I do with my middle one would remember I am his mom and don't need to hear everything.)
Don't get me wrong I am their mom not their friend. They hear it when they do something I don't agree with. I just talk to them about their choices.

 

[BlovesC]

My parents never, ever drank, not even as a celebratory thing. They had no big moral reason behind it, they both simply hated the taste of alcohol. I'd feel kind of weird drinking in front of my father now, even, say, a simple cocktail at a restaurant. So I definitely can't imagine getting drunk in front of him!

 

[MrsDuck]

I'm in my 20s and I don't drink anymore.

BUT, the majority of times I've been drunk I've been with my parents. We are VERY close and I've never thought anything of it.

 

[indimom]

I have never been drunk in front of my parents and they have never been drunk in front of me. We tend to nurse our drinks so not much chance of getting to that point.

My kids aren't that old yet. But, if they were an adult and sloppy drunk, I would probably make sure someone else was driving, and just leave the party. It's not something I would think is funny and I wouldn't want to sit there and watch.

 

[Janepod]

My brothers and I have often been drunk with my father. We've even been to Oktoberfest in Munich together a few times.

My parents were very strict about alcohol when we were young (zero tolerance) but once we reached majority, no problem. I never saw my father drunk until he was about 58, after a big party.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I went to a party today of mostly people we've known for years. We celebrated the births of all our children together and some of them have reached 21. One of the 21yo girls got pretty loaded with her parents today and her dad was bragging about how he had taken her drinking on campus after a football game a week ago. She was clearly accustomed to drinking but she was sloppy and I was embarrassed for her. I never got drunk with my parents and I don't think I'll be encouraging drinking to my son when he reaches 21. I would probably offer him a glass of wine or a beer but no one would be over drinking. Am I too uptight about this?

We took my dd to the casino and she got pretty drunk when she turned 21.

I make a mean "Cherry 'Rita" and I just was having a "Scrimshaw" beer last night with dinner. A nice pale ale if you are looking for something a bit different.

I would not say you are uptight, I would just say that it is what it is.

We like to knock back a few and have a good time.

 

[LisaR]

This reminds me of something I witnessed on Facebook in the beginning of summer. I am "friends" with this person from high school. Her DD turned 21 and mom and dad took her, her pregnant girlfriend, and the boyfriend of the friend on a trip. The event was chronicled on FB and it involved getting as hammered as possible. They started with tequila shots at the airport including the pregnant girl. Almost every picture of the daughter involved one of those two foot tall drinks in her hand and she looked absolutely trashed. At one point, someone asked if they were going to see some landmark and mom commented that their DD was busy "praying to the porcelain God" followed by a ton of LOL's. It was "interesting" to read their daily postings. To each his own, but not my cup of tea.

 

[dyna]

NO they do not but then my DD's do not get drunk either.

They grew up watching DH an I drinking some but we was never falling down drunk couldn't function drunk either.

As teens on Fri an Sat nights if they wanted a beer they was welcome to it. 1 did usually have 1 or 2 with dad but never got drunk. By the time the DD's was old enough to drive they was not interested in drinking an driving.

DD's are mid 30's now I don't think either one of them has ever been falling down drunk.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I've been drunk in front of my parents plenty of times. I think the more apt word would probably be tipsy--they've seen me actually drunk a few times (my 21st, some weddings), but we've been to plenty of parties, dinner or otherwise, where I'd have three glasses of wine over the course of the evening.

Never anything dangerous, scary or embarrassing, but plenty of warm memories.