Do your adult children get drunk in front of you?

[tvguy]

Mine are 22 and 26, and no, they haven't gotten drunk in front of DW and I. And they frequently go wine tasting with us.
22 year old DD stops drinking when she starts to feel a buzz, she hates that feeling.
26 DS has had too much to drink with his friends, and his girlfriend had to deal with the throwing up, not us. He didn't touch beer for 2 years after that.

 

[BGK]

I think all these leading and loaded questions about children drinking are really just ways for the various posters to express their puritanical disdain for those who drink alcohol to any degree. One can almost sense through the internet the self-satisfied sitting-up-straight.

Coming from a large Italian-Irish-American family, abstemiousness is a totally foreign concept. Beer, wine, and drink in its manifold forms was always a part of family get-togethers. It was neither shown off to, nor hidden from, the children and, with maybe two exceptions, none of us ended up with an addiction-prone personality. Maybe the fact that it wasn't "forbidden fruit" had something to do with that.

My mother is part of my extended Food and Wine Festival group. She doesn't drink much, but she finds funny those of us who do drink to the point of inebriation. We've done this for years now.

Alcohol is legal in the several states, and most citizens manage to enjoy it without endangering others. Which makes it bizarro-world for me that we keep re-litigating Prohibition ninety years on.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I have gotten tipsy in front of my mother- but only after I was 21... And oddly enough, I hate the tipsy feeling so much, that I rarely drink more than one drink.

My DS is 20, he spent his freshman and part of sophomore years in college as the designated sober- to make sure everyone got home safe. We've talked a lot about responsible drinking, and how I prefer he wait until he is 21- but he did come and tell me when he started drinking at parties in sophomore spring semester. He's such a type A personality, he strictly schedules his drinking to not interfere with homework, exams, quidditch practice, etc. So at Easter dinner, I offered him some wine, and he accepted- knocked it back, actually. Short conversation later, and we agreed that social drinking around mom is ok, but college varsity level drinking in front of mom is a no-no.

 

[crashbb]

Alcohol is legal in the several states, and most citizens manage to enjoy it without endangering others. Which makes it bizarro-world for me that we keep re-litigating Prohibition ninety years on.

Are there really states where it is NOT legal?

 

[mr.bungle]

I think all these leading and loaded questions about children drinking are really just ways for the various posters to express their puritanical disdain for those who drink alcohol to any degree. One can almost sense through the internet the self-satisfied sitting-up-straight.

Coming from a large Italian-Irish-American family, abstemiousness is a totally foreign concept. Beer, wine, and drink in its manifold forms was always a part of family get-togethers. It was neither shown off to, nor hidden from, the children and, with maybe two exceptions, none of us ended up with an addiction-prone personality. Maybe the fact that it wasn't "forbidden fruit" had something to do with that.

My mother is part of my extended Food and Wine Festival group. She doesn't drink much, but she finds funny those of us who do drink to the point of inebriation. We've done this for years now.

Alcohol is legal in the several states, and most citizens manage to enjoy it without endangering others. Which makes it bizarro-world for me that we keep re-litigating Prohibition ninety years on.

This. I think the OP wants to share their feeling of superior parenting skills with all of us. "Why, I never!" Everyone is different. Alcohol is legal why don't we get over it?

 

[BGK]

Are there really states where it is NOT legal?

No. "The several states" is a Revolutionary-era expression meaning, in effect, all the states currently in the Union. It's used many times in the U.S. Constitution.

I'm no Con. Law professor, but I don't think there's any really anything stopping a state from banning the consumption of alcohol. The 18th amendment allowed for national prohibition, and the 21st repealed that prohibition. Section 2 of the 21st amendment does say:

The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use therein of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.

Meaning, as I read it, if a state prohibits the manufacture or sale of alcohol, then it truly is prohibited, and nothing in federal law contravenes that.

Much of alcohol regulation in this country is left up to states and local governments. There are still counties and cities scattered around where there are baroque rules to try to prohibit alcohol sales.

 

[Jennasis]

DH and I don't drink (not any moral reason, we just don't like the way alcoholic beverages taste), but my parents do and so do both of my sisters. They drink together all the time. In fact, I did a video skype session with them on Friday and they were all drunk together, celebrating the engagement of my younger sister.

 

[curious3069]

My sisters, bros-in-law, and I are all over or almost 40, my parents enjoy wine with dinner, so yeah, we've all seen each other in various states of inebriation at one point or another. In fact at this point, we're all so over the age of legal does it even matter? Probably not.

If anyone was at Via Napoli in January 2013 we were the family that had a good time...a REAL good time. (And no, we were not loud or obnoxious) So good our waitress hugged my sister as we left and then the whole family danced to the band in the UK outdoor garden. My nieces thought this was the most fun ever and it was. Were any of us falling down drunk? Nope. I'd call it slightly more than tipsy and a Disney memory I wouldn't trade for anything.

That had nothing to do with the initial question really, but man, it was fun!

 

[sunshinehighway]

I think all these leading and loaded questions about children drinking are really just ways for the various posters to express their puritanical disdain for those who drink alcohol to any degree. One can almost sense through the internet the self-satisfied sitting-up-straight.

Coming from a large Italian-Irish-American family, abstemiousness is a totally foreign concept. Beer, wine, and drink in its manifold forms was always a part of family get-togethers. It was neither shown off to, nor hidden from, the children and, with maybe two exceptions, none of us ended up with an addiction-prone personality. Maybe the fact that it wasn't "forbidden fruit" had something to do with that.

My mother is part of my extended Food and Wine Festival group. She doesn't drink much, but she finds funny those of us who do drink to the point of inebriation. We've done this for years now.

Alcohol is legal in the several states, and most citizens manage to enjoy it without endangering others. Which makes it bizarro-world for me that we keep re-litigating Prohibition ninety years on.

Totally agree. I sense some pearl clutching too.

my mother and I have had great fun at Food and Wine. She's actually the one who ends up tipsy. She's a total lightweight. One margarita from the tequila bar and I have to stop her from buying stuff in all the stores. Don't drink and shop.

 

[ironpig70]

Personally I would rather have my kids get drunk with me long before they turn 21 or leave for college.

If they know how much it takes and how much it sucks then maybe that will be more careful/better prepared to leave the nest.

 

[RitaE]

Have they? yes

Does it happen on a frequent basis or particularly disturb me? Not really. I basically tell them they are going to regret it in the morning and they'd better not come complaining to me if they have a hangover.

 

[superme80]

I have only consumed alcohol in front of my parents a few times. My mom hates alcohol and does not understand my desire for a good stiff drink. My dad doesn't mind, but if my mom is there I would never order in front of her. I have had a beer or a wine cooler in front of my kids at a family bbq with my in laws. They are MUCH more relaxed about drinking. To answer the orginal question I have never been drunk in front of my parents.

 

[nuke]

My son is too young to drink in front of me but I have drank in front of my parents. Even been---gasp--- served by my dad. Holidays are the occasion to try out new concoctions and it takes several samplings to get them just right.

 

[LisaR]

I think all these leading and loaded questions about children drinking are really just ways for the various posters to express their puritanical disdain for those who drink alcohol to any degree. One can almost sense through the internet the self-satisfied sitting-up-straight.

Coming from a large Italian-Irish-American family, abstemiousness is a totally foreign concept. Beer, wine, and drink in its manifold forms was always a part of family get-togethers. It was neither shown off to, nor hidden from, the children and, with maybe two exceptions, none of us ended up with an addiction-prone personality. Maybe the fact that it wasn't "forbidden fruit" had something to do with that.

My mother is part of my extended Food and Wine Festival group. She doesn't drink much, but she finds funny those of us who do drink to the point of inebriation. We've done this for years now.

Alcohol is legal in the several states, and most citizens manage to enjoy it without endangering others. Which makes it bizarro-world for me that we keep re-litigating Prohibition ninety years on.

Interesting perspective. I can only speak for myself and say that I only have "puritanical disdain" for those who drink in EXCESS. While some may have the same disdain for "those who drink alcohol to any degree," that doesn't describe me. If it did, I would have to have puritanical disdain for me and DH and even my 18 y/o DD. I admit to having a very low tolerance for those who spend every weekend getting drunk. I've moved past that. I've had friends that I have distanced myself from because that is all they want to do every single weekend. It gets old.

I posted about the person on FB taking their DD on a vacation and being drunk the entire time. It was like that was their goal. They only posted about one activity they did where they actually went out and did something that didn't involve being drunk. The rest of the time seemed to be entirely about the booze. I honestly find that odd. They seemed to find it hysterical. I guess different strokes for different folks.

We will be heading out to a friend's place tonight where we will all have a few glasses of wine or beer, play some games, be loud, laugh often, have some great conversation, and nobody will end up puking, slobbering on others, documenting it on FB, or hungover the next day. If that makes me "self-satisfied sitting up straight" so be it.

 

[TheRose227]

Personally I would rather have my kids get drunk with me long before they turn 21 or leave for college.

If they know how much it takes and how much it sucks then maybe that will be more careful/better prepared to leave the nest.

All my aunts and uncles on my dad's side and my parents did this. When we all went to school sure we drank, but nobody was taken to the hospital. We all knew our limits before the whole college thing started.

One uncle and aunt who have the youngest (13, 11 and twin 9 year-olds) didn't like when we would underage drink around their kids. My uncle thought it would make them want to drink. They have far more interest in alcohol because it is some big secret.

I have been drunk with my parents before. My mom isn't a big drinker, but my dad's family is. We're all adults, sometimes you're having fun and you just drink. My dad took me out for my 21st and made me do shots of Jameson. Honestly, one of the best nights of my life and a memory I'm going to cherish forever. We had a great time together in what was a very awful year for our family. He also went out with all my friends the night before graduation. Everyone was buying HIM drinks.

 

[kimblebee]

I have been drunk in front of my parents and my sister has and so have my brothers. I have seen my parents drunk too. Not falling down drunk, but enough so I could tell they were enjoying themselves. My youngest brother is hilarious when he's drunk. Last time I saw it was after my sisters wedding. He did an awesome solo of when a man loves a woman in the car on the way home. It's my daughters favourite memory of Unkie T.


I think all the parents who say my kids don't drink are in for a shock.

 

[pat fan]

I think all these leading and loaded questions about children drinking are really just ways for the various posters to express their puritanical disdain for those who drink alcohol to any degree. One can almost sense through the internet the self-satisfied sitting-up-straight.

I didn't get that vibe from anyone, but good to know you're right there in the middle of the judgmental crowd No matter what side of the fence you're on, judgmental is judgmental.

 

[shortbun]

This. I think the OP wants to share their feeling of superior parenting skills with all of us. "Why, I never!" Everyone is different. Alcohol is legal why don't we get over it?

OP here. I was talking about parents condoning their 21yo daughter getting trashed, sloppy drunk. Yep, my parenting skills are superior to that. Sorry if I hit a nerve and you enjoy getting faced with your kids but for me it's a sad thing to watch especially when the parents are bragging about it. Seems you and some others were offended by my post. I just can't apologize for it.
For the record, I drink and I got drunk when I was younger but NOT with my parents or their friends. They DID get plenty drunk in front of me on many occasions. I hated that too.

 

[themilesfamily]

My husband, his father and his brother are all recovering alcoholics and very involved in AA. So there are no alcoholic drinks at any of our celebrations.

I have a glass of wine, maybe every other month.

DD, age 9, will probably be encouraged to avoid alcohol altogether because of the alcoholism that runs in the family.

Not much partying going on here in the Miles household. Sorry!

I don't care what other people choose to do, as long as they don't drive drunk and are safe when they are intoxicated. But I also don't find drunk people amusing or funny. It's just not my scene.

 

[curious3069]

There isn't really any condoning if a 21 year old gets drunk though. Legal adult, a 21 year old can do that. You can tout your superior parenting skills all you want, but I'm not really sure whether a legal adult overindulges in front of their parents has anything to do with that. Perhaps I just don't see that connection, however, between parenting skills and whether your adult child drinks in front of you? (Here's my dirty secret, sometimes I have a beer with my GRANDMA, oh the horror. She's 89 and still enjoys a nice cold one.) I guess, however, if my parents did drink to the point of excess when I was a child and those memories affected me into adulthood, I would be viewing alcohol consumption thru a different lens than I do.

Just another one of those things where there isn't a right or wrong answer, just the answer that is different for everyone. Live and let live and don't drink and drive!