Do you visit your inlaws without your spouse?

[wendy46001]

They live local, but no I don't hang out with them on my own. We don't go to their home as they let DHs problem brother live with them and he smokes in the house. So if they want to spend time with us/kids they come to us (they are always welcome at our place). His family isn't really close and he only talks to his siblings maybe once a year. My family we talk/text daily (its one of the things he loves about my side)

Now if DH answered it would be yes. He just did a guys weekend with my brothers and used to go fishing with my dad all the time before he passed.

 

[nkereina]

My in-laws are in the same city, about 20 mins away. But there are times I go to their house or see them without DH. They have a pool, so I'll frequently go to their house and use it without DH. In the winter, I will go with MIL and SILs to arts & craft shows and go out for lunch.

My parents live an hour away, but DH has actually gone and stayed with them when I was hosting an overnight bachelorette party at our house once. He wanted to be out of our way (and probably away from the noise), and my parents love to see him, so he drove to their house and they went out for dinner and drinks and he crashed on their couch for the night. Drove home the next day.

We're pretty fortunate that we each get along with each other's families so well. I don't take it for granted.

 

[wenrob]

My MIL and I were friends. We would go to yard sales and estate sales, do lunch and talk on the phone for hours. She was a very stiff person (until my DD came along) so I would not call us close but we were friends of a sort. Of all the parents she was the most respectful of DH and I as parents and that was something that really made me appreciate her. I wish my younger kids could have known her.

My husband's Aunt, his grandma and the cousins from that Aunt (save for one but we won't go there) absolutely. They are some of the kindest people I've ever met. We live pretty far apart though so it's unlikely I'd go without the hubby just because he'd want to see them too.

DH's mom's side the same but we also live far away so it's unlikely to happen.

DH's Dad, nope, no way, no how. This is a man who would show up at my door unannounced after a 9 hour drive to stay so of course DH would not be able to get time off of work. Imagine feeling like you have to entertain someone who won't speak to you for hours on end. So yeah, no.

DH sees my parents more often than I do, haha. He always says my Dad picked up where his left off. At going on 27years it's just a family relationship not an in law relationship.

 

[NMAmy]

My ex's parents live about an hour away and they'll stop over when they're in town for dinner with DH and I. It used to be to see DD but she's grown up and moved away several years ago. We like them--they're nice people and I've known them since I was 21.

DH's family all lives in the UK so we're always there together. If we weren't though, I would absolutely visit and stay with them on my own. His parents have died but I would have visited them on my own, as well. I'm lucky--I like his family very much and I think they like me, too.

 

[wenrob]

My in-laws are in the same city, about 20 mins away. But there are times I go to their house or see them without DH. They have a pool, so I'll frequently go to their house and use it without DH. In the winter, I will go with MIL and SILs to arts & craft shows and go out for lunch.

My parents live an hour away, but DH has actually gone and stayed with them when I was hosting an overnight bachelorette party at our house once. He wanted to be out of our way (and probably away from the noise), and my parents love to see him, so he drove to their house and they went out for dinner and drinks and he crashed on their couch for the night. Drove home the next day.

We're pretty fortunate that we each get along with each other's families so well. I don't take it for granted.

This reminded me. My grandma lived about 2 hours away and there was this band my DH would go see in her town. He would go early, take her to dinner, go to the show then sit and talk with her for a couple hours after. He'd spend the night and she'd make him breakfast before he came home. She loved it, she just adored him.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

I use to visit the in-laws without my husband all the time. However, the past 9 years I have not gone and we no longer talked to his mom. We would love to have a relationship with his mom, but she refuses to not abuse our children.

 

[minnie mum]

Good lord no. Fortunately they all live a long ways away from us. Some of them I like just fine. Others, ( like my MIL ) not so much. But I have very little in common with any of them, other than DH of course. I'm happy to accompany DH any time he wants to visit with them, or to have them visit us.

 

[leebee]

I flew from Maine to Ohio this summer to visit my mother-in-law. We have a great relationship even though we live so far apart. While at DH's family's annual 4th of July reunion in Indiana this summer, I realized that I'd spent very little time visiting with my MIL, so we (she and I) decided I needed to go visit. Two weeks later, there I was in Ohio! It was a great week, just hanging out at my MIL's, talking, staying up half the night, sleeping in late, going for drives, visiting SILs/BILs, nieces and nephews. I stayed for 5 nights and had a wonderful time. I just wished we all lived closer to each other.

 

[Kitty 34]

Yes I have........ when they were alive. They lived less than a mile from us.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Absoutely! My dh's family lives nearby. Until she passed away last year, MIL lived 2 miles away and visited often. Didn't matter to any of us if my dh was home or not. (My FIL passed before I was married.) I see dh's sisters and the niece/nephews with my ds and without dh often.

Now if you asked my dh that question he'd say 'Hell no!!!!'. LOL

 

[smiths02]

Yes. My DH and I have been together since 1997 (I was 16), married in 2002. He was in boot camp in 2001 and deployed in 2003. His parents were my support because they live about 3 hours away while my family is across country. I saw them often. I'm an only child with an absent father, and he is an only child. His parents are pretty much parents to me as well.
And now we have children (ages 9, 3, 3), so grandparents (and other in-laws) want to visit with them whether or not DH is there.
I also just like my MIL and would hang out with her as enjoyable company. (My FIL is a great guy as well, he's just very outdoorsy/hunt/fix stuff/watch sports kind of guy and I'm not into that stuff, so I probably wouldn't just go hang out with him or call him on the phone to chat)
I know I am lucky to have such a relationship, and I hope that I can control my crazy enough to have a good relationship with my kids' spouses when they grow up.

 

[pryncess527]

Divorced parents I could understand favoring one over the other or liking and spending time with your FIL but not MIL or vice versa or with siblings but not parents etc. I just never get people that spend 0 time with their significant others family with out their SO unless of course the SO doesn't care for their family either.

My mom is practically my best friend, but I struggle to think of a time in the last 16 years that she's spent any amount of time with my husband without me present. They get along, she adores him and he appreciates what an amazing mother/MIL she is, but I can't even think of what circumstance would drive them to spend time together without me present. He wouldn't be averse to the idea, there's just never any cause . . .

I guess if we had kids it'd be more likely that he'd take the kids to grandma's house for an afternoon without me or something. But my mom and husband aren't like to go out to dinner together, or go see a movie, or watch a football game just as social buddies ;p

 

[Gracie09]

Divorced parents I could understand favoring one over the other or liking and spending time with your FIL but not MIL or vice versa or with siblings but not parents etc. I just never get people that spend 0 time with their significant others family with out their SO unless of course the SO doesn't care for their family either.

My dh loves my family and will visit them without me. In fact last spring he helped my sister remodel a bathroom and spent several weekend out there without me. My in laws are not people I will spend time with

 

[bethy]

This thread is reminding me of something that has gradually occurred to me over the past few years: to thoroughly enjoy my children now while they are young because you never know what will happen once they are grown and have left the nest. This is not a slam on anyone in any way. It's just reality sometimes. My brother was super close with our whole family until about 4 years ago when he got married in his mid thirties. We basically never hear from him or see him anymore. That are lots of small reasons and fault on both sides but nothing major or devastating happened. I wouldn't call any of us toxic in any way. Just a normal family.

He had a happy childhood, my parents are very sweet but he has just moved on with his life. I even can respect his choice because it's his to make. But it makes me and my parents very sad. It's just the way it is sometimes.

 

[loves to dive]

My first marriage my MIL babysat my son while I worked so yes, when I got home from work I usually ate supper with her before going home (ex worked 2nd shift). With my current, like some others I don't even go half the time when DH goes, heck DH doesn't even go but once every 2 or 3 years and they only live 3 hours away from us. They are just weird, I guess DH didn't notice it when he lived there, or maybe he did which is why he went to the University of Georgia and never moved back. I've told him time and again, I love him but if he ever decides he wants to move there I'm not going. He even inherited some land there that he just signed over to his brother as soon as he got it. I like them well enough and we get along, they are just loud and don't really think before they say something.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks everyone for sharing!

I think I sort of just forced my way into my in-laws and developed a relationship. My husband was not very close with his family when we married but his deployments were hard on both myself and his family. He would call me and I would call them as a courtesy for updates. I remember the first time I went to visit without him. He was deployed and it was Thanksgiving. They were so confused why I was there and I said hey I married him, you got me. You're getting a better bargain.

 

[theworldneedscolor]

Not married yet, so I can't give my own personal opinion, but I can tell you about m parent's.

When my dad's parents were alive, they lived about a two day drive from us so we didn't see them much. We did take one trip there without my dad when we were kids because he was working. And while we were on trips with him, we would do girls things with just my grandma, aunts and my mom. So they weren't super close but definitely were comfortable doing things without my dad.

My mom's dad lives about a day and a half's drive away, so we also don't see him or his wife too often. He is also pretty unwell. He and my dad are on good terms, but don't have much of a relationship. I know my dad would go down there with my sister or I, but not just on his own.

Now, my mom's mom and husband, as well as her two brothers and their families, live very close to us (15 min drive for my grandparents, aunts/uncles 45-75 minutes away). My dad was a good relationship with all of them, and has done things without my mom (with/without me and my sister). For example, he'll sometimes go up to my uncle's house for a football game, or go to my grandparent's house to help them with their computer. I love the relationship that my mom's side of the family has!

 

[MrsDuck]

An opportunity hasn't arisen for me to spend time with them without DH but I would!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Dh would because he knows my mom very well I would not because I don't know his mom as well.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I spent time with my in-laws without my ex when we were married, and even after we split up. His sister & I are still close and do things together. I sometimes have "my" nephews for the weekend. If his mother didn't live so far away I'd spend time with her, too. When his grandparents were alive, I'd always stop by and visit them in Fresno on our way home from Yosemite.