Totally agree with this. I wouldn't have married my DH if I didn't really really like his family, too. For me, that was/is the way it needed to be.
Totally agree with this. I wouldn't have married my DH if I didn't really really like his family, too. For me, that was/is the way it needed to be.
I'm packing today to go see my in-laws for a long weekend. My sister in law is having her first baby and first baby shower this weekend. I wanted to make sure she felt we were also celebrating with her. My husband is out of country(naturally) so I'm flying from the 90 degrees of the desert to the cold to me Chicago.
I'm fortunate I have a great relationship with my SIL and though my MIL is a loon she is tolerable. It was always important to me to cultivate this relationship with my inlaws because my husband loves them. He has always been kind and helpful to my side of the family and I want to extend the same to his.
So do you visit with your in-laws without your spouse?
Sounds like my DH and his mom. I tolerate her for the kids, I want them to know their grandmother. When she visits, DH makes himself scarce most of the time.I've probably spent more time with my MIL and FIL that DH has this year. And every year since we've been married.
We both have a great relationship with his dad.
My husband and his mother do not have a strong relationship (for good reasons), so most of our contact with her is initiated by me, and I have on occasion visited her alone when I was in town for other reasons. I get along with her fine -- I think she's acutely aware that without me she'd never see or hear from her son.
It would be nice if we had a more Brady-Bunch existence with the family, but it is what it is. I certainly was not going to refuse to marry the love of my life because he could have a better mom![]()
I've probably spent more time with my MIL and FIL that DH has this year. And every year since we've been married.
We both have a great relationship with his dad.
My husband and his mother do not have a strong relationship (for good reasons), so most of our contact with her is initiated by me, and I have on occasion visited her alone when I was in town for other reasons. I get along with her fine -- I think she's acutely aware that without me she'd never see or hear from her son.
It would be nice if we had a more Brady-Bunch existence with the family, but it is what it is. I certainly was not going to refuse to marry the love of my life because he could have a better mom![]()
Divorced parents I could understand favoring one over the other or liking and spending time with your FIL but not MIL or vice versa or with siblings but not parents etc. I just never get people that spend 0 time with their significant others family with out their SO unless of course the SO doesn't care for their family either.
In my case, it is a combination of distance (4500 km) and desire. My inlaws are divorced and both live in Ontario so it is a fair distance to see them and with the exception of that one trip a few years ago that DH could not go on, it would be odd for me to fly out to see them without him.
The other part of it is that I just don't really like some of my inlaws and that's okay. Just because I married my husband does not mean I am obliged to like his entire family. I love one of the SIL's and if she lived in the same city, I would absolutely see her as often as I could, with or without DH.
Like we always tell our son: You have every right not to like someone, no one can force you to be friends with them. You DO however have to be polite to them and to respect their feelings.