Do you visit the cemetery?

[Gumbo4x4]

Somewhat of a spinoff question.

I do not. And I guess it's for this reason I don't plan to be buried.

 

[SirDuff]

Yes. We go to the cemetery to put flowers on my mum's grave on Mother's Day, her birthday, and the anniversary of the day that she died.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

This is an interesting question. You should make a poll.

DH grew up in a small town, rural area. He and his family place flowers on everyone's graves for many holidays.

I grew up in a city urban area. My parents never visited their parents's graves, but they were all out of state. My father died in 1996 and I was only back twice until my mother passed in January. I don't think she ever went.

My mother always felt that a person's body was buried but they were no longer there. (Don't want to turn this religious.)

So to answer the question.....no.

 

[mom2rtk]

We visit my husband's mom and dad's graves each Memorial Day.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I was just in Arkansas visiting my mom this weekend and we did decoration as well. We go out to the family plot and make sure everything is clean and nice and then we lay new flowers for the plots there. I've been doing this since I was a little girl. I can imagine as an old lady I'll still be doing it.

 

[scrapquitler]

Rarely, maybe once or twice a year. I go to put flowers or make sure the stones are okay (when I was there recently, I found that an uncle's footstone is missing...I"m working on getting at straightened out now).

I have a friend that visits her Dad's grave 2-3 times a week. I just don't see the point of that.

 

[quandrea]

Never. Closest deceased relatives are all four grandparents. I just hold the belief that they aren't there. They are in my heart and memories and I can be close with them any time I want.

 

[Robinrs]

No because they're not there.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm an odd duck, I guess. I graduated from high school with a guy who was killed in Afghanistan. Whenever I go back to my hometown, I visit his grave. I don't visit my relatives' graves, though, but that is probably because I am never in the same town where they are buried. So, yes I visit the cemetery, but not to visit the graves of family and just to visit one grave.

 

[LBIJim]

I go 4 or 5 times a year to visit my parents' grave. Many other relatives are in the same cemetery and I'll sometimes stop by their graves as well. Brother died a little over a year ago. He's in a cemetery much farther away. I've only visited once since his funeral, at Christmas time.

DW hasn't been to her parents' grave since her father died 2 1/2 years ago. In fact, she hasn't even gotten around to having his name etched onto the stone yet.

Jim

 

[usd2bmd]

Both of my parents were entombed in mausoleums. I go a couple times a year to talk to her when I have something I want to tell her. Do I know she isn't there anymore? Yes, of course.. But sometimes that is where I feel closest to her so that is where I go. Other times I talk to her at home or in the car or wherever the feeling strikes me.

Sometimes I will talk to her when I see a cardinal because they were her favorite bird.

 

[Mom_Rides]

I go probably 4-6 times a year. I go mostly to visit my grandfather. I go and pull weeds around his stone, place flowers around special occasions, and make sure everything is in place. I always talk to my Papa and tell him about how DD is growing (although I'm sure he knows!)

My other grandfather and my great grandparents are at the same cemetery and very close to where my Papa is laid. So when I go I always acknowledge them as well. But I wouldn't make a special visit if they weren't so close (think the other side of the little road).

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I visited my grandparents' graves a few years ago. I don't know what compelled me to go, but I felt like I should.

My dad's ashes are sitting on my mom's fireplace at home. I don't like that.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

My mother passed about 18 months ago. I've gone a few times - Around Christmas to put down a grave blanket, and on her birthday. I don't like to go. My father goes often, and tells me he doesn't like going, says its very hard for him. I ask him Why do you go then?? Just talk to her at home - If shes anywhere, shes home with you, not in a grave yard!
I didn't go on Mothers Day... I kinda feel bad about it, but I know in my heart, that she knows I was thinking about her. <3

 

[Disneylover99]

I stop in and visit my mom's grave a couple of times a year.

I also drive by the cemetery several times per year (en route to somewhere else). If I'm driving by I always wave hello and if my kids are with me they roll down the windows and yell, HI NANNY!!!

 

[doxdogy]

No. Both of my parents are gone. When my dad passed, that was the first time I had seen my mother's since she passed. Went to dad's when his headstone was installed, haven't been back since.

 

[MIGrandma]

I do.

I actually enjoy walking in our local cemetery. Lots of small roads, very quiet and peaceful, rarely encounter a car. Most of the time I start out in the park which is right beside the cemetery and they have a very nice walking path that is at least a mile around. I go all the way back, cross over the railroad track, and walk the roads in the cemetery, cross back over to the park and finish up there.

And I stop and "visit" my Dad while I'm there as well. He passed away in January 2008. I always stand at his gravestone for a bit, maybe pull a few weeds, adjust the flag and/or flowers, etc. and then I kiss my fingers and touch them to the top of his gravestone and tell him I love him.

We visit DH's Mom's grave occasionally, and my grandparents' graves as well.

I don't care if I'm buried or not when I die. Whatever my family chooses to do will be fine. I'll be dead. Why should I care? It's whatever makes THEM the most comfortable that matters to me. DH and I do have a 5-grave plot already (only cost us $100 probably 30 years ago) but not sure if we'll be buried there or not. DH doesn't care either. I've thought about cremation if he passes before me, but our DS isn't comfortable with that so I'm not sure...

 

[antmaril]

Yes, I visit the cemetery a few times during the year. My husband, my parents and my father-in-law are all in the same cemetery. My parents are buried (I put fresh flowers on my mother's grave for Mother's Day). My husband was cremated and he is in a niche in a mausoleum, as is my FIL.

My husband's niche has a small vase attached to it and I change out the silk flowers for the different seasons. It doesn't upset me to go to the cemetery because I know he is not really there, but, of course, his name is on the granite and it gives me some comfort to go. My name is on the granite, too. Doesn't bother me a bit.

 

[PeterPanic]

I used to go to my parents grave on Memorial Day each year, but, at the time I lived within 30 miles from it. Now I live close to 1000 miles away, so the visits have stopped. I never got much out of it except for relieving guilt planted by my mother about visiting her.

 

[JVL1018]

My mom died 10 years ago and I've never been back to her grave.
My husband's father and brother go visit his moms grave(and the grandparents/aunts/uncles etc.) he doesn't feel any need to go, but sometimes he'll go if he feels like his dad wants him to. He's taken our kids.
His mom is buried in a more interesting place, cool headstones. Mine is buried in a cemetary where you can only have the flat markers, no stones. So it's not even interesting to go and look around.