Do you visit the cemetery?

[AnnaS]

My dad, my sister, my fil, my bil are in mausoleums and one other bil in a grave. We tape cards, palm cross, a flower, etc. on the mausoleums of my dad and my sister. Sometimes on the ground/bench across it. My fil you can't place anything on it. The grave of course, we can put anything we want.

We visit a few times a year. It does not have to fall on the exact date - anniversary of death, birthday, Father's day, etc. Close to it. We do visit a few times a year. I think about all of them all the time and not one day goes by that I do not think of my sister. I still cry as soon as I think about her.

They all passed within 18 months of each other recently. It brings me comfort to visit. I know it's just a shell there and it does not take too much of my time.

 

[polineedyan]

Not often. I grew up about 30 minutes from where I currently live. My dad was the first to be buried, about 30 years ago. We went to visit him, quite a bit. My grandparents followed, same cemetery, but we had moved by then, so notsomuch. Since them, my nephew and brother have been interred there as well. We make our rounds with the kids maybe twice a year. Its more for the lesson learned than to actually 'visit.' We dont encourage any action, like talking to the headstones or anything like that. Its just to kinda let the kids know that things arent permanent, and life does end. Its to pay respect, but as many have said, "they arent there."
I used to work there (whole other story..) so I know the sexton very well. He knows what graves are my family, and I believe they pay them special attention. They are 'home' with 'friends' so, there's no need to be checking in on them. They didnt spend their time with me going around checking on dead people, so Im sure they dont expect that of us!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

No. I've been to my grandparents' and godmother's graves, and I don't feel a connection there. I feel the connection when I'm doing something that brings back a memory of them, like when I rock my DD to sleep in my grandmother's rocking chair.

 

[MrsDuck]

My grandparents are buried in WV. When we go to WV we typically pay a visit to the cemetery.

My parents want to be buried; they'll be buried locally. I'm sure I'll visit on occasion.

 

[Flamingeaux]

I went by Mothers Day and "talked" to my mom.

 

[Annadesu]

I have never been a fan of visiting graves, however, I understand why people do. The remains are there, and that is all that is left of the person in the physical world. Some people feel comfort knowing that, and like to be close to them in some way. Some people believe that it is a good place to speak with the spirit of the person who passed away. Really, cemeteries are more for the living than they are for the dead.

 

[Stitch69]

I run thru a cemetery every morning.

 

[minnie mum]

No. My mother died in Dec. and we will be interring her ashes next month. But the cemetery is on the other side of the country, so I don't forsee the likelihood of visiting there again either.

 

[Minnesota!]

Yes, we go frequently. My dad is buried at the national cemetery, and they have a huge hill at the back that overlooks the airport. so we go out there most weekends in the summer and visit and then climb the hill and have a picnic. It's very relaxing and beautiful.

DH's parents - we visit them a few times a year. He might go more often on his own - he works right by there.

And then the cemetery where my paternal grandparents are buried - yes, we go somewhat frequently.

My maternal grandparents are buried in Cincy, and I have only been there once.

I find peace and calm and clarity when I am in a cemetery. It's soothing for me to be "with" the person - particulary my dad and grandparents.

 

[Arielle22]

We visit twice a year and put fresh flowers. My parents are buried with my paternal grandparents and other relatives are close by.

My ILs are buried next to my MIL's parents in a cemetery about 40 minutes away. MIL passed away in March so this Memorial Day will be tough when we visit.

We used to visit the cemetery where my mother's family was buried but the neighborhood has gotten very dangerous. When we go there, my husband and BIL (who is a cop so he carries his personal gun) would watch the area while we tended the graves.

DH and I have talked about where we want to be buried. I joke we need to get the family to by plots next to each other in the cemetery where my parents are buried so the children (DDs, nieces and nephews) can visit everyone at the same time.

 

[kkandaj]

My birthday is Memorial Day and I would always spend the night with my grandparents as a special treat. Each year for my birthday, we walked through the cemetary because it's very important to my grandfather. It was so weird to me as a child.

We also rent the Lions Club buidling for Easter Sunday dinner every year which is right by the cemetery. My kids love to walk through there as most of my maternal family (great aunts/uncles, etc) are burried there. The headstone for my grandparents is there with their names on it though they haven't passed yet.

For the past 10 or so years, my grandfather has been making iron shepard's hooks for veterans and placing them at their graves. He is up to placing 40 shepards hooks/potted flowers on veterans graves for Memorial Day in 9 seperate cemeteries. The families of the veterans love that he does this and he takes a lot of pride in it. He has everything written down in a notebook with pictures of each shepard's hook and each grave so that we can take over when he passes. He has been diagnosed with dementia so he says this may be his last year.

I guess I should start liking cemeteries.

 

[Andtototoo]

No. It's not meaningful at all to me.

I would prefer that I be cremated and my ashes scattered over the ocean. However, I've also told my family to do what brings them the most comfort as my feelings on the matter are irrelevant after I'm dead.

 

[Pembo]

Not cemetery people.

 

[minkydog]

No. It's not meaningful at all to me.

I would prefer that I be cremated and my ashes scattered over the ocean. However, I've also told my family to do what brings them the most comfort as my feelings on the matter are irrelevant after I'm dead.

DH and I plan to be cremated, as well. I decided on cremation when I read a Reader's Digest article about it when I was 10. My mother was horrified, but I was firm. She's still horrified and of course, we will honor her wishes to be buried when the time comes.

I have talked with my two older kids about our wishes to be cremated and our ashes scattered up in the North Georgia mountains at a beloved campground that we've been going to forever. We have many good memories there. They are uncomfortable with the conversation now, but I think when they see how much funeral and burial plots cost they will be glad we made that decision. And hopefully, they will come "see" us from time to time when they go camping.

 

[Robinrs]

No.

My grandparents are buried over 2,000 miles away. My parents were given plots in the mid-west where I know absolutely no one and will never visit......they still plan to be buried there, their choice, I have tried to discourage it, but they won't budge........told them it will be as much to ship their bodies there than to just buy plots near them.

However, I always thought that if I lost an immediate family member and buried him here, I would have a hard time moving away, particularly a child. (not trying to be too morbid but a friend just lost her 5 year old son so it is heavily on my mind at the moment.)

Dawn

My son is buried in Brooklyn but he is with me everywhere I go, in my heart and in Heaven.

 

[luvwinnie]

I visit my mom's several times a year. And I find cemeteries to be very peaceful.

 

[Diane]

I, too, find cemeteries very peaceful. Until recently, I visited my Dad's grave at least once a week -- in good weather, anyway. The cemetery was very close to my home, so I would stop in on my way to or from some place. I would sometimes drive around and look at the very old grave stones -- they're so cool! Now that I've moved to Florida, I won't be able to do that. Hopefully, I'll make it back there at least once a year, and I'll visit family graves when I go.

 

[North of Mouse]

Yes, I do - also, siblings and I keep 'fresh' silk flowers on Dads, Moms, twin infant sisters, and sister and husband's graves. Fresh 'real' flowers sometimes.

It is a 'family/community' cemetery and we know most of the ones that have been buried there - just a continued sense of caring and peace to us.

 

[JessicaR]

No because they're not there.

This would be my response as well.

 

[Disney Doll]

I do go because it brings me some comfort. Plus I like to make sure their graves look nice.