Do you vacation when you have bills?

[luvsJack]

That is the biggest problem with working evenings. My wife sees her kids a total of an hour and 10 minutes per day. An hour is spent in the morning getting them ready for school, and they get off the bus at 4:05 and she leaves for work at 4:15.

If you work during school hours, then you end up being the reason for my issue and my kids missing the maximum days allowed because they are sick from all the other kids being sent to school sick when they should be home.[/QUOTE]

HUH??? I don't understand what a working mother or father has to do with your kids missing too many days?

 

[Colleen27]

If you work during school hours, then you end up being the reason for my issue and my kids missing the maximum days allowed because they are sick from all the other kids being sent to school sick when they should be home.

HUH??? I don't understand what a working mother or father has to do with your kids missing too many days?

I think he's talking about the tendency of working parents to be more reluctant to keep sick kids home. Not all do this, but many don't have adequate back-up plans and end up sending the kids to school "just a little sick" rather than taking time off, particularly when the job is the sort of "mother's hours" positions that offer little more than minimum wage with no benefits or leave time.

 

[tiggspring]

I think he's talking about the tendency of working parents to be more reluctant to keep sick kids home. Not all do this, but many don't have adequate back-up plans and end up sending the kids to school "just a little sick" rather than taking time off, particularly when the job is the sort of "mother's hours" positions that offer little more than minimum wage with no benefits or leave time.

Plus many places like Walmart threaten to fire you for any time off. I know our walmart here does that and when I worked for AT+T many years ago we had lots of sick time but if you ever used it you prety much knew you were put on notice regarding job security. I grew up in NE and this is common on the coasts the further south and west you go the more employers tend to be family friendly. (I live in West PA now and have lived in WV, RI, MA and CT)

 

[Green Tea]

Bills or debt? Bills come every month. Unless you prepaid everything for a year, there is not avoiding bills.

 

[luvsJack]

I think he's talking about the tendency of working parents to be more reluctant to keep sick kids home. Not all do this, but many don't have adequate back-up plans and end up sending the kids to school "just a little sick" rather than taking time off, particularly when the job is the sort of "mother's hours" positions that offer little more than minimum wage with no benefits or leave time.

oh, good grief.

 

[mrodgers]

Good grief? The school doesn't send letters home nearly every month as constant reminders telling the parents that they MUST keep their kids home when they are fevered or throwing up for nothing. Our school is full of fevered and throwing up kids because there are no parents home to tend to a sick kid at home.

 

[luvsJack]

Your school may be full of fevered kids and there may be sick kids sent to school, but its up to the school to send them home. And I would bet you that a large portion of those kids have sahps.

We have kids coming to school sick too but more times than not its a parent who believes in 100% attendance above all else. Or a kid with a bit of perfectionism that thinks they cannot miss school.

I have always been a working mom and I have always worked during school hours. There isn't another alternative. I don't send my kids to school sick and going by my friends on facebook and my co-workers, neither does anyone I know.

It is not always possible or feasible for one parent to work at night/one day or for one to stay home.

NONE of this has anything to do with the OP's question. She didn't actually ask how to get the money to go to Disney or how to pay off her debt. But for you to make a statement that seems to mean that all mothers should either stay home or work when the children's fathers are at home is just ludacris not to mention impossible.

 

[LovableGluttons]

Bills I will always have, but I am completely free of debt.

DH and I pay cash for everything, no loans or credit cards, no mortgage on our home. We save for every large purchase. We both have college degrees, both have careers, I even worked several jobs when DH retired from the military until he secured employment.

My children are rarely ill, so I don't send them to school sick. If they were to fall ill, either DH or I would take time off work to care for them.

 

[ccgirl]

Good grief? The school doesn't send letters home nearly every month as constant reminders telling the parents that they MUST keep their kids home when they are fevered or throwing up for nothing. Our school is full of fevered and throwing up kids because there are no parents home to tend to a sick kid at home.

Don't be so sure it's because there are no parents to tend to them at home. Funny thing is; most of the students in my DD's class that go to school sick are from SAH parents. This is their "time off" or; they have things scheduled etc. Then, I need to take a sick day from my job when my DD gets sick. Kids get sick. It is a way or life. Deal with it. I have a new job and have 16 days total off from work. That is sick, vacation and personal. I have reserved 4 of those days in case my DD gets sick and I have to stay home with her. My DH also reserves 4 days as well. Dealing with sick children is just part of parenthood. Being SAH or WOH does not matter.

 

[palavra]

Yes, we take vacations when we have bills and debt. We try to do things with moderation and reality in mind. It is very unlikely that we will be totally debt free, i.e. mortgage and car payments during our daughter's childhood years. So, we choose to take vacations that fit our budget. We don't use credit for vacations.

 

[crisi]

If you work during school hours, then you end up being the reason for my issue and my kids missing the maximum days allowed because they are sick from all the other kids being sent to school sick when they should be home.

Really?, I work during school hours, but amazingly, my kids don't go to school when they are sick. Both my husband and I can work from home, and for those days when we need to be somewhere, there is grandma. And now, they are old enough that if they are not so sick they need to be attended, but too sick to be in school, they can be home alone.

There are dozens of working situations out there - and few things in life that are so conveniently black and white as "if you work during school hours, then you'll send your kids to school when they are ill."

 

[DisMN]

Yes, we take vacations when we have bills and debt. We try to do things with moderation and reality in mind. It is very unlikely that we will be totally debt free, i.e. mortgage and car payments during our daughter's childhood years. So, we choose to take vacations that fit our budget. We don't use credit for vacations.

^^ This ^^

Exactly this.

 

[JamesMom]

LOL - threads like these are so entertaining! Everybody gets on their high horse and looks down on others who have a different way of living. As for our household, I'm a stay at home mom to a special needs son and an active cub scout.
Hat's off to y'all 2 parent working households. I haven't the foggiest how you do it without going crazy or hiring a maid/cook/chauffer/etc. I worked before having kids and my husband & I vied for time to vent about our demanding jobs. Now, he can focus on his job and I can focus on mine and leave the bickering at the door. Do we have hard days - of course, but we have the reserves and relaxation to meet them instead moving from one job to another (ie, 10 hours at work to housework & homework, etc).I am imensely thankful that his salary is enough to carry us without pinching too many pennies. This works for us. Your mileage may vary.
BTW - for all those who say that there is plenty of time to work while the kids are in school. My kids are schedule to be in class 177 days a year - or roughly 36 weeks. What do you do with other days? - it might be tough to find childcare for the time they are NOT in school ie, summer/winter/spring breaks, half days, inservice days, holidays etc, not to mention the inevitable sick days & parent conferences (esp with a special needs child). You need a super flexible job to accomodate all that. My field was IT - such a job probably doesn't exist unless I start my own consulting company.
Lastly, I totally agree with the dual philosophy of save for tomorrow while living for today. Nobody knows what will happen. I lost my dad when I was 15 and my mom this past Feb. Prepare for the future and enjoy today.

 

[tlbwriter]

BTW - for all those who say that there is plenty of time to work while the kids are in school. My kids are schedule to be in class 177 days a year - or roughly 36 weeks. What do you do with other days? - it might be tough to find childcare for the time they are NOT in school ie, summer/winter/spring breaks, half days, inservice days, holidays etc, not to mention the inevitable sick days & parent conferences (esp with a special needs child). You need a super flexible job to accomodate all that.

Yes, you do need a flexible job. Some parents are lucky enough to get a job at the school, so they're generally off when the kids are off. Another option is a shift at a flexible employer such as food service or retail. I know when I was in college, I had no problem saying "these are the only hours I can work." I don't know why a parent couldn't do the same thing for a part-time job.

 

[ccgirl]

LOL - threads like these are so entertaining! Everybody gets on their high horse and looks down on others who have a different way of living. As for our household, I'm a stay at home mom to a special needs son and an active cub scout.
Hat's off to y'all 2 parent working households. I haven't the foggiest how you do it without going crazy or hiring a maid/cook/chauffer/etc. I worked before having kids and my husband & I vied for time to vent about our demanding jobs. Now, he can focus on his job and I can focus on mine and leave the bickering at the door. Do we have hard days - of course, but we have the reserves and relaxation to meet them instead moving from one job to another (ie, 10 hours at work to housework & homework, etc).I am imensely thankful that his salary is enough to carry us without pinching too many pennies. This works for us. Your mileage may vary.
BTW - for all those who say that there is plenty of time to work while the kids are in school. My kids are schedule to be in class 177 days a year - or roughly 36 weeks. What do you do with other days? - it might be tough to find childcare for the time they are NOT in school ie, summer/winter/spring breaks, half days, inservice days, holidays etc, not to mention the inevitable sick days & parent conferences (esp with a special needs child). You need a super flexible job to accomodate all that. My field was IT - such a job probably doesn't exist unless I start my own consulting company.
Lastly, I totally agree with the dual philosophy of save for tomorrow while living for today. Nobody knows what will happen. I lost my dad when I was 15 and my mom this past Feb. Prepare for the future and enjoy today.

Just want to say....I think this is a great post. My field is IT and, you're right, a job like that doesn't exist. We are always in a dilemma when school is closed for a holiday that we both have to work. Like today for example. Luckily, I have my mother to fall back on. If we didn't have her, I guess we would run out of vacation time very quickly. So wish I could afford a personal chef but my crockpot will have to do. The jury is still out on hiring a house cleaner though. As for the chauffeur part, part of my salary goes toward that. Both things are difficult. Reading these boards has taught me to be less judgemental. We don't know why people are doing what they do, nor is it any of our business. Just because "it" is how we feel or how we do things does not make it right. Other that have differing opinions should not be looked down on.

Again, thanks for this post. It was well put.

 

[herdtoDisney]

Dh and I both work full-time, so we use a variety of plans for summers, half-days, conferences, ect...it's a lot of planning.

Beginning of school, I look at their calendars and see when the half-days and inservice days and conferenes are, and make notes of days that dh and I need to try to get off work (we get time, but it's not always possible to use it if others get it first). For summers, I start planning in Feburary! That's when signups for the city programs start. I figure in the time we will take off as a family vacation (which is usually day trips).

It can get nuts, but with having older kids now, it's easier than it was years ago. I was home for several years when everyone was little, and that was defeintely best for our family at that time! It was worth it, even though it took us years longer to get a home than we thought it would.

I have also worked part-time, and did home jobs-so I've been on all sides of the fence, and I don't judge anyone, because I know how it is! We do what we gotta do for our family, wherever we're at in our life at the time.

To the poster who feels that it's working moms who send sick kids to school and cause their child to get sick-I do not send sick kids to school. I have plans (more than one) for such a situation, thanks.

 

[crisi]

As I said, we can work from home (I'm in IT, btw, and I COULD work from home all summer if I wanted to - but it would be really hard to get anything done AND watch kids. So is my husband. Those jobs do exist.). Summer has been summer daycamp for the most part, but a few years ago my mother said she really wanted to spend the summers with her grandkids before they outgrew her. So she is here and has been for the past few years.

I made a ton of money in my mid teens watching neighbor kids for the summer. I suspect that still happens. And there are a ton of folks who can look to their kids friends moms who are interested in earning a little cash for the summer watching a few extra kids.

Now my kids are so busy that there are many days I call my mother with "neither of my kids will be here tomorrow."

 

[MScott1851]

Yes, we vacation when we have 'bills' because most of them come every month like clockwork anyway... We dont have any unsecured debt, owe nothing to credit cards or student loans or anything like that. We just have a mortgage, two car loans, insurance on those things and life insurance, our household bills, and the little added things that pop up occasionally, like property taxes, car tags, etc. Our vacation money is built into our budget just like the rest of our expenses.

We have four different savings accounts that are separate from our IRA's, 529, and 401ks. Each month, money gets automatically deducted from our checking and divvied up among the 'big, serious, keep a roof over our head' account, our 'Molly might need braces and private school and a Vera Wang wedding gown' account, the 'save it for crap we don't need but if we're good, we'll buy it' account, and last of all, the vacation account. When it's time to plan a trip, we see what is in the vacation kitty and go from there.

I had been saving vacation money for almost two years, since we didn't gt tgo anywhere last year, DD was way too small. So, this year, we're taking DD on her first Disney trip,as well as my mom and my MIL and staying at the WL the first week of December. It was nice to have it prepaid.

 

[Michelle and crew]

your daughter is adorable.

 

[DisneyBelle99]

I say go, and be cautious with spending. Before you know it, you will have two cranky, contrary teenagers on your hands, and you will fondly remember the good times.

Just my humble opinion