Do you vacation when you have bills?

[ilovejack02]

No. This is not a male/female thing. I would say the same thing about a stay at home dad.

We know nothing about the OP. She feels bad for her husband but there may be valid reasons she stays home which make economic sense or she may be lazy and sitting on the couch watching TV and eating bon-bons. The point is we do not know. Telling her to get a job just so she can go to Disney without having any insight into her life or her finances is preposterous.

I don't think it is preposterous , just a suggestion .

I worked part time for about a year for our first trip many moons ago. Didn't want to strain our house hold budget in any way and didn't want DH to feel pressured to work OT to help add to the fun.


Worked out great!

 

[tlbwriter]

From my post #124:

" I thought I was being very clear that I meant credit card debt (and debt owed to individuals who have done services such as doctors, lawyers and the like) I don't have a car payment, I pay cash for them, but cars are a necessity and not a luxury like a vacation (as long as they are buying within their means). If I had one, I would probably still vacation. Anyway, I was answering the OP who asked "DO you?" and I answered "NO _ I would feel that was very wrong for me"

FYI - when I began posting on this thread I was responding to the OP who said she had "credit card and medical bills" these are different debts than mortgage and car payments. Someone else brought these last two up and lumped it in with my statements later.

Okay. I just don't understand why it's immoral to have money in your bank account that could pay off your CC, but it's perfectly fine to have money in your bank account that could pay off your mortgage. Your earlier statement said it doesn't matter if the creditor is a bank or a person, but... it does matter if the bank holds your mortgage and not your credit card? I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

 

[punkin]

To me, this is the key.

You need to get a job. Why should your husband shoulder all the bills?

I don't think it is preposterous , just a suggestion .

I worked part time for about a year for our first trip many moons ago. Didn't want to strain our house hold budget in any way and didn't want DH to feel pressured to work OT to help add to the fun.


Worked out great!

doesn't sound like a suggestion...sounds like a requirement.

 

[jodifla]

OR - she could stay home, raise her children herself and not go on expensive vacations. Thank God this is America and that is her choice to make.

And her husband would still feel the pressure of being the sole breadwinner when they don't have enough right now to cover their bills.

It's the obvious solution to their problems.

 

[jodifla]

doesn't sound like a suggestion...sounds like a requirement.

If she wants to solve her family's problem, then it likely is a requirement.

 

[talulabelle]

Okay. I just don't understand why it's immoral to have money in your bank account that could pay off your CC, but it's perfectly fine to have money in your bank account that could pay off your mortgage. Your earlier statement said it doesn't matter if the creditor is a bank or a person, but... it does matter if the bank holds your mortgage and not your credit card? I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

Well - I can't think of a situation where having money in the bank but not paying off a credit card with it would be financially beneficial for anyone. The whole point of the argument wasn't having in the bank, it was blowing it on a an unnecessary vacation.

Again - defined payment for things that are necessary like housing ,cars etc - Are different than credit card debt with high APR's being used to buy UNNESSASARY THINGS LIKE FANCIER FURNITURE OR VACATIONS. These loans are financial agreements with a bank and can be beneficial for both parties. A person will spend more money with interest in the long run, but while having the car they purchased, they are then able to get to work to earn more money. Using money in hand for fun, rather than paying down debt carrying high interest rates is just not right (FOR ME _ but apparently and not surprisingly based on the majority of the nations financial status is right for many of you)

Car payments - allow you to be able to make more money
mortgage - allow you to make a sound real estate investment that provide necessary housing and will pay off in long run.

Credit card debt - stuff you probably didn't need, but wanted and don't want to pay for even when you have the money, because you want to use it on somethng else fun = wrong (for me).

 

[ccgirl]

Just want to make the point that not all credit card rates are high. Mine is 1.9% right now. Things to happen which sometimes facilitate the need to use credit cards, other than frivolous things. Especially in today's economy. I agree with you that it is a personal choice. I think maybe when you use the words immoral and sin people tend to take things a little personal. I know I did.

 

[allison443]

OR - she could stay home, raise her children herself and not go on expensive vacations. Thank God this is America and that is her choice to make.

OP's kids are school aged, so someone earlier on had suggested trying to find something during school hours. Unless she is homeschooling.

It sounds like you are saying working parents don't raise their children, only stay at home parents do.

 

[tlbwriter]

I understand differentiating between necessary and frivolous expenses, but I still don't understand how you divide these expenses morally in such a black and white matter. Credit card debt is not always frivolous. Mortgage debt is not always honorable. What if my credit card was used to repair the car that I need for my job? Or to visit my dying mother? What if my mortgage is for a mini mansion that I really don't need? Or for a vacation home? Or if I refinanced and cashed out to pay for a lavish vacation?

 

[talulabelle]

I understand differentiating between necessary and frivolous expenses, but I still don't understand how you divide these expenses morally in such a black and white matter. Credit card debt is not always frivolous. Mortgage debt is not always honorable. What if my credit card was used to repair the car that I need for my job? Or to visit my dying mother? What if my mortgage is for a mini mansion that I really don't need? Or for a vacation home? Or if I refinanced and cashed out to pay for a lavish vacation?

The reason I can do it in a black and white manner is because I was talking about MY debt and what I would do in the situation and if it is wrong for ME. My situation is black and white.

 

[talulabelle]

OP's kids are school aged, so someone earlier on had suggested trying to find something during school hours. Unless she is homeschooling.

It sounds like you are saying working parents don't raise their children, only stay at home parents do.

Not going here : whole nuther thread. I thought it was amazingly judgmental for someone who HAD JUST FINISHED CALLING ME JUDGEMENTAL to tell a complete stranger "they needed to get a job".

I'll do what i feel is right for me to raise my kids. You all make your own decisions.

 

[jodifla]

Not going here : whole nuther thread. I thought it was amazingly judgmental for someone who HAD JUST FINISHED CALLING ME JUDGEMENTAL to tell a complete stranger "they needed to get a job".

I'll do what i feel is right for me to raise my kids. You all make your own decisions.

A complete stranger who said she needed money and that she felt bad her husband was so pressured. Again, a completely reasonable comment.

 

[tlbwriter]

The reason I can do it in a black and white manner is because I was talking about MY debt and what I would do in the situation and if it is wrong for ME. My situation is black and white.

Okay. So when you use the word YOU, as you did in post #77:

To me it is just immoral to continue to use money like it is yours when you really owe it to another, and it doesn't matter if it is a bank or a person. It is just wrong.

I guess what you meant to say was "mine" and "me." You can see why I'm a little confused here, and why I thought you were telling others that their decisions were immoral.

 

[Mama-san]

Credit card debt - stuff you probably didn't need, but wanted and don't want to pay for even when you have the money, because you want to use it on somethng else fun = wrong (for me).

Not necessarily true. My husband was out of work for 5 months and we were forced to use our one CC (which had no balance) for items such as groceries and gas. That couple of grand in savings and the $1000/month in unemployment did't go very far. It was our only choice without raiding our 401k's. I couldn't find a job a the time either. What else could we have done????

 

[Colleen27]

Of course you can die any day. That is the point. You should enjoy your life while you have it to live. You have to take care of responsiblities, no one is saying you shouldn't; but you have to have a balance.

Yep. It is all about finding a good balance between enjoying life because you could be dead tomorrow and planning for the future because you could live to see 100.

 

[Colleen27]

Not only that, but from what I see, you have to be pretty well off to afford a house expensive enough to be able to deduct the interest. I'm not anywhere close to being able to deduct my interest. I'd need thousands and thousands more interest paid to get above the standard deduction.

How do people itemize? I'm at about $3500 itemized when my standard married deduction is what? $11,500 or something if I recall correctly?

Yeah, we're in that boat too but I consider that a fortunate circumstance - we live in a place where housing values are reasonable enough that the interest deduction just isn't a factor. In other parts of the country, even a starter home is so expensive that the mortgage interest deduction is a benefit!

We've only itemized once, when DH was working for a company that didn't offer benefits and we still had a mortgage. Between our health insurance premiums and mortgage interest we were over the standard deduction amount. Now that he's self employed we don't have to itemize to deduct health ins. premiums, and we don't have enough other deductions to make it worthwhile.

 

[Colleen27]

I can only of course base my observations on what she said. They have bills, she thinks her husband feels pressured because he is the only one working.

So a way to alleviate that pressure is for her to get a job. If the situation were flipped, and it was a man posting the original post, I can guarantee people would be suggesting he get a job to help out!

But thinking/worrying about the pressure of being a sole wage earner doesn't necessarily mean the alternative would be any less pressure. Everything comes with tradeoffs, and a working wife means more money but also more responsibilities at home.

I worry sometimes about the pressure DH is under as the provider for our family too, especially during the busy months when he's working 6 or 7 days a week (not so much in January when he's only working a few days here and there ), but for me to go back to work would just be trading one set of pressures for another. Unless, of course, I were to somehow go back to work and still continue to handle everything I do as a SAHM so that he wouldn't have any increased responsibility at home. When I worked outside the home he had to do a lot more in terms of being available for kid pickup, helping around the house, etc. and he would much rather the pressure of being the sole wage earner with the ability to focus on his business than go back to that juggling act.

 

[dunbarfamily]

Yes

 

[LisaInNc]

I would not go if I had more debt than a mortgage and ONE vehicle payment. That is the allowable debt I allow myself. Anything more and I would waiit until the debt is paid off.

I agree with a lot of the people that said that a Disney trip it's the only way to have amazing memories while your kids are young. Disney does such a good marketing job that it's easy to think that.

I also looked at the ages of the kids and thought that perhaps you could find some kind of a job. I don't know your situation and in this economy it's difficult but I am sure your DH would not mind some help with paying down your debt. It would get so closer a lot faster. Even babysitting another child close in age to yours would help.

I have the attitude of every little bit helps.

Good luck and I hope you get to Disney again!

Lisa

 

[bettymae1121]

Not only that, but from what I see, you have to be pretty well off to afford a house expensive enough to be able to deduct the interest. I'm not anywhere close to being able to deduct my interest. I'd need thousands and thousands more interest paid to get above the standard deduction.

How do people itemize? I'm at about $3500 itemized when my standard married deduction is what? $11,500 or something if I recall correctly?

Well it's not just mortgage interest but property taxes too (our property tax bill is $4400 a year). Between mortgage interest and property taxes, DH and I easily can itemize, and once we throw in state income taxes, charitable contributions, energy tax credits for remodiling our home, etc. we do much better that way. While we do okay for ourselves income wise, I wouldn't exactly call us wealthy either. Our home cost less than $200k even before the bubble burst and we've spent the last 5 years slowly updating it ourselves (all DIY work, we haven't hired anyone). So we aren't living in a McMansion!

If we didn't have mortgage interest, because of the property taxes and the rest of our deductions, we'd still be able to itemize but it would be a close call I think.