Do you think it's tacky for teens to ask for money for Christmas?

[dimimi]

Every teenager I know would rather receive money than anything else. If the thought is to give them something they want, why not?
Just send them the same that you were thinking of spending.

That's what every teenager I know would like too....Now if you spend a lot and can buy a $60 video game or can get gift cards for thier Ipod, that could be an idea. I guess I usually send gift cards to a place they like...but that's similar to giving money. I'd much rather do this than guess at what they might like and have the gift go untouched.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm not sure what others think of this, but I think it's tacky that my niece
(13) & nephew (15) have asked for money for Christmas. In fact, my SIL sent their lists via e-mail with "money" on them.

Sorry, I will not give them money for Christmas. DH (these are his brothers kids) told me I should respond with, "We will not be giving the kids money, we need other ideas".

Am I in the minority, or is this tacky for ask for as a Christmas gift?

Yep it's tacky. It's like saying, "I don't trust you to pick out something worthy of me -- but I do want a gift!"

 

[MrsPete]

I see no problem with lists at all, or gift cards, or cash. This is about giving and making the receiver happy....not what the GIVER wants.

I don't see a problem with giving a gift card -- if that's what the giver chooses to give -- the problem is teens who say, "Just send me money." That's greedy.

 

[genius118899]

I'd much prefer cash, or at least a gift card. My mom and her sister both buy me clothes that they'd wear; problem is, they're in their forties and I'm 19! I feel bad, but the clothes they buy me, I might wear while I'm home visiting, but I never even glance at once I'm back at college.

 

[MELSMICE]

I had one aunt that for my birthday would always take me out to brunch and then shopping for an outfit. She had similar traditions with my brothers and cousins and even now we are all adults and some of us have families of our own and we still remember that. Could you possibly do something like that with your nieces and nephews?

Was there a reason why they asked for money, like say they are trying to save up for a special trip with school or something?? Would you feel differently if that were the case?

They did not put anything specific on the list that they are saving for. Just that they wanted money.

My sister is the type that will buy my girls tickets to a show (one year The Rockettes!!!). She'll spend the day with my girls & take them to lunch. For their birthdays the each got a day at the spa with her. She spend way too much money on them, but they do have a great time.

As far as gifts for my nieces & nephews, I am not an "out of touch" aunt (at least not yet). I always get something that is the latest fad or from the "hot stores" - Abercrombie, AE, Hollister, stores like that. Oh well..............

 

[genius118899]

They did not put anything specific on the list that they are saving for. Just that they wanted money.

My sister is the type that will buy my girls tickets to a show (one year The Rockettes!!!). She'll spend the day with my girls & take them to lunch. For their birthdays the each got a day at the spa with her. She spend way too much money on them, but they do have a great time.

As far as gifts for my nieces & nephews, I am not an "out of touch" aunt (at least not yet). I always get something that is the latest fad or from the "hot stores" - Abercrombie, AE, Hollister, stores like that. Oh well..............

It sounds like you know what they like, so an actual present should be fine. My mom always buys me something from Talbots, disregarding the fact that the vast majority of 19 year old girls would not be caught dead in something from there.

 

[shortbun]

Our family has always provided wish lists. Sometimes when a child is saving for something big, we all chip in for that item. Now that all the children are teens, they need spending money and most are too busy to have a regular job. We give them gift cards and cash. That's what they like. Why is that bad? Want to give a teen something they long for? Give them cash. It's that simple. No judgements necessary.

 

[shortbun]

I don't see a problem with giving a gift card -- if that's what the giver chooses to give -- the problem is teens who say, "Just send me money." That's greedy.

It's not greedy, they want spending money. They don't know what they'll spend it on. They don't want to make some lame list of things they really don't care about just to give you something to go out and shop for. Send them cash. It's what they want.

 

[Lizzybear]

I personally don't think it's tacky, HOWEVER I do know there are some who would rather give actual gifts (my bf's mother is one) so I would always urge teens and parents to respect that and have a few more ideas than just money or giftcards.

 

[MELSMICE]

It sounds like you know what they like, so an actual present should be fine. My mom always buys me something from Talbots, disregarding the fact that the vast majority of 19 year old girls would not be caught dead in something from there.

LOL - I have to laugh at your Talbots comment. I'm 45 & while I love the store & a lot of their things, there are many items at Talbots that I wouldn't be caught dead in. They just have "old lady" written all over them!!!

 

[monkey68]

I don't think it's tacky to ask for cash. And I am one who would prefer cash to a gift card, because when I get a gift card, I can never find anything in the store that I like, even if it's one I usually shop at. Just give me cash instead of a gift card, so if I want to spend $10 in one store, some dollars on itunes, $30 for dinner, etc. I can, and don't have to spend all that in one place.

 

[binny]

I think it is tacky to send "lists".

it depends on whether or not it was requested. I always ask for lists for my nephews and niece.

We all send around a list with ideas. Certainly not a demand list but a list of suggestions. We only see each once a year so we dont really know the brothers kids too well.

 

[Camicar]

I always get something that is the latest fad or from the "hot stores" - Abercrombie, AE, Hollister, stores like that. Oh well..............

Okay, as the mother of a teen dd, I can give you her response to your statement:
1. Do you know everything I already own from those stores so you don't duplicate it?
2. Do you know my size in those stores? [Because believe me the Hollister size Small fits a 6 year old.]
3. Do you know what colors I want?
4. Do you know that I do not ever wear graphic tees or tees with the store's name on it? [Or for some of her friends -- do you know that all I will wear are graphic tees or tees with the store's name on it?]
5. Do you know that you have to check the length of the shirt because some are cut to bare the belly and I don't wear those kind of shirts?
6. Did you know that I have a long torso, so you really have to check the length of all the shirts in those stores?
7. Do you know how much the shirts in each store shrink so you can buy the right size after compensating for the shrinking?
8. Did you know that due to a medical condition I sometimes have bloating so I can't have any shirts that are clingy in any way?

Still want to try and buy a shirt for a teenager? LOL

But seriously, it is so hard to buy clothes for anyone, isn't it? Would you want your teen nieces and nephews buying you clothes? Probably not.

I don't really want anyone buying me clothes either and when they have, 99% of the time it's totally wrong -- not even close. What's amazing is that they are so SURE they bought the right thing and you're sitting there wondering, "Have they confused me with someone else? Why else did they buy me a heavy-duty lined red plaid flannel farmer shirt in XXL?" But you play nice and thank them and can't ask for a receipt because that would be so much ruder than giving someone a gift that is clearly so wrong for them and then go home and toss it in the Goodwill bag.

And so I call a moratorium on all clothes gifts.

 

[MELSMICE]

Okay, as the mother of a teen dd, I can give you her response to your statement:
1. Do you know everything I already own from those stores so you don't duplicate it?
2. Do you know my size in those stores? [Because believe me the Hollister size Small fits a 6 year old.]
3. Do you know what colors I want?
4. Do you know that I do not ever wear graphic tees or tees with the store's name on it? [Or for some of her friends -- do you know that all I will wear are graphic tees or tees with the store's name on it?]
5. Do you know that you have to check the length of the shirt because some are cut to bare the belly and I don't wear those kind of shirts?
6. Did you know that I have a long torso, so you really have to check the length of all the shirts in those stores?
7. Do you know how much the shirts in each store shrink so you can buy the right size after compensating for the shrinking?
8. Did you know that due to a medical condition I sometimes have bloating so I can't have any shirts that are clingy in any way?

Still want to try and buy a shirt for a teenager? LOL

But seriously, it is so hard to buy clothes for anyone, isn't it? Would you want your teen nieces and nephews buying you clothes? Probably not.

I don't really want anyone buying me clothes either and when they have, 99% of the time it's totally wrong -- not even close. What's amazing is that they are so SURE they bought the right thing and you're sitting there wondering, "Have they confused me with someone else? Why else did they buy me a heavy-duty lined red plaid flannel farmer shirt in XXL?" But you play nice and thank them and can't ask for a receipt because that would be so much ruder than giving someone a gift that is clearly so wrong for them and then go home and toss it in the Goodwill bag.

And so I call a moratorium on all clothes gifts.

Well, as the mom of 3 teen DD's I am pretty conscious of what kids wear. I also know how the sizes run in the stores. When I see my nieces & nephews I actually make note of what they wear.

My 10 year old nephew wears long sleeve tees from AE - with just the AE name - no other grapics

My 15 year old nephew wears short sleeve tees with the Abercrombie or Hollister name on them. He also wears hoodies in dark colors - not light

My 13 year old niece wears short sleeve tees from AE, Abercrombie or Hollister & also the sweats from those places, along with Victoria's Secret sweats

My other 13 year old niece wears hoodies from Aero - light colors

A gift is that - a gift. It is not something that should be expected. My MIL buys us Waterford ornaments every year for Christmas. I honestly could care less whether I get these or not. Give me a cute little Hallmark or Disney ornament that fits more of the way my tree is decorated. However, she loves giving these every year & gets so excited when we open them.

I guess I just have a different opinion of a Christmas gift. At this point, I won't give cash as a gift. It may change some day when I am older & don't do much shopping, but right now, I'm going to give a gift instead of cash.

 

[luvdzny]

Every teenager I know would rather receive money than anything else. If the thought is to give them something they want, why not?
Just send them the same that you were thinking of spending.

I totally agree!!! I have a 19 year old DD and it is even hard for me to buy for her. I also have a 19 year old niece and her tastes are totally different from DD's, so I am clueless on what to get her. Giving money or gift cards lets them pick out something they really want, not something that is going to get stuffed in a closet & never worn or used.

 

[Camicar]

Well, as the mom of 3 teen DD's I am pretty conscious of what kids wear. I also know how the sizes run in the stores. When I see my nieces & nephews I actually make note of what they wear.

My 10 year old nephew wears long sleeve tees from AE - with just the AE name - no other grapics

My 15 year old nephew wears short sleeve tees with the Abercrombie or Hollister name on them. He also wears hoodies in dark colors - not light

My 13 year old niece wears short sleeve tees from AE, Abercrombie or Hollister & also the sweats from those places, along with Victoria's Secret sweats

My other 13 year old niece wears hoodies from Aero - light colors

Well, then you do have a good idea and know the contents of their closets so you don't duplicate. Great.

I can assure you however that most people don't have that much of an idea or frankly care if the gift is liked because in our society we generally give gifts out of obligation only. Sad, but true.

A gift is that - a gift.

True. But why not give the person what they want as opposed to wasting your money? I just don't get this stubborn insistence I see from people on shopping blindly and expecting the recipient to fall into transports of rapture over something they neither want nor need. If the recipient is not supposed to expect anything, then the giver should also not expect anything other than a perfunctory thank you.

 

[Kathi OD]

Definitely not tacky. As a gift-giver I want to give something that is wanted by the person on the receiving end. So if money is what they want, then money is what they get, and I don't understand what the problem is.

Most times the things teens want cost more than my budget will allow. The kids are smart enough to know this and figure that if they can get a couple of aunts/uncles to give them cash they can get whatever it is that they want. I'd rather give them cash to put toward something they really want or need than to give them something that they will never use.

Gift cards are nice, but what if they get gift cards to 3 different stores, all in fairly small denominations? Those gift cards don't help them get the item they really want.

 

[happygirl]

No, I don't find it tacky in the least. If you asked them what they wanted what are they supposed to say lie??

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I haven't read through all the replies, but here is my thought:

it depends on the situation and how it is requested for the most part.

I am one that really wants sugestions/ideas from the teens or their parents. So, lists are OK in my book if asked for.

The most important thing to me is that I give something the recipient really wants/needs. I would rather give them money/gift card toward that than buy them something they do not want/need (and waste my money in the long run).

I do understand where people are coming from when they say they don't like lists or requests for money though.

 

[MELSMICE]

I can assure you however that most people don't have that much of an idea or frankly care if the gift is liked because in our society we generally give gifts out of obligation only. Sad, but true. True. But why not give the person what they want as opposed to wasting your money? I just don't get this stubborn insistence I see from people on shopping blindly and expecting the recipient to fall into transports of rapture over something they neither want nor need. If the recipient is not supposed to expect anything, then the giver should also not expect anything other than a perfunctory thank you.

I think the part that I bolded is what is beginning to bother me at Christmas time. You're right, it seems as though so many gifts are given out of obligation.

I honestly think about what is wanted by someone I am giving a gift to. Throughout the year when talking to the person I make mental notes of things they have mentioned that they like.

A few years ago my SIL was always talking about how dry her hands were so I bought her this great hand cream that I was given as a gift previously & loved. This year she said, "if you get my name for Christmas could you get me more of that hand cream, I loved it."

Last year my niece had a friend over. She had to get her hair done for a cheer competition. Her mom used these neat rollers & my niece said, "Those are so cool. I would love those." I found out where the friend got them & it was one of her small Christmas gifts. She was so excited (or at least acted like she was)

I honestly put some time, thought & effort in to it, so maybe that is why I prefer not to give money.

BTW - I also always enclose a gift receipt with the purchase in case they want to take it back. This way, they don't have to ask if they really don't like the gift.