Do you pay for your children to attend Birthday Parties?

[carj]

Our local zoo has a birthday party area, and they arrange it for you. I would love to have a party for DS there.

But it doesn't include admission. So on top of the per person party cost, there's the admission to think about (and since our parties are still adult friends and relatives, that's all adult admissions). I cannot even imagine asking friends and family to pay their way in (if they were all members of the zoo, that would be one thing, but they aren't), and I'm not going to more than double my cost for this party, so no zoo party.

Our zoo parties include admission to the zoo but the parents have to pay to park. It is only $5 but if I paid for all the parents to park, that could easily add another $100 to the cost of the party. On the other hand, I don't want to ask the parents to pay...so no zoo party for us either!

We have NEVER asked a child to pay to attend a party. My son's last birthday was at a laser tag, video game place. We paid for the kids to play laser tag and for $15 game play cards, (We only spent $5 on each card, as it was a special deal with the part package.)

I always try to specify in the invitations what we are planning to do. This way, parents will know if we are serving a meal or just cake. I hate getting an invitation for a party from noon-2:00 and not knowing if I should feed my child lunch. I usually do, just to make sure, but more often than not the parent provides lunch. I just think that it is helpful to all to be specific and not assume.

We have never been asked to pay for our child to attend a party. I think that is just plain weird!

 

[Dizneydaz]

No, DD8 has never been invited to a party that charged admission and I would NEVER charge a child to attend her party. We've had a couple birthday parties and a halloween party, so far. This Sept. she wants to have a sleepover for her 9th. Maybe I should charge a bed tax?

I can't believe a mother would be so cruel as to invite girls to a mini-golf party and then expect them to pay their own way(and not mention it on the invites ) And then to make those who didn't pay just walk along is unthinkable. How cruel can you be? So I guess I should tell my child if something like that every happens to her to call me so I can pick her up? I wonder if that mom would allow someone else's child to use her cel phone or give her money for the phone? Probably not.

I agree that some parties have gotten out of control. I even disagree with the providing of goodie bags so each guest doesn't feel bad that they don't get a gift. Usually the items included in those bags are items that get thrown away in a few days and if they cost the hostess, let's say, $3-5 a bag, and they do 10, that's $30-50 for junk that's going to be thrown into the landfields in just a few days. At my DD's parties we do easy crafts so they have something they made to take home. Plus it keeps them busy during the party. Last year I made boxes out of cardstock that I saw on a scrapbooking show. I made each guest 3 boxes, with lids. Each box could fit into the next box. Then I provided stickers, foam stickers, markers, etc. that I were leftovers from other projects and the girls had a great time decorating them and then taking them home. All it cost me was the cost of the cardstock (12x12) and getting rid of stickers, etc. that I no longer had a use for.

A friend of my DD had a party and they decorated some inexpensive picture frames and the parents took a picture of all the girls and put it in the frame. She still has that picture in her room and it's from last year.

There are ways to reduce the budget on parties-it doesn't have to be all jumpers, pony rides, reptile farms, puppy visits, clowns, theme parks, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. All the kids care about is the cake and ice cream and running around.

 

[eclairemom]

Class seems to be what is missing alot these days. It has nothing to do with how much money you have, but how you treat people and think of others and not yourself. QUOTE]

So true, I went to a private school and I can't tell you the number of hamburgers my mom had to buy on a field trip because the parents hadn't sent any money for the kids to eat on the way home.

 

[DiznEeyore]

I can think of lots of ideas for a Michigan winter BD...some of my fondest memories of childhood [in MI and Minnesota] were sledding/tobaganning/building snow-men/snow forts with snow-ball fights...etc. Imagine a sled party followed by some steaming [bargain!] soups and hot bread with cake and ice cream Throw in some hot chocolate and its a beautiful thing. {Can you tell I miss snow?}

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. There is nowhere nearby to sled (none of the kids around here even own them) and again, a small house cannot accommodate a bunch of kids, even if they have been outside for the bulk of the day. And no kids I know are fans of soup and bread ... Finally, I despise the cold and so does my son. So what you're suggesting wouldn't be a party to us, LOL!!

We'll stick w/our indoor party-place parties.

 

[sk!mom]

But this was a small daycare class of about 8 kids and the poor teacher got the dirty job of trying to explain to some kids why they didn't get an invitation. (Off topic, I know, but still another example of tackiness IMHO.)

The teacher didn't have to accept this "dirty job." I'm a teacher and my policy is that all students must be included or they cannot be handed out in my classroom. More than once, I've sent invitations home with a child.

 

[LIFERBABE]

The teacher didn't have to accept this "dirty job." I'm a teacher and my policy is that all students must be included or they cannot be handed out in my classroom. More than once, I've sent invitations home with a child.

Thank you!! That should be a school policy. If you want to pick and choose, then you should know these kids well enough to have their address. Mail them their invite and spare the ones that werent invited.

 

[ceecee]

Thank you!! That should be a school policy. If you want to pick and choose, then you should know these kids well enough to have their address. Mail them their invite and spare the ones that werent invited.

It is at our school, that is not acceptable to ask the teacher to pass out invitations!

 

[surfergirl602]

My daughter has been invited to a family members 13th birthday party. She was told it would only cost $10. I have been a mom for 17 years and have never heard of that one. If it were not a family member, she would not go. With my kids having over 15 cousins, we are not able to spend a great deal on each of them, so her gift will be $5-$10 in a nice handmade card.

Are we living a sheltered life or is this the standard? Thanks for letting me vent.

What?!?!? NO.

 

[DLW8]

I don't care what events are planned for any childs birthday party, no one who is a guest should have to cover the cost of attending another childs party.

Whats next, having a cover charge with a two drink limit?

I agree, birthday parties can be expensive when everyone is trying to do "one up" on the last party. We have done home parties (fun for the kids but stressful for me) and the last 2 years we have done bowling parties. I would never even THINK about having people pay for even the shoe rental!

The bowling party was a great deal IMO, $12 per child which included bowling, pizza and beverages. They also do all the paper goods, even the invites! I brought homemade cupcakes (easier to deal with than cake) and a cooler with hoodsie cup ice cream, and all was good.

As my kids get older, I will give them the option to do something a bit more pricey (movies and dinner or a laser tag/minigolf/climbing wall place with just a few of their friends).

As for goody bags....I HATE getting all that chachki brought home after a party. They end up being clutter and then tossed. I have been making t-shirts for our "goody bags". The kids and I create a "logo" based on the theme of the party or something they like (guitars or princesses or whatnot) and I buy white shirts (on sale, of course) and print the logos on the computer paper, iron them on, and the kids have a nice keepsake. It's also great when they all wear them for a photo, and I include that as a postcard/thank you.

If my kids get invited to a party where they have to pay....OY VEY! And, out of all the parties my kids have gone to in the past 2 years (twins), more than half have been AT HOME parties, and the kids have a blast!

DD went to a sleepover where they had slip & slide races, pizza, played a Hannah Montana game, and watched a movie. She was in heaven.

You don't have to break the bank for kids to have fun!

 

[happycampers]

Oh dear! I cannot believe the nerve of some people! Downright rude! I feel terrible for the girls who didn't get to play mini golf, but also for the girls who had to play while their friends could only watch. I know that would've made my kids completely uncomfortable.

Breath of fresh air? My DD was invited to a "shared" birthday party by two very sweet girls in her class. The invitation included information on a mission that was important to them both. Attendees were asked not to bring any gifts for the girls, but to bring something to be donated to the mission if they'd like.

 

[HopingToGetEngaged]

Breath of fresh air? My DD was invited to a "shared" birthday party by two very sweet girls in her class. The invitation included information on a mission that was important to them both. Attendees were asked not to bring any gifts for the girls, but to bring something to be donated to the mission if they'd like.

It's wonderful to see children (and parents) thinking about others for a change...

 

[rainy~daze]

last November we had DDs party at our local Coal Mine Tour and then back to the house for pizza and cake.
We chose to have it there because we have a membership in something that gave us enough free passes for the day to get everyone in. So we didn't even have to pay. we went down in the coal mine for the tour, after touring the museum.
Then everyone came home to have pizza and cake at our house. And more people stopped by that just couldn't do the coal mine tour. One of the neatest parties we ever did and the cheapest because of the free passes!

but, no I could not imagine inviting people then when they arrive say, oh you pay admission over there, it is x dollars.
no matter what the event, when we invite someone somewhere we pay, for everything related. if there is admisson, food, drink. we do not pay for souvenirs, that is bonus and we are not usually buying them ourselves so no way would i pay for one for someone else to have one.

 

[LilGMom]

I just realized that we had been to a party where we had to pay. When my oldest was around four he was invited to a birthday party at the movie theater to see "Racing Stripes". Since he was only four there was no way that we were just going to drop him off and we had every intention of paying for our tickets but were more than a little shocked when we had to pay for his movie ticket as well. Then we paid for the Kids Pack of popcorn, drink and candy for him too. We were the only parents that were surprised and I think that the parents should have made some comment on the invite to let people know that movie tickets for the invited children would not be included.

The next year we had a party at the movie theater (last big party) for my oldest and we watched "Cars". We were able to buy the tickets/kids packs for all of the kids and made a note on the invite that we'd gladly provide one adult ticket as well per guest. Less kids showed up than we had assumed would so if there were more than one parent there or siblings we paid for them too. We were financially able to do this and would not have had a party at the movie theater if we would have had to have the invited guests pay their own way.

We had pizza, cake and pool time at the house last year for our oldest and I think that was the most fun he has ever had at one of his parties. We'll continue to do that from now on.

 

[EMom]

My daughter has been invited to a family members 13th birthday party. She was told it would only cost $10. I have been a mom for 17 years and have never heard of that one. If it were not a family member, she would not go. With my kids having over 15 cousins, we are not able to spend a great deal on each of them, so her gift will be $5-$10 in a nice handmade card.

Are we living a sheltered life or is this the standard? Thanks for letting me vent.

If your child is "invited" to a party at which they are expected to pay their own way, they are no longer a "guest." They have changed categories and are now a "customer." Guests do not pay. Customers pay.

 

[happycampers]

If your child is "invited" to a party at which they are expected to pay their own way, they are no longer a "guest." They have changed categories and are now a "customer." Guests do not pay. Customers pay.

Excellent analogy!

 

[ZPT1022]

Definately new one here too. I would say if I brought one of my other children to play somewhere, I would pay for them to go and I would stay with them while my other child particpated in the party.

We've done that too. Oldest DD was invited to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. We brought the entire family and DH went off with the younger two kids and played games and had pizza with them while DD did all the birthday festivities. I stuck around the birthday part for a few minutes but honestly, there were more adults than there was party space so I ended up with DH and the twins. Completely different in my mind though since the one invited to the party was treated as a guest and I'd never presume to bring extra kids to a party on someone else's dime.



Just curious though, where do you draw the line? Where does the hosting obligation end? We recently held a birthday party for oldest DD at Rainforest Cafe. About half of the parents said "Great!! An hour and a half to peruse the mall on my own!" And the other half said "Cool! I've always wanted to go to Rainforest Cafe!" And I said "OH CRAP!" I didn't know if these parents were expecting me to pay for them to have lunch or what. Not to be rude but the party was for the kids, not the adults. I can't afford to just hand out menus and say "sure, order whatever you like" What if someone decided to order pricey alcoholic drinks in souvenir glasses and the most expensive entree? I finally just talked to the party planner at RFC and what we ended up doing was ordering some heavier type appetizers and fountain drinks for the adults. We managed to pass along the message that that was what we would be providing and if they wanted anything else they were free to open a tab with the waitress. Hopefully that was a happy medium. No one ordered anything else but I still worry that we offended someone.

 

[kimsuenew]

My daughter has been invited to a family members 13th birthday party. She was told it would only cost $10. I have been a mom for 17 years and have never heard of that one. If it were not a family member, she would not go. With my kids having over 15 cousins, we are not able to spend a great deal on each of them, so her gift will be $5-$10 in a nice handmade card.

Are we living a sheltered life or is this the standard? Thanks for letting me vent.

WOW ~ this is a new one for me!

DS has had a lot of birthday parties, which always had admission/activity costs added to the typical cost ( of food/cake/decorations/treat bags/helium balloons) and never once would I have even dreamed of asking anyone to pay! We have had bowling (several), roller skating, and "Chuck E Cheese" type (several) parties and we of course paid for everything, as one should!

I would have to decline, family or not, and be honest in a very polite way (I am sorry Susie cannot come to Sam's party, we typically give a gift in the $10.00 range, and as that is the admission cost for Sam's party, we would not feel right coming without a gift. Thank you for the inviation.)

DS has been invited to many parties as well as having them, and we have never encountered one with a cost for attending/participation attached. My guess is you are not the only person perplexed by this invite!

 

[wdwhereicome]

Nothing new to add, but the stories really got me going! Unbelievable!!! I had 3 Dkids and never asked someone to pay their own way to a party I invited them to. Never would have crossed my mind!!!

And I wish I could have the phone number of the mini-golf mom...or her address! How dare she! Those poor kids who didn't get to play! That must have been totally awful for them!! They thought they were going to party!!! And what did they get?!!

And the RFC one - why on earth would those parents think they were invited to attend a child's party??? "Oh, I always wanted to go to RFC"...well then go on your own time! The party mom had no reason to pay for anything for party crashers! Again, I never thought I was invited to any party my Dgang was invited to!

Here's my party lesson for all of them...Get a life people! Learn how to be a host/hostess! Only have a party you can afford! And don't crash! The name on the invitation is the only one invited!

 

[ZPT1022]

And the RFC one - why on earth would those parents think they were invited to attend a child's party??? "Oh, I always wanted to go to RFC"...well then go on your own time! The party mom had no reason to pay for anything for party crashers! Again, I never thought I was invited to any party my Dgang was invited to!

thanks, that is good to hear. My cousin's DD and my DD are in the same class plus they're really close, so cousin's DD was one of the invitees. Cousin was excited because she'd never been but she and her husband and their other two kids just got a table near us, waved occasionally but otherwise did their own thing. That was cool and more in line with what I'd have thought of as normal. Live and learn I guess

 

[NeedaVacation03]

Wow just when I thought I have heard of everything.
My DD8 has been invited to a party with 7 other girls ( 9 total with the birthday girl) to an overnight at an indoor waterpark. The mom rented a room that sleeps 10 and the girls are going to swim and sleepover. Now it makes me wonder if this is going to cost me more than a gift. I dont think these parents would do that, but after reading all these posts I am beginning to wonder.
Maybe I should just call the mom first and ask if there is room for my other 3 kids That would give me a whole night free with free babysitting, if she is going to pay for everything. ( Before anyone thinks I am serious, I am just kidding I promise. My kids are not allowed to attend each others friends parties ever)