Do you pay for your children to attend Birthday Parties?

[LIFERBABE]

Our birthdays are just us, cake and ice cream. My kids don't attend parties unless they are family or very close friends.

I agree, that if you cannot afford to host then you should do something more private.

People think they are doing you a favor by inviting you to something, when in reality, the invited guests are the ones that are really giving of their time, effort, and care to be there for you. I can stay home and be fine, so guests deserve to be treated like guests.

A co-worker and friend got married this year and she expected all her friends to help out or bring a dish for the reception. I thought that was extremely tacky and everyone felt really put upon but they did it anyway. I flat out refused to be anything but a guest and that was pushing it, because i really did not want to attend because she treated our mutual friend very poorly during the whole process. I still want that Saturday back!

It's the same premise, you are not entitled to a wedding or a party. If you can't afford it, do everyone a favor and do something private or small enough to where those that do attend feel like guests. No one wants to attend a wedding reception as a guest and have to get up and pass drinks and cake and clear dirty plates. Or be invited to a party that they have to pay for. If I want to pay for my kids to play laser tag, I can take them. If you want them to be there for your childs party as a guest then host it.

 

[IDoDis]

The host should pay for everything. Period. The one exception is a Build-A-Bear party where a limit is set on how much the kids can spend. If the host decides it's $20 and lets the parents know this, then so be it and the parents can pay more if the child wants more items. I think that's a bit different than paying for a party activity.

 

[JennCa]

What is this world coming to?

Jenn

 

[MNWDWMANIAC]

My wife an I always accept the idea that we will be paying for our sons to have nice parties. This means if we did the laser tag place, or the amusement park, or bowling alley or even at the house with tons of yummy food and party stuff.....that WE would pay for EVERYTHING.

I can't imagine asking a parent to pay for their kid to come to my kids party.

That's just tacky.

Of course this falls in line with the parents that send out invitations asking for cash only instead of gifts.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

That is tacky - if you invite someone to a birthday party, you should pay for them. Even if it was a family member I would have found something else to do & not gone.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

My DD went to a mini-golf birthday party and I put $5 in her pocket for "treats" after they finished golfing (they have video games, candy, etc) when she came home she told me she didn't get to do any of that because the mom used her $5 to pay for her mini golf game! She said a couple of girls didn't bring money and they didn't get to play - just walked with them to each hole!!

That is just mean - I wouldn't be friends with this one anymore! Did she tell the kids ahead of time that they had to pay their own way? How rude!

 

[Pixiedust34]

If you can't financially afford one of these themed parties, have cake [homemade] and icecream at your house with a big pitcher of homemade koolaid or lemonade. Play games....heck in the summer have them run in a sprinkler. No one has to do these golf, bounce, bowling, build a bear, whatever parties....and skip goodie bags...

I'm so tired of people doing these crazy elaborate parties. And the goodie bags anymore. My goodness.

That mom that didn't even inform people they had to pay for the mini-golf [putt putt] should be smacked. How rude to those girls.

Ugh.

I agree. Guests should not be charged to attend a party. That is sad about the kids who couldn't play mini-golf.

If a person can't afford to host an elaborate party, then a "homemade cake with ice cream" backyard party is certainly an option to consider. You could even have the party at a playground or park and bring the cake there. Kids don't need all of the bells and whistles to have a great time at a birthday party. Celebrating with friends and family is what is important and that can be done on a shoestring budget.

 

[wshupnastar]

We have done budget parties, and not so budget parties. From cake and ice cream w/ only grandparents to 10 kids at Build-A-Bear ($25 for each child, if they wanted "extra" parents could provide...ONLY invited close cousins and very close friends, as they were comfortable with the set up) and, honestly, my kids had fun at all of the parties. It wasn't about the money or how fancy a party was!

I have seen parents spent so much money on parties...seriously, I consider the $250 at Build A Bear a bargain! I didn't have to provide food, entertainment, drinks (that always end up going down our drain as the kids never finish them) and paper products. I have seen as much food at a child's party as a wedding reception!

My kids are now 11 and my oldest just celebrated her 14th birthday this week. They now opt for no party, and a nicer gift from Mom and Dad. I figure if I am saving the money by not hosting a party, heck, I can spend more on them! (Of course, I still will not go over-board)

 

[Todd&Copper]

Until the majority of parents refuse to cave in and pay the fees for these parties, stand up and say enough is enough, it is probably only going to get worse. Today, folks folks will blame party entrance fees on unexpected gas and food price hikes, and the stimulus check didn't go far enough (or they used it for a Disney trip ). Pretty soon, the practice of charging admission to a kiddie party will be acceptable and no excuse will be needed.

It's happening with weddings. Couples used to register for things for the home at a department store. Then, they started registering for electronics and games/movies at Best Buy and Target. Then, they started registering for "goodies" for guests to buy them as add-ons for their honeymoon (e.g., a massage at the hotel spa, swanky dinner at a ritzy restaurant, balloon rides, swimming with dolphins, etc.). Now, I have heard such outlandish things as "registering" PayPal accounts so guests can help contribute to whatever the couple wants. Could be a house, could be a car, could be booze and drugs for all the guest knows. It is really out of hand.

 

[ScubaCat]

My DD went to a mini-golf birthday party and I put $5 in her pocket for "treats" after they finished golfing (they have video games, candy, etc) when she came home she told me she didn't get to do any of that because the mom used her $5 to pay for her mini golf game! She said a couple of girls didn't bring money and they didn't get to play - just walked with them to each hole!!

As bad as actually asking people to pay their way is, nobody has even mentioned that this is actually even ten times worse -- that the parent/host would actually not kick in for the few kids that didn't know/have the money to just sit there and be excluded is just downright horrendous.

I'd probably go out of my way to make sure everyone knew what that parent did to my child just to make sure their kids don't suffer the same neglect in the future.

 

[shortbun]

My son is having his 13th tomorrow. We're taking them to a movie, getting pizza, they are spending the night and having a basketball tournament in the morning. A couple of the parents offered to pay. No way. It's our party and we're paying. Oh and the kids have been told NOT to bring a gift, seriously.

 

[jrsmom]

I agree that it is beyond tacky. We had a family member do this a few years ago, kids free, adults pay, when I informed them that we would drop my child off they totally flipped out. Since then I have been the "evil" one, oh well.

I agree that if you cannot pay for or don't want to pay for such elaborate parties, make cupcakes and stay at home. The kids will be just as happy running around in the backyard.

 

[WendyisDarling]

Can I share a breath of fresh air?

Earlier this week my DS was invited to a BD. The invitation explained it is at their home and is a "water party". They will have water balloons, a wading pool and a slip & slide followed with cake and ice cream.

Doesn't that sound fun? I am so tired of going to the same laser tags, inflatable birthday zones, bowling alleys, etc. I say kudos to these parents. I will be super impressed if they do not pass out goody bags

To the OP --paying for attending the party is a new one to me. I would probably pass. I don't think I would encourage this practice to become accepted.

 

[goofyboyzmom]

My DD went to a mini-golf birthday party and I put $5 in her pocket for "treats" after they finished golfing (they have video games, candy, etc) when she came home she told me she didn't get to do any of that because the mom used her $5 to pay for her mini golf game! She said a couple of girls didn't bring money and they didn't get to play - just walked with them to each hole!!

This was probably some time ago, but my heart is broken for your daughter for an adult to take her money off her and for the other girls who had to just walk hole to hole! I have never heard such a thing, but believe me, it would have been addressed!!

 

[DisneyMOM09]

Wow! When we have my daughters' birthdays we either have an at home party, take them skating or do the whole Chuckie Cheese thing. We only invite family(yes both grandpas put on skates) and one or two friends. ( we have a huge family so we can't afford to take the whole class or invite tons fo friends) for skating, we pay for their entrance fee, skate rental, drinks and cake and ice cream. If they want something extra from the snack bar then our family will get it themselves and the two little friends we will pay for. For a Chuckie Cheesse birthday we order pizza and drinks for everyone and buy a certain amount of tokens to be divided among the children (usually at least 50 per kid) Usually after the rest of the family starts buying tokens for all the kids(plus my husband is like a big kid so he sneaks back to buy more tokens also). We never let the kids run out of tokens until we are ready to go and we always make sure that all of the kids have some tickets for prizes( my husband volunteers to play games until we have a ton, LOL). Birthdays are really family affairs for us, we do like to do the typical birthday parties that kids like, but we still make it a family thing and only invite one or two really good friends.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Can I share a breath of fresh air?

Earlier this week my DS was invited to a BD. The invitation explained it is at their home and is a "water party". They will have water balloons, a wading pool and a slip & slide followed with cake and ice cream.

Doesn't that sound fun? I am so tired of going to the same laser tags, inflatable birthday zones, bowling alleys, etc. I say kudos to these parents. I will be super impressed if they do not pass out goody bags

To the OP --paying for attending the party is a new one to me. I would probably pass. I don't think I would encourage this practice to become accepted.

That sounds like a great party! Unfortunately though due to the times of year having a party at home isn't always an option. We have done awesome home parties and we have done awesome out parties. I may have to use the water theme idea for one of my kids!

 

[mindyd]

The only thing I have ever had to pay for is at a skating rink everyone always puts please bring 1.00 for skate rental. When we had our daughters party I paid for everyones skate rental because I didn't like the fact of inviting people to our party and having them pay.

 

[christa112]

Definately new one here too. I would say if I brought one of my other children to play somewhere, I would pay for them to go and I would stay with them while my other child particpated in the party.

 

[DiznEeyore]

That sounds like a great party! Unfortunately though due to the times of year having a party at home isn't always an option. We have done awesome home parties and we have done awesome out parties. I may have to use the water theme idea for one of my kids!

Very true! My son's b-day is in early January (outside parties are not an option in a Michigan winter, LOL) and we have an extremely small house, so all of his "non-family" parties have either been at my mil's house (when he was a baby) or at some designated party place ... Chuck E. Cheese, glow bowling, glow-golf, etc. We aren't rolling in the dough, but never in a million years would I think of letting any guest pay a penny towards the party! Our party, our dime!

What is up with some people?

 

[goofyboyzmom]

A funny story............

We had just moved here in Aug. and my middle son's birthday is in November. He was in kindergarten and obviously we were new to the neighborhood. We had an at-home birthday party with about 10 kids from his class and had pizza, cake and ice cream, games, etc. (a typical at-home party). When it was time to leave, one of the little boys came flying back down the stairs and said "I forgot my goody bag!" I said, "oh, honey we don't have goody bags today". He was crushed! No big deal, sweet little boy (they are still best buds 10 years later). His mother called me that night, humiliated and embarrassed by what he had done (his babysitter had picked him up). I told her don't be embarrassed, I'm not. (we are also close friends). We had found with my older son that goody bags from parties cost a lot to put anything decent in or were generally full of, excuse my language, crap, that gets thrown out immediately, but still cost enough to be a nuisance.

I think in the last 10 years of living here and having parties for my three boys, that I am still the only one who never gave a goody bag!