Do you pay for other family members on vacation?

[horseshowmom]

I would tell him that you would love to have him go to the parks with you and maybe he could find another hotel that might suit his financial needs better. He probably will be calling within an hour to stay with you.
Also, remember, you will be buying food, drinks and snacks for the house. Have you included that cost into his amount? If you are planning some "adult" beverages those costs can add up quickly and be alot more than $240

Agreed!

I have invited family members (dearly loved sister in law and her kids who could not have afforded to go otherwise) and DD's friends (to provide her with some company) to come with us when we rented a house and didn't charge any extra because the house was paid for to start with.

BUT, your situation is DIFFERENT. This person is a friend who kind of "guilted" you into inviting him. When you invited him, you told him what the cost would be (he's putting your children out of the bedroom by his presence). You were more than fair by dividing it by bedroom. He's being extremely ill mannered and short sighted in his behavior.

As mentioned above, you'd better take meals cooked at home into account as well as any other extras and make sure everybody is on the same page.

 

[stazmatic]

I kinda expected my responses to be more half and half but so far no one has said I should just pay for them. I'm so relieved that I am not crazy.

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

Not only would I not pay, I would tell him that it just isn't going to work out for him to go. At this point, whether he pays or not, someone is going on vacation irritated...him because he had to pay or you because he didn't. I wouldn't want to ruin my family's vacation dealing with that. Good luck no matter what you decide to do.

 

[pixiewings71]

If we invite, we pay for lodging and any food consumed within the lodging. We do not pay for dining out, park tickets (if at Disney), lift tickets (if skiing).

For adults?? Great, invite me to go on vacation with you! LOL

I kinda expected my responses to be more half and half but so far no one has said I should just pay for them. I'm so relieved that I am not crazy.

You are not crazy!!! We have vacationed with my BFF and her DH, we always split costs! Even when it was just DBF, me, her and her DH, we split the hotel cost! We shared a room, DBF and I were going whether they went or not, but they still shared the room cost with us. If he can't pay he shouldn't go, unless this was a gift to him from you and that was made clear when you invited him then he should help pay.

We are talking about going to HI in a year or two, we want to go with my sis and her family, if we go we will use our timeshare points for lodging for both families, but they will pay us back in other ways, like food or souvenirs. Just as an example.

 

[Carlyzmom]

I agree with eveyone that says you should NOT invite him along. You will have more fun with your family ONLY. I can't believe the nerve of some people. You sound like a very nice person and I know it will be hard to get rid of him, but nice people are also sometimes taken advantage of, unfortunately. Good luck.

 

[gillenkl]

DH wanted to invite his brothers and their families to camp with us at disney but then we realized we'd have to pay for their tickets....so we didn't ask them because we knew we couldn't afford to pay for them.

Now we're going camping with them during 4th of July weekend (not disney) - we have already paid for their campsites at $93 each. We offered and they accepted. Do I think they could have come up with the money? yes. Will they offer to pay their share later or even half? Probably not. I just wanted DH to be able to spend some time with his family so we're sucking it up.

I guess my feeling is, with my situation, we won't offer to take anyone with us that we aren't willing to pay for. In the end it will just be a problem.

 

[ndfi78]

Then he doesn't go if he doesn't pay, simple as that. It costs $xx.xx amount for a room for a week and if you don't pay then I'm sorry but you can't stay with us.

I've rented a house in Orlando with friends and we each paid our share of the cost. I would never have expected any one to pay my share because they would have paid the full cost anyway. That's really rude to even suggest.

Ditto, I feel the same way.

 

[indimom]

We are renting a house for our next trip. We asked a friend to come with us because last time we went on vacation he seemed upset that he wasn't invited. The house we are renting is large and if this person goes with he would have his own room and 2 of our boys would sleep in the family room. If he chooses not to go, our boys would get this room. Our boys would probably prefer to sleep in the family room anyway so that is not an issue.

This person asked how much it would be and we said about $240 for the week for the house, plus tickets, food and gas. At first he said yes he wanted to go. Now he is saying that since we are already renting the house even without him that he doesn't feel like he should pay. Money is tight, but he spends money on tons of things he doesn't need. We were pretty speechless when he said that he doesn't feel like he should have to pay. I am not sure how to handle this.

Yes, we can afford to pay his way. But I feel like we are being pressured to pay for it now. We were just trying to be nice because he kept dropping hints that he wanted to go. We feel that $240 is cheap for a 7 night rental. Couldn't get a hotel room for that amount. We took the total amount of the house rental and divided it by the bedrooms to figure out how much it would be.
Pros - one extra driver, a little extra help with the kids (not much)
Cons - losing a bedroom, extra expenses
WWYD?

Thanks guys! Glad to know I am not crazy. Now to figure out what to say so feelings don't get hurt. My main reason for not wanting him to go now is I know I would totally resent the fact that he was there if I was the one paying for everything.

Keep it simple and very clear. "I'm so sorry you can't manage it this time around. Maybe we can do it another year."

This friend first guilted an invitation out of you and now is guilting a free stay out of you. Before this trip is over, you'll be paying for more than this. I guarrantee it. Sorry to say, but your friend is freeloading.

 

[tlbwriter]

We are renting a house for our next trip. We asked a friend to come with us because last time we went on vacation he seemed upset that he wasn't invited.

Even without reading the rest of the post, I could tell you this guy has entitlement issues! No, you should not give him a free ride. I would not bring it up again, and if he does, say "Sorry, you indicated you didn't want to spend the money to go on the trip."

 

[Katy Belle]

Don't worry about hurting his feelings... he didn't worry about being incredibly RUDE to you. I think if you let him come without paying, he will expect you to pay for all food at the house, because you were eating anyway... and all the gas...you were driving anyway... etc, etc. etc.

I don't know how you tell him... or if you should even be willing to let him come at all now... If you are still willing for him to come, maybe figure out what the whole vacation will cost, EVERYTHING... and then tell him his portion, which will be small... say you are unable to pay his way too, but you'd love for him to come if he can pay his portion. No arguing when he says... but you'd be paying for it anyway. Just say, "I'm sorry if you are unable to afford it this time."

Good luck!

 

[BillSears]

Tell him that if he wants to sleep in the bedroom it's $240. If he wants to bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the living room floor it's free.

 

[tinkerbellmagic]

Wow, this guy really does have entitlement issues. Whatever you do, don't allow him to go! There is a reason you didn't ask him to go on your vacations before -- you didn't want him to go, lol! You wanted a nice family vacation. You all deserve it. So he guilts you into an invite and then he complains about it. Wow!

You sound like a very sweet person. You are paying a pretty penny for your vacation. Don't let this person mooch off of you and ruin it for your kids. Just think... you and your family will have the whole house to yourselves. Everyone can be themselves. You won't have to worry about someone else's feelings and what this someone wants to do today and maybe he won't want to do what you guys want to do and maybe he orders the most expensive thing on the menu with the promise to pay you back... who needs it?

Tell him, you talked it over as a family and you guys think this arrangement just isn't working out. Heck, you can even fib about it if you feel awkward and tell him you decided not to go afterall or you are thinking of cancelling because of something else, but then surprise surprise, you go anyhow without the freeloader.

I agree with everyone else here about much of what is said. The only thing I don't agree with is to promise him or imply that you would consider going on a future trip with him. Nip this one in the bud and don't make any promises.

You know it would be different if let's say he was part of a couple or he had kids... making it easier to do things together, but he sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth. Sorry, lol, I don't even know him. I know the type.

You know the song, there must be 50 way to leave your lover? Well, there must be 50 ways to leave your Disney freeloader at home. Good luck and have a great time on your vacation!

tink

 

[tlbwriter]

You know the song, there must be 50 way to leave your lover? Well, there must be 50 ways to leave your Disney freeloader at home.

Just stay at your pad, Tad.

You wouldn't be handy, Andy.

Come up with some money, Sonny.



So, is this guy a friend or family member?

 

[tinkerbellmagic]

You know the song, there must be 50 way to leave your lover? Well, there must be 50 ways to leave your Disney freeloader at home. Good luck and have a great time on your vacation!

Just stay at your pad, Tad.

You wouldn't be handy, Andy.

Come up with some money, Sonny.

 

[luvthemouse71]

This person sounds like a rotten friend- cut him loose. It sounds like it's a very one sided friendship. Don't be afraid, lay down the law.

 

[rockydek]

Only for my immediate family who live on a fixed income...Like my Mom. She is so cute...She bought 20.00 her first time to Disney with us ...5 years ago!

 

[Sinderelly]

Leave him at home. You can't win in this situation. Just tell him your family decided it would be better to spend the time just as a family and don't look back

 

[Friendly Frog]

If he decides to pay, be sure to get your money up front.

A "friend" of my husbands decide to go in halves on a Nascar infield spot and the associated RV costs involved. His half was 800.00. He showed up but never paid us a cent. BTW this guy was wealthy and could easily afford his half.
(Much easier that we could.)

 

[2disneyboys]

nope, would not pay his way. Would simiply say, I'm sorry your not going to be able to make this trip.

If he "turns around" and agree's to the $240.00 I'd make sure it was clear (in writing) exactly what other costs he should plan to be prepared for (food out, tickets, souvies... etc)

I have paid for friends/family on vacation, but I do that invite a seperate way. "we'd love to be able to host you on vacation with us.. here is the details, I need to know by xyz date if you can make it.
I have inivted friends/family to join us (with thempaying all or part of their costs.. that wording is something like ... we are going on vacation xyz date.. it's be awesome if you/your family could also go then... here is where you can get info on the costs....

I would stand firm on this one... as several pp's listed..anything you "do" for this trip its going to be assumed by him (cuz he's so rude) that it would go for future vacations...

 

[Nik's Mom]

We have paid for family members to go on vacation before. We paid for airfare for dh's nephew and niece to go to WDW. My MIL and FIL also came along and they paid for all of the other expenses for them. We were clear in what we were going to pay for and it was no problem for dh's SIL. The other time we paid was to send my parents to Hawaii for their 40th anniversary. The cost of the trip was split was split between my sister and I. My parents only had to pay for their food and tours that they went on.

There have been other occations where we have gone on vacation with dh's family, but they have paid their own way. It's never been an issue.

Op, it sounds like your friend is acting a little spoiled. Cut him loose. He will be a wet blanket for the entire trip.