Do you pay for other family members on vacation?

[here757]

wow.. this is the guy that is gonna get down there and suddenly remember he left his wallet and then proced to make u pay for all his stuff. to include suvies for all his family...

dont do it! dont ruin a trip for you boys.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Well, to answer the original question, I guess I'd have to say yes. In that situation, I wouldn't charge for the space. I think it's different when two families split a house rental, but for an extra person, I doubt I'd ever charge for space. DD is actually going with another family for Spring Break, and they are driving. We are only paying for park tickets, meals, and spending money. Honestly, I would have felt it odd if they asked for us to pay for part of their house rental.


Now, I'm really surprised at this friend's audacity though. If I were him, I'd just be grateful that I was invited. It just seems like he has a general freeloading attitude- he invites himself on your vacation, and then wants to set terms?

 

[ChisJo]

wow...wow...wow...

Let this guy stay at home! Do not ruin your trip because of his selfishness. His entitlement to this trip is astounding! Its your family, and he was upset that he didn't go in the past???? Unless he is a foster child in your home, or you are the primary custodians for a family member who is underage and is living in your house, I would run the other way from this freeloading person. He is not deserving ANYTHING from you.

I have travelled with freeloading friends and I will NOT ever do it again. It is frustrating, and can damage friendships. I travelled with someone who angered me so badly, that I couldn't spend the last couple of days with them in Orlando. It was awful that we were still sharing a house together. They refused to pay for the car, before any of that happened, because they weren't able to drive it. They didn't think that me driving them all over the place counted.

Don't do it. He will take advantage of every single situation, and since you sound like such nice people, you will probably give in to him because of your kids - you won't want them to in an uncomfortable situation in WDW. Make it a family vacation and forget the freeloader.

 

[pigletto]

We are renting a house for our next trip. We asked a friend to come with us because last time we went on vacation he seemed upset that he wasn't invited. The house we are renting is large and if this person goes with he would have his own room and 2 of our boys would sleep in the family room. If he chooses not to go, our boys would get this room. Our boys would probably prefer to sleep in the family room anyway so that is not an issue.

This person asked how much it would be and we said about $240 for the week for the house, plus tickets, food and gas. At first he said yes he wanted to go. Now he is saying that since we are already renting the house even without him that he doesn't feel like he should pay. Money is tight, but he spends money on tons of things he doesn't need. We were pretty speechless when he said that he doesn't feel like he should have to pay. I am not sure how to handle this.

Yes, we can afford to pay his way. But I feel like we are being pressured to pay for it now. We were just trying to be nice because he kept dropping hints that he wanted to go. We feel that $240 is cheap for a 7 night rental. Couldn't get a hotel room for that amount. We took the total amount of the house rental and divided it by the bedrooms to figure out how much it would be.
Pros - one extra driver, a little extra help with the kids (not much)
Cons - losing a bedroom, extra expenses
WWYD?

I have only read your initial post and none of the replies so forgive me if I am repeating (and I have a feeling I will be) but....
Then he can stay home

Sorry.. but he sounds like he'd be no fun to vacation with. 240 is absolutely reasonable to expect him to pay. And furthermore.. who whines about not being invited on someone elses vacation???
No brainer.. I'd uninvite him in a heartbeat.

 

[pigletto]

And to add.. I have been taken on vacation and taken others on vacation. That is an entirely different thing to say "We'd love to take you on vacation with us .. Our treat". That wasn't what happened here. He whined to get himself invited and then expects you to foot the bill? How old is he? 12?

 

[lawone]

Sounds like a set up for a miserable time to me! Even if he agrees to pay the $240 I can just envision this.... really? They want how much for a burger? How much did you say those tix are? etc......

I say cut him loose. Better to have hard feelings now than to have hard feelings THERE + a headache to deal with...

 

[MMmomto5]

He is rude and thoughtless, and you are better off without him. He may have initially thought you meant you would pick up the tab for his portion of the lodging, but when you clarified that his share would be $240, he could have done/said a number of things...

1. He could have kept his rude thoughts to himself and let you know at a later date that he isn't in the financial position to go and left it at that.

2. He could have let you know that his financial position is tough, and could have offered what money he could afford and volunteered to sleep on the couch.

3. He could have realized that your offer was generous and that even at $240 plus his other costs, he was getting a great deal because your knowledge and planning was setting him up for a great time.

But... he chose to put you in a situation that has you questioning yourself and feeling bad. If he isn't worried about insulting you, then why be concerned about what he thinks now? Go and have a great time.

 

[cdrn1]

If the question really is "do you pay for others?" the answer is yes. I am blessed and fortunate (through VERY hard work) to have a stable financial situation. My s.o., however, refuses to travel, which I love to do. I routinely either flat out pay for or surrepticiously subsidize vacations for family members (daughters, grandkids, sisters, parents) and also for a good friend with whom I love to travel, but she can't afford to travel the way I like to travel. I enjoy their company, want them to come, and budget so I can take them. And I don't for a minute resent that I pay.

If the question is "should I pay for this guy?" I think the answer is probably no. He asked you, not the other way around, and reniged when he didn't like the answer and that smacks of freeloading.

 

[defendthehill]

We are renting a house for our next trip. We asked a friend to come with us because last time we went on vacation he seemed upset that he wasn't invited. The house we are renting is large and if this person goes with he would have his own room and 2 of our boys would sleep in the family room. If he chooses not to go, our boys would get this room. Our boys would probably prefer to sleep in the family room anyway so that is not an issue.

This person asked how much it would be and we said about $240 for the week for the house, plus tickets, food and gas. At first he said yes he wanted to go. Now he is saying that since we are already renting the house even without him that he doesn't feel like he should pay. Money is tight, but he spends money on tons of things he doesn't need. We were pretty speechless when he said that he doesn't feel like he should have to pay. I am not sure how to handle this.

Yes, we can afford to pay his way. But I feel like we are being pressured to pay for it now. We were just trying to be nice because he kept dropping hints that he wanted to go. We feel that $240 is cheap for a 7 night rental. Couldn't get a hotel room for that amount. We took the total amount of the house rental and divided it by the bedrooms to figure out how much it would be.
Pros - one extra driver, a little extra help with the kids (not much)
Cons - losing a bedroom, extra expenses
WWYD?

I have not read a single response to this. I had to answer after just reading the original post.

Vacations cost money....they are not for free loading. You asked WWID.... Tell him to pay his share or he will have to stay home. It absolutely does not matter if there is no extra cost in the house rental...or gas money. I can't believe this person is your friend. Sounds like an incredibly self centered, selfish, free loading......I could go on but I will refrain!!

 

[defendthehill]

Thanks guys! Glad to know I am not crazy. Now to figure out what to say so feelings don't get hurt. My main reason for not wanting him to go now is I know I would totally resent the fact that he was there if I was the one paying for everything.

After responding to the OP....I am now reading others comments and I am glad to see most say do not pay for this. And I would advise this as well....hurting his feelings is ok...that does not mean to be mean spirited. But if he walks away from a conversation that tells him NO....he will walk away with hurt feelings. Which is none of your concern. Maybe it will help him grow up a little.

 

[Darcy03231]

Yes, I have paid for family members to go on vacation, but I invited them with the intention of paying.

In 2007 I rented a house and asked my sister and her family and my mom to join me. I covered the cost of the house, and everyone paid for their own tickets and we split the cost of food for the house.

In 2008 I took my niece for her first trip and paid for everything.

In 2009 I took another niece and paid for everything.

Having said that I would tell this so-called "friend" to take a hike. You didn't invite him, he invited himself. He can't afford to/doesn't want to help pay he can stay home.

 

[SoonerSarah]

We are renting a 6 bedroom house for our Disney trip. MIL and FIL are coming, as is BIL. BIL was told upfront (before we had actually decided on where we were staying, but knowing that we would stay off-site), that his portion would be $300 for housing. My parents may go as well, and originally they were asked to equally split the costs with us and MIL/FIL. It looks like they won't be able to go, but if they are, I ended up telling them that we would rather them be able to go then have to worry about the cost of the house. My sisters were also invited, and they were told that housing for them would be free as well. We were going to have the same house anyway, and they would still have all of their tickets and food and travel to pay for. And they are college students.

However, that I think is a completely different situation. He sounds like a freeloader. I would tell him that he can either pay his portion of the house, or if he really feels the need to come along for the trip, then he can search for his own lodging. I'm willing to bet that he would rather pay the $240, or just not go.

 

[disykat]

Just stay at your pad, Tad.

You wouldn't be handy, Andy.

Come up with some money, Sonny.



So, is this guy a friend or family member?

Don't be a freeloader, Schroeder.

You can sleep in a tent, Kent.


this is fun!

 

[crisi]

We often do pay, but that isn't the point here.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm afraid there was a miscommunication. Last time we went it sounded like you'd love to go an be open to splitting expenses - so we thought maybe this would make it more affordable for you and we'd all have a great time. But obviously, if the $240 for the house would be a burden, the tickets and food would be out of the question. I'm really sorry I put you into this position. My boys will be happy to say in the bedroom instead of the hideabed." (Even if they like the family room).

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

Don't be a freeloader, Schroeder.

You can sleep in a tent, Kent.


this is fun!

You won't ride on my back, Jack
Don't be a cheat, Pete
Break out the dough, Joe

 

[3pletprincesses]

Would I pay for him.... helllll no.

Do I pay for others, I sure do. I'm taking my sister for a sister trip in August. we have spoken about it many times and I thought it would be appropriate for me to pay her a trip to Disney as her college grad gift. She has been wanting to go for so long but we all know how expesive school is.

 

[StitchBuddy]

People never cease to amaze me!! I would just say we re-thought it and decided that we want a family only vacation. Maybe he will get the hint! We have learned the hard way that vacations are generally more fun when we go alone. If someone else goes with us, they must have their own accommadations. Just works out best for us. We like our down time. Good luck!

 

[kirstenb1]

Thanks guys! Glad to know I am not crazy. Now to figure out what to say so feelings don't get hurt. My main reason for not wanting him to go now is I know I would totally resent the fact that he was there if I was the one paying for everything.

I would just call him, and say you're sorry the cost is an issue for him. "I'm sorry, it sounds like this is outside your budget this time. Maybe we could try again another time." (when H!!! freezes over, but no need to mention that!)

 

[MamaJessie]

Who wants to vacation with a pouter? It will always be something with a person like that!

Great point!!!!!!!

Tell him that if he wants to sleep in the bedroom it's $240. If he wants to bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the living room floor it's free.

He is rude and thoughtless, and you are better off without him. He may have initially thought you meant you would pick up the tab for his portion of the lodging, but when you clarified that his share would be $240, he could have done/said a number of things...

1. He could have kept his rude thoughts to himself and let you know at a later date that he isn't in the financial position to go and left it at that.

2. He could have let you know that his financial position is tough, and could have offered what money he could afford and volunteered to sleep on the couch.

3. He could have realized that your offer was generous and that even at $240 plus his other costs, he was getting a great deal because your knowledge and planning was setting him up for a great time.

But... he chose to put you in a situation that has you questioning yourself and feeling bad. If he isn't worried about insulting you, then why be concerned about what he thinks now? Go and have a great time.

ITA!!

I looked at a house I'd like to rent with my brother and his family one year and sent them an email saying something like "We should rent this sometime" so right off the bat it is out in the open that it is a joint venture (not that my brother would ever freeload - ever. I digress) I have told my sister if she wants to visit us for a couple days while we are on vacation she is more than welcome to, and I would not charge her, because I invited her and would not be renting something larger to accomodate her (like I would if it was my brother and his family)

 

[rainy~daze]

I'm on the fence here.

Sounds like he was told right up front what his portion would be and he agreed. He now seems like a jerk backing you into a corner where you feel obligated to let him have his way, which will ruin your trip cause you will be resentful the whole time.

However, if he is a close friend, I may try to find a better compromise. Not free room and travel, but maybe a better structuring of how payment can be split. Like if there are 6 of you (5 in your family and him) split the total cost 6 ways, then you pay 5/6 and he pays 1/6. Same with gas.

If you think it will be too awkward to travel with him now, tell him that and why. He had no problem putting you on the spot with his request, be honest with him. Tell him "I was taken back a bit when you said you shouldn't have to pay for the place since we are already paying for it, yeah, we are, but if you are sleeping and eating there, you are benefiting from the house too and should pay a part. If that's not comfortable for you, maybe you could make your own travel arrangements and we could just meet up in the parks. Or maybe another time when we are in a better financial place to pay your way we can invite you then."