1000% agree. The way that many of us die in this country is a sin.
We're going through all of this right now. My MIL is almost 88....had a couple of strokes a couple of years back and has gone through a slow decline in the years since. The frequency of hospitalizations increased and then about two months ago she went in after a fall at home and was transferred to a rehab facility to regain her mobility two weeks later. Well that was six weeks ago and it's been determined that she will not regain the ability to stand/walk...and so the decision has been made to admit her permanently as a resident of the long term care facility....same place, just other side of the building. My husband and I looked into bringing her home with private care, but the price is astronomical. The only other option would have been to find someone "off the books", and by the time we began looking into that my MIL started to get increasingly confused and yelling out. And so we had to look out for both of them and made the decision to admit her permanently.
And so my in-laws do have a LTC policy, and in their circumstance, it's not going to help them at all. They took it out over 30 years ago....no idea what their premiums were. But in their case....it was money wasted. It will help the nursing home out a bit, but not much. I don't know what they paid for the policy, but they took out the policy in their early to mid-60s. It pays $80 a day, or $2400 a month for about 6 years. The cost of the nursing home (in NJ) is over $13,000 a month....and it's not what I'd consider to be a very good one....it's mediocre. It was chosen by my FIL because we have a family member there who works in admissions....and that made him feel better....and so we wanted to support his decision. The really nice ones around here are a part of Life Care facilities....where you plunk down hundreds of thousands of dollars and start out in an apartment....the assisted living facility and long term care facility are on site at those places....presumably for when you need them.
Now we're in the process of learning about the "Medicaid Spend Down"....which is a world we had no idea about. Basically, my in-laws own their home outright (about 350K) and have about 180K left (in a savings account and IRA), and social security. They were amazing savers but very, very conservative investors throughout their working lives....and they retired in 1998, and got aggressive based on the advice of a "financial advisor".....well, we many of us know what the market did in 2000-2001....went down over 50%....and that's when they panicked, and pulled their money out. I'm honestly amazed they still have 180K left as the money hasn't been invested in over twenty years. They were able to enjoy their retirement though....took a number of trips on their own dime, with us funding a few in their later years.
So now...with my FIL an incredibly healthy 91 (could easily live another 10 years+), is called a "spouse in the community".....and since the house is under the medicaid threshold....he gets to keep the house. The other 180K now gets split in half, he keeps 90K and his social security. The other 90K and my MIL's Social Security goes to the nursing home.....but, then we learned about the "spend down". And while it kind of feels shady....this is apparently what everyone does.....you quickly buy approved items/repairs....to "spend down" my MIL's side....essentially as fast as you can... before the nursing home gets it. It's really a terrible plan, and has to be a big part of the reason that LTC is sooooo expensive, and that over 60% of all LTC residents are fully on medicaid. The wild part is that the nursing home referred us to a "Medicaid Application Agency"....to *help* us with the application, but also the spend down. Also...conveniently for this company....their $7,800 fee is considered a part of the spend down. So...now we're looking to upgrade my FIL's car, get him a new roof and other large expenditures. It's just nuts.
As for my husband and I....we're not getting LTC insurance. We're in a position to afford home care and/or a LTC facility and pay out of pocket. We're both extremely adamant that we don't want to die in a place like that....but understand that it sometimes happens and is out of one's control.