Do you have fun money or an allowance?

[labdogs42]

We have fun money. We just find it better for each of us to have some of our "own" money that we can spend without asking the other person or messing up our joint account. I use my money for things like Vera Bradley bags, scrapbooking supplies, and fancy coffee drinks. DH uses his for DVD's, lunches out, and golf. These are just examples. We use the "family" money for vacations, bills, mortgage, etc. So, really it isn't much different except that we keep a little stash for each of us to spend as we please. We can save for a while and buy something big or spend as we go. It really works well for us. My kid has his own money now, too. He is learning what things are worth it to him to spend his money on as well. Again, it works for us.

 

[ccgirl]

I keep reading on different threads about blow or fun money, or weekly allowances. Just wondering how many of you have these?

We do not do this, as I find the concept to be wasteful spending. All of our accounts are joint accounts, so if we need to purchase big things, they are reviewed and agreed upon by both of us. Middle of the road stuff, like new shoes for the kids or clothes, are mostly purchased by us together, as we shop together, but I do make online clothing purchases that DH doesn't know about, as I am mostly responsible for the kids' wardrobes. And we don't purchase things like coffee, fast food, manicures, etc. which is stuff that I see fun money being spent on.

Hubby has struggled with spending issues in the past - he has gotten much, much better, as they are emotional in nature, stemming from bad family issues, so if he had an allowance or fun money, it would get wasted, and this would bother me. I am a pretty mature and responsible gal, so the whole concept of money that gets spent on frivolous purchases just escapes me. I know DH would probably like it, but not having it helps him, as he would waste money on little things that he didn't need like chocolate bars or milkshakes, as he used to do this, and it was a problem.

At this point, I am in charge of finances, as I have no impulse or control issues, but neither of us really sees the need for individual fun money accounts/allowances, so I was just wondering how many of you do that, and why?

Tiger

Fun money is just for that. Funy. You may see manicures as frivolous and some don't (me included). If you can afford it, and it's in your budget why not? Some would rather spend money on manicures etc and some would like to go to WDW. SOme would consider vacation to WDW frivolous. IF you work and work and never spend the money what good is it?

 

[chris31997]

I am one that spends $20 to get my nails done about every three weeks, nails grow slow . Anyway, it is my time away and it makes me feel good. So, for my family it is money well spent. It is also budgeted for.

We do have a blow fund: it is for anything we forgot to budget for like a b-day party or a movie or something came up at DH's work.

We also use cash for everything except the bills, those are paid online.

I think want you do and what we do is very similar. We just call things differantly. it is called personal finance for a reason. It is personal. What works for us, is not going to work for someone else.

 

[MaggieBailey]

We follow Dave Ramsey's plan pretty much to a t, and in it he talks about the "fun" money. We budget everything: food, car repairs, household bills, clothing, every little thing! There is no room in that budget for a new dvd or an ice cream, which is why there is a separate category for that. He calls it "blow money" but I don't like how that sounds, haha, so we call it fun money. So on my way to work, if I want a coffee, I can stop and use "my" money to get it. If he is leaving the gym and wants a smoothie, he gets it with his. This works out great for us! If we want to go out to eat, we use the grocery budget and work it in. If it turns out where we want to eat is too expensive and we won't have enough in the grocery budget, we do it the next month. It's really a great plan that keeps us on track.

 

[Tiger926]

Thanks for all responses...too many to respond to individually.

I wasn't bragging or judging, nor being arrogant at all. I didn't say that I had some special system that was better than other people either. Not sure how anyone got there....? Just trying to wrap my head around what actually constitutes fun money or allowance. Even on this thread, there are many definitions: some use it for gifts, some for personal stuff like manicures, and some use it for a variety of personal purchases with no responsiblility to their spouses. We spread our purchases around in the budget, depending upon what it is. A milkshake is food, so it goes under food. A magazine subscription is entertainment, and so on.

Some of you have made me realize maybe we just call it something different? At the end of the month, we do have extra or fun purchases, so I guess in that respect, it's in there. I was more talking about individual or private fun money that is separate from each spouse - we don't do that.

As point of clarification:

1. I don't online shop without him knowing about it altogether...I will mention that I bought kids some shirts, they cost $20.00 and they will arrive in a few days. He is too busy to deal with kids' wardrobes, so mainly that's my job.

2. Our budget is pretty detailed, and things like entertainment are very small. I consider our satellite TV and Internet to come out of that, and things like museum or zoo passes. We don't go to movies, concerts, etc., so it's a very small budget overall. We also have a vacation budget, so that's good in that respect. I really wasn't judging those get manicures, as that's not my business to do, but I have a hard time wrapping that into my budget, as I can do those at home for free.

3. I really don't think commenting on my marriage is appropriate, but isn't that the DIS way! Not sure if people read that hubby has struggled with money, and has some emotional issues, so we have to work out whatever strategies make for a positive day for him. Me being in charge of the budget, works much better for our household, and our marriage. We are finally on the same page for the first time in a long time, and when you have someone with emotional/mood issues, this is a big step. We each complement each other, but we still have work to do...I am frugal, so he rubs off on me in certain areas, and that helps me lighten things up a bit. My parents were very frugal, and so I was brought up very differently than him, so it's a work in progress for us, as when we married, one of us was a spender and one a saver.

I spoke to DH about it again this morning, and he honestly said he doesn't see a need for it, as we discuss most, if not all purchases, and this works for us. We pretty much get what we need, so DH said he doesn't need a $6.00 milkshake everyday. I consult him on everything, whereas, he needs much work in that department, as communication is tough for him, but with this system, we talk much more about our finances then we ever have. Plus, we never fight about finances either. Yes, he can buy a milkshake or chocolate bar once in awhile, but not on a regular basis as we have those items at home. That's where I'm coming from.

This way works for us, as it allows for us to work things out together, make budgets, lists, etc. It might not work for many of you, but it works for us!

Thanks for the discussion, Tiger

 

[dvcgirl]

I think that the OP has "fun money", her family just calls it something else. We call it "discretionary spending". We don't have an "allowance" within that category. We do tend to discuss larger purchases....especially if they are spontaneous or a "day out" kind of thing. And I would say that we discuss "spending on the fly"...if the amount is over $50. But there are many when DH will forward me a receipt from Amazon...that he's purchased a couple of books or whatever (because I keep track of discretionary and grocery spending...everything else is on auto-pilot).

One of the first things that the OP said was that her DH had some "spending issues" years back, and I think that would explain her micromanagement style (which she openly admitted by the way). But as many others have said, what works for one family may not work for another. And in my opinion, as long as you're saving adequately for retirement (15-20% if you don't have a rock-solid pension), out of consumer debt with just the mortgage....then whatever works....go with it, and stick with it.

It's funny, during the "Go-Go" years in the middle of the last decade, people got in trouble for having CC debt around here, now they're in trouble for spending *budgeted* "fun money". Things sure have changed in our world .

 

[rnorwo1]

We don't, but I need to start it. I am obsessive and judgmental about how DH spends money, ha ha! We have the money to spend, we have no debt other than our house and we are on track for paying that off very early, we're good with retirement for our ages, we have extra money left over each month, etc. But oh man, it KILLS me if he stops and "wastes" $4 on donuts and chocolate milk!! I don't know why I'm like that, I just think he should only want to spend money on things that I do! If he could just have some petty cash that I would not have to see come up on our bank account with the debit card, then maybe I can keep my mouth shut to the poor guy! The truly sad thing is that he really is very conservative/frugal naturally, so he does not need to be micro-managed at all.

We don't fight about this stuff, by the way, the conversations are me "fussing" at him (while laughing) and he usually responds with something like "I can spend the $4 because I'm the king around here" and we just laugh it off. But it really does bug me and I just need to get over it! Fun money for both of us may help me to chill out.

 

[Poohforyou]

What I don't understand is if the way the OP is doing things works for her DH and her why is she trying to wrap her head around why other people spend their money differently.

 

[Tiger926]

What I don't understand is if the way the OP is doing things works for her DH and her why is she trying to wrap her head around why other people spend their money differently.

Well, as I said, I was just wondering if this is something that we may need to look at as our budget changes? I keep reading in different threads about fun money or an allowance, so I wanted to see what other people do, who are budget minded like myself.

I realized though as the thread progressed, that I was more talking about the actual separate fun money allowances that many people on here seem to have.

Thanks, Tina

 

[disney1990]

I keep reading on different threads about blow or fun money, or weekly allowances. Just wondering how many of you have these?

We do not do this, as I find the concept to be wasteful spending. All of our accounts are joint accounts, so if we need to purchase big things, they are reviewed and agreed upon by both of us. Middle of the road stuff, like new shoes for the kids or clothes, are mostly purchased by us together, as we shop together, but I do make online clothing purchases that DH doesn't know about, as I am mostly responsible for the kids' wardrobes. And we don't purchase things like coffee, fast food, manicures, etc. which is stuff that I see fun money being spent on. For me, since I can paint nails at home or make a cup of coffee for way cheaper, it's hard for me to justify fun spending money on these types of things.

Hubby has struggled with spending issues in the past - he has gotten much, much better, as they are emotional in nature, stemming from bad family issues, so if he had an allowance or fun money, it would get wasted, and this would bother me. I am a pretty mature and responsible gal, so the whole concept of money that gets spent on frivolous purchases just escapes me, as I would put mine into the savings account. Not having cash helps him, as he would waste money on little things that he didn't need like chocolate bars or milkshakes, as he used to do this, and it was a problem due to self control issues. So, he'd go and get gas, and instead of just getting gas, he'd buy 3 chocolate bars at the gas station, and eat those for lunch or a snack. These little purchases can end up costing a lot at the end of the month, so I need to watch this area.

At this point, I am in charge of finances, as I have no impulse or control issues, but neither of us really sees the need for individual fun money accounts/allowances, so I was just wondering how many of you do that, and why?

Tiger

DH & I maintain separate checking accounts. We control the money that we each put into those accounts -- we each have bills that we pay. Big purchases (over $100) come out of our joint savings account and are discussed.

 

[WebRanger9]

Tiger,

I think it would go a long way for you to sit your DH down during/after you finish working your budget and show him where things sit and where the family's money is allocated.

My DW was very much like your DH at the beginning of our relationship, and had accumulated a decent amount of credit card debt because of it. Showing her how to budget and how to be a little disciplined went a long way, but actually *involving* her in the process helped.

Once we were married, we ran the budget *together*. We look at things on a weekly basis, pay bills, log receipts, and have a budget spreadsheet that allocates our money for us. More recently, we handle these things as we have time (2 kids take the time away), but we *always* sync up weekly (takes 5 minutes, tops) on where we stand.

And yes, we budget an allowance in. As well as pocket money for the week. All on a single income in the DC area. But, the key is information and communication.

 

[mrodgers]

I would consider "fun money" and "blow money" different things. Fun money is money set aside in an account or on paper for the family to do something fun. It can be vacation money or separate from vacation money for example, money put aside for summer entertainment like taking the kids to the amusement park or going out to the movies. Fun money would pretty much be the same thing as an entertainment budget.

"Blow money" is what Dave Ramsey calls and allowance. It is simple an amount of money you take out for in your pocket. How frustrating would it be to be at work where it is 105 degrees with 99% humidity like it is for me today and dying of thirst and just wanting to get a Gatorade out of the machine but can't because you have no pocket money?

We don't do an allowance, but are planning it for the future. You can't just go to the machine at work and get a drink if all your money is in the bank account. You can't just take it from household or entertainment or where ever because that is not money that is sitting in your pocket. That is all the allowance or "blow money" is, money in your pocket so you don't have to use budgeted money set aside for more important things to buy yourself a Coke if you want a Coke.

We currently don't have blow money because all our money is tied up in bills and credit payment. If my wife who works weekends forgets her lunch for working 9 hours in the middle of the day is out of luck because we don't have the $5 sitting in the checking account for her to just run to Subway to grab a sandwich (all the checking money is currently all being sent out in bills.) If I want a Gatorade to drink, like today, it is freakin hot here, I'm out of luck because I have no pocket money.

That is all an allowance or blow money is really for. Some folks have a small amount so that they can go to lunch with their coworkers now and then or buy a drink at work and some folks have larger amounts that they save up and use to fund hobby related stuff for example.

 

[angierae]

I like the term "pocket money". Money to keep in your pocket for little things that come up. Your coworkers decide to take a walk and get ice cream, or you want a pop out of the vending machine, or a book catches your eye, or whatever. I know a coworker and her husband each get $20 a week. He generally spends his on eating lunch out. She saves hers, and then when she gets a couple hundred she goes and buys scrapbooking stuff. Then he goes "Where did you get all that money!?" and she points out that she saved it up.

 

[Tiger926]

Tiger,

I think it would go a long way for you to sit your DH down during/after you finish working your budget and show him where things sit and where the family's money is allocated.

My DW was very much like your DH at the beginning of our relationship, and had accumulated a decent amount of credit card debt because of it. Showing her how to budget and how to be a little disciplined went a long way, but actually *involving* her in the process helped.

Once we were married, we ran the budget *together*. We look at things on a weekly basis, pay bills, log receipts, and have a budget spreadsheet that allocates our money for us. More recently, we handle these things as we have time (2 kids take the time away), but we *always* sync up weekly (takes 5 minutes, tops) on where we stand.

And yes, we budget an allowance in. As well as pocket money for the week. All on a single income in the DC area. But, the key is information and communication.

I'm not sure why you would think that is not the way it is set up? All of my responses have said we have come to this plan together, and we consult each other on all purchases. We set the budget up together...it's not my budget, I just happen to be the keeper of it, as hubby struggles with details, and because he is a banker, and does not want to deal with that at home, since he deals with numbers and budgets all day. He does a much better job at work, but when he gets home, he's tired (aren't we all), and so when he was the main keeper of the budget, things would get missed, bills paid out of wrong account, etc. Now, it's all set and working properly, as I handle the minute details, but he knows exactly how much all bills are, as we do most of our shopping together as well.

I would consider "fun money" and "blow money" different things. Fun money is money set aside in an account or on paper for the family to do something fun. It can be vacation money or separate from vacation money for example, money put aside for summer entertainment like taking the kids to the amusement park or going out to the movies. Fun money would pretty much be the same thing as an entertainment budget.

"Blow money" is what Dave Ramsey calls and allowance. It is simple an amount of money you take out for in your pocket. How frustrating would it be to be at work where it is 105 degrees with 99% humidity like it is for me today and dying of thirst and just wanting to get a Gatorade out of the machine but can't because you have no pocket money?

We don't do an allowance, but are planning it for the future. You can't just go to the machine at work and get a drink if all your money is in the bank account. You can't just take it from household or entertainment or where ever because that is not money that is sitting in your pocket. That is all the allowance or "blow money" is, money in your pocket so you don't have to use budgeted money set aside for more important things to buy yourself a Coke if you want a Coke.

We currently don't have blow money because all our money is tied up in bills and credit payment. If my wife who works weekends forgets her lunch for working 9 hours in the middle of the day is out of luck because we don't have the $5 sitting in the checking account for her to just run to Subway to grab a sandwich (all the checking money is currently all being sent out in bills.) If I want a Gatorade to drink, like today, it is freakin hot here, I'm out of luck because I have no pocket money.

That is all an allowance or blow money is really for. Some folks have a small amount so that they can go to lunch with their coworkers now and then or buy a drink at work and some folks have larger amounts that they save up and use to fund hobby related stuff for example.

I like the term "pocket money". Money to keep in your pocket for little things that come up. Your coworkers decide to take a walk and get ice cream, or you want a pop out of the vending machine, or a book catches your eye, or whatever. I know a coworker and her husband each get $20 a week. He generally spends his on eating lunch out. She saves hers, and then when she gets a couple hundred she goes and buys scrapbooking stuff. Then he goes "Where did you get all that money!?" and she points out that she saved it up.

Good explanations. We do not carry cash at all, so we can't partake in things like this. Neither of us likes carrying cash, so we don't do these kinds of things, but since hubby is a banker, he has access to any cash he wants, so he can buy his staff coffee or go out for lunch, as he just takes it from the account when he needs it.

As I mentioned, we don't have separate funds that each of us gets each week to blow as we wish.

Thanks, Tiger

 

[amez]

I am a housewife so my husband is the breadwinner. I handle alll the finances, not because one of us is better or worse, but it just works out well for us--guess we figure money falls under my job of taking care of the home. We decided a few years ago to set up another account so my husband could have his own money/allowance/fun money etc. It is actually attached to our main account and I just transfer his money over once a month. He uses it for fun stuff, gas, if he eats lunch out, coffee, he sometimes will take the family out to eat etc. It is just so much easier then trying to track the spending in the main account and he never ever has to have me question a purchase-which I was guilty of doing in the past if he spent from the main account. When he gets a bonus we decide on an amount to put in his account as well.


I don't have my own money persay-I just budget what I need from the account --haircuts, kids clothes etc.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

This thread is making me want a milkshake.

DH & I don't get an allowance. Well, not anymore. Our budgeting strategies have gone through many versions over the years and one of those versions included allowances but that didn't work for us. I think we finally have a system that works.

DH & I have finance meetings twice a month that correspond with our paydays (we both get paid on the 15th and last day of the month). We go over all our finances and make decisions accordingly. We first ensure that we are "paying ourselves first" by making sure we are on track for retirement savings, emergency & general & vacation savings and college savings. We'll go over the regular bills that will be paid with that paycheck (mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc) and then budget for variable expenses such as groceries, gas, dry cleaning, etc. We both know where we stand cash-wise. If DH wants to go to GNC to get fitness supplements or buy a book or I want to go out to lunch with friends we just do it. We don't have to check in with each other. Any large expenditures ---- we'd love to buy a new TV ---- would be discussed, planned and agreed upon.

I used to handle all the finances by myself and it is SO much nicer having DH on board too ---- it makes us both feel better to know our whole financial picture at all times.

 

[marie1203]

We do get fun money but it is not divided between the two of us or put into a different account. We use the money to go out for dinner, go to the movies, etc. If DH wants to buy a milkshake he can. I handle the finances so he always tells me when he spends money not because he has to explain, but because a few years ago we got some small charges in the credit card thinking it was him I didn't check I just paid it. Well it turns out to be someone got our cc number and the next month there where more small charges and a $29.99 charge, so I checked with him turn out neither one of us had use that card when I call the cc company most of the charges where from another state. He never checks our accounts, but he knows how to in case something happens. He really doesn't have time. I usually give him a quick overview of how our month is going, what are the extras of that month, etc. It works for us.
I will never consider that a waste of money. I can't imagine being frugal that we can't enjoy anything. I think it is important to save, but having a balance. Tomorrow might never come.

 

[NancyIL]

Everyone should have some "personal spending money" that they don't have to account for to anyone else. When it's gone - it's gone.

 

[sheldonsmom]

My husband and I do not have any joint accounts . We both work and decided together how much we each should contribute to the household bills, savings, etc. Because I am better with money , he writes me a check for his share of the bills when he gets paid, I deposit it in my account, and pay the bills from there. The money left over is his to use as he pleases, and mine is used as I please.....it works perfectly and we NEVER fight about money.

But, to each their own.....