Do you have fun money or an allowance?

[lisaross]

Yes, i also am in charg of all the budgeting, but we each get $200.00 a month to use on whatever we want - lunches, shopping, etc.

I keep reading on different threads about blow or fun money, or weekly allowances. Just wondering how many of you have these?

We do not do this, as I find the concept to be wasteful spending. All of our accounts are joint accounts, so if we need to purchase big things, they are reviewed and agreed upon by both of us. Middle of the road stuff, like new shoes for the kids or clothes, are mostly purchased by us together, as we shop together, but I do make online clothing purchases that DH doesn't know about, as I am mostly responsible for the kids' wardrobes. And we don't purchase things like coffee, fast food, manicures, etc. which is stuff that I see fun money being spent on.

Hubby has struggled with spending issues in the past - he has gotten much, much better, as they are emotional in nature, stemming from bad family issues, so if he had an allowance or fun money, it would get wasted, and this would bother me. I am a pretty mature and responsible gal, so the whole concept of money that gets spent on frivolous purchases just escapes me. I know DH would probably like it, but not having it helps him, as he would waste money on little things that he didn't need like chocolate bars or milkshakes, as he used to do this, and it was a problem.

At this point, I am in charge of finances, as I have no impulse or control issues, but neither of us really sees the need for individual fun money accounts/allowances, so I was just wondering how many of you do that, and why?

Tiger

 

[Flo's Mum]

Exactly. In fact this issue just came up..not the gift but the need for 'allowances". DH hardly ever spends money, but when he does, he does it without thinking of where it is coming from..we keep the budget pretty lean, so really..I don't have much extra room unless I know ahead for things and can plan. This week: ended up going to a baby shower I didn't think I'd be included in and DD and I went in on gift, but I paid, so there was $40 debit gone not counted on..then..saw a clearance at Walmart on HP Legos, great gifts for 2 DGS, so $40 debit more gone. Wiggle room now pretty much gone. So, when DH decides spur of the moment without me being around to know about it to take DD and DBIL out to breakfast, that was another $30 debit not counted on. So much for the cushion I keep for things that pop up. He has never wanted to get cash weekly, but I'm forcing it on him now so he can do these little things when he wants without me having to budget it. Yes, I know I spent also, but the difference is I do all the finances and know what the cushion is..he just whips out the debit card and has no clue if there is any cushion there or not. So..Cash for him from now on

Just wanted to say that this scenario sounds very familiar to me! Can't get him to just CHECK THE BALANCE before he spends

 

[clutter]

Yes, ITA.

I only get one shot at this life and there is no extra points for depriving myself just because I can.

I wonder if it's partly an age/income thing.

I remember when I DID get extra points for depriving myself, simply because I HAD to to make ends meet and still save some money for fun stuff. (Travel back in the day...)

But now that I'm more comfortable, I don't worry so much. I save first, then pad my "budget" (which is really a monthly spending limit) so that fun is included.

 

[angierae]

DH and I have separate accounts, so I don't know what he does beyond pay the bills and put money into household savings. I don't think he "budgets" per se, but he also doesn't have a lot of wants. Most of his purchases are fast food because he enjoys that.

For me, I set myself a set amount of money per month for things like music (I like buying stuff on Amazon straight to my phone) or video games or clothes or a iced coffee at Tim Hortons. That's my "allowance" beyond household expenses and savings. I can spend it as I get it, I can save it. I don't like the term "blow" money because I don't feel like I am blowing it - I'm just setting myself an amount of money I get to spend on JUST ME during a month.

(I was having a discussion with a friend and I looked up May. In the month of May I spend $57 on things "just for me", and $15 of that was taking DH to the movies. So I'm not spending a lot, but it's good to know that I can go ahead and buy that pretty bra or a cd or whatever without having to worry that I'm being extravagant. The money is there, set aside for myself.)

 

[ilovejack02]

Just wanted to say that this scenario sounds very familiar to me! Can't get him to just CHECK THE BALANCE before he spends

In our early years of marriage we also had this issue , but it was with me lol : ). In my family my father took care of all money, we were very very comfortable. My mom didnt balance a check book and I don't think ever had a clue about what was where. Dad is very fiscally responsible and Mom was thrifty , we shopped all sales for clothes, she used coupons , garage sales , green stamps ( WHO REMEMBERS THOSE LOL) etc, but she shopped when she wanted and I never once saw discussions of a tight budget, because quite honestly I don't think there ever was a tight budget .

I got married , I guess I just thought it was going to be the same thing for us. DH quickly learned he couldn't just balance the bank account and pay bills. He had to sit me down and tell me exactly what was going on or I was going to keep grocery shopping or what ever else because I assumed we had it . Made for some interesting times those first few months because I never bothered to check balance .

Don't have those issues 15 years later, but trust me , we include DS8 on money conversations, just the fun stuff for now about saving for trips and a new TV , once he gets a few years older, we will include the bigger stuff such as retirement , so he isn't as clueless I was once he goes in to marriage.
Since I didn't explain how we work in my first post, I will now.
We don't budget for fun , it is just in the bank account, but I guess in a way that is our fun money, all other money is in its proper place for the most part with in a cpl of days of paycheck hitting bank account. Most is withdrawn automatically, for savings, 401k , college fund, Roth. I then withdraw my "drawer" money .. currently I want a new TV for bedroom, so i grab what ever I feel like, usually 50 a paycheck and it is hidden away in drawer. hubby pays basic bills and what ever left is to play with for the next two weeks. I usually then will sit down and mentally add up , what I know I need money for , movie with the kid, dinner out with friends, kiddo needs school supplies , water park day , groceries , pedi's and hubby hunting and fishing expenses and work from there . If DS8 or DH has a rather large fun expense coming up , I won't get pedi and mani that week . If DH knows I have something coming up that is out of ordinary , he will hold off on buy a new fishing rod, but communication is the key, this wouldn't work without it.

It does seem from your post you are treating DH a bit like a child and as someone else posted , there are alot of "I" statements in your original post, so don't be real surprised that you get some raised eyebrows from all of us. : ) Since
you said you discussed it with him and he is feeling ok, then your method must be working and while it wouldn't work for a lot of us , that isn't what matters. It is of course what works for you two.

 

[LovableGluttons]

DH and I call it "pin money".

Twice a month, DH, I, and our two kids each get pin money to spend or save on anything we want. Since I'm stuck at home with an injury and taking a couple of tough online classes, mine just gets saved. We may go on a cruise in August and I'll likely buy souvenirs or gamble with it. It's something controlled that we don't really control, if that makes sense?

We never feel like we don't have money, it keeps us from using the debit card and throwing off our budget.

It doesn't seem like wasteful spending because everything we allocate money for each month isn't affected.

DH and I each bring home a good salary. Instead of seeing it all disappear into a bank when we get paid, we SEE some of it. It keeps us from feeling deprived.

It's funny, we rarely spend all of it every two weeks. Why, I don't really know. We just don't have things we tend to regularly use it all up on.

A budget is great to allocate money towards big things, like paying bills and savings goals. Like a diet, when there is too much restriction, it makes you more likely to fall off the wagon or feel constrained. When you have that regular source of cash, it reminds you that money is REAL, tangible, not some numbers tallied in an account somewhere.


I don't know if I've explained this correctly.

If you husband has a tendency to make non budgeted splurges, I would think he's feeling deprived.

When you are selling your valuable time to an employer for an income, sometimes just coming home to the house and kids your labor is paying for doesn't seem like enough to make you feel like you are actually getting ahead. That tiny bit of personal money that no one else has control over does make me feel like there is a personal, selfish reason for me putting up with what I do in my line of work.

 

[Madison'smommy]

I would never tell my DH that he cant buy a candy bar or milkshake... that would never work in my family. It seems like in your case, giving your DH a few bucks a week, would be a good thing.... but to each his own. My DH and I dont have individual "blow" money. I occasionally take a few bucks and put it in an account of my own. If I sell on Craigslist/Ebay/yard sales, that money goes into "my" account. This money is used for play money for myself and my DD. We dont have alot of extra money after bills are paid, but neither of us are "not allowed" to get a drink or candy bar etc...

 

[Arielle22]

DH and I have been married 25 years. I do the finances but there is no way I would restrict him the way the OP does her DH. I understand working around your DH's spending issues but I don't see how depriving him of a milkshake or candy bar is good for a marriage.

We don't have fun money seperated out. My nails (twice a month) are in our budget under personal care as is our haircuts and my color. If we want to grab a bite on the way home then as long as the money is in our account we will get it. Occassionally when additional expenses come up I will let DH know that we have to keep the extras to a minimum.

Last night DH got stuck in traffic on the way home. I had an appointment and he needed to make his own dinner. He decided to stop and pick up dinner since he was running late. As long as we had the money I would not think of telling him he had to wait until he got home and then make dinner. This would put his dinner at about 8pm.

OP, your posts come across as very arrogant. You are putting down things that others here enjoy. You must have realized that you would get many responses unhappy with your post?

For the record I also enjoy my daily cup of Tea at $2.51 a day.

 

[Colleen27]

We don't. We know what's in the bank after the bills are paid and for the most part we're inclined to hang onto it for bigger fun like vacations, daytrips, etc, so the little bit of frivolous/discretionary spending we do makes very little difference in the big picture. But our "success" on that front - and it feels wrong to even call it that because it has nothing to do with any effort on our part - is mostly a matter of personality. We both dislike shopping, we both dislike clutter, neither of us have expensive hobbies, and we live in a town with a depressing lack of temptation when it comes to eating out/getting take-out. So we don't need a budgeted amount to keep our nickle-and-dime spending in check.

 

[lakelandgal70]

I don't work and we don't have kids. That being said I don't get an allowance. That would seem odd to me. We have joint accounts and I do all of the grocery shopping. I just came back from a trip to TN by myself and DH did give me a budget while I was up there. I would never tell him you have x amount of dollars to blow this week and he would never do that to me. We have a budget and we stick to it. Usually our blow money is a joint effort eating out

 

[eliza61]

We do not do this, as I find the concept to be wasteful spending. All of our accounts are joint accounts, so if we need to purchase big things, they are reviewed and agreed upon by both of us. Middle of the road stuff, like new shoes for the kids or clothes, are mostly purchased by us together, as we shop together, but I do make online clothing purchases that DH doesn't know about, as I am mostly responsible for the kids' wardrobes. And we don't purchase things like coffee, fast food, manicures, etc. which is stuff that I see fun money being spent on.


At this point, I am in charge of finances, as I have no impulse or control issues, but neither of us really sees the need for individual fun money accounts/allowances, so I was just wondering how many of you do that, and why?

Tiger

LOL. Tiger, the bolded is exactly why we do have "fun" money. I've said many times, I'm a designer purse junkie. I really would not want my spouse telling me that buying a 400 bag is wasteful.

My dh hates, loathes and despises shopping even for himself so no way no how for all the money in the world would he do it. I could look like Halle Barry and Angela Jolie rolled up in a cinnamon bun and he's still not going shopping.

Big purchases and goals we discuss together but I really don't want to have to tell him, every time I take 15 bucks out to get a pedicure.

Eating out, pedicures and coffee are not a waste. The only time you waste money imo is when you buy stuff you get no enjoyment out of. When I go to disney one of my favorite things to do is get up in the morning and drink a cup of coffee on my balcony. why is that a waste?

Money is a tool, it is not what makes a marriage.

 

[locolala]

This wouldn't work for our family, but if it works for you then it works for you.

My DH goes through about 5-10 dollars a day in snacks and drinks. He could, in theory, take stuff with him to work, but that would mean waiting in line before he goes to work to get his backpack or lunchbox searched. If he doesn't have a bag, he can just go through a separate security line, saving around 30 minutes. That means he gets more sleep, or more time with the baby in the morning. To us, that's worth it. We spend 45 dollars a month for our game subscriptions (MMORPG) and about the same in misc book or other game purchases a month. I get 2 pedicures a month, and that's my "fun" money. We don't really have a set budget but we do watch what we spend. Once the car is paid off next month, we'll be good and won't have to worry as much.. and once the baby is off formula, our grocery bill will be much less!

 

[#1hoosierfan]

We don't have a set budget (like it seems everybody else on this board does) We pay our bills, contribute to different savings, retirement, college funds, etc.... and the rest is "spend" money.

Dh and I were just talking about this last night. I asked if he wanted an iPhone. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE mine. He said while it would be nice, he much prefers stopping and getting a coffee a few times a week.... about the cost of what an additional data plan would be a month. I get a coffee out maybe 3 or 4 times a year... for me, I would brew my coffee at home and save the cash. I can't imagine liking coffee more than an iPhone.

I guess my point is this.... what is wasteful to one person is important to another.

Until dh and I make enough money to buy EVERYTHING our little hearts desire. we will continue to make purchases based on our "individual" wants.

 

[eliza61]

Thanks everyone for your responses. Here are my thoughts:

2. We do not have joint accounts at all. We don't feel this is a good way to deal with our household expenses. This way, all spending can be seen by the other. Our biggest expenses are: kids (LOL!), mortgage, property taxes, gas and food. We each get what we need, so I guess it's working out!



3. I have a very itemized budget, and so everything is accounted for. If we make small purchases like buy the kids ice cream, it comes out of the household account and gets counted as food. If we buy a Disney DVD, it goes under entertainment. We do not have separate fun money or allowances in which to blow on anything. I am very micro and detail oriented in my thinking, so there is a place for everything. Perhaps I'm too detailed oriented at times, which is why I started this thread, to get more info. But, since my hubby has had spending issues, I have had to put strategies in place that work best for him, our marriage and our household.

So what's the difference. You call it and entertainment account, other people call it a personal account. exactly what makes your way any better?
4. We have multiple accounts, and everything is paid in full each month, and we have no debt except for our house, which should be paid off in approx. 7 years. Everything is covered: education funds, retirement, multiple savings accounts, household and vacation accounts.

It's really interesting to see the responses, as I've been trying to wrap my head around this concept, but I can't justify spending 20.00 each (40.00/week) x 4 weeks for 160.00/month out of a fun account, as that is a week of groceries! We do not go out to eat, go to movies, visit Starbucks/Tim Hortons, eat fast food, etc. We do lots of familiy things though that are budgeted: annual passes to zoo, museum, Disney, etc. We are taking the kids on a weekend getaway this weekend, and money is coming out of household account, as there is always a healthy balance in there, and it gets itemized on vacation budget line.

We do consult each other on pretty much everything, and so having separate accounts, and having each of us spend money that the other doesn't know about would absolutely not work out. Most of my friends and family are the same way as us, so it's interesting to see the responses on here, as it has given me more to think about.
LOL, you make it sound like people are out on the golf course with a wig on and dark sunglasses. My husband would run screaming for the hills if every time I had my hair colored I gave him a blow by blow description and then and itemized bill. I glad you need to know every single cent your dh spends. I trust my husband can figure out if going to the phillies game and having a beer will set us back financially. Do I really need to know the beer was 7 bucks. uhm sorry no. Thanks so much, Tiger

The bottom line Tiger is that different strokes for different folks.

Personally, I don't want to go through life saying "OMG, i spent 20 dollars to get my nails done". Really? IMO that's not living thats simply existing and at my age I want to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of life.

We spend our money wisely, we don't have to wait for a disney vacation to make memories. For us going to coldstone creamry and blowing 40 bucks on ice cream is as magical.

You call it a household fund so whats the difference? Is it because some people have their own personal accounts that makes it wasteful in your eyes?

I glad your method works for you but sorry as much as you are patting yourself on the back. We too are debt free, healthy savings, college tuition (for 2 kids without any loans) and have fun. So sorry Tiger, don't run out an apply for that patent just yet. There are many successful marriages based on a wide variety of money styles.

 

[ZehnJahren]

I have three savings accounts, and one is my "fun" savings. I put about 8% of each paycheck in, and if I want to make a big purchase (for example, we bought a 52" plasma a few months back) the cash comes out of there. I save up money, and trips, airline tickets, theme park tickets, any big purchases all come out of my fun money. That way, I don't deprive myself of what I want, while at the same time having a big chunk of cash that's just for me.

I also don't deprive myself. I recently bought a Disney Dooney purse with money I'd been saving for several months. I didn't feel bad, because this was my fun money - nothing attached to it.

I have savings for emergencies - a "whoa big emergency lost my job" fund and a "aw crap, the car needs a new transmission" fund. My DBF and I have separate accounts, so I could care less what he spends his money on - but I budget my cash after savings, and spend where I want.

 

[bumbershoot]

After reading everything posted, I think one of the last things posted really sums it up.

I trust my husband can figure out if going to the phillies game and having a beer will set us back financially.

The difference is, there are MANY people in the world who CANNOT trust their spouses to know this. And obviously the OP's husband has been one of those spouses in the past, and now he wants to do better, so I'm assuming that they both put themselves under tiger's financial control, so they can both do better for themselves and their family.

For those of you who can trust yourselves AND your spouses financially, give yourselves (and spouses) a huge hug! You are SO lucky!!!!! Be happy that you can't possibly understand how stressful a household can be when your husband, for example, didn't notice that an $800 check never cleared, and magically the checking account was a whole lot higher than expected, for the whole summer, until the fateful day when the person the check was supposed to pay called....

Be thankful that you haven't had the experience of taking control back, getting things on the straight and narrow, then making the decision to let hubby have the reins again...and he did nearly the exact same thing for nearly the same amount...

Be thankful and happy you do NOT have to do all of this to keep your family on an even keel. And try to see this situation from THAT filter, not the "I'd divorce my spouse if he said I couldn't have a milkshake" filter...

Not sure if this is a question or a brag, but no, I don't do blow, so I don't put money aside for it (if you do, well you have bigger issues than personal finance).

OK it sounds like you think she's using "blow" to mean, um, something illegal? I'm just not understanding your sentence there otherwise.

...but I see blow or fun money as having to be spent, so that seems wasteful to me.

We have probably the smallest 'blow" amount than anyone on here...after a few months of moving it around, we settled on $25 each, per month. Any more than that, we start going crazy with the fancy coffees, and end up feeling MORE deprived when it runs out than if we have to be more careful. Any less and we're sad sad sad.

We do have a "family fun fund", and I do keep money aside (it still scares me to send ALL the money off to savings etc for "just in case" reasons, so I wait until the following month to dispatch with the previous month's "slush" fund), so if there's a fabulous sale on a DVD or whatever we can do that.

He's even bought me a fancy coffee here and there, kinda like dating again.

We do that, too.

2. We do not have joint accounts at all. We don't feel this is a good way to deal with our household expenses. This way, all spending can be seen by the other.


If we make small purchases like buy the kids ice cream, it comes out of the household account and gets counted as food. If we buy a Disney DVD, it goes under entertainment. We do not have separate fun money or allowances in which to blow on anything.

We do not go out to eat, go to movies, visit Starbucks/Tim Hortons, eat fast food, etc. We do lots of familiy things though that are budgeted: annual passes to zoo, museum, Disney, etc. We are taking the kids on a weekend getaway this weekend, and money is coming out of household account, as there is always a healthy balance in there, and it gets itemized on vacation budget line.

I don't understand how not having a joint account gets all the spending seen?

You still have the spending that could go along with an allowance...you're just calling it something else. I'm assuming you do not feel the need to drain the "household account", so just think of that as being like another person's fun fund...

your "fun" purchases can be harder to track than someone who has a special line item for them. Your ice cream is in one place, your dvd in another, a household item that isn't 100% necessary would be in another.

I do agree with that.

Yes, I know I spent also, but the difference is I do all the finances and know what the cushion is..he just whips out the debit card and has no clue if there is any cushion there or not. So..Cash for him from now on

Oh I know what that feels like!

We don't have a set budget (like it seems everybody else on this board does) We pay our bills, contribute to different savings, retirement, college funds, etc.... and the rest is "spend" money.

That's a budget.

 

[Poohforyou]

We don't budget fun money. If we want something that in our minds is reasonable we get it. We're both adults and don't feel the need to parent one another. Of course neither of us has an addictive personality so maybe that's the difference.

OP, I hope your DH is on board with the arrangement you have. I know if DH controlled me that much I'd have a lot of resentment.

 

[rileyreese]

My hubby and I both get $20 a week to "blow". We both normally use this for fast food that we would not normally get but lots of weeks I take the kids out for a snack and use that money. We have both used the money for other things we want so it is not budgeted in food just as his and my money.

All that said if we do not have the extra $20 I do not take mine out, I do not work outside the home so I think it is more important my hubby has the extra money for extra food or extra drinks in case he has to work late or needs a snack after eating all the food he took for lunch!

 

[Marionnette]

We both get a set amount of money that we can spend at our own discretion. It's money that isn't meant for any specific purpose (like eating out, entertainment or haircuts). Neither of us has to keep track of what we spend it on or even answer to the other one as to how it was spent.

The amount we get is immaterial to this discussion but there is no rule that dictates that it even has to be spent. I am just as likely to put several dollars aside to surprise my husband with an escape weekend as I am to take advantage of a Vera Bradley online sale. Or I might donate to my favorite political candidate. No rules.

Good for the OP that this works for her and I'm assuming that her husband is fine with the arrangement. If my husband tried to impose those kind of rules on me, there probably would not have been an "us" for the past 26 years.

 

[bluesaturn]

I'm not sure what you don't get. You have blow money just like everyone else, you are just calling it something else and putting it in a different line of your budget. It's still money spent on wanted (but not needed) things. You are spending on the zoo and Disney, because that is most valuable to you. Other people would rather spend on Starbucks or the nail salon. You might be keeping track more closely than some people, but it's still money going to something you don't need but want.