Do you have an ex who is trifiling?

[mylilnikita]

My ex, but still legal husband drives me up a wall. We have a DD7 together, and she is the best part of him. He lives with his 5th girlfriend and her husband, that is right, her husband. He has taken money from them, but if you give some one your card and you tell them your pin number, well you can't blame it all on him. Let's just say he is on the shady side. And if I had to do it all over again, I would have skipped the wedding and just gotten pregnant with DD because she is the best thing that has happened to me. Well, their house is being foreclosed on and they have to be out at the end of this month. Rico Suave as I like to call him, has no car, no job, nada, nothing, so the girl is taking her kids and moving in with her parents and the husband is moving to a rental house so where does that leave Rico? Well, they had to have a rental car last week and she calls me from work and asks if I have seen or talk to him-which I try to avoid doing-because he had the car and was supposed to bring her lunch. Then she had surgery and her husband calls me after I called to check on her and he tells me that he has once again taken the rental car-no license either and was supposed to bring the girl stuff for the next day to be released from the hospital. So I am talking to the husband and he says that the girl told him, that Rico will probably come back here and live with me-talk about having a heart attack. He has been gone going on 6 years, I have a different life and there is no way he would be driving my cars like he did in the past and put nasty skanks in them or money would come up missing. He is supposed to go out on scallop boat at the end of the month, love to see that happen. He tells girls my phone number and they call me looking for him, they don't realize that he is still married-legally which I told him this year I am going for the gusto and getting a divorce so I hope the next girlfriend can afford my attorney's fees because he all ready signed a document that is now a court document that he will pay for my divorce. If he comes over, I have to put my computer on password mode because he is nosey. He will call out of the blue talking about can I do him a favor. So, who else has a trifiling ex?

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

No trifiling ex but dang run to that attorney's office and legally divorce Rico Suave (love the nickname btw ). Good Luck with everything!

 

[ducklite]

You really need to get a divorce, even if you need to pay for it yourself, and get this idiot out of your life.

I wouldn't even let him in my house. Period.

Anne

 

[airhead]

Sorry,I saw this word and was curious. I have no idea what it means....

 

[OhMari]

I hope you don't live in a 50/50 state like Wisconsin. Every bill he wracks up will be 50% yours. Get a legal seperation pronto and I wouldn't let him in your house. Change your phone number and locks. The computer should be the least of your problems.

 

[mylilnikita]

It means annoying and aggravating beyond belief.

Since we do have a child together, we are bonded by her. I just needed to vent. See, I wanted a nice quiet year, but guess that isn't going to happen. So, I decided to be a bad girl just now and called this other girl that he apparently was seeing this week with the other one's rental car-sweet huh-and she had called me looking for him and I was like I am legally his wife, but I don't care where he is. Well, I decided to call her and tell her that we are getting a divorce then she mentions that he came by this week and I tell her that he really likes her and I would be happy for them, better her than me-lol. And if all else fails, I have to bring out the big guns, I don't think he wants that-I have a friend, and there is no way I would jeapordize what I have with him to have Rico move in.

 

[DLBDS]

I say get rid of that friggin' loser...the quicker the better...and don't give into his whining and pleading. You'll be so much better off without his baggage in your life. As for DD....that's another issue entirely. Only YOU can decide what's best for her (I'm referring to visitation here) as I don't think he's capable.

 

[mylilnikita]

We have had the legal separation and custody and support and even alimony thing taken care of years ago. And I did change the locks, because he came back into the house after he left and took some things and I put a house alarm, ADT on the house. I can't not communicate with him because he has a right to see his daughter.

 

[DLBDS]

One more thing...You CAN look forward to the future. After your daughter turns 18 you'll NEVER have to see/hear from this guy again. My parents are divorced and after I got older they never had a reason to communicate. My so-called-father has pretty much ruined his relationship with me. I don't speak to him....even when he calls. Oh well. Like I said before, I don't need/want the baggage.

I just wanted to add.....the father thing happened about 4 years ago. I haven't spoken to him in about a year and a half. He did nothing to fix the problem and pretended it would just go away if he didn't talk about it.

 

[dmslush]

We have had the legal separation and custody and support and even alimony thing taken care of years ago. And I did change the locks, because he came back into the house after he left and took some things and I put a house alarm, ADT on the house. I can't not communicate with him because he has a right to see his daughter.

Is he paying the child support or alimony?

As far as not being able to NOT communicate with him because you are bonded because of you child.. well, all you HAVE to communicate about him with is the child, not the girlfriends, their husbands, etc... there is no need for him to put you in the middle of all of his nonsense! When he starts talking about one of them, tell him that you are busy and have to hang up. When one of them calls, tell them that you are not his answering service, you are his exwife and then hang up. It didn't take me long doing that to my exhusband, showing him that I absolutely didn't care what happened to him, and the only communication that we would have would be our child. He soon left town and only resurfaced this last year (after being gone for many, many years). It was perfect timing, we were able to serve him with termination of parental rights papers and SO was able to adopt dd.

 

[DVC Sadie]

All I can say is ; You are a better woman than me. I'll send you some pixie dust and a prayer.

 

[Stacerita]

Rico Suave

 

[Disney Doll]

So you and this guy have been split for 6 years but have never gotten a divroce?

Do you know that any bills he makes could become your responsibility since you are still legally married?

Get yourself to a lawyer and divorce him.

 

[mylilnikita]

He has no bills, because he uses other people's credit cards and debit cards. When he does work he does pay child support, and the alimony was for a year and a month and that has been paid-silly rabbit he signed something saying he owed me certain things and he thought I would let him back home and just forget it-can you say turned into a legal binding and court document? And the bills he had before we met have nothing to do with me. He used to give cops my address if he got stopped and then the court and lawyer for the court would send stuff and I got in touch with them and told them where he really lives.

Update: Now he is supposed to move in with girl at her parents house. What is bad is his girlfriend and I get along really well. When they would break up she would still get DD and keep her for the weekend so she could play with her daughter.
I am hoping he will be dumped overboard and be stranded somewhere for years LOL Seriously, I think he will end up in jail for the stuff he does or he will cross the wrong person.
He used to call me at 1 am when he had her and you know I am going to answer the phone and he would just start talking and for the longest time I didn't tell him I was seeing someone. Well the last time he did it, it was near Easter of last year and my friend was getting tired of it and answered. Well heaven forbid if I don't pine after him, Rico Suave,yea that is his name.

 

[ducklite]

We have had the legal separation and custody and support and even alimony thing taken care of years ago. And I did change the locks, because he came back into the house after he left and took some things and I put a house alarm, ADT on the house. I can't not communicate with him because he has a right to see his daughter.

Actually you can ask the court to set up his visitation so you don't have to communicate with him. Is there a trusted person who could be an intemediary between you and him?

You really need to talk to a lawyer, like in tomorrow. Get this "thing" out of your life and be done with him. And like the other poster said, you do NOT need to talk to him about anything except your daughter.

Anne

 

[jfulcer]

This will be TheOtherVillaness in 6 years.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Update: Now he is supposed to move in with girl at her parents house. What is bad is his girlfriend and I get along really well. When they would break up she would still get DD and keep her for the weekend so she could play with her daughter.


Let me get this right. Your husband is living with another couple. You are still legally married to your husband, the girl friend of your husband is still legally married to her husband BUT girl friend is moving to her parent's house and allowing a man, not her legal husband, to move in with her? You state that this is girl friend #5 and you would allow this woman to take your DD for the weekend??? You need to get a divorce and keep your daughter away from all this looniness (is that a new word??? )

This is a most bizarre situation!

TC

 

[mylilnikita]

They had an open marriage.At least they were honest about it, I had an open marriage without me knowing-lol. Now they have gone bankrupt and getting a divorce. That is why she is moving back with her parents and the husband is moving into a rental house. Her husband works out of state alot. As far as my DD seeing her, well she brought her presents when RIco couldn't or didn't have the means to, about 4 years of. They didn't flaunt themselves in front of her or the other 2 kids. Now, they will be living with her parents, but don't have a lot of room and DD is hardly going to be able to see the daughter. My ex can date a gorilla for all I care, but like I wrote before the girlfrined and I get along well and she wasn't the one he left me for, but she is the only one who treated DD like her own. And at the end of the day no matter what the situation, I am grateful for at least that. And tomorrow, I will be calling a lawyer and doing what I should have done years ago, wish me luck.

 

[Michie]

This will be TheOtherVillaness in 6 years.

 

[mylilnikita]

jfulcer-what was your comment about? what is the othervillaness?