Do you give a gift when they say dont?

[daisyyy]

We're invited to a 25th wedding anniversary party / vow renewal for friends of ours. The couple is getting re-married in the church, dress flowers and all, and is hosting a little reception afterwards. Not huge, or fancy, but the invitaion says "no gifts"... does that really mean we should go with nothing?? It doesn't seem right to go empty handed, but what would be appropriate without going overboard? suggestions?

 

[AmazingGrace]

You could either get someting small or make a donation in their honor to a meaningful charity.

 

[bumbershoot]

I believe that if someone goes to the effort to state "no gifts", then they MEAN no gifts.

It's the guests who feel weird showing up empty-handed that ruin it!


We plan on a vow renewal someday, and we will absolutely positively mean that we want no gifts. We might feel the urge to have a "redo" for the vows and the party, but we will NOT feel the urge to make our friends "redo" their gifts. Their gifts were good the first time, and for those new friends, we will want them to just enjoy themselves.

So I say, respect what they've stated on the invite.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If is says no gifts, then I bring no gifts. It is called honoring their wishes. To do otherwise would make me feel rude. Plus I hate shopping for stuff like that.

Now I will bring a card.

 

[Nomi]

I agree, a nice card would be sufficient in a 'no gifts' situation. Or something small and not too gifty, like a nice bouquet. Perhaps treating them to a drink if you're able to would be acceptable as well. Or hugs. Hugs are good too.

 

[NMAmy]

Please don't bring a gift. We asked for no gifts for our wedding--we had combined two established households and really didn't need anything. Heck, we already had two of everything! We just wanted people to come celebrate with us.

It's kind of annoying when people ignore your request like that--I mean, I know they were trying to be nice and I did appreciate that but I would have appreciated it even more if they had just given us a card with their good wishes. I have no idea why people have such a hard time with this concept.

 

[Art 1]

Since they are having a reception after we would take a small gift.

 

[aprilgail2]

Since they are having a reception after we would take a small gift.

I have been to to many "NO GIFTS please" events where the majority brought gifts and the ones that didn't felt stupid to not come with a gift to any party I go to! I had a surprise party for my mom and wrote No gifts please- we had 60 people there and all but about 5 couples brought gifts. You could see how uncomfortable they were when they saw eveyone else walking in with gifts. We really did mean no gifts but I won't ever write that again as it never really works!

 

[mtemm]

honestly I'd bring a card with a restaurant gift card inside. I know, I know, no gifts, but to me something disposable like a gift card to a restaurant (or a bottle of wine or something) is different. they can easily give it to someone else if they truly don't want it, and it doesnt' take up space in their house.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I would put money or a GC in a card. There's no way I would go empty handed.

 

[NMAmy]

I guess I'm different in that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable at all not bringing a gift if the host had requested that.

And even a gift like money or a gift card requires a thank you note--one of the BIG reasons I prefer to throw events with no gifts. You've now obligated your host to send you a thank you note for a gift they did not want and specifically asked you NOT to bring.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

So it sounds like it's pointless to say "no gifts" because nobody bothers to honor that request anyway.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

If is says no gifts, then I bring no gifts. It is called honoring their wishes. To do otherwise would make me feel rude. Plus I hate shopping for stuff like that.

Now I will bring a card.

Bring a card and call it a day! Go and enjoy.

 

[MIGrandma]

I would give a nice card, with maybe a handwritten note inside, but when someone requests "no gifts" I will honor their wishes. I don't consider just a card being a "gift."

 

[anniemae]

I would bring a card, and maybe put a gift card in it for a local restaurant so they could have a nice dinner. I would not walk in with a wrapped gift though.

 

[Jennasis]

No gift. Bring a card.

 

[vettechick99]

No, don't bring one. Just have fun!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Sometimes I do, but in that situation, I wouldn't.

 

[Rora]

I'd just bring a card.