Do you ever vacation without children?

[eliza61]

My kids are usually leaving us. My parents travel to Europe alot and always want to take their "grand babies" with them. My sons have better passport than dh and I. We travel with and without the kids, Disney world is absolutely amazing with just you and your "sweetie". Different but just as magical.

 

[mama4]

Dh and I will be there in October for a few days. It'll be our third trip to WDW w/out the kiddies. We did cancel a free 5 day cruise though (won it through a timeshare pitch) because I felt too uncomfortable leaving the baby for that long. We will only take 2-3 day trips and stay close to home until they are a little older.

 

[JoyG]

In the almost 7 years we've been parents, dh and I have left twice on vacation by ourselves. Once we went on a cruise for a week (the twins were infants and didn't know we were gone) and once we went to San Diego for 4 days. That was a business trip for dh, but we did Disneyland while we were there.

I can't imagine taking one of my kids and leaving the others. They are so close in age that it wouldn't make any sense and I'd feel bad for the one left behind.

 

[Liberty Belle]

We've been married 15 years and have never been on any kind of vacation by ourselves. We are thinking of maybe taking a weekend (two day) vacation without the kids, but we haven't decided if we will or not yet.

We're only able to take 1 vacation a year (maybe two if one is small), so it wouldn't be fair to not include our kids.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You sound a lot like me. DH and I just LOVE each other and LOVE the chance to do what we want. DD loves getting spoiled by grandma.

Our situations are also similar in that we were married long before kids and our 2 kids are 11 years apart. With that wide a span it really makes sense that we would take some trips with one but not the other. We've taken DD on ballet weekends and to WDW without DS and DH and Ds have gone on many rock concert weekends without us girls. They share a love of classic rock.

Our's are 9.5 years apart and we still vacation all together. We sometimes take one someplace that we don't take the other, but never overnight.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I vote for "would never cross my mind to take a 1 year old to Disney World" option!! Flame away...but what would be the point?? The child certainly wouldn't get anything out of it but over stimulation, interrupted nap schedule, diaper rash and cranky parents. Certainly not my idea of a fun vacation.

We took our 11 month old and he had a blast. There was a lot for him to do and he loves to look at the pictures now as a 4 year old. Plus, we felt more comfortable having him with us. We wouldn't have left him with anyone for that long.

 

[PEANUT1]

I feel it is really important to have adult only trips, but I would not judge someone for not wanting to leave their kids. some moms make you feel like you are "bad" for wanting alone time. I feel like I need it and it makes me a better mom.

I was just saying to my husband today that we need a break. Maybe 1 or 2 nights. We haven't been away since our 9 month old was born. We are going to plan a big "alone" trip for next year to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. I am sure I will miss the kids, but I feel our marriage needs to be nurtured as much as our children.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

My kids are usually leaving us. My parents travel to Europe alot and always want to take their "grand babies" with them. My sons have better passport than dh and I. We travel with and without the kids, Disney world is absolutely amazing with just you and your "sweetie". Different but just as magical.

Oh my gosh, I can relate. Our oldest spent 2 months in Africa, then time in London, lived in the wilderness in Northern Quebec for 40 days...last month he was in Charlotte, this weekend in Dallas. He's going out to Vegas for a while then moving back to NYC. He's got another trip to Africa planned and is going with us to Costa Rica and Italy - and he just turned 19!

Our two younger ones are always going off somewhere exciting with us, with friends, with camp, with family. It's so great to see how independent they are becoming and how they have learned to be as adventurous as mom and dad!

 

[lady_hlh]

We finally took a weekend trip to NYC this year without our 5 year old DD and it was nice to get away so I hope we'll do that at least once a year from now on.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I am one who haven't left a baby and I don't think I would. My girls were breast feed so they were much easier to just have with me then leave with anyone else.

I do think parents need alone time.

This past March DH and I took a trip for 3 nights. It ended up being WDW, but we had AP, we got super cheap airfare, had DVC points and didn't want to take 6 year old DD out of school again (we took her out twice for WDW this year.) It did feel odd being there with out them. I think we missed them more then they missed us. Still we had a wonderful time and I am glad we did. The girls were almost 6 and 2 years old. The 2 year old self weaned just a few weeks before the trip.

I do think every couple needs some time together just the 2 of them.

I don't see myself taking one and leaving the other, but I can see how some parents could. I don't see leaving the baby, after all they are only a baby for such a short time and it is just easier to have them with me when I am breast feeding. My babies traveled well too. Some don't.

I would love to take another trip this summer just the 2 of us, but I don't see that happening with the summer plans. Now that I know we can do it successfully, I want to do it more often (then 3 nights once every 6 years.) Next time I want to go to New York City.

 

[PA Princess]

With 4 kids and 17 years of marriage, we have literally done all of the options posted. We did not leave our babies, for as others have stated, when you are breastfeeding it is just easier to travel with the baby. In fact we have found babies to be some of the easiest travel companions around in so many ways!

We do really enjoy traveling as a family...the planning, the adventure, the exploring, the whole focus on just the family and not all of the other daily grind kinds of things. WDW especially for us is a family place to travel. It is just not a place I can imagine traveling without the kids.

Our kids are rather spread out in ages, so we have left a child behind at times. When our older two boys were 9 and 8, we left oldest dd (age 3 at the time) behind for a Washington DC long weekend. This spring we took our boys and oldest dd (now 12, 11, and 6) to NYC for a long weekend and the youngest dd (age 2) stayed behind. This is not our preferred mode of travel, but occasionally it just works better.

And yes, dh and I have traveled together just us...usually long weekends and usually not far, but really where we go seems less important than that we go and just get away just the two of us. It is amazing how much a simple 48 or 72 hours can do for a couple! We average a weekend away once a year and it is time we both treasure.

 

[moparop]

We haven't taken an adults only vacation, but our kids are 2.5 and 15 months. No one seems too keen on babysitting for long enough for us to get away. I am certainly VERY open to the idea of a trip away with the hubby. I don't think we'd do WDW though. Right now, I am looking forward to seeing the kids there.

 

[lclark0621]

We do not travel without DS.

DH travels a lot for work. We see our vacations as family time. Neither of us want or feel the need for "adult only" trips, at this point in our lives.

DH & I have been together a very long time & waited 7 years into our marriage (we were living together before getting married), to have DS. So we did a lot of adlut only travel before him.

Right now he is our only & we enjoy traveling with him. Maybe when we are done having kids & our kids are teens we will want to travel without them, but not at this point.

 

[JVL1018]

I would never take a family vacation with only part of the family-so if DH and I go both kids go, not leave one home and take the other, mine are so close in age I can't imagine why that would even be an issue..

I will probably do a mommy and me trip with each of my kids, a long weekend trip, but that's different.

DH goes away alone, I go away alone, a long weekend with friends each, each year.
But we don't go away together without the kids.

The biggest reason being I have no one to watch the kids for us.
Both their grandmas passed away.
My FIL is 80 and not in great health, he could never watch them longer than a few hours, I don't talk to my Dad really, and even if I did he's not a "kid" person, so he wouldn't take them.
My brothers and their wives, and my BIL and his wife all work so they can't take the kids.
It's an impossibility so it's never been something that we've even thought about.

My SIL and brother have taken the kids for a weekend Fri-Sun, but it's for things like we have a wedding, so we are without the kids, but we are home.
Now my SIL works weekends as does my brother(police) so they can no longer do that for us.
My other SIL helps in a pinch, she slept here so we could go to DH's HS reunion(local) and sleep at the hotel.

It's not that I feel we have to be attached to our kids all the time, we go on dates, we ditch the kids whenever we can for the evening, , I'm thrilled to have the few weekends we've had alone with just DH, I'd go away for a few days with him in a heartbeat if it were possible, but a full out week plus vacation to us, at this point in time, means all 4 of us.

We were together 10 years before we had children, we traveled a lot, and before we know it the kids will be grown and not traveling with us anyway, so we are enjoying all the family vacations while we can.

I know who we are as a couple, we've been married 15 years, happily.

We certainly don't lose that just because we aren't alone together somewhere other than home a few days a year, and to be honest I sort of resent when it's implied that because a couple doesn't go on vacation without their kids that they're losing their "coupleness", especially because for some of us, it's just not an option because we' donlt have anyone to take the children.

 

[PaulaSue]

I have only gone on 2 mini vacations with Dh since the girls were born. He usually wins one every year or so from the tire industry. With pregnancy and nursing (hated pumping) I only could go on 2 vacations, so far. We didn't pay anything for them and he had to do some meetings but if we paid for them the girls would have gone with us.

 

[JVL1018]

Yup. I do. If a dh and dw can't carve out time for themselves, the marriage will, eventually, become loveless. That is my opinion.

.

And it HAS to be by taking a vacation?
I have known many many many happily married couples, some vacation with just their spouse, some with kids in tow.
I have known couples who've divorced, some vacationed with just their spouses, some with kids in tow.
I think it's an extremely narrow viewpoint to say you MUST go on a vacation or else your marriage will be loveless.

I agree 100% that a couple needs to make time for each other and not be all about the kids all the time, but to say that a couple is ignoring their marriage by not flying off for a vacation alone together every year or so, and that that marriage will eventually become loveless is just..I can't even understand how one would jump to that conclusion.

 

[ilovejack02]

And it HAS to be by taking a vacation?
I have known many many many happily married couples, some vacation with just their spouse, some with kids in tow.
I have known couples who've divorced, some vacationed with just their spouses, some with kids in tow.
I think it's an extremely narrow viewpoint to say you MUST go on a vacation or else your marriage will be loveless.

I agree 100% that a couple needs to make time for each other and not be all about the kids all the time, but to say that a couple is ignoring their marriage by not flying off for a vacation alone together every year or so, and that that marriage will eventually become loveless is just..I can't even understand how one would jump to that conclusion.

I dont think ANY of us mean that all folks that dont go on vacation together alone without kids are destined for divorce. I and I have a feeling the others are speaking of folks that are unwilling to do ANYTHING without the children. There are many cpls that put the kids before everything including their marriage and that is where the problem lies.

 

[mjantz]

And it HAS to be by taking a vacation?
I have known many many many happily married couples, some vacation with just their spouse, some with kids in tow.
I have known couples who've divorced, some vacationed with just their spouses, some with kids in tow.
I think it's an extremely narrow viewpoint to say you MUST go on a vacation or else your marriage will be loveless.

I agree 100% that a couple needs to make time for each other and not be all about the kids all the time, but to say that a couple is ignoring their marriage by not flying off for a vacation alone together every year or so, and that that marriage will eventually become loveless is just..I can't even understand how one would jump to that conclusion.

I think there is somewhat of a middle ground. If a couple cannot vacation by themselves for whatever reason (no family close-by, financial issues, etc) then I think things can be OK as long as they realize they do need to take time to nurture their relationship, be it through 'dates' once in a while or saturday mornings with the bedroom door locked

However, if a couple refuses to leave their children (& I hate to stereotype but my experience has been that usually the mom does not want to leave the kids) expecially if there are people close by who are capable of taking care of them & money is not an issue, then I think there can be problems once those kids get older & move on. I see it in a close family member who never went anywhere without her kids. If they went to church camp, she went as a volunteer; if they went on a mission trip, she went as an adult leader. Now, her children are grown & she & her DH seem a bit lost. Its like they forgot how to have fun as a couple for the 20+ years they were raising children.
My parents OTOH, seem to be reveling in their 'child-free' status (at bit too much at times I think!!) When I was growing up, they had dates every so often & would about once a year or so, work it so both my brother & I were at my grandparents at the same time for a few days. Once my brother & I got older & a bit more self-sufficient, grandma would come stay with us while they would go to Vegas or even just a few hours away. They love my brother & I very much but also loved each other & always seemed so happy & re-charged whenever they came back, even if it was just a date.

 

[JVL1018]

I dont think ANY of us mean that all folks that dont go on vacation together alone without kids are destined for divorce. I and I have a feeling the others are speaking of folks that are unwilling to do ANYTHING without the children. There are many cpls that put the kids before everything including their marriage and that is where the problem lies.

I agree wholeheartedly with you, but this was what I was referring to:

Originally Posted by TinkerbellMama
You honestly think people who don't go away without their kids are IGNORING their marriages? Huh. Interesting assumption.


FinallyBoughtDVC replied:


Yup. I do. If a dh and dw can't carve out time for themselves, the marriage will, eventually, become loveless. That is my opinion.

 

[cuppycake]

Nope. Haven't left our girls overnight (without one of us) and don't plan on doing it any time soon.

We still find plenty of "couple" time to nurture our marriage...it's just usually when the girls are sleeping.

No need to take an "adult" vacation for us. We have a ball together, and want to spend our vacation TIME and MONEY on our family.

I seriously doubt that means that our relationship will soon be "loveless"