Do you ever vacation without children?

[Princess Roo]

We take the occasional time away from the kids (with family watching them) that will turn into longer vacations when our children are older. When DS was 16 months we took a 36-hour mini-getaway in town (stayed at our wedding-night hotel, got massages, went to a nice dinner, etc). This summer, we took a 3 day drip to the beach. When our children are all school-aged we plan to take them to "camp Grandma and Grandpa" more regularly and sometimes get a longer vacation for the two of us. I know they'll enjoy the time with the grandparents, too, so I won't feel at all guilty!

I personally wouldn't leave an infant because if I have to bring my breast-pump it's not a vacation!

 

[mags.bubble]

We went to Hawaii with out dd 16, ds 5, and ds3. They have been, but it was time for just us. They will join us next year.

We are also doing WDW this August without dd16, and then taking just dd16 in October.

This works for us. I also have a great sitter to stay with the kids if we take a trip without them.

Maggie

 

[robsmom]

We have been very lucky in that both my parents and in-laws have been willing to watch my son while we take a trip. We try to take one 4/5 day trip without him each year. Lately we have been on a vegas kick but we did san fran and few years back and when he was about 18 months my mom kept him for 10 days so that we could go to Hawaii for our anniversary! We always take 1-2 vacations a year with him so it is a nice mix of an us trip and a family trip.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Me and DH do couples trip with some regularity. I don't feel guilty because our kids LOVE staying with our families and they view it as quite a treat, so everyone is happy.

There are just some places that are not kid orientated (in my mind anyway) like Vegas...and me and DH usually do that 2-3 times a year for long weekends. I DO feel guilty about going to WDW without the kids. For the past 5 years, I've always done a girls trip to WDW and I admit I still feel guilty even though I know I am entitled to one weekend a year for mommies only time. I come home refreshed and I bring tons of guilt gifts home-so everyone seems happy. I don't think me and DH would do Disney together without the kids, but maybe one day it will happen.

 

[mhm]

We've taken some adult-only long weekend trips to Hawaii to scuba dive. We really want to do a week on a live-aboard dive boat without kids next year for our 10th anniversary, but after the last time my sister babysat (when our dd4 & our baby dd double-teamed her at bed time wanting mommy & daddy), she's offered to go on vacation with us and babysit while we dive, but not while we go away for a week. My mom is too hard of hearing, and my MIL has arthritis too bad to babysit for a whole week. There's no one else I'd trust with my kids overnight. Maybe for our 15th anniversary. . .

 

[jenrein]

I think you are missing one of the main choices-people who sometimes vacation without their children.

It's not as extreme as I will never leave my children behind or I never vacation with my children.

We have done both.

Same here- we do both

 

[My2Cinderellas]

Adults only vacations are a must in my book. I love my kids, but as a SAHM I crave adults only time too! I have left the kids for a week with my parents, now that dh's parents are retired and more available, I would leave the girls with them as well. We just got back from a week in Northern California, and have been to Las Vegas without the kids a few times too, so flying halfway across the country isn't an issue for us.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Absolutely DH and I go without the kids.

I also feel a husband and wife need their alone time. So many times "its all about the kids" so when they grow up and leave the nest, the couple have nothing in common anymore.

I certainly love my children with all my heart but its nice to get away and I know they feel the same way. They love to have Grandma watch them, because she spoils them horribly.

Actually DH and I are leaving in 2 1/2 weeks to celebrate his 40th birthday in Jamaica.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

We've always done adult only trips. I love my kids - but my first focus is on my marriage. When the kids are grown and gone, that's what my dh and I will have left. It's so important to nurture it and put the marriage first. Then everything else falls into place.

When our children were younger, they would spend time with family or friends while we went away. My dh and I going away is part of our family dynamic, so it's never been an issue for the children. I've also done trips with my friends (as has my dh), trips with my mother, trips with only one child (mommy & me trips), etc.

These past few years, now that they are older and go to sleep away camp (this year we had four child free weeks - next year my oldest will be in his own apartment and my two youngest will both be at sleep away camp for 8 weeks each - we're going to feel like we're 20 again ) - my dh and I are like honeymooners.

Do I miss my kids? You bet. But, they're having a blast, we're having a blast. Works for our family.

I never could understand how people could be with their children 24/7 (I'm not talking about infants - I'm talking about toddler up through high school age). It would literally drive me insane, and quite honestly, I don't see how a rich and fulfilling marriage could survive so many years being ignored.

 

[blessedby3]

Nope- we never leave ours. They will fly the nest all too soon and it will just be DH and I. We all vacation together

 

[sne26]

I'm all for adults only trips sometimes, but not every vacation. So far we have only taken one adult only trip. And that was when I was pregnant with my second- so we could get away ourselves before we had 2 kids. (they are now 2 and 4).

We take 2 trips a year, and now that my mom has retired, maybe we will start taking one trip w/o kids, and one with. Or maybe go alone every couple of years. I agree a couple needs alone time, and plus there are places I want to see, that I don't want to wait 20 years to go to- like all the vineyards in Napa Valley!

But, I do truly enjoy our family vacations, and I want my kids to always treasure them, and to grow up with a love to travel. I want to take them to as many places that we can, and we will as they get a little older- like Europe and Hawaii.

 

[Princess-in-Training]

Oh, don't we wish!!! My in-laws won't babysit (i don't know why, they're weird. My kids are great kids, honest! They're just not happy to sit comatose in front of the TV) and my parents live in another country. I wish we had someone to leave the kids with for just an over-night.

in training

 

[mericletwins]

I had to, unhappily, vote for we never go w/o the kids, but that was because the choice I needed was not there. "We would happily go w/o the kids on vacations, but can't convince anyone to take them so we can go."

I would absolutely go on some trips with just DH and I, but our issue is childcare, not guilt. I go away for the weekend twice a year shopping w/ my mom, my friend and her mom and DH is with the kids and dh goes away for the weekend every fall with a bunch of guys tailgating in Penn State. We never get to go away together however and we would both love to.

 

[jodifla]

We've always done adult only trips. I love my kids - but my first focus is on my marriage. When the kids are grown and gone, that's what my dh and I will have left. It's so important to nurture it and put the marriage first. Then everything else falls into place.

When our children were younger, they would spend time with family or friends while we went away. My dh and I going away is part of our family dynamic, so it's never been an issue for the children. I've also done trips with my friends (as has my dh), trips with my mother, trips with only one child (mommy & me trips), etc.

These past few years, now that they are older and go to sleep away camp (this year we had four child free weeks - next year my oldest will be in his own apartment and my two youngest will both be at sleep away camp for 8 weeks each - we're going to feel like we're 20 again ) - my dh and I are like honeymooners.

Do I miss my kids? You bet. But, they're having a blast, we're having a blast. Works for our family.

I never could understand how people could be with their children 24/7 (I'm not talking about infants - I'm talking about toddler up through high school age). It would literally drive me insane, and quite honestly, I don't see how a rich and fulfilling marriage could survive so many years being ignored.

ITA! I can't understand the philosophy of "they're only young once --- so we can never ever be separated, even for 72 hours! My children will think they are abandoned, forget they ever had a mother, and will end up in an orphanage."

No wonder there are so many divorces! Too many women forget their husbands. (I'm sure some men do as well, but from reading on these boards, it seems to be mainly a woman thing.)

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I never could understand how people could be with their children 24/7 (I'm not talking about infants - I'm talking about toddler up through high school age). It would literally drive me insane, and quite honestly, I don't see how a rich and fulfilling marriage could survive so many years being ignored.

You honestly think people who don't go away without their kids are IGNORING their marriages? Huh. Interesting assumption.

 

[jodifla]

You honestly think people who don't go away without their kids are IGNORING their marriages? Huh. Interesting assumption.

Not all of them of course. But the overall mindset of putting kids on such a pedestal that the needs of the marriage suffer comes up over and over on these boards, when we see post after post after post about a DH leaving a DW. And normally, he's been having an affair for months.

 

[ilovejack02]

You honestly think people who don't go away without their kids are IGNORING their marriages? Huh. Interesting assumption.

I dont think EVERYONE does, but some woman do forget they are a wife and ONLY concentrate on the kids

I have a friend with 3 kids prego with the 4th . She has NEVER been away from her kids and they all sleep in the room with her and DH, BUT they are in bed by 7 each night and then she and dh spend time together in the evening as a cpl (must be how they have so many kiddies ), this is their rule and it is NEVER changed except when a newborn in the house and momma needs her rest. It works well for them and all are happy.

I have another friend who spends all her time with the kids and DH is totally ignored. She very rarely spends alone time with him, they dont fight at all and seem happy enough except i have noticed him not spending much time at home recently , it will be interesting to see how long he puts up with it and if he does put up with it what happens when the kids are gone, they are not going to know who the stranger next to them is.

Alone time with my DH makes me a better mother. Being a SAHM, when I spend countless weeks alone with DS ( DH's job has lots of overtime involved , so when he is working nights for long periods of time we dont see him much) I get very crabby and snappy so our little getaways help me recharge... lol and so do my Mom's night out with the girls.

 

[Minnie_me]

We've been married 10 1/2 years, and not only have we never vacationed without the kids, we didn't even get to go on a honeymoon! We got married 3 days after Christmas, and planned on going to Maine in the summer (I'm a teacher). Well, by summer, I was 6 months pregnant - LOL!

We would LOVE to go away by ourselves, but we really have no one to leave the kids with. My mother has major health issues, and his mom is married to an a$$hole who is not allowed around our kids. My brother lives 6 hours away. So we've considered driving to his place, dropping the kids off, and continuing on by ourselves. But it's just never happened.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

You honestly think people who don't go away without their kids are IGNORING their marriages? Huh. Interesting assumption.

Yup. I do. If a dh and dw can't carve out time for themselves, the marriage will, eventually, become loveless. That is my opinion.

I believe women who put their kids and their motherhood before themselves first and then their dh are just asking for trouble. I also agree this is a trait much more prevalent in women than in men.

Our kids are on loan to us. They don't define who we are and we should never live through them. My marriage is what is meant to last - our children are strong, independent, loving, considerate human beings - not because we smother them, but because we give them roots to depend on and wings to fly on their own. They see how "into" each other my dh and I are. It was funny - when we dropped our kids off at camp this summer, they knew we were leaving for WDW the next day. They were so excited for us.

Too many of today's mommies are so obsessed with their motherhood that they forget they are women first, wives second and mothers third.

It's my opinion. I have no patience for helicopter moms (and wait until you all get to the high school/college admission/freshman year of college stage - it gets pretty hysterical when these mommies call the Dean when their precious child flunks a class).

I do feel awful for those folks who wish to find the time (which is good because that means they are trying to) yet can't find someone dependable to be with their children. I'd watch them if I were closer!! Hopefully, as the kids get older, you'll find camp programs and even friends of theirs that they can spend a few nights with.

 

[eeyoregon]

I vote for "would never cross my mind to take a 1 year old to Disney World" option!! Flame away...but what would be the point?? The child certainly wouldn't get anything out of it but over stimulation, interrupted nap schedule, diaper rash and cranky parents. Certainly not my idea of a fun vacation.