Do you allow your teens to sample alcohol

[jeepgirl30]

First, my kids are young so obviously I do not! However, growing up my mom would allow my sister and i a 1/2 glass or a glass of wine at night as long as we were not going anywhere. When we went to my grandparents we always had wine there but again not going anywhere and never more than a glass.

NYE we were at a friends for dinner. They have teen daughters, one is 17 almost 18 the other is almost 16. The girls had a few of their friends over too and were all going out. I was a bit surprised to see all the kids had a glass of wine. None of the kids seemed impaired in anyway and i did not see any of them refill, in fact they all seemed to have mostly full glasses in front of them and not really drinking it, you know no one was "chugging" or anything like that!

**ETA: All the kids that were there had parents there as well. So it wasn't my friend giving booze to kids without the parents knowing.

Do you let your teens have a beer/wine?

I honestly do not know what I will do. I drink wine. I have wine after dinner and dh will drink beer. we have parties at the house with alcohol but have never had kids/teens drinking. My nephew came for thanksgiving and I did give him a sip of my wine but literally a sip! My sister said they never have given him any. I would be so worried about liability but i see the importance of teaching them how to drink responsibly before going off to college.

 

[Acklander]

Yes, I allowed my teens to have an occasional glass of wine or beer. No, I didn't make that decision for other people's kids.

 

[Tiggeroo]

In nj it is legal to give your teen alcohol in your home. I did do this for my older teens. No body else's and not drunkenness. I believe it is a parents responsibility to teach responsible alcohol use. I didn't want them to drink for the first time away at college. And I seriously doubt many people wait until. 21.

 

[cornflake]

I'm of the 'drink from childhood' school, heh. That's how I was raised, that's how I think it works best. If adults have wine at dinner, kids can too, just a wee glass. As they get older, they can have more in the glass. Teens can drink fulll glasses, or a cocktail, . In my experience, when it's forbidden is when people go nuts. If it's just always been there and part of life, no big deal.

Other people's kids don't get like, more than a glass or so, but it's not a big deal - in my neck of the woods. There's also no concern about driving. No one who was driving would get ANYTHING to drink, but that's not an issue.

 

[eliza61]

No but truthfully not for any morale or religious reasons. We simply don't drink a lot. My dh has an occasional beer when watching football and I think I had 2 glasses of wine total last year, so truthfully the situation never presented itself.
My kids have yet to even ask what it taste like and they are 18 & 20.
My oldest attended Marshall University in West Virginia. He said most of his friends didn't drink so whenever they were at a party they simply had soda's.

 

[yoopermom]

I'm originally from WI, where you could drink with your parents in a bar .

Really, though, what teen would want to get drunk in front of/with their parents? I would have been horrified to! We did have a glass of Asti (sp?) at holidays, a small glass of wine with Sunday family supper, maybe a beer at a family picnic, but that was it: one. And it really wasn't "fun" with all the family present.

We do not actively encourage or discourage DS17 from drinking in our presence. To date he has not even asked to do so.

Terri

 

[Myothername]

We did with DS21. He is a responsble drinker now. I figure we teach our kids to drive, how to balance a checkbook, why not teach them to drink responsibly. Mostly he would have a small drink when we were on vacation with my family. Each year we rent a house at the beach where there are around12-15 of us. We let the kids have a drink at night but nothing strong. We started this when they were around 12. Now my brother and his wife were never much in favor of it for their kids. I never understood that since they drank beer and mixed drinks. As a result their kids had the sneak a drink and the youngest got very intoxicated one night when we had all gone to bed and he was hanging out with older cousins. DS never had to sneak and he was responsible except on one occasion and he learned from that.

 

[Coconut36]

No and it is illegal in Arizona to do so. Even for a parent to give to their own child.

 

[jen0610]

While we don't have a stocked bar, we do have a couple of beers in the fridge, a couple of different bottle of liquor in the cabinet.

DS16 took a sniff of a beer DH was drinking 3 years ago and thank the god lord had the same reaction to beer that I do - UCK!!!!!!!!!!! It smells, so nasty, I can't even get the bottle to my lips to take a taste. Still to this day, he makes gagging noises if he sees DH drinking a beer. Wants nothing to do with mixed drinks at all.

DD14, she has gotten a couple of swigs of beer in. Didn't like the Killian's Irish Red, but said the Honey Wheat was ok. Didn't like the pina colda's or margarita's, but said the fuzzy naval was ok.

When the kids do taste our drinks, it is only in our house. The kids see that we don't down drink after drink after drink. They see that we don't drink and drive. They know, it's not going to be offered to their friends. They know it's not something they are to help themselves to.

 

[MrsPete]

Coming from a family of alcoholics, this is a topic I've studied since college (and that's almost three decades). How'd I escape it when so many of my family members fell victim to this terrible lifestyle? To answer your question, no. I do not allow my teens to drink. Here's why:

Urban myth: If you allow your teens to drink a little in your house, they'll learn how to drink responsbily, and they won't drink elsewhere. You know, the forbidden fruit concept.

Reality: You've been teaching your children to drink since they were maybe 5-6 and realized that a glass of wine isn't the same as a glass of soda. Since that age, they've either seen you drink responsibly, or they've seen you act like a fool under the influence of alcohol. They've been learning from your example, and that is more powerful than what you say to them now.

If you let them drink in your home, you're teaching them one simple thing: What it feels like to be drunk, and you're vastly increasing the chances that they'll drink outside your home as well. Teens who are allowed to drink "just a little" at home tend to drink 1/3 more away from their parents than teens who are not allowed this same privledge. And they're more likely to have problems managing their alcohol intake as an adult.

My own extended family mirrors what all the research says: About 75% of my cousins, who were allowed to drink at home, are alcoholics today. My siblings and I, who never drank at home with our parents, are able to enjoy one drink and stop.

Don't take my word for it. Here are a variety of sources saying that allowing teens to drink is a bad choice -- you can easily find more, but if you search for the opposite opinion, you'll find a few articles boasting strong opinions but none with factual information:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...es-teens-likely-develop-alcohol-problems.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4280767...ing-teen-drink-under-parents-watch-backfires/

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/201...hy-letting-kids-drink-at-home-isn-t-tres-bien

http://www.dontserveteens.gov/questions.html

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/letting-teens-drink-at-home-sorry-its-just-not-okay-566925.html

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/sep/01/health/he-responsibly1

http://www.parentactionondrugs.org/parentquestions.php

 

[cornflake]

No and it is illegal in Arizona to do so. Even for a parent to give to their own child.

That's so weird. I'm not doubting you or anything, I just find the law strange, given the reasons drinking age has been changed and how much lower the drinking age is/drinking standards in so many other countries and etc.

Here it's legal to give your kids alcohol in your home and, as with the poster above, order them drinks outside. My parents more than once ordered me booze in restaurants when I was obviously underage (at like a family party or whatnot), no one blinked. Though I was never carded when out until I was past 21 and drank outside without them for yeeeeears before that.

These posts make me sound all lushy, but I honestly really rarely drink, and never drank much - mostly socially a drink or two.

 

[Minnesota!]

Yes, I will allow it. I was allowed to sip from my parents growing up...starting very early...no harm no foul.

 

[LisaR]

You have two different issues within your post:

1. Do you allow YOUR teens to have wine/beer:

In our case, yes. Our kids have sampled alcohol. At this point (16 & 14) they still despise the taste of it so there isn't any half or full glass being offered. One tiny sip and they are grossed out and done.

2. Do you give your teens AND their underage friends wine/beer:

Hell no! I would never serve an underage child unless it was my own. And the fact that those kids were going out for the night.... I would strangle those parents if I ever found out they gave my minor child and their friends a glass of wine period, much less let them go out for the evening. These are kids that barely have enough driving experience under their belt to begin with. I don't want them driving around on a half or full glass of wine.

 

[cornflake]

If you let them drink in your home, you're teaching them one simple thing: What it feels like to be drunk

Really? Because I drank in my parents' home since the age I could sit at a table with my own place setting and I was never drunk, nor was anyone there. Not at dinner parties, not at holiday parties. Wine and spirits were there and available - no such thing as a locked liquor cabinet in my house - and yet no one, not my parents, friends or the kids, ever got anything close to drunk. Imagine.

Also, your links... I stayed away from the ones with urls like 'teendrinkingisevil' but one says -

Parents and families have been the subject of Turrisi's studies. He's found in a 2000 study published in the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, for example, that among 266 incoming college freshmen, what they learned at home affected the consequences they experienced after binge drinking. If, in questionnaires, they reported that they had learned that alcohol can be a social lubricant or transform them in good ways, they were more likely to suffer a blackout, headache or hangover or get into a fight or a regrettable sexual situation after heavy drinking. But if they learned at home that drinking was normal behavior, they were less likely to suffer those consequences, despite drinking too much.

Which is sortof counter to your argument. All the others seem to quote one study that I can't actually see w/o paying $5.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm of the 'drink from childhood' school, heh. That's how I was raised, that's how I think it works best. If adults have wine at dinner, kids can too, just a wee glass. As they get older, they can have more in the glass. Teens can drink fulll glasses, or a cocktail, . In my experience, when it's forbidden is when people go nuts. If it's just always been there and part of life, no big deal.

This is pretty much my view on the issue as well. DS13 doesn't like the taste of alcohol and never has anymore than sip once every few months of something. DD15 likes some cocktails (Margaritas mostly), gluhwein at Christmas Markets and wine. We have wine with dinner most nights and she generally has a glass as well.

Here it is perfectly legal for us to serve her wine, or even for her to have a gluhwein at a market with us (in fact when she orders the kinderpunch she usually has a hard time getting them to give her that instead of wine) and it will be legal for her to order beer and wine without us even around next year.

I don't offer/give alcohol to underage people who are not my own children though (however I have no problem offering and serving wine to DD's many friends who are already 16).

 

[java]

Coming from a family of alcoholics, this is a topic I've studied since college (and that's almost three decades). How'd I escape it when so many of my family members fell victim to this terrible lifestyle? To answer your question, no. I do not allow my teens to drink. Here's why:

Urban myth: If you allow your teens to drink a little in your house, they'll learn how to drink responsbily, and they won't drink elsewhere. You know, the forbidden fruit concept.

Reality: You've been teaching your children to drink since they were maybe 5-6 and realized that a glass of wine isn't the same as a glass of soda. Since that age, they've either seen you drink responsibly, or they've seen you act like a fool under the influence of alcohol. They've been learning from your example, and that is more powerful than what you say to them now.

If you let them drink in your home, you're teaching them one simple thing: What it feels like to be drunk, and you're vastly increasing the chances that they'll drink outside your home as well. Teens who are allowed to drink "just a little" at home tend to drink 1/3 more away from their parents than teens who are not allowed this same privledge. And they're more likely to have problems managing their alcohol intake as an adult.

My own extended family mirrors what all the research says: About 75% of my cousins, who were allowed to drink at home, are alcoholics today. My siblings and I, who never drank at home with our parents, are able to enjoy one drink and stop.

Don't take my word for it. Here are a variety of sources saying that allowing teens to drink is a bad choice -- you can easily find more, but if you search for the opposite opinion, you'll find a few articles boasting strong opinions but none with factual information:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...es-teens-likely-develop-alcohol-problems.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4280767...ing-teen-drink-under-parents-watch-backfires/

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/201...hy-letting-kids-drink-at-home-isn-t-tres-bien

http://www.dontserveteens.gov/questions.html

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/letting-teens-drink-at-home-sorry-its-just-not-okay-566925.html

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/sep/01/health/he-responsibly1

http://www.parentactionondrugs.org/parentquestions.php

Is everyone in Europe an alcoholic? There drinking is not the taboo it is here in the US. Wine is served with dinner and whoever wants some gets some.

I don't serve my kids liquor in my home, but I think it's a reach to say it leads to alcoholism.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have an 18 year old and a 9 year old.

We started letting our son have a glass of champagne with us on New Years about three or four years ago. We let our 9 year old have sip this past New Years.

Other than that, we don't give them any alcohol.

 

[Acklander]

Coming from a family of alcoholics, this is a topic I've studied since college (and that's almost three decades). How'd I escape it when so many of my family members fell victim to this terrible lifestyle? To answer your question, no. I do not allow my teens to drink.
If you let them drink in your home, you're teaching them one simple thing: What it feels like to be drunk, and you're vastly increasing the chances that they'll drink outside your home as well. Teens who are allowed to drink "just a little" at home tend to drink 1/3 more away from their parents than teens who are not allowed this same privledge. And they're more likely to have problems managing their alcohol intake as an adult.
My own extended family mirrors what all the research says: About 75% of my cousins, who were allowed to drink at home, are alcoholics today. My siblings and I, who never drank at home with our parents, are able to enjoy one drink

[

http://www.parentactionondrugs.org/parentquestions.php

You're talking about alcoholism which is a whole different thing. I think what parents are talking about when the say they're taking away the forbidden fruit aspect is more along the lines of binge drinking, or just drinking for the sake of drinking.
With alcoholics it's a whole different thing - some people are more prone to addiction than others. Studies have shown that's more of a run in the family type thing. In my family, out of the 4 grand parents, one was an alcoholic. Out of my parents, one drank casually, one didn't drink at all (the child of the alcoholic). Out of the 4 biological children of my parents, one doesn't drink at all, 2 are casual drinkers, and one is a recovering alcoholic. We were all raised exactly the same way though. Out of our kids, the 2 casual drinkers (myself and one sister) we have no problems with our teens having the occasional glass of wine. The recovering alcoholic doesn't allow it. For her, alcohol is something to be afraid of.
That being said, Im sure you will hear of people who drank as teens and became alcoholics just like you will hear of people who drank as teens who drink responsibly. I think the drinking as teens has nothing to do with it. Either you got the gene or you don't.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Reality: You've been teaching your children to drink since they were maybe 5-6 and realized that a glass of wine isn't the same as a glass of soda. Since that age, they've either seen you drink responsibly, or they've seen you act like a fool under the influence of alcohol. They've been learning from your example, and that is more powerful than what you say to them now.

I do agree with this part of your post

If you let them drink in your home, you're teaching them one simple thing: What it feels like to be drunk, and you're vastly increasing the chances that they'll drink outside your home as well. Teens who are allowed to drink "just a little" at home tend to drink 1/3 more away from their parents than teens who are not allowed this same privledge. And they're more likely to have problems managing their alcohol intake as an adult.

I think this is silly. Sorry, but I do
You might was well say that if we ever let the kids drive on very slowly on a private road on our property we were teaching them to have a wreck (not that we have such a road or do, but I know people with ranches and farms whose younger teens drive trucks on their property either for working on the property or simply so they will no how in an emergency since they live so far from other help, etc.

 

[dngnb8]

no