Do you allow your teens to sample alcohol

[Coconut36]

Am I the only one who had wine at church growing up? Granted, it was only a "shot" of wine during communion, but is that some sort of loophole to the drinking age? Religious reasons? My parents often offered to let me try a sip of their beer or wine here or there, but let me tell you, after that church wine, I never took them up on it. I still despise the taste of alcohol, and there's only a handful of wines and cocktails that I'll drink. I don't think I'd drink beer unless my life depended on it.. that stuff is NASTY!

My brother, on the other hand, became quite the active drinker and party guy once he graduated from high school (which my parents still don't know about). So.. there's your nature vs. nurture - we both grew up in an identical environment, but came to polar opposite conclusions about alcohol.

Yes some states have exemptions for religious reasons..Arizona is one of them.

 

[cornflake]

I am shocked and amazed at how many ppl allow their kids to drink alcohol under the skewed assumption that by GIVING THEM BOOZE you are teaching them to drink RESPONSIBLY. No you aren't. You are teaching them TO DRINK.

And one PP said they even let a 12 yr old drink! Really? That to me is disgusting and should be illegal if it's not.

I never let my kid smoke pot so that he would smoke responsibly, nor did I ever let him drink. I am referring to my oldest, the 26 yr old. He had one parent he saw drink and one parent (me) he never saw drink. He never asked us to taste booze and there's no way in hell I would have given ANY KID, mine or otherwise, wine or booze.

Sometimes I think ppl should have to be licensed to have kids.

I think ppl want to make themselves feel less like a piece of crap parent for giving a young kid booze so they make up these cute little sayings about teaching them to drink responsibly. That's just total BS. Teach them how to smoke cigarettes responsibly. It's legal, like booze. It's harmful, like booze. And don't say it's not harmful. If you drink enough it will KILL YOU. So yes, it is harmful. If you do it and drive you will go to jail. It's harmful.

I am assuming these parents are also the same type of ppl who advise pregnant women to drink because "its' good for you and the baby" "My doctor said so"

There is no reason to assume that your kids are going to grow up to be drinkers. They may grow up and go to college and never start drinking. But you giving them booze is making it OK, a part of every day life.

I disagree with every day alcohol consumption. To have a glass of Champagne on NYE or toast a glass at a wedding is one thing, but if you sit down and drink beer or wine EVERY DAY, you have a drinking problem. And you are going to lead your kids into the same kind of lifestyle. Especially if they have seen you drink every day of their lives.

I don't know ONE SINGLE PERSON in all my life that has ever thought it was OK to give young teens booze. It's just shocking.

Cigarettes are harmful. Period. The end. There's no, in moderation, cigarettes may be beneficial!

Yes, booze in quantity will kill you. So will water. Drink enough water and you will keel right over. Consume enough ketchup and it'll kill you.

In moderation, liquor, for most people, is not only not harmful but yes, can have beneficial effects.

Unless you have a prescription for it in a state that allows such, pot is straight up illegal. Cigarettes are straight illegal for people under 18.

Liquor is not. In some states it is. In my state it's legal for parents to give their own kids liquor - in the home or in an establishment, and that's true in a number of states.

You may not know people who let their kids drink, but clearly it's not that rare.

Most people at least try drinking at some point - most people drink on occasion as adults. Many people enjoy wine, beer, etc., in moderation as part of their regular lives. If you don't, that's fine.

It doesn't make people who like wine with dinner or a cocktail out with friends, immoral or crazypants, however, which is kind of what it's sounding like you think.

 

[goofy!]

I am shocked and amazed at how many ppl allow their kids to drink alcohol under the skewed assumption that by GIVING THEM BOOZE you are teaching them to drink RESPONSIBLY. No you aren't. You are teaching them TO DRINK.

And one PP said they even let a 12 yr old drink! Really? That to me is disgusting and should be illegal if it's not.

I never let my kid smoke pot so that he would smoke responsibly, nor did I ever let him drink. I am referring to my oldest, the 26 yr old. He had one parent he saw drink and one parent (me) he never saw drink. He never asked us to taste booze and there's no way in hell I would have given ANY KID, mine or otherwise, wine or booze.

Sometimes I think ppl should have to be licensed to have kids.

I think ppl want to make themselves feel less like a piece of crap parent so, more than 50% of European parents are crap parents? Interesting. Especially since European kids have far less public drunkeness and binge drinking than US teens. for giving a young kid booze so they make up these cute little sayings about teaching them to drink responsibly. That's just total BS. Teach them how to smoke cigarettes responsibly. It's legal, like booze. It's harmful, like booze. And don't say it's not harmful. If you drink enough it will KILL YOU. So yes, it is harmful. If you do it and drive you will go to jail. It's harmful.

I am assuming these parents are also the same type of ppl who advise pregnant women to drink because "its' good for you and the baby" "My doctor said so" My doctor actually did recommend a glass of wine a night after the first trimester. I was starting to dilate at 22 weeks, so she suggested a glass of wine to calm the muscles.

There is no reason to assume that your kids are going to grow up to be drinkers. They may grow up and go to college and never start drinking. But you giving them booze is making it OK, a part of every day life.

I disagree with every day alcohol consumption. To have a glass of Champagne on NYE or toast a glass at a wedding is one thing, but if you sit down and drink beer or wine EVERY DAY, you have a drinking problem.You do realize that the American Medical Association has said that not only is a glass of wine a night not harmful, but it is actually very beneficial to health And you are going to lead your kids into the same kind of lifestyle. Especially if they have seen you drink every day of their lives.

I don't know ONE SINGLE PERSON in all my life that has ever thought it was OK to give young teens booze. It's just shocking.

You have the right to parent your child the way you prefer, but calling all parents who don't see eye to eye with you as "crap" is painting with a very broad brush, especially since many of your suppositions are not based in fact of any kind.

something to ponder...

Brown University anthropologist Dwight Heath has identified characteristics of several Southern European subcultures where teens legally drink as early as 16 but binging and the violence that often accompanies excess are much less common. These cultures teach their teens something many Americans can't grasp - the difference between moderation and abuse. Teenagers have two equally acceptable options: (a) to abstain or (b) to drink in moderation. Parents do more than remove car keys. They teach and model in their lives the lesson that abuse of alcohol at any age is totally unacceptable.

In the U.S. context, a recent study in the Journal of Adolescent Health by Dr. Kristie Long Foley provides survey data showing that drinking alcohol with parents reduces teen binge drinking. It teaches teenagers responsible drinking habits and extinguishes some of the novelty of drinking.

 

[Coconut36]

I agree. I also believe hereditary genes from an alcoholic leads to alcoholism first.

As someone who had alcoholic grandparents (one on each side) and great grandparent I do wonder about this but it makes me extra nervous in regards to finding any value in offering it to a minor.

As long as the teen doesn't leave the home and drive and the adults are not offering it to children not their own it's an area where I think parents do what they feel right for their kids.

I will not be offering it to my kids as I see no value or learning experience in doing so and as I mentioned it is illegal in my state and not worth it.

Interesting (as everyone says "well in Europe they don't have issues")...
http://www.higheredcenter.org/servi...-problems-countries-where-youth-are-allowed-d

http://www.mdt.mt.gov/safety/docs/taskforces/ojjdp_feb01.pdf

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7093143.stm

I personally don't believe that giving kids alcohol teaches them responsibility in regards to drinking..I believe that is observed behavior in regards to watching parents make appropriate choices and moderate drinking choices not being allowed to consume alcohol young but it is not a hill I would die on to fight what other parents choose to do in that regard assuming their choice does not create risk (the teen driving after drinking) to my family and that they don't offer it outside their own children/family.

 

[JaneBanks]

I am shocked and amazed at how many ppl allow their kids to drink alcohol under the skewed assumption that by GIVING THEM BOOZE you are teaching them to drink RESPONSIBLY. No you aren't. You are teaching them TO DRINK.

And one PP said they even let a 12 yr old drink! Really? That to me is disgusting and should be illegal if it's not.

I never let my kid smoke pot so that he would smoke responsibly, nor did I ever let him drink. I am referring to my oldest, the 26 yr old. He had one parent he saw drink and one parent (me) he never saw drink. He never asked us to taste booze and there's no way in hell I would have given ANY KID, mine or otherwise, wine or booze.

Sometimes I think ppl should have to be licensed to have kids.

I think ppl want to make themselves feel less like a piece of crap parent for giving a young kid booze so they make up these cute little sayings about teaching them to drink responsibly. That's just total BS. Teach them how to smoke cigarettes responsibly. It's legal, like booze. It's harmful, like booze. And don't say it's not harmful. If you drink enough it will KILL YOU. So yes, it is harmful. If you do it and drive you will go to jail. It's harmful.

I am assuming these parents are also the same type of ppl who advise pregnant women to drink because "its' good for you and the baby" "My doctor said so"

There is no reason to assume that your kids are going to grow up to be drinkers. They may grow up and go to college and never start drinking. But you giving them booze is making it OK, a part of every day life.

I disagree with every day alcohol consumption. To have a glass of Champagne on NYE or toast a glass at a wedding is one thing, but if you sit down and drink beer or wine EVERY DAY, you have a drinking problem. And you are going to lead your kids into the same kind of lifestyle. Especially if they have seen you drink every day of their lives.

I don't know ONE SINGLE PERSON in all my life that has ever thought it was OK to give young teens booze. It's just shocking.

Thank you for insulting the Italian side of my family. I'm sure they will change their whole culture JUST FOR YOU!

It's just shocking that someone would do something different than you!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Cigarettes are harmful. Period. The end. There's no, in moderation, cigarettes may be beneficial!

Yes, booze in quantity will kill you. So will water. Drink enough water and you will keel right over. Consume enough ketchup and it'll kill you.

In moderation, liquor, for most people, is not only not harmful but yes, can have beneficial effects.

Unless you have a prescription for it in a state that allows such, pot is straight up illegal. Cigarettes are straight illegal for people under 18.

Liquor is not. In some states it is. In my state it's legal for parents to give their own kids liquor - in the home or in an establishment, and that's true in a number of states.

You may not know people who let their kids drink, but clearly it's not that rare.

Most people at least try drinking at some point - most people drink on occasion as adults. Many people enjoy wine, beer, etc., in moderation as part of their regular lives. If you don't, that's fine.

It doesn't make people who like wine with dinner or a cocktail out with friends, immoral or crazypants, however, which is kind of what it's sounding like you think.

You have the right to parent your child the way you prefer, but calling all parents who don't see eye to eye with you as "crap" is painting with a very broad brush, especially since many of your suppositions are not based in fact of any kind.

Kudos to these two posters for finding the time and patience to provide a calm and rationale response

I don't care if someone else lets thei teen drink at home or not. I am not sure why anyone sees fit to care much what I do in that regard either

 

[cornflake]

Thank you for insulting the Italian side of my family. I'm sure they will change their whole culture JUST FOR YOU!

It's just shocking that someone would do something different than you!

Hah, I used to know a couple of expat Italians who lived near me. One had a teenager and a preteen, the other had a like... 11-year-old. Both houses, as soon as the parents got home from work and started dinner, the bottle of wine was opened and everyone who wanted got a glass.

Based on that experience, I'm thinking all of Italy has "a drinking problem." Likewise most of France, Germany, etc., etc. and from watching Mad Men, everyone in the 60s! It's amazing we've made it this far.

 

[SeaSpray]

We didn't allow underage drinking in our home, with the following results:


DS23 (almost 24) drank with friends before he was 21. While he didn't drink often, he'd drink to excess when he did drink. I didn't know about this at the time, but he has since told us.

On his 21st birthday DH and I took him out to dinner at his favorite restaurant and that was the first time that DS ever drank in front of us.

Today, he doesn't drink at all due to the positive changes that he made in his overall lifestyle. He didn't have a problem specifically with alcohol, but he's abstaining from it, and it's totally his choice. I wouldn't be surprised if one day in the future he decides to drink (moderately). I say, good for him. We don't *need* alcohol to live.

DS20 (almost 21) has only ever had a 1/2 glass of champagne at a wedding that he attended this past year. He didn't like it, and he's against underage drinking, in general, and doesn't understand the "drink to get drunk" mentality that a lot of young people have.

He'll be turning 21 a month before our next Disney cruise, and he said that he does intend to try a beer and some mixed drinks while on vacation.


As for DH and I, we are not big drinkers at all. Neither of us like beer, and we usually don't drink at home unless it's a specific occasion.

On vacation, we do love to have some drinks though.


Growing up, my parents didn't drink beer, although they'd have it in the house for friends and relatives. They would have a drink or two at a wedding and at holidays. I never really saw hard liquor in the house. I guess I didn't see drinking as a big deal either way. I waited until my 18th birthday (legal age at that time) to have my first glass of wine. I think it was several months before I had another drink after that. lol

P.S. Neither of my parents ever smoked, and none of us 7 kids grew up to be smokers. I guess that subject is for another thread though. lol

 

[charming23]

My parents always let me have sips of whatever they were having. Once I turned 15 if I wanted a small glass of wine, I was allowed. At 18 I could have a small glass of a mixed drink at family parties if I wanted. This was how both my parents were raised as well. I am not a heavy drinker, neither were my parents. I have never been so drunk that I forgot what happened the night before, and I do not drink very often.

My cousins are the exact opposite. My Aunt forbid them to touch any alcohol until they turned 21. They are now 26 and 23, and drink way too much. In fact the 26 year old is very close to flunking out of college because all he does is hang out and drink. The 23 year old spends her weekends drinking. She has called me many a late Saturday night as drunk as a skunk.

 

[scbelleatheart]

Interesting thread! My kids were allowed a sip or two at special occasions. We bought them sparkling cider for New Years. We allowed wine at family gatherings. They all drink responsibly as adults and know not to drink and drive. They also know the repercussions of drinking. We have cocktails on Fridays after the work week is done.
Middle DS was hit by a drunk driver as he walked to his dorm and the driver fled the scene. The driver got 30 days in jail and we had to pay all the medical bills for DS. The driver had minimum insurance. He also was allowed to keep his license for a year until it came to trial. He didn't remember hitting the boys and backing over them again to leave the scene.
The twist to all this for me is our men/women in service cannot not drink until they are 21 but they can go die for our country.
Irony?

 

[Dragonfly_34]

DH doesn't care for wine and I don't care for beer so we only have that in the house occasionally. However our bar is fully stocked with a variety of liquor ~ even so we don't drink very often and never at the same time. Having young children at home, I worry about us needing to go to the ER for some reason and not being able to drive there because of us both having alcohol in our system.

That being said, our oldest has sampled beer, wine and some various mixed drinks.....but only at home.....and by sampled I mean he's taken a sip or two, never more. While I don't mind him having a taste every once in a while, I would never offer anything to his underage friends and I don't drink anything when they are around and/or spending the night.

 

[bookgirl]

I don't see anything wrong in letting an older child be exposed to alcohol in controlled situation in a limited capacity. And only my boys, I would never let one of their friends drink in my presence. I have drank with my older god daughter and god son (between the ages of 18-21, they're adults now) but their mom was there and that was her choice.

I've let my 12 year old nephew have a sip of my beer or wine. (one twin actually, one asked to try a couple of time, the other has never asked to try a sip and I've never offered either of them first) My parent's did the same with me. I was never given my 'own' drink but could have one or two sips of their drinks when they did, which was only at parties or social occasions.

I never felt the need to go out and drink in high school or to experiment. I knew what alcohol tasted like and my parents were always very honest with the dangers and the responsibility of drinking. They let me drink in a very limited capacity at 18, but only while under supervision.

I also knew that I had a free pass if I called and said I couldn't drive or if I was with someone who shouldn't drive. Nothing said that night and a talk the next day about rights' and responsibility. My parents never got that phone call from me or my brother. We have both always been responsible when it comes to alcohol.

In fact I've always been very conservative in how much the boys have ever seen me drink as 1. I think the adults behavior not what they say is the best example for kids, and 2. In some situations ie by water or when doing activities that require your brain and body to function at peak, the best example for kids is to see adults refraining from alcohol.

Sitting around the house or while entertaining is different, and I want the boys to see an adult using good judgement so that they will also use good judgement. My brother and family is much the same. Though I don't think my brother would EVER give my nephew a glass of wine. He tends to drink more than I, but is more protective of the boys. My mom and step dad rarely drink so the boys never get a chance to ask them, and my dad and stepmom only drink to the tune of a night cap or the occasional wine with dinner but the boys see them rarely and would not be inclined to ask.

 

[dizcrazee]

We don't drink at all and don't keep any alcohol in the house, so of course, I would never offer a teen any kind of alcoholic beverage in my house. None of our close friends or immediate family drink either, and social events at our house don't involve alcohol.

I realize that my dd may chose to drink when she goes to college, but hopefully we are showing her that it is possible to have a fun life without drinking. I have talked to her about the dangers of drinking to excess, so hopefully she will be prepared to handle social drinking situations in the future.

 

[SeaSpray]

Interesting thread! My kids were allowed a sip or two at special occasions. We bought them sparkling cider for New Years. We allowed wine at family gatherings. They all drink responsibly as adults and know not to drink and drive. They also know the repercussions of drinking. We have cocktails on Fridays after the work week is done.
Middle DS was hit by a drunk driver as he walked to his dorm and the driver fled the scene. The driver got 30 days in jail and we had to pay all the medical bills for DS. The driver had minimum insurance. He also was allowed to keep his license for a year until it came to trial. He didn't remember hitting the boys and backing over them again to leave the scene.
The twist to all this for me is our men/women in service cannot not drink until they are 21 but they can go die for our country.
Irony?

That is awful!!!! I hope your DS is ok now.

As for men and women in the service, I have to say that I tend to agree with you on that, that it's a little twisted to let them go to war but not let them have a beer or a rum and coke.

 

[happygirl]

Nope. I wouldn't allow my underage kids to drink it's illegal

 

[PrincesCJM]

During my freshman or sophomore year of high school, my parents started to allow me to have a glass on wine with holiday dinners. Towards the end of high school or while in college (before turning 21), I was allowed to drink at family functions. It was never more than a glass of wine or mixed drink and I was never drunk. I am the youngest of two. I don't recall ever seeing my brother drink during high school but that could be because he wouldn't drink wine or because we almost never had beer in the house.

My parents have never been big drinkers. Before becoming pregnant, I was averaging one drink a year - at Christmas eve. I drank slightly more in college but only had one night of being really drunk. I hated how I felt during/after and never will do that again. I have never seen DH drink in the almost 7 years we have been together.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

They haven't asked, and if they do, I don't know quite yet how I will respond, but I probably wouldn't let them.

 

[jujube]

Yes, we did and do allow our teens to drink. It is legal for them to drink as long as they are with their parents.

Rather than either side acting as though they have the only correct answer, maybe respect that others have differing opinions. What works for my family might not work for yours and vice versa. I respect that other parents have varied viewpoints on child rearing and I would hope that mine would be respected as well.

 

[elizke]

In my family growing up, we were not allowed to drink except for Catholic Mass wine. Three out of 8 siblings are alcoholics. This means nothing in regards to what our parents did or did not let us do at home.

My kids are 13 and 15 now. They both hated the 1st communion wine and have not asked for any such thing since, but as they get older, if they ask, I think I will treat sampling at home with a casual attitude. Excess is the sin, the mistake, the evil, of anything. Casually partaking is something I do want to share, whether it's food or drink. I'm really not quite ready for it at their ages, but as they get closer to legal age I will be.

Interesting thread!

 

[krcit]

AN excellent point with which I totally agree


In the past few days I have learned from the DIS that I am cheap, low class and kind of slutty, and now I can add in that I have a drinking problem because I have a half to a full glass on wine with dinner most evenings and that I am a "piece of crap parent"

Me too!!! Hey, let's get together, get drunk and flirt with each other's husbands!


I have let my almost 17 year old have a sip of my drink when she asked. I would not allow any of her underage friends to drink in my home and would be very upset if another parent allowed my child to drink.