Do you allow your teens to sample alcohol

[bettymae1121]

I remember asking my mom for a sip of wine when I was about 5 or so. I was shocked when she said yes and handed me her glass.

I just about spit it out, it tasted so bad! Mom knew I'd hate it, that's why she allowed it. And it worked, I had no desire to drink as a teen and I didn't ask my mom for a drink again until about 2 weeks before my 21st birthday, I asked my mom if I could go ahead and have a wine cooler with dinner since I was so close to being legal (although in IL it's legal for parents to give to their own kids, but I didn't know that at the time).

 

[Robinrs]

And given that diet soda is associated with weight gain, kidney damage, tooth enamel erosion, and bone loss, I'm sure there are folks here ready to call CPS on you!

Yes, I'm sure there are many people in jail and dead because of DUI of Diet Coke!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Some of the other posters reminded me of my Spanish Club trip to Spain when I was 15. The chaperones ordered everyone sangria with dinner one night, and turned a blind eye to us all going out in a group to a local dance club (2 drinks included with the cover charge) on another. We all took care of ourselves and managed public transportation in a foreign language just fine on a couple drinks. There was also some raiding of room fridges going on, but I didn't participate in that sort of debauchery.

Good times!

My DD is 12 and she is has been allowed to taste for a couple of years -- she's learning about why we buy and use certain wines with certain foods, especially for cooking and why they taste different. She doesn't ask for a glass of her own, but I wouldn't say no if she asked for one now -- a small one, like what I had at her age, with dinner. Yup -- I'm encouraging her to be a wine snob like I was.

This. I was shocked arriving at college to find that most of the other kids didn't know anything about wine. I'm not talking in depth knowledge, but things like 'steak goes with red' and 'reislings are sweet'. It was years before people stopped looking at me cross-eyed when I'd bring a bottle to a party (apparently, a 6 pack of Bud is expected, but a chablis is not ).

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP back. I actually don't see anything wrong with what they did, i was just surprised because i thought laws were so much stricter now and times were different.

My kids occassionally will tease about having a sip but we've said no, they are only 9 and 11. I think in a year or so i'll allow the older one a sip of mine if she asks.

I also edited my orginial post to add the kids all had parents there as well so my friend was not giving kids wine without their parents knowing.

If all the parents were there then I think it is 100% okay.

I also understood from your OP that you were not judging--just realizing you need to start thinking about how you will handle this with your own kids. I'm glad you asked, I have enjoyed the discussion.

 

[Chelley00]

I'm really surprised at the number of people who give their kids alcohol, mainly because it's illegal where I live even for a parent to supply alcohol.

My oldest was thrilled to go on a cruise this summer because the counties we went to had a legal drinking age of 18. We told him he could drink what he bought and he could only have one a day as that was a responsible drinker but he wasn't too keen on the idea of spending his money on alcohol

 

[Lorelei Lee]

I dunno, I had professors used to come out to a bar with us. It was nice, cause they always felt compelled to buy at least one round.

When I was in college one prof invited the whole class to his townhouse for wine and cheese. The legal drinking age was 18 at the time and we were all juniors and seniors.


I think the culture is different now. DD took another class with the same prof and didn't mention socializing with him.

 

[Andtototoo]

A few years ago, we went on a group trip to Italy. A number of families included teens. On our last night, we all went out to dinner together. Wine was included in the price. The parents allowed their kids to drink without any rules or guidelines -- they all got blotto drunk. Our guide was so humiliated at their drunken behavior that she made them -- and their parents -- leave early.

 

[MrsDuck]

My parents let my try alcohol before I was 21. It wasn't a big deal at all...

 

[aimyourarrowshigh]

I feel like the US is stricter with alcohol.

 

[disykat]

I am teaching my kids to drink responsibly by following the legal drinking age.

Moderation, I'm teaching by example.

There are A LOT of things I teach by simply talking to them about it, not by having them sample the behavior!

Giving my kids alcohol has never even occured to me. My dad did give me alcohol once. "Scope" had become popular so my dad brought a bottle and pronouced that it tasted just like Creme d Menthe. He had us all taste a sip to prove him right!

 

[gina2000]

As far as water killing you...Booze you can open ONE SMALL PINT of straight liquor and drink it straight down with no dilution or no back up drinks and just let your body absorb all those ounces of liquor at one time, and it might kill you in a matter of an hour. Drink ONE PINT of water and it will not harm you whatsoever. For water to harm you, you have to drink more than 4 or 5 gallons in less than one hour and usually the only ppl who have ever done that are ppl tripping on Ecstasy. If you ever read a story of someone dying from over-drinking water, they also had drugs in their system. So that's not a good example either.

So my points remain.

And the ppl who will get defensive over my statements are the ones giving their kids booze or the ones who DO drink every night.

I just gotta say you crack me up with your blanket statements. A friend of my son's almost died from drinking too much water - he was at the US Olympic Center in Colorado training. He's a swimmer - and almost died from too much hydration. The swimmers were told to drink, drink, drink and he took it to an extreme. He almost died....and miraculously....he had no drugs in his system.

My son (17) has had a few drinks here or there - nothing regularly. My husband and I do have a drink or two on weekends......his family rarely drinks and my family enjoys wine with dinner. None of us are alcoholics or even close.

I really do think a person has to have to have an addictive gene combined with a strong family relationship with a substance to cause addiction. I'm no doctor though. I just anecdotally observe.

 

[scrapquitler]

First, my kids are young so obviously I do not! However, growing up my mom would allow my sister and i a 1/2 glass or a glass of wine at night as long as we were not going anywhere. When we went to my grandparents we always had wine there but again not going anywhere and never more than a glass.

NYE we were at a friends for dinner. They have teen daughters, one is 17 almost 18 the other is almost 16. The girls had a few of their friends over too and were all going out. I was a bit surprised to see all the kids had a glass of wine. None of the kids seemed impaired in anyway and i did not see any of them refill, in fact they all seemed to have mostly full glasses in front of them and not really drinking it, you know no one was "chugging" or anything like that!

**ETA: All the kids that were there had parents there as well. So it wasn't my friend giving booze to kids without the parents knowing.

Do you let your teens have a beer/wine?

I honestly do not know what I will do. I drink wine. I have wine after dinner and dh will drink beer. we have parties at the house with alcohol but have never had kids/teens drinking. My nephew came for thanksgiving and I did give him a sip of my wine but literally a sip! My sister said they never have given him any. I would be so worried about liability but i see the importance of teaching them how to drink responsibly before going off to college.

My oldest is 15. As of now, I have not. But when she is 17/18 I will not have a problem giving her a glass of wine/beer/champagne at a family function. She will definitely NOT be driving or going out afterwards, and would NOT give it to another child.

I think that moderation must be taught, and if we forbid it all the time, they will never learn moderation. The kids I knew in college who were the biggest binge drinkers were the ones that had never been allowed to drink at home by their parents. My parents taught us responsiblity and the importance of not drinking and driving, and those lessons have carried over into adulthood for us. If my older teen wants to have a drink, I'd rather they do it at home with my supervision than out in the woods served from the back of a pick up truck

 

[scrapquitler]

Am I the only one who had wine at church growing up? Granted, it was only a "shot" of wine during communion, but is that some sort of loophole to the drinking age? Religious reasons?.

I wonder about this, too. Until the time I was married, (and I stopped going after that because we moved away from our church) the church where I grew up served only wine for communion. From the time we had our first communion (in middle school) we always had the little shotglass size portion of wine with communion, and nobody ever gave it a thought. I guess that it was technically illegal? Not sure though. Maybe it was cooking wine? It defnitely wasn't a non-alcoholic one. My dad was one of the communion assistants and I know he would have known if it was

 

[CathrynRose]

This is an interesting topic. I have a friend who absolutely lets her teens drink, when they are in their home. Parties, mostly - SuperBowl, NYE, etc.... I am super duper shocked, her husband is cool with it, too. He's so *strict*.

That being said - I don't get it. I'm not okay with it. They're not adults. They're not of legal drinking age. I'm not okay with it, at all. AND to top of my condundrum of morals - I'm so, so, so not a prude. I swear as a part of a normal conversation (the F word, and it's derivatives, are my personal faves. So handy!) I have tattoos, I smoke, I drink - but my answer, if they ever asked (which they haven't, cuz they know the answer) would be "**** no...."

I guess I'm confused as to why I'm not okay with it - but I'm not. I actually got into a tiff with my g/f on our last Disney trip, when she told my son (16) "Oh, try this... so good!" to a sip of the Grand Marnier slush. WT**bleeeep**, I believe I said.

I don't know. I'm not okay with it. Nor am I oblivious to when my 20 y/o has had a hang-over. But I take comfort in knowing, I didn't tell him he could have any.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I wonder about this, too. Until the time I was married, (and I stopped going after that because we moved away from our church) the church where I grew up served only wine for communion. From the time we had our first communion (in middle school) we always had the little shotglass size portion of wine with communion, and nobody ever gave it a thought. I guess that it was technically illegal? Not sure though. Maybe it was cooking wine? It defnitely wasn't a non-alcoholic one. My dad was one of the communion assistants and I know he would have known if it was

Most states have legal exemptions for taking part in church ceremonies (and many also have them for things like drinking at home when served by parents etc).