Do you actually enjoy "extended" family occasions, like Thanksgiving/Christmas?

[Lovely2CU]

I've got to ask, as there are always posts just before or afterwards complaining/whining about something or other on the CB!

Perhaps you don't do them anymore and celebrate with just your "immediate" family instead.

 

[minkydog]

I don't like to celebrate major holidays with extended family, other than July 4. I think I like that holiday because we can all be outside doing stuff, instead of stuck in the house. Usually we stay home with our own kids and just have our little Thanksgiving or Christmas, complete with our own traditions. We very very rarely have family drive up to celebrate with us(it's 400 miles.)

Last year we did take the camper down to Florida so we could celebrate Thanksgiving with DHs sister, BIL, and mother. With the camper we had our own place to retire to, rather than bunking with his sister & BIL. But the day was a disaster. DD16 was very sick with pneumonia & asthma, t103. My SIL wanted to cook the whole meal despite my pleas to let me help(*I have a stove, oven & microwave in the camper.) She didn't thaw the turkey ahead, she made only 2 cups of collards greens, a little dressing, no cranberry sauce, and a big bowl of mashed rutabagas. There wasn't nearly enough food for 7 people and the kids went hungry for lack of stuff they would eat(and my kids are not picky eaters!) Not only that, but she wanted us to stay all afternoon. They don't watch TV, didn't want to put a tree up, didn't want to go for a walk. Just sit there and talk. Well, I'm sorry but I have this mentally retarded 14yo who can't sit still, doesn't play with toys or watch videos. He's a handful anyway, but in a situation like that it's really difficult. SIL & BIL don't do anything to help--in fact, they don't want him to touch them. They don't want him to touch anything. Bil goes around behind him sweeping the footprints off the carpet and wiping the counters. It's really uncomfortable.

The worst part, for me, is that I could't get away other than to take Christian walking. So that's what i did. Five hours of walking Christian while DH sits around and talks to his family. (To give him some credit, DHs lung/heart disability precludes him from all the walking. He can no longer handle Christian by himself.) So it's an exhausting, miserable day for me. I was never so glad to get back to our campsite where we could let our hair down, get some real dinner, and not worry about what thing Christian might get into next.

I am sooooo glad we stayed home this year!

 

[englishteacha]

I have 7 siblings. We are having our family Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. There will be more than 30 people there, I'm sure. This is just my mom, siblings, their spouses, their kids, their kids spouses/significant others, and a few of my grandnieces/nephews. It's generally a day of small talk, visiting, and leaving as soon as is polite because my husband does not like crowds. I prefer smaller gatherings, but I seldom get to attend one because my family is so large. I know I'm going to get the "when are you gonna have kids..." spiel and I'm tired of it. I also had to peel, cut and cook 9 pounds of sweet potatoes to bring. Yay.

 

[ogreenlee]

I would love it if we were celebrating with our good friends instead.

 

[powellrj]

We have never been able to do it because in our 31 years of marriage, DH has always had to work the day before and after every holiday! I have no idea if I would enjoy it or not!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Depends on which of the extended family I'm with.

 

[happygirl]

No not really. I do enjoy it more with my husband side of the family the most.

 

[crazelion]

no

 

[smkiya]

Depends on which of the extended family I'm with.

Agreed. My family is laid back. We play puzzle games, pictionary, guesstures, cards, etc. They also do talent shows on Christmas (adults and kids) we always have a blast, and don't forget Karyoke! There is no need for small talk, and everyone comes and goes as they please. The food is amazing!!!!My mom is one of 8 kids who are all very close and all of the cousins are like siblings, my cousins have pot luck every other Sunday at someone's house. It's usually at my aunt C's whose house is huge, and there's always a ton of people (because outsiders always want in ).

Dh's family is boring. Small talk is rampant. Food is bland. There is nothing to do, but sit, talk, and eat. I like when his cousin plays the piano and we all sing carols, but otherwise... BORING!

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

It depends on which "family" lol...I hated dealing with my ex's family since it was so awkward when we were married due to all the infighting going on, as a kid I adored get togethers at my grandparents, but when I grew up I hated going to my mother's since she is not a nice person. Now we go to DF's family's house which I love, love, love. Such nice people and a blast to hang out with.

 

[Lachesis00]

I did but then my Grandma and Mom died last year, my sister moved to Montana, my Dad lives in Alaska, we're in Arizona... sooooooo we're just trying to make up new traditions with out immediate family.

I never minded MIL's, she was always ok, until we got to the car and dh let me in on her newest "I don't like her or her family because...." (none valid reasons, we're just from 2 different sides of the track and his mom didn't like it).

 

[nutterbutter2010]

We don't have a lot of family around here (that we talk to). Its just my family of 4, my parents, my sisters family of 4, my inlaws, and my sil and her soon to be DH. I'll take..... alone.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Yes! DH and I both have small families. Until I was married and moved away, every Thanksgiving was spent at my Grandmother's and it was also my birthday celebration. I have only been able to get back to Grandma's a few times since getting married and having kids. I really miss going and if I had my choice this is what I would do every year. But because of distance and finances it is just not possible. It is too far to drive and we would have to rent a car and get a hotel room in addition to the plane tix so it is just not really doable, and traveling over the holiday is so expensive and a pain in the rear.

So we spend T-day most of the time with DH's family at their house-- just his mom and dad. They are wonderful cooks and all I have to do is help put the leftovers away. I used to help with dishes but my 14 year old has taken that over. I get to relax and we enjoy each other's company and lots of great food.

We have done Thanksgiving and Christmas with just DH the kids and I, but I really prefer to have other family around. We don't have Christmas at our house much--we usually go to my inlaws but the kids are fine with it and will remember spending Christmas with their grandparents every year.

 

[pigletgirl]

Yes! This year was an awkward year though. It felt strange having just my immediate family at thanksgiving...

Tomorrow though, I'm headed to my dbf's house for another thanksgiving meal. yum yum!

 

[C.Ann]

Since I live with my DD and her family now, I don't participate in "extended" family gatherings anymore.. My DH passed away in 2005 and I really don't have much "extended" family around anymore.. Either they have passed away or moved to Florida and such..

This Thanksgiving I was still here at the lake - but if I were back at DD's, I would not have gone to her IL's with them.. There are a number of reasons, but the most important one is so the IL's can have "just" DD, her DH (their only child), and DGD (their only grandchild) all to themselves for the day.. I'm with them "every" day, so staying at home is no big deal to me..

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, the IL's come over to DD's - no other extended family..

Works out well and there's really no drama with so few people around - LOL..

 

[paintnolish]

I love it, especially when I am hosting. Yes, it is a lot of work, but I love entertaining! I love the holidays and being with family. I do, however, really only enjoy going to a few houses (my sister's, my mom's, etc.)- places I know have good food!

 

[acename]

I said sometimes. It depends on which side we're talking about. My side of the family is small. My parents, dh, dd, sister, bil dniece, d nephew and me.

Dh's family on the other hand is huge and getting bigger all the time. he has 4 siblings and now everyone is getting married and having children too. Plus I'm not a big fan of his father. He's not the nicest guy to be around. I love his family for the most part, it's just overwhelming, loud and exhaustingn when everyone is all together. Fortunately for me, they live about 7 hours away and we can't always get there since my dh usually has to work around all the holidays. Unless they visit us we usually spend most of the time with my family.

 

[FireDancer]

We always celebrate the big 3 (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving) with all the cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We are only still in contact with my mom's side of the family but they are Italian so you know how large those can be.

We also have some traditions among a group of our friends. In October we do a Thanksgiving in October where we all get together and make our own early Thanksgiving. It is complete with a turkey and all the fixings. Late on Christmas day one of our friend's parents that is very close with out group has everyone over for dessert. There have been days that this has had almost 100 people.

Groups I belong to also have holiday parties throughout December that are a lot of fun. I love all of the holiday gatherings and am blessed with family and friends that don't let drama ruin the days for anyone.

 

[Lovely2CU]

We only celebrate Easter and Christmas in our family.

 

[Mermaid02]

On my dh's side, yes I love extended family holidays.


On my side, not so much. I have one cousin that I absolutely detest. Guess who sat across from me for Thanksgiving dinner? He's such a jerk. Two years ago he grabbed my son (10) by the ankles and yanked him to the floor because my son "kicked" him when he (40) walked by. My cousin had made some nasty, sarcastic, derogatory remark toward my child.... that's what my cousin does- he did it to me yesterday. I wanted to kick him.

I was there for Thanksgiving Thursday and that was my last visit there for a while, I've done my time thank you very much.

BTW- When we sat down to eat the day of the "yanking" my son apologized FIRST and without prompting from me. My idiot cousin just said, "Yeah, I'm sorry too."