Do parents owe their kids a wedding?

[GeorgeG]

Parents do not owe their children weddings, especially if they are lavish and expensive. If they want, and can afford it, there is nothing wrong with giving a daughter a dream wedding, but I do not think it's something anyone should go into debt over. Weddings have gotten way out hand. As a previous poster noted, they often don't stay married long. Weddings should be much simpler and low-keyed according to what the young couple or parents can afford, especially with the economy the way it is.

 

[Disney Doll]

My parents said "We have X amoint saved for your wedding. If you use all of it on the wedding, that's fine. If you don't use all of it on the wedding, whatever is left over we will give you".

Let me tell you...great incentive to keep a wedding's costs under control...you realize quite quickly that the $3000 ice sculture champagne fountain is SO not a necessity in your life!

 

[castleview]

No. Plus, weddings get crazy when parents pay. My parents paid for our reception and drove me nuts with their guest lists and many other things. Fortunately, I'm pretty laid back and am not a control freak whose wedding was my only day to be a star. But I couldn't do much about some of their requests since they were paying.

Fast forward seven years, my sister gets married and insists on paying it all herself. My parents again drove me nuts because they couldn't tell her what to do. I happily defended my sister and let her do what she wanted. I didn't dislike my wedding, but I liked my sister's a little more.

My grandfather gave my mom the best option. He told her will give this much for a wedding or here's a check for this much $$$$ if you elope.

 

[castleview]

I am paying for college-- not sure what we are doing about a wedding yet but I sure hope its not until well after college- I would hate her to get married young! I am sure I will kick in at least 10,000 towards a wedding if she wants. My friend offered her daughter 10,000 towards the wedding or a down payment on a house...daughter ended up with just a courthouse type wedding and small dinner party afterward and used the 10,000 towards a house which I think is a responsible choice!!

 

[amyy]

I don't think they owe their kids a wedding. If they (either bride or groom's parents) can afford it that is wonderful. We had a Disney wedding this summer and it was magical. I will remember the day for the rest of my life. We smile whenever we look at the pictures-Mickey and Minnie, lunch at the Napa room, Rolls Royce, Epcot dessert party etc. All being said if my mom hadn't helped we wouldn't have gone into debit to do it.

 

[dislaney]

I was given X amount of money for the wedding. It would easily pay for a very nice wedding or a down payment for a house. How I used the money was up to me. I intend to give my children the same deal. My parents did this for all of us boys and girls -equal amount of money.

I don't think that this is owed to anyone though.

 

[Happy Mom2]

I will do the same thing my parents did for me... Here is $____. You can use it to pay for your wedding, go on your honeymoon, elope, or start your life together.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No.

Thank God I have boys, because I think big, extravagant, costly weddings are a waste of money.

I had a window guy here last year who was complaining about how he spent $75,000 on his daughter's wedding and she was divorced within 2 years.

$75,000?!!!!!

I feel like "Doc Brown" from "Back to the Future". 1.21 Gigawatts!!!

 

[Jennasis]

No. Not even a little bit.

 

[Angelhalo]

Same answer as the college thread. My parents felt they owed it to me.

However they didn't go into debt to do it. It was $7,000 and to this day people tell us it was the most beautiful and most fun wedding they have ever been too. DH's dad and his wife paid for an open bar.

It doesn't have to cost a fortune to be a great wedding!

 

[DawnM]

No. I don't mind helping with what we might have available, but I don't believe in extravagant weddings. Marriages are far more important than weddings and I would prefer to pay for college to equip them to support that marriage.

Dawn

 

[We_Love_Disney]

One morning on the radio there was a question posed to the audience. Seems a father offered his daughter either her "dream wedding" or $25,000, and the DJ's wanted input. My first thought was, wow, some people have a lot of disposable income! hehe I listened for the distance to home, so only a few calls were heard. Most of the married/older callers said take the money. The unmarried/younger callers wanted the dream wedding. What I took from that was in time our priorities change and when all is said and done, the wedding is only one day.

I think parents owe their children the basic necessities - food, shelter, etc and lots and lots of love and guidance.

 

[ursulaforever]

In my opinion- I'm only in my early teens- my mother has looked afer me and loved me all my life. Why does she owe me a wedding as well?

 

[bigbabyblues]

My grandparents (they raised me) bought my wedding dress. DH & I paid for most of the rest, the IL's picked up the reception.

 

[Colleen27]

No way. We'll help however we can, but unlike college there's no lifelong benefit to a flashy wedding so it isn't something we're saving for or willing to go into/encourage our child to go into debt for.

 

[superme80]

Not owed at all. My parents paid for the majority of my wedding, but that is because they promised to. The whole thing was less than $5000. The most expensive part was the buffet. My dress with alterations was less than $400.

 

[kidzmom3]

If all you were really paying for was he wedding, then it wouldn't be that much money. The church, the priest some flowers. Its the reception that costs the big bucks!!!

 

[golfgal]

I had a boss once who called her Dad and yelled at him because he wouldn't give her any money for her wedding. She and her now Dh both had very well paying jobs, owned a home together-a very nice house, completely furnished--traveled somewhere for at least 4 days every month, etc. This after story after story about her Dad and Stepmom were struggling financially .

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I think, if the parents can easily afford it, they should pay, or at least help out. But if it's a struggle, then absolutely not. I would be ashamed of myself as a child to expect something like that from a parent.

This goes for any big expense such as a down payment on the child's first house, college or a car.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I am not paying one dime unless I like the guy, and if it's after she graduates from college! No, I will help, but I am not paying 100% of the wedding unless I will the lottery.