Do other parents really complain?

[cheer25mom]

I agree with both of these. 100% cheerleaders should follow dress code, and 100% why can't they add pieces / sleeves/ slightly longer/ shorts pants under it.

We have school uniforms, but allow several exceptions: sports teams on game day, club shirts on club meeting day, ect. I don't see allowing a cheer uniform as any different. Our girls wear their full length warm up bottoms with them. It is no different than volleyball, softball, and basketball. They all have sleeveless jerseys, but I don't see anyone complaining abou them wearing those. None of it meets the uniform policy, but cheerleaders are the only ones anybody ever complains about.

 

[cheer25mom]

I guess we were just more mature. We knew that cheerleaders got to where things out of the dress code, it was part of being a cheerleader. I was ok with some special treatment. Kids these days aren't that is the problem.

Oh and what HS team has bear shoulders, none around here do

Oh the whole world is uneven. I suggest they get used to it.

I think this hits the nail on the head. All the emphasis on making everything "fair" for everyone has gotten out of control. Lots of youth league sports don't even keep score anymore because someone might get upset if they lose. Life is inherently unfair and there are in fact winners and losers. Not everyone makes the team. Kids are not taught how to deal with it anymore because everyone around them is too busy trying to "fix it" for them. When we were kids, we tried out for sports and not everyone made the little league team. We kept score, and losing stinks so we tried to do better next time. Now, everyone wins and no one learns to lose geacefully and use that as motivation to try harder.

 

[luvsJack]

Honey, I'll bet it was the mother of a kid who wouldn't be caught dead being a cheerleader.

Then why on earth would she care?

See that is the problem. Lol, the sort of mom that says "others are mean because they are jealous." If you don't like Greek clubs, you must not have been asked, etc.

I have boys that were/are homeschooled. I believe however that if you are a part of the school you choose to follow the rules. Rules say limited skin (and I agree boys are going to be interested regardless) then the rule stands for all. It is a reasonable expectation.

Our highschool had no dress code, '81 and has a code now. But I also went to a college with rampant underage drinking, and girls going in and out the house windows now we'd suspend them or put them on probation.

Its not like someone being mean because they are jealous doesn't happen.

I don't have an issue following the rules. And dd follows the dress code every day that they don't let her out of it. But, here's the thing, the school has to approve those uniforms. So they should be considered good for game day just like dd's jeans and t-shirt will be good for tomorrow. Or her choir t-shirt will be good the day before choir competition.

If I had to bring clothes for my daughter because she didn't fit the dress code, I'd be angry with her and annoyed that I didn't notice before I left the house. I wouldn't blame a cheerleader for my daughter not fitting the dress code. Likewise, I wouldn't complain to the school if my daughter failed a test that the cheerleaders and football players didn't take until the following Monday because they were on a bus to a game. I'm of the belief that my daughter is responsible for herself and doesn't need to worry about what other people are doing.

Exactly.

"She's just jealous" is the most frustrating thing someone can say in a discussion or argument. You can't respond to it without sounding defensive. It's such a petty, demeaning argument. Very childish.

But cheerleader envy "must be a regional thing," as they love to say on the Dis. My friends who have girls all tell their daughters that they can join cheerleading when *boys* start cheering for the *girls'* teams.

Cheer starts here at a young age. Even the girls that don't cheer on competitive squads start cheering for football games in second grade (boys playing football in fourth). By 7th grade, some move forward with it, some don't make the squad and some lose interest. DD lost interest by 5th grade,went back to dance and then to choir.

Its RARELY the girl that has any jealousy of the cheerleaders, usually the mom that just can't believe her child didn't make the squad.

We never had a smoking area. ARe you really comparing something that is very bad for you to the wearing of a sports uniform on a game day? The two are totally unrelated. One is a nasty habit and the other is something that the girls will be sporting on game night. OH and I know a lot of schools, if your uniform isnt' exactly as it should be, you are in major trouble. Such a double standard. You wear it to a school function and shake your butt in front of the fans but don't dear wear it to school the day of the game. BIZAAR.

That is exactly why if my dd was one of the cheerleaders in the article, I would be upset too. The school says the uniform is just fine to cheer in at a game but "vulgar" for the school day. Really?


I asked dd tonight if any of the non-cheerleaders had an issue with the girls wearing their uniforms. You would have thought I had grown two extra heads! "why would we? that's part of being a cheerleader" was her answer.

Like I said, each sport or activity here gets to wear something that is not in dress code on the day of their event/game/whatever. These girls work hard and give up a lot to be the cheer squad that they are, they should be able to wear their uniform just like any body else in the school.

Tomorrow is our first game and the cheerleaders will shine just as bright as the guys on the field. Cheer isn't just about cheering for football anymore.

 

[Janepod]

Lol, it is up there with "DENIAL!" if you deny something it can't actually be true...

And "defensive." "You're so defensive" -- really, how is someone supposed to respond to that?

 

[Colleen27]

We have school uniforms, but allow several exceptions: sports teams on game day, club shirts on club meeting day, ect. I don't see allowing a cheer uniform as any different. Our girls wear their full length warm up bottoms with them. It is no different than volleyball, softball, and basketball. They all have sleeveless jerseys, but I don't see anyone complaining abou them wearing those. None of it meets the uniform policy, but cheerleaders are the only ones anybody ever complains about.

I think that's a different situation than the cheer team being the only ones allowed to disregard dress code. Here, we don't have uniforms and have only a fairly basic dress code at the high school level. Short skirts/shorts make up the vast majority of dress code violations. Basketball players wear their jerseys but have to have a shirt underneath because the tank top style doesn't meet dress code. Volleyball players wear their tops but can't wear their shorts because they're too short to satisfy the dress code. And like your team, the cheerleaders wear their warm-ups because the skirt isn't school-appropriate. It would be absurd to decide that cheer uniforms should be exempt from the dress code when no other sport is, and that's how I read the news story in the OP - the cheerleaders and their moms are upset that they're losing their special status as the only ones allowed to wear micro skirts to class.

 

[Buckalew11]

Honey, I'll bet it was the mother of a kid who wouldn't be caught dead being a cheerleader.

I'm not the poster you quoted, but I will answer for me. Personally, if they want to wear their swimming suit or leotard on days when they have a meet, I don't really have a problem with it. I think that they will be cold and I would hate dealing with a bathing suit when I needed to go to the bathroom, but I feel like they have earned certain privileges and one of those is wearing a uniform on game or meet days.

It also might be pertinent to point out that a cheerleading uniform does cover more than the uniform for swimmers or wrestlers.

Seriously? You would have trouble with a boy or girl going into the classroom in a bathing suit?

It really isn't about jealousy or fairness or maturity. It is about what is appropriate. A short cheer skirt is not appropriate to wear into the classroom. My tennis skirt was not appropriate to wear into the classroom. I looked darned cute in it but it was inappropriate for class--or anywhere, really, besides the tennis court.

Wear the jersey--but don't wear the uniform pants, wear the tennis top, but not the skirt, wear the cheer top, but not the skirt.

"She's just jealous" is the most frustrating thing someone can say in a discussion or argument. You can't respond to it without sounding defensive. It's such a petty, demeaning argument. Very childish.

But cheerleader envy "must be a regional thing," as they love to say on the Dis. My friends who have girls all tell their daughters that they can join cheerleading when *boys* start cheering for the *girls'* teams.

I jokingly say I had a prenatal agreement that DD would not be a cheerleader. Deep down, I was serious. I did not put her in gymnastics or dance because around here, if you do those things, they'll seek you out to cheer.
There's no cheerleader envy about it (why would there be? ) I would rather see my kid play soccer, basketball, football, rugby, tennis, golf...you name it. I'm sure the gods will bless me with some cute little grandkid who wants to cheer.

We have school uniforms, but allow several exceptions: sports teams on game day, club shirts on club meeting day, ect. I don't see allowing a cheer uniform as any different. Our girls wear their full length warm up bottoms with them. It is no different than volleyball, softball, and basketball. They all have sleeveless jerseys, but I don't see anyone complaining abou them wearing those. None of it meets the uniform policy, but cheerleaders are the only ones anybody ever complains about.

This sounds good to me. In the classroom, a different bottom should be worn. It's really about what is appropriate.

 

[luvsJack]

Seriously? You would have trouble with a boy or girl going into the classroom in a bathing suit?

It really isn't about jealousy or fairness or maturity. It is about what is appropriate. A short cheer skirt is not appropriate to wear into the classroom. My tennis skirt was not appropriate to wear into the classroom. I looked darned cute in it but it was inappropriate for class--or anywhere, really, besides the tennis court.

Wear the jersey--but don't wear the uniform pants, wear the tennis top, but not the skirt, wear the cheer top, but not the skirt.



I jokingly say I had a prenatal agreement that DD would not be a cheerleader. Deep down, I was serious. I did not put her in gymnastics or dance because around here, if you do those things, they'll seek you out to cheer.
There's no cheerleader envy about it (why would there be? ) I would rather see my kid play soccer, basketball, football, rugby, tennis, golf...you name it. I'm sure the gods will bless me with some cute little grandkid who wants to cheer.



This sounds good to me. In the classroom, a different bottom should be worn. It's really about what is appropriate.

Why did you not want your dd to cheer? If she had WANTED to dance or take gym, would you have not let her?

Its no different than anything else. I don't get the hate for cheering.

 

[Colleen27]

Why did you not want your dd to cheer? If she had WANTED to dance or take gym, would you have not let her?

Its no different than anything else. I don't get the hate for cheering.

I don't see it as "no different": from participating in sports. I can only speak for the teams I've been exposed to, of course, but both the youth and school programs in my community aren't what I would call a sport. It isn't the gymnastic, acrobatic cheer you see in competition; it is standing on the sidelines cheering for the boys (either basketball or football). And that's just not something I support/encourage for my girls - I want them out there on the field/court, learning about teamwork and being physically active and developing the self-confidence that comes from mastering skills, not standing on the sidelines looking cute and shaking it for the crowds.

I don't feel as strongly about dance or gymnastics, FWIW. I didn't go out of my way to encourage either, but when older DD asked to join dance I did sign her up (she did two years of ballet, jazz, and tap before deciding it was getting in the way of other activities) and now that younger DD is asking about gymnastics I'm working on finding a class that will fit our schedule. I don't love either sport because of the huge emphasis on body type/weight for girls who want to stick with it beyond early childhood, but I don't actively forbid or discourage them.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

From the mom of a cheerleader, it is definitely cheerleader envy, at least in our area. We have elementary school squads and it starts there. DD got mean things said to her last year like "you think you are better than us" or " it's not fair that you get to wear that" by girls who were not on the squad but not a word to the football players who got to wear their jerseys instead of a uniform shirt. It is worse in the high school I teach at, and usually comes from the moms of the girls who got cut. One mom said they shouldn't be allowed to wear unis at school because it made her daughter upset about not making the squad!

I know. The cheerleaders were not snobby, the dance team was. Both elicited an "envy" response. The dance team also got the "mean girls" response. I think I can tell the difference.

And it definitely starts with the coach. Apparently the dance team coach thrives on the drama. Younger dd was much happier after she stopped dancing with the team. Older dd loved her coach, who would not tolerate attitude, and that's how dd coaches her team now.

 

[Buckalew11]

Why did you not want your dd to cheer? If she had WANTED to dance or take gym, would you have not let her?

Its no different than anything else. I don't get the hate for cheering.

I don't see it as "no different": from participating in sports. I can only speak for the teams I've been exposed to, of course, but both the youth and school programs in my community aren't what I would call a sport. It isn't the gymnastic, acrobatic cheer you see in competition; it is standing on the sidelines cheering for the boys (either basketball or football). And that's just not something I support/encourage for my girls - I want them out there on the field/court, learning about teamwork and being physically active and developing the self-confidence that comes from mastering skills, not standing on the sidelines looking cute and shaking it for the crowds.

I don't feel as strongly about dance or gymnastics, FWIW. I didn't go out of my way to encourage either, but when older DD asked to join dance I did sign her up (she did two years of ballet, jazz, and tap before deciding it was getting in the way of other activities) and now that younger DD is asking about gymnastics I'm working on finding a class that will fit our schedule. I don't love either sport because of the huge emphasis on body type/weight for girls who want to stick with it beyond early childhood, but I don't actively forbid or discourage them.

It isn't "hate for cheering." But it is about how I've raised my daughter. I have very strong thoughts on this kind of thing. We never got into the Princess stuff at WDW either. It is fine for the people who do it--I'm just not raising "a princess."

My niece was a cheerleader last year in college. She had never cheered before but she was a gymnast since she was 3. This year, she's on the tumbling team at her college. She loves all that stuff which is great for her and I support her choice.

 

[sam_gordon]

For those who are "pro uniform".

Take the uniform aspect out for a moment. Are "micro minis" appropriate for girls to wear during the school day? Why or why not?

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I know I am in late on this one. It has been several years but I have seen a school where they did not allow the cheerleaders to wear their uniforms on game days. The uniforms violated the school dress code. A lot of girls and parents were pretty mad about it. I thought it was kind of strange... the uniforms were OK to be in front of a a crowd AND other schools, but inappropriate to wear AT school? Of course the boys were always allowed to wear their football jerseys. The principal never would back down on the policy however.

 

[mhsjax]

For those who are "pro uniform".

Take the uniform aspect out for a moment. Are "micro minis" appropriate for girls to wear during the school day? Why or why not?

I am pro uniform. For me, I can't take the uniform out of it, that is the only reason they should be allowed to wear it. Sorry but it was they way things were done when I was in school and no one had a problem with it.

If they are so bad, then I guess they shouldn't be allowed at school sanctioned events. Shoot, lets put their skirts back down to their knees. But that doesn't work very well for back handsprings or back tucks, which the girls at our high school do. Not to mention for stunting at competitions. I think these uniforms have been brought on, somewhat for safety. Hard to do these things with a loose. long skirt flopping around.

 

[sam_gordon]

I am pro uniform. For me, I can't take the uniform out of it, that is the only reason they should be allowed to wear it. Sorry but it was they way things were done when I was in school and no one had a problem with it.

So since short skirts aren't a problem, everyone should be allowed to wear them. Got it!

If they are so bad, then I guess they shouldn't be allowed at school sanctioned events. Shoot, lets put their skirts back down to their knees. But that doesn't work very well for back handsprings or back tucks, which the girls at our high school do. Not to mention for stunting at competitions. I think these uniforms have been brought on, somewhat for safety. Hard to do these things with a loose. long skirt flopping around.

Didn't know the girls were doing back handsprings and back tucks between classes. THAT'S why they need to wear the micro minis during class. Why didn't you say so?

 

[Granny square]

I am pro uniform. For me, I can't take the uniform out of it, that is the only reason they should be allowed to wear it. Sorry but it was they way things were done when I was in school and no one had a problem with it.

If they are so bad, then I guess they shouldn't be allowed at school sanctioned events. Shoot, lets put their skirts back down to their knees. But that doesn't work very well for back handsprings or back tucks, which the girls at our high school do. Not to mention for stunting at competitions. I think these uniforms have been brought on, somewhat for safety. Hard to do these things with a loose. long skirt flopping around.

Eh life changes. Lots of things were different when I was in school. There are a crapload more rules now! Having different standards between class time and play time doesn't seem unreasonable either. Not unlike office attire and office cookout attire.



If you choose to attend, you choose to follow the rules.

 

[mhsjax]

So since short skirts aren't a problem, everyone should be allowed to wear them. Got it!


Didn't know the girls were doing back handsprings and back tucks between classes. THAT'S why they need to wear the micro minis during class. Why didn't you say so?

Ok, so you totally took what I said and went sarcastic with it. gotta love the Dis.

I said that I couldn't take the uniform out of it, but I still fell that cheerleaders should be allowed to wear them, they always did around here and no one had a problem with it, not until some uptight people got into the school system.

The other paragraph was addressing the fact that if they are so offensive and against school dress code, when why are they allowed at school sanctioned events and not in school. Now, I never said they did these things in class did I. NOPE, I was talking in that paragraph about events and competition and maybe that is why they are so short, but you go ahead with your cheerleader hate. I love it.

Oh, and mine isn't a school cheerleader but an AllStar cheerleader, so I don't have a dog in this fight, I am just not a jealous bitter person.

 

[mhsjax]

Eh life changes. Lots of things were different when I was in school. There are a crapload more rules now! Having different standards between class time and play time doesn't seem unreasonable either. Not unlike office attire and office cookout attire.



If you choose to attend, you choose to follow the rules.

Ok then why do the kids have to follow dress code during a field trip, even one after hours such as Grad night? you choose to go to that.

 

[Granny square]

Ok then why do the kids have to follow dress code during a field trip, even one after hours such as Grad night? you choose to go to that.

Because those are the rules for that activity. No big deal. As I said different standards for different situations.

Lol, no dog in the fight here. Older boys who like girls in short skirts, lol.

 

[mhsjax]

Because those are the rules for that activity. No big deal. As I said different standards for different situations.

Lol, no dog in the fight here. Older boys who like girls in short skirts, lol.

Well I see it as same situation and different rules. We can agree to disagree.

FWIW, My 2 sons are around so many cheerleaders because of my DD all Star, they don't think anything of those short skirts. They really aren't that flattering, they are mostly functional. Hard to do some of the stuff they do in longer loose skirts.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

That *is* interesting. I've never seen co-ed high school cheerleading (except in "Bring It On.") But it has just never been a popular activity where I've lived. At my high school, cheerleading was eliminated because there wasn't enough interest. Fencing? sure. Varsity, JV and Freshman ice hockey teams? You bet (and my school had two rinks.) Cheerleading? no interest whatsoever.

I graduated in the 80s and we had several boys as cheerleaders.

Both my daughters wanted to do fencing! However, they didn't offer fencing anywhere in the county for them. They were heartbroken.

The cheerleader earned her uniform. The honor society member earned that special tassle for his cap and gown at graduation. The first violin in tge orchestra earned that distiction. They should all be recognized. You can't make it "equal" for everyone.

I agree you can't make everything equal; however, dress code is one of the things that you can and should make equal.

Really?

Let's see in 1969, my sister could not wear pants to school (exact same school dd attends now), her bangs could not touch the bottom of her eyebrows and her skirts could had to touch the top of her knee. Oh, and they would line the girls up for a "skirt" check every morning. AND the cheerleaders wore their uniforms on game day which were above the knee.

In the 80s we could wear sundresses, mini skirts, tank tops, shorts at least 4 inches from the knee.

Now, the dress code is extremely stricter, and it's more difficult to find clothes to go with the dress code (for girls).

For example, you can't wear a tank top under a shirt, shorts have to be 2 inches from the knee, close toe shoes at all times, no colored hair, ears pierced only, .......

Obviously the ones that want to make a stink about such stuff are.

Its not about being special because one is cheerleader or a football player or on the chess team or a choir member. Its about being proud of what they do and the school they attend. Its about being an active member of their student body. And its about everyone needing to relax a little and quit being so uptight about everything.

Cheerleaders have been wearing these "oh so horrible" uniforms since the beginning to time. Why is it such an issue NOW? Sounds to me like the "special snowflake" isn't the cheerleader.

I am not a person that is jealous of cheerleader, I'm laughing at that one. I never wanted to be one, never tried out for one and would never allow my daughters to be one. I'm thankful that they enjoy volleyball, soccer and track. My girls are not allowed to wear their uniforms on game days because it doesn't fit dress code policy. So the cheerleaders should not be allowed to, but they can.

I would almost bet my last dime that the complainer is the mother of the girl that didn't make the squad.

Again, its a uniform for the squad and there is nothing wrong with wearing it.

Then they need to change dress code. I actually hope they change it so it will be easier to find clothes for school

Here's the problem. It's pretty simple.

I'm a parent. I would prefer that there was no dress code beyond safety issues, like no dangling chains. I think there is a huge amount of sexism around dress codes, but that's another debate entirely.

But, if the school has a consistent dress code, I am willing to do battle with my teenaged daughters to enforce it. The school's reasons for the dress code are that school is their place of business and the kids should be sufficiently covered up so as not to be distracting. I have used the stated reasons with my kids repeatedly.

When the school administration says that is peachy for one particular group of girls to wear cheerleading uniforms that are far more revealing than the dress code allows, that absolutely guts the argument that they have asked me to make to my kid. That's gaslighting.

Honey, I'll bet it was the mother of a kid who wouldn't be caught dead being a cheerleader.

That is so me!

From the mom of a cheerleader, it is definitely cheerleader envy, at least in our area. We have elementary school squads and it starts there. DD got mean things said to her last year like "you think you are better than us" or " it's not fair that you get to wear that" by girls who were not on the squad but not a word to the football players who got to wear their jerseys instead of a uniform shirt. It is worse in the high school I teach at, and usually comes from the moms of the girls who got cut. One mom said they shouldn't be allowed to wear unis at school because it made her daughter upset about not making the squad!

How do you know its cheer envy? Did you ask them?

I think this hits the nail on the head. All the emphasis on making everything "fair" for everyone has gotten out of control. Lots of youth league sports don't even keep score anymore because someone might get upset if they lose. Life is inherently unfair and there are in fact winners and losers. Not everyone makes the team. Kids are not taught how to deal with it anymore because everyone around them is too busy trying to "fix it" for them. When we were kids, we tried out for sports and not everyone made the little league team. We kept score, and losing stinks so we tried to do better next time. Now, everyone wins and no one learns to lose geacefully and use that as motivation to try harder.

I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair; however, dress code is something that can be fair and should be enforced in a fair manner. You can't have one group of kids allowed to wear something and not allow another group or individual. For example, you wouldn't allow one teacher to go against dress policy just because she did something special that week, but the others have to follow the policy. That would start all kinds of problems.

Keeping score, making the team, going to college, making money, getting a job ...... can't be fair, and you truly can't compare these things to dress code.