Do other parents really complain?

[Lorelei Lee]

Lets put some perspective on scenario #1 - would there be several in the group all dressed alike? Would the outfits be in the school colors with the school logo's or mascots or whatever else it is that is on cheer outfits? Would all undergarments ie panties, bra straps etc. be tucked in, hidden from view? Would they all match from their hair accessories down to their shoes?

Now for scenario #2 - Would the entire orchestra be in white tanks with short black skirts? Would there be a uniform so that all the tops and bottoms are the same? Would all undergarments be tucked in or covered? Would the outfits be something that were supplied by or a required purchase by the group?

Cheerleaders don't open up their closets and pick a skank outfit that is unique to them - they put on a uniform that was either supplied by the school or purchased by their parents and is identical for every girl in the group. They are not swimmers or divers or gymnast (who yes, I understand also represent the school and their sport)
I view a cheerleader as a different job. Its a team sport but they represent the student body, they might compete etc. but their "job" or activity is school spirit related. That is just how I look at it.

My DD's school has a dress code, I actually have no idea what the game day traditions are, she is a freshman and this is a new district to us. I can say, I would have no issue if they wore their game night uniforms to school. I personally think that is part of the role that they play and think those that have a dress code issue just need to get over themselves.

Our kids are not equal, life is not equal and one of the reasons I believe we see these kinds of headlines is because people cannot accept that life is not equal and move on.

It's not about a special snowflake (said with the snowflake sneer) its about the fact that not every single kid in every single school has to be treated equally and the same. Where did we come up with that whole concept anyway? What is wrong with being a standout? What is wrong with having a special privilege?

The cheerleader earned her uniform. The honor society member earned that special tassle for his cap and gown at graduation. The first violin in tge orchestra earned that distiction. They should all be recognized. You can't make it "equal" for everyone.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Honey, I'll bet it was the mother of a kid who wouldn't be caught dead being a cheerleader.

In my experience, I'd say you were probably wrong. My younger daughter was on dance team for two years, tgey did have snobby attitudes, and most of the resentment came from girls who were jealous.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

That *is* interesting. I've never seen co-ed high school cheerleading (except in "Bring It On.") But it has just never been a popular activity where I've lived. At my high school, cheerleading was eliminated because there wasn't enough interest. Fencing? sure. Varsity, JV and Freshman ice hockey teams? You bet (and my school had two rinks.) Cheerleading? no interest whatsoever.

We were a competitive squad and the guys really helped with our stunting. Cheerleading was also pretty big at my school. We would have over 30 girls trying out for a spot on the squad. I guess it's just how things are different for different areas of the country. I didn't know a single person who fenced. Actually, most of my friends probably thought it had something to do with Tom Sawyer and we didn't have hockey, either.

 

[scheddj]

Here's the problem. It's pretty simple.

I'm a parent. I would prefer that there was no dress code beyond safety issues, like no dangling chains. I think there is a huge amount of sexism around dress codes, but that's another debate entirely.

But, if the school has a consistent dress code, I am willing to do battle with my teenaged daughters to enforce it. The school's reasons for the dress code are that school is their place of business and the kids should be sufficiently covered up so as not to be distracting. I have used the stated reasons with my kids repeatedly.

When the school administration says that is peachy for one particular group of girls to wear cheerleading uniforms that are far more revealing than the dress code allows, that absolutely guts the argument that they have asked me to make to my kid. That's gaslighting.

Agreed!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, very much agreed!
Exactly....

The cheerleaders can wear some kind of top or t-shirt, THAT MEETS THE DRESS CODE THAT ALL OTHER KIDS ARE EXPECTED TO FOLLOW, while at school. They can participate, and be 'acknowledged' (like that word doesn't just SMACK of narcissism and snow-flake) in many other appropriate ways. I don't think anybody is saying that they should be censored or not allowed to show who they are ( in APPROPRIATE ways ).

It is not about being equal. Not at all... IMHO it has absolutely NOTHING to do with equality or jealosy.
It is about what is appropriate.

I really don't see how anyone can justify special treatment.
Sure, one may start to throw around the words 'equal' and 'fair'.
But, you know what... when it comes to official enforcement of basic code/law, yes, just maybe, fairness and equality do mean something.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, especially after seeing that video of the cheerleader and her 'cheer-mom', who the snowflakes are.

 

[Colleen27]

Here's the problem. It's pretty simple.

I'm a parent. I would prefer that there was no dress code beyond safety issues, like no dangling chains. I think there is a huge amount of sexism around dress codes, but that's another debate entirely.

But, if the school has a consistent dress code, I am willing to do battle with my teenaged daughters to enforce it. The school's reasons for the dress code are that school is their place of business and the kids should be sufficiently covered up so as not to be distracting. I have used the stated reasons with my kids repeatedly.

When the school administration says that is peachy for one particular group of girls to wear cheerleading uniforms that are far more revealing than the dress code allows, that absolutely guts the argument that they have asked me to make to my kid. That's gaslighting.

That's my feeling on it too. A different issue, but related - junior cheerleaders were allowed colored feathers and streaks in their hair during the season, while I was doing battle with my own daughter over the schools' "no unnatural colors" rule (after being called to the office to remove her feather, which she and I both thought would fall under the hair clips/bows rule, not the hair color rules). This was at the elem level, so no cuts - my DD could have been on the team if she wasn't more interested in playing a sport than standing on the sidelines cheering for one. But because we didn't sign her up for that particular activity, she was subject to the dress code in a way that members of the team were not. I don't personally believe that is fair, nor do I think it sends a good message to the kids... It tells them that if you're part of the right group or clique the rules don't apply to you the way they do for other students.

Honestly, I was thinking the same thing. At my high school, the only people who took offense at something the cheerleaders, dance team, or athletes did, wore, etc. were the people who didn't make the team. All the other kids didn't care what the athletes, dancers, and cheerleaders were doing or wearing.

Did anything actually say this was due to a parental complaint? Most of the rule changes pertaining to dress codes when I was in school had to do with changes in administration - what one principal felt was just fine was too racy according to her replacement. The only parents mentioned in the news article that was linked and in the couple others that were linked from there are the cheer parents complaining about their girls not being able to wear their skirts to school. I didn't see anything stating that the policy change came about because of parental complaints.

 

[Colleen27]

In my experience, I'd say you were probably wrong. My younger daughter was on dance team for two years, tgey did have snobby attitudes, and most of the resentment came from girls who were jealous.

Jealousy is, in my experience, often used as a way of explaining away the consequences of poor behaviour... like the resentment of other kids towards girls with "snobby", mean-girl attitudes.

 

[Granny square]

"She's just jealous" is the most frustrating thing someone can say in a discussion or argument. You can't respond to it without sounding defensive. It's such a petty, demeaning argument. Very childish.

But cheerleader envy "must be a regional thing," as they love to say on the Dis. My friends who have girls all tell their daughters that they can join cheerleading when *boys* start cheering for the *girls'* teams.

Lol, it is up there with "DENIAL!" if you deny something it can't actually be true...

Cheer leading is treated differently in different areas. Some go less for weird conformity than others. A couple of years ago we had a young lady with downs in the squad. Lol, and a friends son would challenge the rule. College town, lol

My kids all ran, and did crew. I'd never have survived the "team" sports.

 

[mhsjax]

Whether or not they've been doing it for years is irrelevant. We don't have smoking areas any longer, either.

We never had a smoking area. ARe you really comparing something that is very bad for you to the wearing of a sports uniform on a game day? The two are totally unrelated. One is a nasty habit and the other is something that the girls will be sporting on game night. OH and I know a lot of schools, if your uniform isnt' exactly as it should be, you are in major trouble. Such a double standard. You wear it to a school function and shake your butt in front of the fans but don't dear wear it to school the day of the game. BIZAAR.

 

[mhsjax]

Actually when I was in high school (graduated '84) the cheerleading uniforms looked NOTHING like they do now. They were maybe an inch or 2 above the knee, pleated, and they wore shirts with sweaters over them. The skirts now are barely an inch or two below their crotches and the shirts are sometimes bare midriff. HUGE difference.

It's all about the snowflake mentality of being "better than", and "more special than". FWIW, my daughter used to do competitive cheerleading and there is no group more self-centered and above it all than cheerleaders, her included. That's why I'm glad she doesn't do it anymore. Of course not all cheerleaders are like this, but most are. Even back in my day when they were more covered up. Oh and before you go there, I did cheerleading in grammar school and chose not to do in high school because of the attitude. And I was friendly with many of the cheerleaders, but once they put that uniform on, something changes.

Bare midriff us usally for all star, ( my dd does this) I have never encountered a school that allows this. Also I graduated in 1981, the skirts were not that much longer, certainly not 1-2 inches about the knee. And we weren't allowed to wear anything this short either, only cheerleaders on game day. We loved seeing the girls and the football players all decked out in school colors, plus they were dressed for our pep rallies

 

[Colleen27]

But cheerleader envy "must be a regional thing," as they love to say on the Dis. My friends who have girls all tell their daughters that they can join cheerleading when *boys* start cheering for the *girls'* teams.

There's not much cheer envy around here, but frankly the cheer team is nothing to envy. They aren't the competitive/gymnastic type of cheer that could actually be considered a sport. They just stand on the sidelines and shake their little pom-poms to fire up the crowd.

Football is huge here - almost 1/3 of the boys in the school participate at some level and we have three teams (varsity, JV, freshman) in a school of less than 600 kids. We also have a marching band with over a hundred members. But there's just one cheer squad because even with it open to all four grades there's only about a dozen girls that sign up for varsity cheer.

 

[RitaE]

Same way at my son's school. They had many more girls on the Basketball and Volleyball teams than the Cheerleading squad. I know that in the Jr High they let every girl who wants to join be a cheerleader and that gets huge some years .... like a Cheerleading squad of 30 to 40 girls and they have to take turns because there isn't enough room for all of them on the Basketball court sidelines. But by High School most of them seem to develop other interests.

I'm kind of laughing at the outrage of the indignity of the Cheerleaders having to buy a second shirt to wear to school on game days. Every other sport does that Coach Carter you will wear a suit with a tie or a skirt and blouse and show respect thing. The Cheerleaders and their school Cheer shirt got off easy.

Anyway, I just can't imagine trying to explain to Girl A why exactly her bare shoulders are disruptive to the educational process and can't be allowed in the classroom when there are 3 other sets of bare shoulders being displayed by Girls B, C and D right there. It is blatantly uneven and in my experience there is nothing in the world that a 15 year old will recognize as quick as the School adults acting inconsistently.

But as I've been told, maybe the kids around here just aren't mature enough. And they're all just jealous of the Cheerleaders.

 

[mhsjax]

Same way at my son's school. They had many more girls on the Basketball and Volleyball teams than the Cheerleading squad. I know that in the Jr High they let every girl who wants to join be a cheerleader and that gets huge some years .... like a Cheerleading squad of 30 to 40 girls and they have to take turns because there isn't enough room for all of them on the Basketball court sidelines. But by High School most of them seem to develop other interests.

I'm kind of laughing at the outrage of the indignity of the Cheerleaders having to buy a second shirt to wear to school on game days. Every other sport does that Coach Carter you will wear a suit with a tie or a skirt and blouse and show respect thing. The Cheerleaders and their school Cheer shirt got off easy.

Anyway, I just can't imagine trying to explain to Girl A why exactly her bare shoulders are disruptive to the educational process and can't be allowed in the classroom when there are 3 other sets of bare shoulders being displayed by Girls B, C and D right there. It is blatantly uneven and in my experience there is nothing in the world that a 15 year old will recognize as quick as the School adults acting inconsistently.

But as I've been told, maybe the kids around here just aren't mature enough. And they're all just jealous of the Cheerleaders.

I guess we were just more mature. We knew that cheerleaders got to where things out of the dress code, it was part of being a cheerleader. I was ok with some special treatment. Kids these days aren't that is the problem.

Oh and what HS team has bear shoulders, none around here do

Oh the whole world is uneven. I suggest they get used to it.

 

[kirstenb1]

The only rational answer I see is everyone needs to meet the dress code. I was an all regional field hockey player back in the mid 80's. We never wore our uniform to school. We changed out after school, before our games.

With all the air conditioning and stuff, I would have felt weird wearing my hockey skirt all day. OUr football players always dressed nicely on Fridays, a nice shirt and khaki pants. Dignified. Why can't cheerleaders also look like they take their sport in a dignified fashion? No need for a burkha, but perhaps a longer skirt, or leggings under the skirt? In the professional world, most of us try to dress in a way that allows us to look dignified. I think we do cheerleaders a disservice by encouraging them to look otherwise.

 

[Wishing on a star]

More Mature??????

ummmmm, WOW.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Jealousy is, in my experience, often used as a way of explaining away the consequences of poor behaviour... like the resentment of other kids towards girls with "snobby", mean-girl attitudes.

No, it was most definitely jealousy. I knew who tried out and didn't make the team, and who was most vocal about the dance team privileges -- as opposed to those who resented the attitude.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

We were a competitive squad and the guys really helped with our stunting. Cheerleading was also pretty big at my school. We would have over 30 girls trying out for a spot on the squad. I guess it's just how things are different for different areas of the country. I didn't know a single person who fenced. Actually, most of my friends probably thought it had something to do with Tom Sawyer and we didn't have hockey, either.

Around here you don't see many co-ed squads on the high school level. When my daughter was cheering there was one high school with one guy on the team. I didn't see a real co-ed squad until we went to Disney to compete.

 

[cheer25mom]

No, it was most definitely jealousy. I knew who tried out and didn't make the team, and who was most vocal about the dance team privileges -- as opposed to those who resented the attitude.

From the mom of a cheerleader, it is definitely cheerleader envy, at least in our area. We have elementary school squads and it starts there. DD got mean things said to her last year like "you think you are better than us" or " it's not fair that you get to wear that" by girls who were not on the squad but not a word to the football players who got to wear their jerseys instead of a uniform shirt. It is worse in the high school I teach at, and usually comes from the moms of the girls who got cut. One mom said they shouldn't be allowed to wear unis at school because it made her daughter upset about not making the squad!

 

[cheer25mom]

The only rational answer I see is everyone needs to meet the dress code. I was an all regional field hockey player back in the mid 80's. We never wore our uniform to school. We changed out after school, before our games.

With all the air conditioning and stuff, I would have felt weird wearing my hockey skirt all day. OUr football players always dressed nicely on Fridays, a nice shirt and khaki pants. Dignified. Why can't cheerleaders also look like they take their sport in a dignified fashion? No need for a burkha, but perhaps a longer skirt, or leggings under the skirt? In the professional world, most of us try to dress in a way that allows us to look dignified. I think we do cheerleaders a disservice by encouraging them to look otherwise.

All of our sports team wear jerseys on game day. I don't think cheerleaders should be singled out to be excluded. Most of ours wear their tops with their warmup bottoms in the building, but it is also still 95 here, so leggings under the skirt outside is a recipe for heatstroke. A cheer uniform is designed to allow the girls to do what they need to do with ease of movement. Lengthening the skirt would definitely impede that. DD does allstar and school, and the girls with longer skirts, particularly in allstar, are the ones who end up with their skirt bunched up around their waist halfway though a routine because it rode up. I think I prefer a shorter skirt that stays in place.

 

[sweetdana]

If a school has a dress code, that dress code should be followed by all students. You don't get a pass because you are a cheerleader. Go change in the locker room before your event.

But, I do have to question why a school has a dress code but that school's cheerleading uniforms don't conform to the dress code. Seems rather hypocritical to me.

I agree with both of these. 100% cheerleaders should follow dress code, and 100% why can't they add pieces / sleeves/ slightly longer/ shorts pants under it.