Do I 'have' to Baptise.....

[bumbershoot]

...or do some other religious service for my baby? Is this something I "must" do?

I'm just curious, because when I say I'm undecided on what to do the reaction I get is : And everyone is askin'!

My DH and I are just not overly religious. We believe in God, etc.

Please do not flame or get into debates on religion. Just looking for some ideas. I figure this board is so diverse, I know you all will help me.....

No, not if you don't think you need to.

We didn't. DS was supposed to have a blessing by the Korean Buddhist monks at his 1st birthday party, but MIL got angry with us and sent them home before the party started, b/c we were "late" (not an hour early). Doesn't make any difference, it just would have been fun to have done.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

My brother actually had his only child baptized because it was a good excuse for a big party!! And th baby would get gifts, and money!! Yep, hard to believe.

I believe it!! Our family is waiting for the big party, too I think- you know sausage and peppers, baked ziti, wine.

Some of you had some great ideas! Thanks for the advise!

 

[GeorgeG]

Another vote here for do what YOU want to do.

 

[wall*e2008]

I replied other. For me being baptized is important, but since you are not religious and the ceremony holds not meaning then why do it?

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Absolutely not. A baby is innocent of all sins because they have never sinned. They need no forgiveness. I know that baby's are innocent because of Christ's sacrifice...No need.

In my church, a baby is given a blessing at birth. Usually very sweet and inspiring.

 

[Golf4food]

Being dunked or sprinkled in/with water never did anything for anybody other than get them wet. Faith comes from the inside, not from a bit of H2O.

 

[bumbershoot]

Absolutely not. A baby is innocent of all sins because they have never sinned. They need no forgiveness. I know that baby's are innocent because of Christ's sacrifice...No need.

In my church, a baby is given a blessing at birth. Usually very sweet and inspiring.

But surely you know that other religions, and other kinds of your religion, see it differently.

 

[Master Mason]

If you are Roman Catholic, there are some practical considerations. If, as an adult, she wished to marry in the Church, she would have to have been not only Baptized, but also have gone through 3 other sacraments: Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, and Confirmation. (All these have to be done in order, with Baptism first.) I've seen it come as a rude shock to brides to find out that they cannot have that Church ceremony because they didn't fulfill their childhood sacramental obligations. (Note that you can of course prepare for and participate in these sacraments for the first time as an adult, but it is more difficult and time-consuming to do it that way.)

I guess I should also note the theological reasons <blush>. It was traditionally taught (based on the opinion of St. Augustine) that a child who had not been baptised would not get into Heaven in the event of childhood death. This was softened by the doctrine of Limbo, a supposed state of natural grace that nonetheless precluded communion with God. In recent years, the Church has abandoned the idea that Limbo exists, so the whole controversy has warmed up again. The Pope offered a new opinion last year that maybe God saves unbaptized infants after all, so this is all very controversial. USAToday published a nice laymen's synopsis at the time of the Pope's most recent opinion: http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2007-04-20-popelimbo_N.htm

That depends on the church in question. My son is going to get married to his Catholic Fiance next year in the Catholic Church. He is not Catholic, was not confirmed, and is a Mason. The priest had no issues with any of those things, even though they all go against official church dogma.


As for the OP, do what you want, We had me, and both of my boys baptised on the same day in the Episcopal church we were attending.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I'm a Christian but was not baptized as a child. I was baptized after I became a believer as an adult. Infant baptism is a wonderful thing, but it includes with it an implicit promise that the parent(s) are going to actively raise the child in the Christian faith. If that's not a promise you're ready to make then there is no need to further consider baptism. What friends/family/neighbors say is irrelevant.

 

[NAB]

That depends on the church in question. My son is going to get married to his Catholic Fiance next year in the Catholic Church. He is not Catholic, was not confirmed, and is a Mason. The priest had no issues with any of those things, even though they all go against official church dogma.

This is because only one has to be Catholic and promise to raise the children Catholic if they have any.

Guess it all depends OP if you are going to send the kids to a Catholic school or not.

For those who say a child should make up his or her mind that is what Confirmation is all about when a child is 13. Some in my dd class year didn't even do First Communion.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

I took this approach...and it backfired on me. I'm agnostic (former Catholic) and when my daughter was born I had no intention of baptizing her (in other Christian sects they baptize as adults or when the person is old enough to accept Christ.) In Catholic church they get them as babies. So, I had no intention of baptizing. My family hounded me and hounded me. I kept arguing and discussing. I am very close to my family and they are important to me. Both sides of the family was getting more aggressive toward me "When are you gonig to baptize?" "When, when, when...!!!" When she turned 18 months I decided to baptize her in the Catholic church just to get my family off my back! I have to live with them. I have to love them. I did it for them.

I just find myself reading this post over and over so I have to comment and say that I identify soooo much with this. I'm afaid I may have the hounding going on here, too! Will they be hounding forever? I bolded the above because I am feeling the exact same way!

Yet I am unsure how I feel about the Catholic church. I have no intention of causing a problem here, but IMO I just don't agree with their take on a lot of issues.

I went to catholic school for 9 years and I don't have any particular fond memories of it. The nuns where just I could tell you some stories, but I don't want to: with any catholics. I respect everyone's choice of religion. I just don't think it suits our family.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I'm an atheist so I guess my personal opinion on baptism is obvious.

As to what you should do, I agree with everyone else that only you can decide that.

I was thinking, though, that as far as I know baptizing a baby in the Catholic Church is not that easy to do if one isn't practicing and/or doesn't have a relationship with a particular parish/priest. My family is Catholic and I'm pretty sure my cousins who recently baptized babies had to go through classes for the parents beforehand (at least I think that is right--I know there are required classes for first communion and marriage at least). And I believe that part of what you as a parent are doing when baptizing a baby in the Catholic religion is promising to bring that child up as a Catholic. (I believe my relatives were told there are even rules as to who can be Godparents that have to do with this--I think they could only have one non-Catholic as a Godparent and still that person had to be a Christian. Not sure if those rules differ by priest/parish.)

 

[EthansMom]

I just don't want to be a hypocrite. I know we won't go to church!

Yet I do want her to have I guess "spirituality". Any ideas?

TIA

I was raised Catholic and DH was raise JW. I consider myself to be a Christian and DH would more likely be characterized as an agnostic.

My mom was kind of (gently) on my case about having DS baptised when he was first born, but we weren't attending church anywhere and it just never seemed important to us. So, we didn't baptise our kids... There's always time for them to decide to baptised in the future, if that is their choice.

I do discuss God and Jesus with our kids and they do have their own children's bibles, which we read upon occasion. Definitely DS6 has a good general understanding of "God", "Jesus", "heaven", etc... I wouldn't say that DS is deeply religious, but I think that, so far, I've given him enough basics to help him make his own decisions about religion, in the future.

 

[daisax]

That depends on the church in question. My son is going to get married to his Catholic Fiance next year in the Catholic Church. He is not Catholic, was not confirmed, and is a Mason. The priest had no issues with any of those things, even though they all go against official church dogma.

I'm guessing they're not having a full mass?

 

[EthansMom]

[/B]

I'm afaid I may have the hounding going on here, too! Will they be hounding forever? I bolded the above because I am feeling the exact same way!

I finally told my Mom, "There's plenty of time for them to be baptised, in the future, if that's what they want. I really don't think God would hold it against them if they weren't baptised as babies." And, though that doesn't go strictly with the Catholic teachings, my Mom got it and understood.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I'm guessing they're not having a full mass?

My parents (mom-Catholic, dad-protestant but not a church-goer) got married in a Catholic Church in the early 80s. I believe they had the entire mass--just skipped the part where the groom takes communion.

There's no other part of mass I can think of which a non-Catholic is forbidden from taking part in--is there?

 

[TomLovesBecky]

Um, NO.

Kathee

I agree, it seems ridiculous that God would send a baby or child to hell for not being baptized. Actually I think the same is true of an adult. No God of mine would send someone to hell just because they didn't have a priest or pastor pour some water on his or her head and mumble some stuff in a foreign language. I'm not knocking it, because I am not against baptism and yes my own had ceremonies and I would do it again if I had another child. I'm just saying, it is the parents' choice and furthermore I do not believe God would send anyone to hell just because of that. My church does not teach that either, by the way.

 

[Castlebound]

I'm a Christian but was not baptized as a child. I was baptized after I became a believer as an adult. Infant baptism is a wonderful thing, but it includes with it an implicit promise that the parent(s) are going to actively raise the child in the Christian faith. If that's not a promise you're ready to make then there is no need to further consider baptism. What friends/family/neighbors say is irrelevant.

The part of the quote that I bolded is important. The Catholic church does see it as a promise to raise your child in the Catholic faith. You can teach faith at home without being baptized and let you child decide what they want as they get older. RCIA classes are the classes for adults who are interested in becoming part of the Catholic church. My DH took them when I was pregnant with our youngest child. It was totally his choice to make. PSR classes are mandatory religion classes for Catholic children who do not attend a Catholic school. For a couple to get married in a Catholic church one of them not only has to be baptized Catholic but must have also received all of the other rites (1st Communion, 1st Reconciliation, and Conformation). In order to receive thoses rites a child must have went to Catholic school or PSR classes. So being baptized is just "the beginning".

 

[pooh4evr]

Getting baptized here is not all that difficult (we are Roman Catholic) you fill out a form, send it in, attend a one time(good for all your future kids) "class" (it was maybe an hour in the rectory) and you schedule when you want it done (every other Sunday after 12 mass) and of coures pick your godparents one of which has to be catholic- as for weddings we werw also able to get married in the church because I was catholic and had fulfilled all the sacraments (Dh was presbyterian, had been baptized, and confirmed in his church)(he has since converted)

OP if you want her to have some sense of spirituality then you need to make a commitment to teach her - and probably haver her baptized or christened at some point.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I know this as I am Catholic, too. Maybe that's why I'm afraid?

My DH family is Italian Catholic.

When I told my one SIL about this, I think I heard her praying in Italian for my DD while she was holding her!

LOLOL.. I think its up to you to wait and feel comfortable when you are ready.

My 4 kids are baptised catholic. I am not catholic, dh is. They were baptized at 1yo, 9mo, 2yo and 1yo.

My oldest 2 have done their communion. They can do their confirmation as adults if they choose to.

Hubby went though it all and married me, non catholic. We didnt want a church wedding anyway.