Do I 'have' to Baptise.....

[PatsGirl]

No. But I feel for ya -- I get flack for not having my children baptized from family and friends.

My opinion is that children have a right to be raised without religious ignorance (or other ignorances as well) and that as parents it is our duty to make sure they learn many different aspects of religion. My children both attended Sunday School on a regular basis and know the many bible verses and stories that many others know. They know why we celebrate Christmas and the significance of Easter. They are being raised to be moral, law-abiding, compassionate, and productive adults and that is good enough for me until they decide if and what religion they would like to follow/join.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I just find myself reading this post over and over so I have to comment and say that I identify soooo much with this. I'm afaid I may have the hounding going on here, too! Will they be hounding forever? I bolded the above because I am feeling the exact same way!

I'd be worried that giving in once might just encourage their hounding later--"when are you going to start bringing the baby to church?" "when is she going to go to CCD?" "when is she getting first confession/first communion/confirmation?" I would think it might be easier to just nip it in the bud at the beginning. She's your kid and you'll decide how to raise her and if they'd like to have the privilege of being part of her life, they'd better learn to respect that.

I know, easier said than done! I have a big Italian Catholic family too. I'm guessing things will be easier for me because it's not that I'm conflicted about the church/religion--just that I reject everything about it. GF worries about it sometimes, but I just can't imagine them even bringing the subject up because they know how I feel. Have you tried either a) insulting their religious beliefs right back when they insult yours (I know, not very nice, but they aren't being very nice either) or b) asking them to actually give you good evidence/reasons for why the things they believe religiously are true (my family doesn't even know what they church says on most issues let alone have a reason for believing it!). As soon as I started doing those things my family shut the heck up and left me alone when I was a young teen and became an atheist.

 

[ICF]

If you are Roman Catholic, there are some practical considerations. If, as an adult, she wished to marry in the Church, she would have to have been not only Baptized, but also have gone through 3 other sacraments: Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, and Confirmation. (All these have to be done in order, with Baptism first.) I've seen it come as a rude shock to brides to find out that they cannot have that Church ceremony because they didn't fulfill their childhood sacramental obligations. (Note that you can of course prepare for and participate in these sacraments for the first time as an adult, but it is more difficult and time-consuming to do it that way.)[/url]

That's not necessarily true. My wife, at the time we married, was not Catholic.

She had been baptized Methodist as a child, but had not had any other sacraments. There was no issue at all with her getting married to a Catholic, in a Catholic church, by a priest.

 

[RitaE]

Take my opinion for what it is worth - I'm not Catholic.

If it is important to the Grandparents and you are ambivalent, I'd do it. What's it going to hurt? Plus, if you ever decide to send the kid to Catholic school or she wants to eventually join the Catholic Church or whatever... it will make your life much easier.

Now, if you are against it, then I wouldn't do it. I'm personally of a Christianity type that I don't think God cares at all whether or not you dress your infant up in a really pretty dress and sprinkle water on his or her head while she is totally oblivious to the significance. I think God is much deeper than that and in no way shape or form do I see the God I worship punishing a child (or even an adult) based upon whether or not they had a Church ceremony.

You could also do a Naming ceremony, a Christening, or anything else you feel is appropriate. That is the beauty of it being your kid, your opinion is the one that matters the most.

 

[Master Mason]

I'm guessing they're not having a full mass?

I don't know, but I remember other friends that had tried to get married in the Catholic church not that long ago that were refused unless the non catholic converted.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Its not like if you don't do it, your child walks around with a sign saying "Waiting for Satan" or something like that. I don't even know why people would be asking - how does that even come up in conversation?!
Do whatever you want, it doesn't matter what others think.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

Its not like if you don't do it, your child walks around with a sign saying "Waiting for Satan" or something like that. I don't even know why people would be asking - how does that even come up in conversation?!
Do whatever you want, it doesn't matter what others think.

You know how some Jersey people are! The question I hear most is: "WHEN is the baby's baptism?"

It comes up in conversation mostly with family. Some friends. And I got away with it for a while, since I had injuries during birth, everyone backed off. Now - it's a different story as she is getting older, the summer is passing, it's basically looking more and more like I'm not getting her baptised. Oh - and they didn't get an invitation to a party!

A lot of people on here talked about teaching her about God, Christmas, etc. I will definetly do this no matter what I decide. I believe in God and will teach her the best I can. I say "I" because my DH couldn't care less what we do.

 

[NotUrsula]

That's not necessarily true. My wife, at the time we married, was not Catholic.

She had been baptized Methodist as a child, but had not had any other sacraments. There was no issue at all with her getting married to a Catholic, in a Catholic church, by a priest.

Well, yes, if you are not a Catholic but the groom is, AND you are getting married in the groom's parish, then you can, but normally a wedding is hosted by the bride's side. If it is her parish and she's not offically baptised, then the answer will be no. You can be a practicing Catholic and attend a Catholic parish all your life, but sacraments are incremental, and [with the exception of Extreme Unction] if you try to skip any of them but do the next most complex one, the Church will normally call you on it and refuse to let you do it.

Lots of Catholic adults don't realize this, but the parish of your baptism is your parish of record: that parish is informed of and keeps the official record of any sacraments you receive in any Roman Catholic parish, worldwide. I recently got a copy of my Baptismal certificate because I wanted to confirm who my godparents were, and there were all the notations: First Communion, Reconciliation, Confirmation, and Marriage, even though they had all taken place in different parishes in differing states. They do keep track, and they do confirm that you are telling the truth when you claim to have received certain sacraments.

I don't think making getting married easier is a valid enough reason on its own to have a child baptised, but in a case where the parents were on the fence it might be enough to influence someone in favor of doing it, just in case the child turns out to be more religious than the parents are.

PS: For the OP, if everyone is asking about a party, just say that you won't have one. That should quiet those who are not sincerely concerned. The only thing that we did when our children were baptised was to take their grandmother and godparents out to lunch -- no party, and no extravagant gifts.