Do/did you raise your kids to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir?"

[Byrd]

As a teacher living in the south I believe in it, do it, and model it. I also praise "thank you", "please", and "may I".
My ouw children have had no problems due to this, and I don't think my students have had any problems either.
My youngest son at the Citadel must do this. As an example: Sir, Yes sir, and No excuse sir! So far it hasn't caused any problems unless he does not respond in such a manner.

 

[Southern4sure]

It is definitely a northern/southern thing. And please, let's not make it about manners. One need not say "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am" to have manners -- and conversely, one can say "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am" and have awful manners.

But see in the south were I was raised (southern AL) it is all about manners. Im not saying your child or any one elses children doesnt have manners but it is different in the south. Adults from the south expect children to be polite and say yes ma'am, thank you and etc. Old timers will comment about how parents are lacking in raising polite children.

My kids have become good friends with kids from the north who mostly do not say yes ma'am and thank and etc. I have no problem with it and they are great kids. I still expect my children to say it though.

 

[MsLeFever]

Yankee here - no Ma'am or Sir as a kid - although I use Sir quite a bit now. My parents were teachers as were most of their friends so they were quite used to Mr. and Mrs. "Last Name".

Now, when I taught in Macon Ga, I got "Ma'am"ed quite a bit and I thought it was rather elegant actually!

 

[shortbun]

Casual Ohioan here. While I find ma'am and sir a bit stilted, I do hate it when children do not know how to respond to someone talking to them or giving them instructions. I see children every day who simply keep their heads down and their eyes averted. I find this rude and scary that so many children are not taught to respond with a simple, "ok" or "all right" or even whatever is good in their vernacular would be good for me as agreement or acknowledgment. I don't care if a child says, "I feel ya", I want an acknowledgment. I'm teaching my child that response is mandatory and that eye contact(even if he just looks at their mouth because you can't really tell) is also necessary however briefly he can muster.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

My kids have become good friends with kids from the north who mostly do not say yes ma'am and thank and etc. I have no problem with it and they are great kids. I still expect my children to say it though.

My son, and all of my nieces and nephews say aunt and uncle to anyone close and miss and mister to anyone who isn't. I'm from the North. I don't know of any kids from the North who aren't raised to say thank you and please.

 

[NMAmy]

It really is a southern thing. I picked it up and dd uses ma'am and sir (along with Miss Whoever) to those that are older than she is. I used ma'am and sir as a sign of respect but when I moved back to Michigan, people looked at me like I had two heads. My current boss is from another country and when I first started working here, she would get very offended when I'd call her ma'am. Now at my old position, I worked for the President of a college who we never addressed by his first name (he was always Dr. Lastname) and always by sir. It was just a more formal atmosphere but it's very difficult to go back and forth.

 

[bgirldeb]

My son, and all of my nieces and nephews say aunt and uncle to anyone close and miss and mister to anyone who isn't. I'm from the North. I don't know of any kids from the North who aren't raised to say thank you and please.

"Yes/no ma'am/sir" and "thank you" are two completely separate issues.

 

[LoveWDW]

Yes we raised our children to use Ma'am and Sir, and they did so until they entered school. No one else did, so they stopped it. I like to think that maybe now in their adult lives that speaking respectfully to authority figures will come more easily because of early training in using respectful forms of address to adults, but I really doubt that this is the case.

Reading Shortbun's comments made me want to add another comment. I'd suggest that parents raise their children to look a person to whom they have been introduced (not talking a stranger here, that is another issue), but if they are introduced to a person and the person extends a hand to shake hands (the child should not extend a hand until the adult does) the child should offer the right hand, look the adult in the eye and say a polite greeting. This will impress the adult greatly. And it also trains the young person in the proper way to behave at a formal event, such as a job interview.

 

[jrydberg]

My point is, perhaps it's considered good manners in the south, but that's not the case everywhere, so it is completely inappropriate IMO, to say categorically that kids saying "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir" is all about manners.

It is good manners in the south -- great. But if anyone tries to tell me my daughter doesn't have good manners because she doesn't say that, they're gonna get an earful about what manners are all about.

 

[RadioNate]

Uggh I hate ma'am and sir. It seems so fake to me. My ds has excellent manners and doesn't use ma'am or sir.

Believe me any time I used ma'am or sir as a child it wasn't a sign of respect. It was usually dripping in scarcasm and followed up with a 1-finger salute behind the adult's back.

 

[JVL1018]

No, it's virtually unheard of around here to hear kids says ma'am or sir..but I have friends in TX and KY whose kids do it. I think it's nice.

My kids do say it when they are being silly, either yes, ma'am or yes, your highness. LOL I'll take it.

 

[DWhittles]

I plan on it as well as addressing adults by their last name.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

"Yes" and "No" would be fine if it did not deteriorate into "yeah", "huh?","what?", "nah", etc. All of those are inappropriate ways for a child to speak to an adult IMO.

 

[transparant]

My only kid that says "Ma'am or Sir" is my youngest. He does that because he's convinced he's a 4 year old Marine. So if an adult asks him to do something he snaps up and says "Yes Sir." I do however expect my children to address other's as Mr., Mrs, Miss unless told otherwise by that person themselves.

 

[SherryNC]

kinda like when someone from the Midwest calls it "pop" and everyone smirks. Rude comments shouldn't be tolerated in either case, but comments should be expected.

I've also raised her to address adults as Mr. [Last name] and Mrs./Ms./Miss [Last name] because that's the way I was raised and it works for me.

How sheltered was I growing up in the burbs north of Chicago to not find out until my 20's that it was called anything other than pop?

Same here, and dd, almost 16, says she is the ONLY one that has to do that.

 

[Papa Deuce]

We deifinitey do not make them say yes m'aam or sir. But for sure they must say please, thank you, and excuse me.... and most of the time they remember to say "you're welcome ".

 

[momm2four]

Yes, we do. I believe that age should be respected, and the way I would like for my kids to show respect for their elders is to answer "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir". I do like to hear that from kids, but don't get offended if they only answer yes or no, though. What does get my goat is when a child answers me with "Yeah" or "Mm-mm"

My friend was from the north, and she received the same "What?Are you in the army now?" when she went back home for a visit.

What bothers me more than that is when a 5 year old child calls me by my first name. I don't even expect Mrs. Powell, just Ms. Lori. While I DON"T believe that adults are better than children, nor that children should be treated less well than adults, I DON'T believe that adults and children are peers. I think that's one of the biggest problems I face in teaching, is dealing with kids who think they are peers with adults.

Lori P.

 

[Stitch Inside]

Do/did you raise your kids to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir?"

Yep, sure do/did.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Yes, I always said yes mam, or yes sir. It was acceptable in the south. Now sometimes I slip up, and say it up here and people look at me wierd. Or I get, "Where you in the military?". I just say no, but I grew up as a military brat!!

 

[Kitty 34]

My boys were brought up to use their please's and thank you's and to address all adults with a Mr or Mrs.