Do/did you raise your kids to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir?"

[Castlebound]

No, my children do not say ma'am or sir. Other than some distant cousins that live in the south nobody I know says that. I thought it was odd that they called our great grandma ma'am. I called her Great Grandma.

I believe that just because you are older that does not mean that you get any more respect. We have taught our kids to always be polite, but respect is different and you have to earn it. I know a lot of people who were rude and mean when they were younger and they didn't get any better with age. I do not respect them but I am always polite to them.

 

[vettechick99]

My parents didn't raise me to say it because they are northerners, but because I was raised in the south, my friend's parents expected me to say it. I think I'll teach my children to say it (as well as Thank you and Please). It's respectful and nice manners, IMO.

They'll also send out thank you notes for gifts they receive from relatives...might as well learn to hate that early.

 

[Rozzie]

another southerner here. and "Yes, mam" and "Yes, sir" were expected. My grandfather especially. He was a wonderful gentle man, but you never would make the mistake of not saying sir to him. I am always commented by people about how I still say sir and mam, and never once was it a bad comment. I even had a promotion at work and part of my promotion paperwork stated my manners to other professionals, from Dr's to housekeeping staff. I guess I am not offending anyone. I say it to anyone 10 yrs or such older than me.

Even now, If I do not say "mam" to my mother, I think she is going to hit the roof. I will raise my children, God willing, with the same expectations. However, I don't think if a child is not raised to say that makes them disrespectful. I know plenty of northern kids who are very respectful and polite without the mams and sirs--- but they do stick out in a crowd of southern kids.

 

[tarmand]

They'll also send out thank you notes for gifts they receive from relatives...might as well learn to hate that early.

I agree. I have sent a thank you note for every gift we have received for Emily. Man, I can't wait until she can write!

 

[Southern4sure]

I know plenty of northern kids who are very respectful and polite without the mams and sirs.

Thank you. This was the point I was trying to make. You dont have to say it to be considered polite but it is expected in the south.

 

[leighe]

We will absolutely be teaching DS or DD (we might find out today ) to use Ma'am and Sir. I was brought up that way and so was DH. I still say Sir or Ma'am when addressing older people. I don't think it's teaching that adults are so much more important that kids - I think it teaches that respect is important. As a teacher I can tell you that plenty of kids have very little respect for adults or authority of any kind.

I also grew up calling my mom and dad's friends or my friends' parents Miss First Name or Mr. First Name.

 

[tinatark]

We've taught our children to answer ALL adults with yes ma'am, et. al....they also use please and thank you - and do not address adults by their first names!

 

[gina2000]

I'm from the north and "Yes, Ma'am" or "Yes, sir" just isn't done here. We use Mr. and Mrs. and the last name as a form of respect. And as nice as it sounds, we never use Miss with a first name. I find it a bit too informal.

Just regional differences, I guess.

 

[Beth76]

I hate being addressed as ma'am. I'm not 80. I also don't like being called Mrs. I will tell any child who calls me Mrs. to call me Beth. I will not have my boys addressing people as "ma'am" or "sir". They can be polite without those words--and they are. Well the four-year-old is anyway; the other one doesn't talk yet.

The only time I use "ma'am" or "sir" is when I need to get the attention of a stranger. A lady dropped something out of her cart once at the grocery store and I said. "excuse me, ma'am". I hated saying it, but I couldn't just say "Hey lady!" We need to find a happy medium.

 

[Aidensmom]

We have not deliberately TAUGHT DS4 to say m'am, sir, thank you please, etc. He uses all of those however, because DH and I do. For our family, it is just the natural way to talk. We also use the Miss or Mister with the first name when talking to my son and referring to an adult. The other day my sister and I found ourselves doing this when talking to each other LOL.

Incidentally, I was raised in the north and speak that way, I don't know if my parents deliberately taught me to or what

 

[Pete's Mom]

My point is, perhaps it's considered good manners in the south, but that's not the case everywhere, so it is completely inappropriate IMO, to say categorically that kids saying "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir" is all about manners.

It is good manners in the south -- great. But if anyone tries to tell me my daughter doesn't have good manners because she doesn't say that, they're gonna get an earful about what manners are all about.

As much as it behooves me to say it, I agree with Jeff.

Pete is PAINFULLY shy and I used to constantly goad him into immediate responses, making eye contact, shaking hands, etc. with others which in turn, only made him uncomfortable and more withdrawn. I still feel ashamed that I did this, but I was more worried about what others would think. This thread is a perfect example of others being very judgemental.

Over time and by my example, Pete has learned to say, "No, thank you" and "Yes, please", and that's good enough for me. I'm damn sure not going to make him drop and give me 20 for not saying, "SIR! YES SIR!

 

[jrydberg]

As much as it behooves me to say it, I agree with Jeff.

Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Say it with me... Krispy... Kreme...

 

[SherryNC]

As much as it behooves me to say it, I agree with Jeff.

What!?! I thought his name was Jerry.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Say it with me... Krispy... Kreme...

Crisco Cringe.....

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Say it with me... Krispy... Kreme...

 

[Southern4sure]

I just love a plain hot Krispy Kreme doughnut.....heaven...

 

[Pete's Mom]

What!?! I thought his name was Jerry.

I think Jerry Dberg is either his stunt double or evil twin....

 

[jrydberg]

I just love a plain hot Krispy Kreme doughnut.....heaven...

You are clearly a good person with impeccable manners!

 

[jrydberg]

I think Jerry Dberg is either his stunt double or evil twin....

It's with an apostrophe... my stage name... Jerry D'berg! Have you heard my new album?

 

[Southern4sure]

You are clearly a good person with impeccable manners!

It helps.... I say "thank you sir" every time my brother brings over a dozen, at least he did before we moved. I have a bro who manages one of the local stores and a sis who worked there for a few yrs.