Do co-workers try to flirt and/or "come on" to your happily-married spouse at work?

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by Pin Wizard
And you would be surprised how many guys who are "just flirting" actually would do more!!

Wouldn't surprise me at all anymore....when I first started working with a lot of guys I was shocked at how many of them cheated..and at work they are pretty open about talking about it or their girlfriends coming by work......I am not just talking about the young guys in their 20's...the ones in their 40's and 50's were about the worst ones!

 

[powellrj]

my DH and I both work in the same industry, but have totally different jobs with different companies, but we do deal with many of the same people. And yes people flirt with my dh all the time. Bless his heart, he just doesn't know thats what they are doing!!!

 

[NMAmy]

Well, since my ex had an affair with a co-worker (and married her after our divorce), I take a pretty dim view of flirters!

DH is aware of this and always makes sure that I know (and others know) that I am the only woman in his life. He is English and that accent does make women go ga-ga over him, though!

 

[Pooh67_68]

It wasn't a coworker but the bosses daughter who tried, back when he first started working there. My husband stoped her dead her her tracks though before she was able to go to far.
This woman has tried to flirt and or fool around with all the men working there and the few who got involved, lost their job when she got bored with them, or if they spurned her.
(Did I mention she was married than, but not now).

 

[tastelikecandy]

My fiance' works with All guys. He is a night manager and the women all leave at 4. My job on the other hand is in a building with 50 floors and our floor is about a 75 to 25 guy to girl ration. HOt guys too. Everyday I get home my baby is like "so anyone flirt with you today baby?? He is so in-secure and he is gorgeous!!! I am too straight up to have to cheat. I would just tell him it was not working out and I am interested in someone else before I would creep!!!

 

[missypie]

I think people in some professions (e.g. waitressing) unfortunately have to put up with more flirting, esp. where alcohol is served. With that said, I think work place environments and corporate ethics can either encourge or discourage affairs. Ex-husband had an affair while working at HQ for a huge corp. A guy I work with now worked there at the same time and agreed that the environment was hostile to marriage - they were always having "no spouses invited" events, etc. and the chief executives had to have others sent on business meetings with them, kind of as "baby sitters" to attempt to keep them out of trouble.

At my workplace there have certainly been affairs, but the flirting better be pretty darned hush hush.

I also think people send off "vibes" that they are open to flirting. Ex-husband reported that women were "always" coming on to him; at the same time NO ONE ever came on to me. But once I was single, I started perceiving interest from single guys at work.

 

[tkd lisa]

My DH had a coworker who I think was flirting with him for a long time. He finally blocked her emails. Kind of strange situation.

You do see people's marriages break up all the time over things like this, so I try to keep things very professional. I usually end up with mostly guys working with and/or for me. In fact, one of my employees told me that he wasn't sure if he should take the job because of travelling with a woman and the possibilities for people's interpretations. He said that he's been very pleased with the way it's worked, though. I think one important key is to never, never, never lose control of yourself when you are with coworkers, especially while on travel. Things can get out of hand quickly when one of you is drinking.

 

[Beastlover]

This happened with me and DH-female coworker coming on to him BIG TIME. I trust DH, but I don't like the woman cuz she had no respect for my marriage, or hers for that matter. She is such a pain, I see her with other men hanging on them and I just shake my head.

 

[Feralpeg]

I don't want to start a war, but it does go both ways. I am single. I can't tell you how many times in my 30 years at my job that married men hit on me. Before I get attacked here, let me tell you that I did nothing to encourage it. It happens both ways. I've seen it all. If you don't like it, you tell them to back off! Most people take the hint pretty quickly.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Yeah. He eventually left me and married her!

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

I was a cocktail waitress and restaurant server and MGD girl throughout my HS and college years and dealing w/ flirtation was part of the job. The more alcohol, the more flirting, the better tips. No big deal.... I got used to it. My DH (boyfriend at the time) used to enjoy it! He'd get invited to the promotions at the bars or tailgate parties at PSU and would get free beer. All the other boyfriends were flipping out and he just sat nicely at the bar or at the tailgate party before the PSU game while they passed him another cold one until I got off work.

The bad flirts came from my coworkers mostly, esp. the skanky cooks who would wag their tongues at me from the kitchen knowing I felt it was a disgusting gesture. Another cook told me he had a dream about me wearing Daisy Duke shorts. blek!!! And everyone was sleeping w/ everyone so I guess those lines worked on some. There were so many affairs and breakups of marriages that it was sad. Anyway, one day a coworker grabbed me in the behind at a Holiday Party, then found out my boyfriend was there. The coworker went over to him and apologized to my boyfriend like I was his property. Well, my boyfriend told him to apologize to me. And he did. I ended up marrying that boyfriend and he's been respectful of me ever since. He showed no signs of jealousy which made me nervous at first as if he didn't care. Then I realized that if I left him for one of those other guys, then I wasn't worth his effort. The ball was in my court... ha ha. Now if the tables were turned, I would have fought to the death. But I was much younger back then and full of vigor.

 

[SC Minnie]

I don't know about DH work but the 'older' lady that works for him wouldn't hesitate to call me if something inappropriate was going on.

This didn't happen to me though. One of our managers kept making comments like -- noticing hair cuts, clothes, etc. He would tell me about his traveling exploits. I would just listen and brush him off. Then one day he came right out and ask me for drinks because 'his wife was out of town'. I told him my husband wasn't and we have family time in the evenings- I tried to be nice about it because he was a manager. I then went to my immediate supervisor just to let him know. He was going to do something about it like talk to him or talk my supervisors boss. I told him I didn't want him to do anything but wanted him to know about it just in case anything came out of it later. The next month our company was bought out and the manager got a position 2000 miles away.

 

[ShuisFan584]

Well I'm not married, but I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, and yes it bothers me when girls flirt with him! His first job was at AC Moore, which is like an arts and crafts store, and there were a lot more girls than guys working there. The girls there were always flirting with him. Some of them slapped his butt a few times and one always wanted him to come to her house! After he quit his job, he would sometimes go in there with me if he ever needed anything and the girls were so annoying. They would always be like "Hey Steven, we miss you, you should come back," in this really annoying flirty voice.

We both just recently got a job at the cafe in Barnes & Noble. We don't have that many coworkers, probably about 15, and only one girl there knows we're together. There's one girl who was just hired the same time as us, who is always flirting with him. The first day she asked him what he was doing later that day. He said probably nothing, and then she asked him if he was 21. He said that he wasn't, and she just said that she thought he was closer to her age (she's 21, he's 19). I told him that she asked him that because she probably wanted to go to a bar with him or something later, but he didn't think she was hitting on him!

Then the next day, she comes in as a customer with her friends. Of course when she sees Steve, she says hi to him all flirty, but not to anyone else. I told him that she brought her friends in so she could show them the guy she likes. She also asks him stuff about if he goes down the shore a lot and stuff, but he still doesn't think she's flirting.

We always argue about who would get hit on more, and I'm definitely winning, since I said he would definitely get more girls. I never have anyone hit on me at work, but he always does. I trust him completely, but it does make me a little jealous when girls hit on him. At least now we work together and I can keep an eye on any of these girls.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I get flirted with sometimes, but I always come home and tell my bf about it...we laugh about it and then let it go. We both know we would never cheat on each other or do anything to jepordize our relationship.

 

[CyranoJones]

I assume DH's coworkers flirt with him. He certainly is flirt-worthy.

 

[Figaro]

My spouse gets flirted with, but being a techno-geek, he usually doesn't notice. He did notice the time a co-worker came into his office and put her foot up on his desk and said: "I shave my legs every day so that they are always nice and smooth."

My spouse's response: "I don't care and don't ever put your foot on my desk again. In fact, don't even come into my office again unless it is work related."

One place he worked for years ago was just incredible. Everyone was cheating on their spouses with their married co-workers. People would get written up for having sex in closets, the warehouse and offices.

At the Chrismas party for that company, I was in the bathroom and two of his co-workers (who had always been pleasant to me the few times we had met) came in and started complaining about how they didn't see what on earth my spouse saw in me and why he stayed married to someone like me since I was a crip(smile). They went on and on in that vein for a while (they had been drinking) and when I finished and came out of the stall there was dead silence from the two of them. I just smiled at them, washed my hands and left.

Leaving them wondering if I told my spouse (which I did on the way home). Much better to take the high road and just let them think about what they had been saying and know that my spouse didn't think very highly of them after that incident(smile).

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by aprilgail2
Wouldn't surprise me at all anymore....when I first started working with a lot of guys I was shocked at how many of them cheated..and at work they are pretty open about talking about it or their girlfriends coming by work......I am not just talking about the young guys in their 20's...the ones in their 40's and 50's were about the worst ones!

You made me think about a doc on staff at the hospital whose wife would bring their baby with her and visit him for lunch just about every day. He was the biggest flirt I've ever seen. Hmmm...guess she really needed to keep an eye on him!

Ahhhhhhhh...the stories of the nurses and the doctors!

 

[popeyeohoh]

This hits a nerve. Yes it bothers me. She is no longer employed.

 

[sk!mom]

I have always worked with mostly women- so I'm never flirted with.

DH has been hit on by co-workers over the years. I think that he is probably flattered- I would be if I was him. I'm not bothered by it because we have a really great, long relationship and I trust him. He likes to tell people that he is "very married."

I actually think that the women who hit on married men should be pitied. It's sad that they would settle for that. If they get any takers, all they've got is a cheater.

 

[flaps]

Thx for your replies.