Disgusting situation at the grocery store today

[DVC Sadie]

Please congratulate your mother for me on her resourcefulness and and hard work. The situation you describe is exactly what government assistance is supposed to be for.

I will point out that the difference between your family's situation and the situations of many of the folks I have encountered who receive government benefits is that many of them have every intention of receiving government benefits for the rest of their life.

I am a nurse in an urban hospital which also takes care of surrounding suburban towns. Believe me, the abuse of government assistance, whether it be welfare, food stamps, Medicaid or whatever, is amazing. And, before you all jump down my throats, it is not only abused by those who live in the more urban areas...many of the suburbanites abuse the system just as much!!! We recently had a news story where a couple who lived in a $750K house in a well-to-do surburb had scammed the food stamp and welfare offices for years!!! They each had huge incomes, and were receiving both welfare checks and food stamps. When they got caught, they were ordered to pay restitution, I think there was jail time involved as well.

It's easy to say "feel sorry for someone" when you don't see able-bodied men hanging on street corners all day because they are "too good" to work at a grocery store or at McDonald's or somewhere else, but have no problem receiving a welfare handout. It's easy to feel sorry for someone when you don't hear them say to you, in a mocking tone of voice, "you just keep workiing so I don't have to". It's easy to feel sorry for someone when you don't see them sending their kids into the small kitchen on your nursing unit to steal all the juice, milk and applesauce in the fridge to take home, and you have an administration that wants to be "customer friendly" so we don't lock the fridge, but when it comes time to give your elderly mother her pills which she cannot swallow without applesauce, there is none.

I doubt any of us would be so willing to walk a mile anywhere when it becomes our loved ones who are negatively affected by someone else's bad behavior.

ITA! Great post.

What frustrates us are the mutitudes of people who make no bones about being on food stamps and receiving welfare. Not only is it a way of life for them but they actually feel as if they deserve to receive benefits for life. I am all for giving a hand up when needed but not when some choose this as a way of life.

 

[RickinNYC]

I was raised under very fortunate circumstances and like so many others, I used to make snap judgements when I saw the WIC checks exchange hands when shopping. I'll admit, some of those judgements weren't particularly nice, if not downright nasty. "Why am I working so hard to put food on the table when they don't have to do a damn thing?" "How dare they buy THAT with my hard earned tax dollars?"

Then, due to personal reasons, I had a change of heart in my career goals and moved into the non-profit sector. I worked for a few years at a food rescue charity where we collected food that would otherwise go to waste, insure that it follows standard food safety guidelines, and deliver it to those that could benefit from it, i.e. homeless shelters, food pantries, soup kitchens, etc... Now I work for a charity that provides direct service to homeless men and women.

This whole process has been nothing but eye opening. I thank God every day for giving me the opportunity to do something and learn something and not place others in such harsh light due to my lack of knowledge. I have heard so many heart breaking stories, from teen prostitution, to horrifying levels of domestic abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism and on and on. Not a day goes by that I don't think there but for the grace of God go I. Sure, it sounds like a cliche, but it's true.

This week, April 23-29, is National Volunteer Appreciation Week. Now is as good a time as any in putting the energy you invest into your frustration with "the system" and give back to your community. Register as a volunteer in your neighborhood, town or city. There are so many jobs out there that need people who are willing to make a difference. Rather than getting pissed off, go out and do something.

It's not difficult to find the time. There are plenty of virtual volunteer opportunities that allow you to do work from home. There are facilities that operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can run canned food drives in your own neighborhood. If you put a little effort, you'll find something that fits your availability.

For those that live in NYC, you can bet I guarantee you that I'll find you something that you can do at our own organization!

 

[smilie]

You do realize that WIC isn't a government "handout" right?

I was on WIC with both of my kids when I was working as a manager in a bookstore. Ironic that a cashier who probably made less than me, in a lower position than me would treat me like trash under her feet every time I used those checks.

You can't possibly know everybody's situation. There can be nothing more humiliating or degrading than having to use food stamps to feed your family through no fault of your own.

Try walking a mile in someone else's shoes before you sit up there on your high horse.

Very true. My SIL was on WIC for awhile. She was a single mom who got her and her son out of a very horrible situation. She moved out own her own, got a job, a car and a mobile home. She needed a little help. Sometimes the people who need the help are the strongest people you know.

 

[L107ANGEL]

I was raised under very fortunate circumstances and like so many others, I used to make snap judgements when I saw the WIC checks exchange hands when shopping. I'll admit, some of those judgements weren't particularly nice, if not downright nasty. "Why am I working so hard to put food on the table when they don't have to do a damn thing?" "How dare they buy THAT with my hard earned tax dollars?"

Then, due to personal reasons, I had a change of heart in my career goals and moved into the non-profit sector. I worked for a few years at a food rescue charity where we collected food that would otherwise go to waste, insure that it follows standard food safety guidelines, and deliver it to those that could benefit from it, i.e. homeless shelters, food pantries, soup kitchens, etc... Now I work for a charity that provides direct service to homeless men and women.

This whole process has been nothing but eye opening. I thank God every day for giving me the opportunity to do something and learn something and not place others in such harsh light due to my lack of knowledge. I have heard so many heart breaking stories, from teen prostitution, to horrifying levels of domestic abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism and on and on. Not a day goes by that I don't think there but for the grace of God go I. Sure, it sounds like a cliche, but it's true.

This week, April 23-29, is National Volunteer Appreciation Week. Now is as good a time as any in putting the energy you invest into your frustration with "the system" and give back to your community. Register as a volunteer in your neighborhood, town or city. There are so many jobs out there that need people who are willing to make a difference. Rather than getting pissed off, go out and do something.

It's not difficult to find the time. There are plenty of virtual volunteer opportunities that allow you to do work from home. There are facilities that operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can run canned food drives in your own neighborhood. If you put a little effort, you'll find something that fits your availability.

For those that live in NYC, you can bet I guarantee you that I'll find you something that you can do at our own organization!

Excellent post Rick!

 

[chobie]

Hmm, and here I was wondering what to do with myself today. I know, I'll head over to the grocery store and make judgements about people who use food stamps!!! And even though I don't know them or know what their circumstances are, and even though I'm supposed to be...hmmm, what was that word?...charitable to my fellow man (those pesky religious beliefs certainly do get in my way sometimes!) I'll feel perfectly justified trashing strangers who are poor!!! Yeah! That'll be a lot mor fun thatn doing laundry today!!!!

This thread makes me sick...

ITA. Well said. People should worry about the planks in their own eyes rather then the speck of sawdust in their neighbors.

 

[DisDarling]

Wow, thats so sad! The parents should know better, soda is not life. I wish they would get rid of the Evil Soda all together, my butt and sugar levels would gladly thank thee!!
D.D.

 

[Madi100]

Back on page one or two or whatever it was, I posted about the "bad" experiences I've had working in a grocery store. Now, I'll tell you the good. I remember a couple that came in every month and bought over $400 worth of groceries. They filled up at least 4 carts, and they bought a lot of pasta, a lot of canned goods, and they could make that $400 go further than most of us could make $100 go. I've seen people come in with their calculators and a list and they stick to that list.

This thread wasn't started to talk about the charity of people. It was to mention how ignorant people can be with their "welfare". I think it makes so many of us mad, because we pay for it. Food stamps/WIC should not be a way of life. It should be a helping hand. The only permanent people that shoudl be allowed to be on public assistance are disabled.

Unfortunately, it is easy to judge the people who use the food stamp cards. But, you can usually tell the people who are not proud to be on public assistance. You can usually spot the women who have been left or are down on their luck and aren't taking advantage. There is just a difference in attitude. I realize that is a generalization and not going to be true for everyone, but there is a difference. And, unfortunately, I think the easiest to judge are the ones with mental disabilities that we can't see. And, even sadder, I think a lot of those are men who are our veterans, and we should gladly pay for their groceries every week.

And, for the record, I have paid for people's food before. My DH is the manager at a grocery store. He has paid for people's food before. He gives away more of our money than he should. He trusts that people will pay him back and most people do. I also know that if one of his checkers ever embarrassed anyone by announcing that the customer is on food stamps, it would not be ignored.

 

[Madi100]

I think that WIC is a wonderful program. It is for pregnant women, nursing mothers, infants, and children up to the age of six. At least those are our guidelines in this state. I love that they are given a HEALTHY list of things that they can receive on them. They are staples. WIC makes a specific list of items that can be purchases, and they are very strict. They have people come in from the WIC offices and do stings. So, if someone tries to buy Lucky Charms off the cereal list and the checker sells it to them, the store can get in trouble. If they have enough "offenses" the WIC offices won't let that store take WIC checks. I think it's a great program, but as a high school checker I hated taking those checks. There were a lot of rules for me to follow, and if I messed up, then WIC didn't have to pay our store. You've got to have the right date, the right signatures, the right brands (Rice Krispies are not on WIC, but store brand of Rice Krispies are), the right ounces, and the right price.

WIC is a wonderful program, and I wish they could somehow make food stamps more like that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why are we discussing food stamps--didn't they use cash to buy the soda??

 

[Christine]

Why are we discussing food stamps--didn't they use cash to buy the soda??

Because, apparently, they didn't have "enough" of whatever to buy food for their child, yet there was enough "cash" for soda. I guess they didn't want to use their cash for food. Or as others have pointed out, they were probably buying the soda for "someone else."

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Because, apparently, they didn't have "enough" of whatever to buy food for their child, yet there was enough "cash" for soda. I guess they didn't want to use their cash for food. Or as others have pointed out, they were probably buying the soda for "someone else."

I understand that.

Very easy how some have judged those who have an opinion on ONE incident as a blanket opinion on the entire welfare system.


If the lady hadn't made a scene--there would have been no post today.


Attitude is everything and if you don't wish to be judged--don't act like you own the place and have a bad attitude during the experience.

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

Just passing on some information - not getting into the debate.


Where I live, WIC prints checks for the participants, these checks list exactly what the person can purchase with them (usually it is milk, cereal, and cheese or formula for babies - the food they get is based on their nutritional need). They cannot be altered to change what is bought - unless they are striking out an item that they didn't receive.

In our state WIC is available to people at 185% of poverty level - based on income and family size - AND a medical need (anemia, underweight, severely overweight, history of low birth weight babies, and many others but they are medically measurable). The participants also get nutritional education classes so they are taught about healthy foods but old habits are hard to break.
Stores are checked to be sure they follow the guidelines - WIC approved foods must be marked on the shelves, clerks must check the id of the person using them, there are even checks that happen after the bank gets it - but I won't go into all that here.

As for EBT (Electronic Benefits Transfer) cards - in some areas of the country, more than food stamps are put on ebt cards. In some areas WIC, Food Stamps, TANF, SSI, Child Support, and other things are transfered to the EBT account for ease of use by recipients.

Also, where I live, foster parents get foodstamps to help with grocery needs of the children they are fostering - which helps a lot because the foster care funds received by these people are very small. Just because someone is using an EBT card or foodstamps doesn't mean they don't have a job and aren't trying to make ends meet.

All that said, There are people who abuse the system. As much as I would like to say that isn't so, it is. Unfortunately, they give people the impression that all people who need assistance are abusing the system. We realize that they aren't but it is hard to get over the few incidences we see.

 

[goofygirl]

I was ready to check out and the family in front of me had put their juice, milk, eggs, cheese, and other good foods on the belt. They also had 3 12-packs of pop. It was a family of a 20-ish mom & dad, plus a cute little toddler girl.

When they began to check out, the cashier told them that their WIC coupons were not valid. After a quick conversation, they put back all but one carton of milk, a package of ham, and the 3 12-packs of pop. The mom was quite vocal about not being able to feed her daughter because the WIC coupons were not written properly but they used what little money they had to buy pop. They even talked about not having any food at home. The eggs, cheese, juice, more milk, etc.... want back on the grocery shelves.

So sad and so disgusting. The money for the pop could have been used for some good food.

If they had gotten free birth control they wouldn't be in line worrying about WIC coupons. To quote one of my favorite bumper stickers:" If you can't feed it, don't breed it!"

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thanks for that info RealMickeysgirl!

 

[Nancy]

I think that WIC is a wonderful program. It is for pregnant women, nursing mothers, infants, and children up to the age of six. At least those are our guidelines in this state. I love that they are given a HEALTHY list of things that they can receive on them. They are staples. WIC makes a specific list of items that can be purchases, and they are very strict. They have people come in from the WIC offices and do stings. So, if someone tries to buy Lucky Charms off the cereal list and the checker sells it to them, the store can get in trouble. If they have enough "offenses" the WIC offices won't let that store take WIC checks. I think it's a great program, but as a high school checker I hated taking those checks. There were a lot of rules for me to follow, and if I messed up, then WIC didn't have to pay our store. You've got to have the right date, the right signatures, the right brands (Rice Krispies are not on WIC, but store brand of Rice Krispies are), the right ounces, and the right price.

WIC is a wonderful program, and I wish they could somehow make food stamps more like that.

You are right, WIC is a wonderful program...and it is restricted and for a limited number of years (NY has children up to age 5) It is not set up to buy all your food, it is set up to supplement your food budget. Some on the foodstamp program also get WIC, but since the WIC income guidelines are higher, you will see more people on WIC. I am really curious though just what made those WIC checks invalid. There are so many things that could invalidate them. (dates, not having the id card, pre-signing it, incorrect items, etc) In our store we don't even let the cashiers handle WIC, it has to be done by a manager because of all the regulations.

 

[bananiem]

If they had gotten free birth control they wouldn't be in line worrying about WIC coupons. To quote one of my favorite bumper stickers:" If you can't feed it, don't breed it!"

And what about the parents that could afford to feed their children when they had them but due to the #1 employer (where both parents worked) in town burns to the ground. A town of a population of 17,000 and where there aren't a lot of jobs, but if they stay there the former employer will pay for them to get some schooling. Happened in the town we used to live in.
Have some compassion. It might heal your heart.

 

[SillyMe]

If they had gotten free birth control they wouldn't be in line worrying about WIC coupons. To quote one of my favorite bumper stickers:" If you can't feed it, don't breed it!"

That is the type of ignorance that ticks me off. How can people be so judgmental and ASSUME things? Maybe one of them lost their job. You have no idea why they are receiving assistance, yet you're so quick to judge.

 

[MeanLaureen]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but *sigh*

First off, this is only in reference to the OP's story, not the use of WIC or foodstamps in general. I'm only speaking of this particular incident.

In my experience in retail, which is over 20 yrs, I've come to learn that the people that raise the biggest stink quickly after being told that something they wanted to do was not possible, is trying to pull something. Once again, this is just my experience.

My gut reaction from this story, from the stink the mother raised about not being able to feed her child, to the cash readily paid out for the soda screams to me that either the WIC wasn't hers - whether it was stolen, sold, found, etc and she knew is wasn't valid or if it was hers, she knew darn well they were not valid. An immediate reaction to cause a fuss that your child won't be eating requires prethought that you will not be getting what you are attempting.

Truthfully? My guess is the child has food at home to eat. They aren't going home to an empty cabinet with 36 cans of Pepsi to fill it.

Once again, this is just my first impression I received reading the story.

As far as WIC and Foodstamps are concerned, it's like any other government program out there put into place to help those in troubled times, from unemployment to tax relief to medicaid. It is a Godsend to those that need it and it's absolutely in theory needed (whether it's needed in the current form it's in without some tweaking is another story) BUT, it's also going to have that percentage of low lifes that abuse it because they are too lazy to earn their keep and think the world owes them a living. How we remedy this, I don't know As soon as you find a way to close a loophole they find another. What is the saying.. as soon as you make it idiotproof they build a better idiot?

But you have to look at the facts that the benefits and goods outweigh the scammers and crooks for now, and until an answer is found to absolutely stop those with the mindset that free money is good money... we need to continue with these programs.

 

[bananiem]

I think Lauri probably hit it square on the thumb.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think Lauri probably hit it square on the thumb.

ITA!

Well articulated, Lauri!