Disgusting situation at the grocery store today

[Jennasis]

Many people are humiliated at the thought of having to be on foodstamps/WIC. It wouldn't surprise me to see someone on those programs buying the same "junk" that I buy. They try to maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives by buying the same food they were able to buy before being forced (for whatever reason) into an assistance program.

Walk a mile people.

I remember when I was a kid I used to look at what other people had in their grocery carts at the supermarket and was often shocked or disgusted by it. Now I realize that everybody has different tastes and needs, and I don't judge them. I certainly don't judge those on assistance (or with cash in hand) for buying things I either wouldn't or don't think they "need". For all you guys know, that guy in front of you buying the 6 pack of beer could be spending his last couple of bucks on that when his kids are at home with nothing to eat.

I really am trying very hard lately to mind my own business...and it is tough sometimes (just check out my thread about couples who don't speak at dinner! It's hard not to judge!)

 

[SillyMe]

Surprise, surprise. Look at all the judgemental people on this thread. Congratulations to all who have never had to be humiliated by purchasing food with food stamps or WIC. So glad to see you think you're above those poor uneducated irresponsible cheating lowlifes.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have no idea about these people's situation...and I wasn't there. But I thought maybe a reason that they just bought the pop with the money they had is because they were going to go back to the WIC office to get coupons to replace the invalid ones? Maybe since they just found out their vouchers were invalid, they thought they would go and inquire at the office (or call) to get replacements??? Maybe they knew they had to wait until the next day...So might as well buy the pop while they were there? I don't know, just thinking it might be a different scenario.

If you can't afford to purchase food without the assistance of the government, and you have a child, then the food you purchase should be healthy and have nutritional value for the child. I don't think soda generally falls into either of those categories.

If their food stamps were invalid, then correct that problem and then come back to the store.

I have no problem with people needing and using government assistance when they have fallen on hard times. I do have a problem with people misusing government assistance.

And yes, my best friend needed to use food stamps for a period of time in her young life, when she was 19 years old with a new baby. And she wasn't buying soda with them. She was buying the important things that she and her child needed to stay healthy. Other friends and relatives (myself included) tended to buy her some "treat" items on occasion, but her food stamps shopping was done to the letter of the law. She was grateful that the government provided this for when she needed it, she busted her butt working and going to school, and within 2 years was self-supporting and off all government assistance. It was a proud day for her, and she continues to be successful to this day.

So it can be done, if someone has the wherewithal to do it.

 

[VSL]

I think that what everyone is worked up about is the fact that this woman was complaining loudly about not being able to feed her kids while buying 3 12-packs of soda - not the fact that she is on stamps/WIC/whatever.

Heck, I couldn't care less if you're paying with cash/card/stamps/etc., but don't complain about not being able to feed your kids while handing over the money for 36 bottles of fizzy drink.

 

[mickeyfan2]

If you can't afford to purchase food without the assistance of the government, and you have a child, then the food you purchase should be healthy and have nutritional value for the child. I don't think soda generally falls into either of those categories.

If their food stamps were invalid, then correct that problem and then come back to the store.

I have no problem with people needing and using government assistance when they have fallen on hard times. I do have a problem with people misusing government assistance.

And yes, my best friend needed to use food stamps for a period of time in her young life, when she was 19 years old with a new baby. And she wasn't buying soda with them. She was buying the important things that she and her child needed to stay healthy. Other friends and relatives (myself included) tended to buy her some "treat" items on occasion, but her food stamps shopping was done to the letter of the law. She was grateful that the government provided this for when she needed it, she busted her butt working and going to school, and within 2 years was self-supporting and off all government assistance. It was a proud day for her, and she continues to be successful to this day.

So it can be done, if someone has the wherewithal to do it.

Your friend is a great example of what the system is suppose to be used for. Welfare/WIC/food stamps are to be a cushion for a family to fall on when they are hit with hard times. They are not a way of life or a system to be used and abused.

 

[Evil Queen]

Next week I am going to have to apply for Food Stamps and Medicaid. I don't think of it as a handout, but a helping hand.

I have an appointment today to help with job placement and possible further education. I was laid off over a month ago (after 9 years with this company), my severance pay ends in a week, my insurance in a month and I cannot find a job that is in my field.

I have worked and paid taxes since I was 15 years old, and only one other time had to apply for a "helping hand" (not including emergency food stamps after the hurricane last year).

Do I want to? No, been there done that, but I have to. My kid has to eat, and I'm quite fond of electric and water so Iwill take the unemployment checks too.

 

[SillyMe]

Personally, I think they should set up some sort of classes for people who receive food stamps and even cash assistance. Classes to teach them how to budget their money. Classes to teach them about nutritional foods and how to get the best and most groceries out of their food stamps.

 

[Jennasis]

VSL (et al): NOBODY KNOWS what that soda was for or where the couple got the money to pay for it. Again, for all you or the OP or anyone knows, they were given money to buy the soda for a party or for someone else. YOU DON'T KNOW THEIR SITUATION.

I know there are people who abuse the system (people abuse Disney's mug system, pools, dining plan too). In the OP's case, we just don't know what the couples sitaution was. Since they DID have milk, eggs, cheese etc originally and had to put it back due to invalid WIC coupons, I'm guessing they were intending to buy good food for their kid and the soda was for something/someone else who might have given them the money for it. Again, it's just a guess/assumption (like EVERYONE ELSE is making about this couple), but in this case I prefer to give people them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Poohbear123]

Okay--in Florida--no prepared items. I guess our food stamp program has its positives.

Thats correct, NO cooked food of any kind is allowed. A woman last night, wanted to know why after her food stamp total, SHE had to pay 6.00 and change? I told her, because of the Deli Chicken.....she said take it off the bill, I did, and her Son said: "Whats for dinner Mommy?" She said: "You got stuff at home!" Yea, maybe he can have a fudgicle or POP tart for dinner, which is what she bought the MOST of!

 

[Disney Doll]

It's still none of your business, or anyone else's, either. What in the world gives people the right to feel they can make these kind of judgements?? I'd be ashamed of myself. Oh, and I'd have bought them their groceries, too. Want to tell me how I'm getting ripped off? Don't care - it would have been the right thing to do.

Well, in my area you'd be spending an awful lot of money on other people's groceries if you bought them for them every time someone made a scene about not being able to buy some totally inappropraite thing with their food stamps.

Sorry, 3 12 packs of soda are not "necessary" food items.

Again, I have no problem helping people, but I don't like being taken advantage of. Yes, it has happened, numerous times in the past. And yes I still help people, because ultimately that is the right thing to do. But it doesn't mean that I like being taken advantage of.

 

[reddixie]

Mickeysfan that is really an overstatement. My mom and dad are currently on foodstamps and have worked 2 jobs most of their lives. They didn't live beyond their means and never had credit. They paid less for their mortgage payments than if they had rented. Dad was put out of work by the VA because he served in Nam and has a condition that it seems alot of Nam Vets are coming down with. Mom has heart problems and cancer. Both are out of work first time ever. So you should watch that judgemental attitude because it will come back and bite you.

 

[VSL]

VSL (et al): NOBODY KNOWS what that soda was for or where the couple got the money to pay for it. Again, for all you or the OP or anyone knows, they were given money to buy the soda for a party or for someone else. YOU DON'T KNOW THEIR SITUATION.

I know there are people who abuse the system (people abuse Disney's mug system, pools, dining plan too). In the OP's case, we just don't know what the couples sitaution was. Since they DID have milk, eggs, cheese etc originally and had to put it back due to invalid WIC coupons, I'm guessing they were intending to buy good food for their kid and the soda was for something/someone else who might have given them the money for it. Again, it's just a guess/assumption (like EVERYONE ELSE is making about this couple), but in this case I prefer to give people them the benefit of the doubt.

Yep, you may be right. No need to shout.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think this is part of the problem. Here, my neighbor- mom, 2 girls age 6 & 9 get just over $400 a month in food stamps- I know this because she told me. Feeding 3 people on 400 a month. However, she is only feeding the 3 of them dinner 7 nights a week, and breakfast and lunch on 2, I know this because her children receive free breakfast and lunch at school. $400 for 7 dinners, 2 breakfasts and 2 lunches- plus snacks, she generally has $ left over at the end of the month.

Part of the problem, is that a lot of people who receive public assistance, don't have the knowledge, to make the educated choices of buying healthier foods. And, to add to that, if you were to buy 100% good for you food, your food bill would be a lot higher than if you bought frozen- less healthy foods.

Take a walk over to the budget board- there are posts regarding grocery bills, and more often than not, when people make the switch to healthier, fresh foods- they have an increase in their grocery bills. It's cheaper to buy frozen vegetables or canned vegetables than it is to buy fresh ones.

Their is also the possiblity that they are not equiped to prepare fresh foods. Cooking a can of corn, is a lot easier than cooking fresh green beans- face it- its a fact of life. Their are quite a few people on public assistance that are under-educated.

The thing that really irriates me is people who assume because someone is on public assistance they are abusing the situation- yes I know plenty who do- and it pisses me off, however I also know plenty that don't- that are trying to make their lives better, that are on assistance due to events they had litte to do with, and even littler control over.

When I was 3 and my parents divorced- my mom went to college. We lived on campus at Keene State, in family housing. My dad paid $15 a week in child support- when he paid...my mom went on 'welfare' as it was called at that time. She maxed out her student loans, applied for every grant that was available (not much back in the early 80's) and relied on the food stamps to feed my brother and I. She didnt abuse the system, and upon graduation and getting a full time job- she went off all assistance. While in school- full time, she also worked part time as a waitress to supplement what she got. The program worked as it was intended for. She didnt want to be divorced but life with an alcoholic isnt all its cracked up to be....she made the choice to go back to school, and took advantage of what was available to her. The system can and does work (for some)

Brandy

Please congratulate your mother for me on her resourcefulness and and hard work. The situation you describe is exactly what government assistance is supposed to be for.

I will point out that the difference between your family's situation and the situations of many of the folks I have encountered who receive government benefits is that many of them have every intention of receiving government benefits for the rest of their life.

I am a nurse in an urban hospital which also takes care of surrounding suburban towns. Believe me, the abuse of government assistance, whether it be welfare, food stamps, Medicaid or whatever, is amazing. And, before you all jump down my throats, it is not only abused by those who live in the more urban areas...many of the suburbanites abuse the system just as much!!! We recently had a news story where a couple who lived in a $750K house in a well-to-do surburb had scammed the food stamp and welfare offices for years!!! They each had huge incomes, and were receiving both welfare checks and food stamps. When they got caught, they were ordered to pay restitution, I think there was jail time involved as well.

It's easy to say "feel sorry for someone" when you don't see able-bodied men hanging on street corners all day because they are "too good" to work at a grocery store or at McDonald's or somewhere else, but have no problem receiving a welfare handout. It's easy to feel sorry for someone when you don't hear them say to you, in a mocking tone of voice, "you just keep workiing so I don't have to". It's easy to feel sorry for someone when you don't see them sending their kids into the small kitchen on your nursing unit to steal all the juice, milk and applesauce in the fridge to take home, and you have an administration that wants to be "customer friendly" so we don't lock the fridge, but when it comes time to give your elderly mother her pills which she cannot swallow without applesauce, there is none.

I doubt any of us would be so willing to walk a mile anywhere when it becomes our loved ones who are negatively affected by someone else's bad behavior.

 

[Disney Doll]

Next week I am going to have to apply for Food Stamps and Medicaid. I don't think of it as a handout, but a helping hand.

I have an appointment today to help with job placement and possible further education. I was laid off over a month ago (after 9 years with this company), my severance pay ends in a week, my insurance in a month and I cannot find a job that is in my field.

I have worked and paid taxes since I was 15 years old, and only one other time had to apply for a "helping hand" (not including emergency food stamps after the hurricane last year).

Do I want to? No, been there done that, but I have to. My kid has to eat, and I'm quite fond of electric and water so Iwill take the unemployment checks too.

Help during hard times is different than making it a way of life.

 

[SillyMe]

That is being judgemental...assuming that most people on the system are abusing it or making it a way of life. People see someone using food stamps or receiving WIC and they automatically judge that person as someone who is abusing the system or too lazy to work. That is just wrong. You have no idea if that person is really using the system as it's meant to be used.

 

[mickeysgal]

And we wonder why some of these people are in this position!? They showed poor judgement here and do in other aspects of their lives.

When I was in college my DF and I went to the laundrymat to wash his sleeping bag and the large washer next to us was running. The water was black. I have never seen anything like it. I thought, well atleast they are washing it. But to my horror I realized it was the rinse cycle. The family came back and put it in the dryer. They had a 1 year old girl whose pink jacket was grey and food stained. My heart just broke. We also learned not to got to the grocery store after the 1st of the month. Back then all Gov't checks arrived then.

I don't follow this. This family probably didn't have the cash to wash their clothes regularly. What does this have to do with poor judgement in other aspects of their lives?

 

[mickeyfan2]

Mickeysfan that is really an overstatement. My mom and dad are currently on foodstamps and have worked 2 jobs most of their lives. They didn't live beyond their means and never had credit. They paid less for their mortgage payments than if they had rented. Dad was put out of work by the VA because he served in Nam and has a condition that it seems alot of Nam Vets are coming down with. Mom has heart problems and cancer. Both are out of work first time ever.

What overstatement?

So you should watch that judgemental attitude because it will come back and bite you.

Thank you for the none judgemental comment!
Really you have no need to worry about my future. Whatever it holds for me I will deal with.

 

[MidNite]

You do realize that WIC isn't a government "handout" right?

I was on WIC with both of my kids when I was working as a manager in a bookstore. Ironic that a cashier who probably made less than me, in a lower position than me would treat me like trash under her feet every time I used those checks.

You can't possibly know everybody's situation. There can be nothing more humiliating or degrading than having to use food stamps to feed your family through no fault of your own.

Try walking a mile in someone else's shoes before you sit up there on your high horse.

ITA

 

[mickeysgal]

I was trying to pay for something at Walgreens and the machine didn't work when I swiped my debit card. The cashier said, "Is that an EBT card? That thing hasn't been working all day." The two people in line behind me started sighing loudly and making hissing noises. I said, "No, just a regular debit card." They all shut up immediately. For a few seconds, I was able to walk in another woman's shoes.

Thats terrible. What a society we live in when we are so very quick to rush to judgment based on a snapshot few seconds of someone's life. Those that snap to judgment now will not be able to see that there is potentially another side of what they're seeing until it happens to them or another member of their family that they love. Then its another story. Then they'll be so very quick to explain their own personal circumstances. Funny how the view changes when you're living it. Shame on them.

I have to wonder what looks better, the family that had a job loss or other personal circumstance that has set them back and has caused them to use WIC or food stamps or the family driving new cars, dresses well, has a mcmansion with no furniture filling the rooms and is so maxed out on credit cards maintaining their lifestyle that effectively they're as poor as the other family on WIC.

 

[SillyMe]

Thats terrible. What a society we live in when we are so very quick to rush to judgment based on a snapshot few seconds of someone's life. Those that snap to judgment now will not be able to see that there is potentially another side of what they're seeing until it happens to them or another member of their family that they love. Then its another story. Then they'll be so very quick to explain their own personal circumstances. Funny how the view changes when you're living it. Shame on them.

I have to wonder what looks better, the family that had a job loss or other personal circumstance that has set them back and has caused them to use WIC or food stamps or the family driving new cars, dresses well, has a mcmansion with no furniture filling the rooms and is so maxed out on credit cards maintaining their lifestyle that effectively they're as poor as the other family on WIC.

Just imagine if that family in the mcmansion lost their job and house, but still had their new car, which they were upside down on their loan, so they can't trade it in...then they have to turn to food stamps and WIC all while driving that new car they are stuck with. Can you imagine how they would be judged?