Did you change your last name when you got married?

[lspst8]

I've been married just over 4 months, and I haven't changed my name. I don't really want to change it. I really like my current last name that I have had for 30 years. My husband doesn't seem to mind too much, but he did say that when we have kids, he would like them to have his last name. I keep suggesting that we just combine our last names into a new name, but he doesn't like that idea.

Just wanted to see what other people have done. If you didn't change your name, what last name did you give your children? If you did change your name, was it an easy choice to make?

 

[Angelhalo]

I changed my last name and I love my new last name just as much as my old one, if not more because it symbolizes the commitment I made to my husband. I can't imagine not having changed it. It was a supremely easy decision. (I enjoy such old fashioned notions of devotion)

 

[jodifla]

I've been married just over 4 months, and I haven't changed my name. I don't really want to change it. I really like my current last name that I have had for 30 years. My husband doesn't seem to mind too much, but he did say that when we have kids, he would like them to have his last name. I keep suggesting that we just combine our last names into a new name, but he doesn't like that idea.

Just wanted to see what other people have done. If you didn't change your name, what last name did you give your children? If you did change your name, was it an easy choice to make?

We've been married almost 22 years. Did not change my name. VERY HAPPY I kept it -- it's a highly unusual name. DH was glad I kept it as well...he thinks it's terribly old-fashioned for women to change their names.

When DS was born, I gave him my unusual last name as his middle name. No hyphens, just a middle name. This is great...his name is wonderful, but there are lots of them in the country. So putting my name as his middle name distinguishes him from all the others. He's now one of a kind.

 

[jodifla]

One other note....I have several friends who've been divorced. It's then you see the true flaw of changing your name....

 

[SaraJayne]

After much deliberation on my part, I did change my name legally to my DH's.

There are only girls in my family (all of my cousins on my Dad's side are girls) so there was no one to "carry on the name". DH said it was my decision and it didn't matter to him either way. I would have added his name behind mine, but not hyphenated. I will still occasionally write my name that way, though not on legally binding papers.

My sister and her DH combined their two last names to make a new one. Her DH changed his name when they got married, too. Their DD has the hyphenated last name.

I think it's an individual decision and something each person has to make for themselves. Don't let your DH make the decision for you.

 

[XYSRUS]

Never changed my name-it's been 15 years and 4 kids. The boys have their father's last name. They think it's kind of cool. Do whatever you want to do-either way.

 

[golfgal]

I did. I don't see what the issue is about changing your name. Making up a new name for your family is silly, I think. It sure is a LOT easier when you have kids if everyone has the same last name. Keep in mind that you will probably have your "new" name longer then you had your maiden name.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I changed my name. I never considered keeping my name.

I will add that my father changed his name legally, before he was married, to a generic name that means nothing so keeping that name meant nothing to me.

 

[MickeysMommy]

One other note....I have several friends who've been divorced. It's then you see the true flaw of changing your name....

It's a total pain in the neck to change your name back to your maiden name...I changed my name when I got married and regretted it the moment I did it. I am an only child and my Dad had no brothers or sisters so I am it. The moment I got divorced I changed it back. No kidding, he brought me a copy of the divorce papers on a Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I was at DMV changing my name back.

If I were to get married again, I would not change my name. I feel it's a bit of an honor to my Dad. (But, that's just me )

 

[minkydog]

when I got married in the 70s I wanted to keep my last name but the state of Alabama at that time required women to take their husband's last name. I was young and not interested in pursuing it through the court system, so I took DHs name. In the end it has worked out well. Our last name is distinctively Greek, so some people have a hard time saying and spelling it. But they never forget it! Both of my kids are in theater so a rather dramatic-sounding last name has been a big plus for them.

 

[Rora]

I will be changing my name when I get married in April. It was a pretty easy decision to make as he and I are going to start our OWN family. While of course I'm still part of my parents' family, it's going to be time for me to move on.

 

[stashbin]

I changed my name...

 

[MIGrandma]

I am in the old-fashioned camp. I never even thought about not changing my name when DH and I got married back in 1975.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I had discussed with my DH keeping my maiden name before I got married, and he was OK with it (slightly NOT ok), but I think I got so caught up in wedding plans that I just couldn't get it straight in my head at the time. I also didn't want to deal with his parents (or mine), who wouldn't be happy about it, but would have had to go along with it if that's what I chose.

I did change my name, and I regret it. It's not a HUGE deal to me that I did, but I still think every so often that I'll change it back, or change it to my mother's maiden name. I'm 100% Italian, and I now have (a very lovely) WASPy name. Yeah, I love my husband just like all the other people who are going to come on the thread who took their DH's name (I've seen this thread before over the years...I started one once). But there's a certain sense of my identity that I feel I lost.

I haven't, and probably never would, change it at this point (I'm 51, married 25 years)...I just don't want to make the effort to then go and change every document. But I have told my daughters that I wish I hadn't, and that they don't have to (but it's fine with me if they do) change theirs...just to think about what they really want to do, and do it.

Had I not changed my name, we would have given the kids my DH's last name. Hyphenated names work well if they're short...my maiden name and married name are both 10 letters long.

Back when I got married, it wasn't as common to keep one's maiden name. Now, I'd go for it.

My DD had a teacher who was married and took her DH's name. Got divorced, took back her maiden name. Married again...took that DH's name. If I ever got divorced (don't see it happening ), I'd take my maiden name back and stick with it!

Good luck with your decision.

 

[jx3smom]

I changed it but use my maiden name as a middle name.

 

[savannahcat]

I did change my name when I got married. I never really thought about not doing it. However, I did drop my given middle name and now use my maiden name there instead. Growing up, I always hated my middle name!

 

[kellyg403]

Nope...I kept mine. But, dh still comments from time to time if I am ever going to do it.

Then again, we are both divorced. It was a PITA to change all my stuff when I got divorced. He has an ex that kept his last name. Just didn't feel right for me.

Kelly

 

[punkin]

Never changed my name; never even considered doing it. I am married 19 years and my girl's have DH's last name (it's much easier to spell.)

 

[diznygirl]

I changed my last name and I love my new last name just as much as my old one, if not more because it symbolizes the commitment I made to my husband. I can't imagine not having changed it. It was a supremely easy decision. (I enjoy such old fashioned notions of devotion)

Call me old-fashioned too.
I wasn't attached to my old name, and love being The Mrs.

 

[allison443]

When I got married 25 years agoI kept my maiden name professionally. So at work I used maiden name but driver's license, bank accounts, credit cards, etc. were all in married name. After about 14 years of marriage I finally changed it on my social security records. If I had to do it over I would have just changed everything at the beginning. Still married, btw.


I was in college/grad school in the 1980s, at that time it seemed like the thing was to keep your maiden name and I knew many women especially professionals who did so, however, it really doesn't seem common anymore. Even most women in my field with established careers under their maiden name are now changing their name when they get married.