Did I miss something? It's now acceptable to have a baby shower for the second baby?

[SnowWitch]

This thread is entertaining. With my first son 16 years ago I was given a shower by family. Two and half years later I had another son most family members didn't even see the need to give a gift for that child.

Now forward to 2005 when we were expecting our surprise daughter, I recieved 2 showers, one at work and one given by friends and family. We are now expecting another child in Dec and several co-workers and friends have commented if we have another girl they wil have a diaper shower.

My mother doesn't see the need kinda like the original poster. But what I think the older generation must consider everything is soooooo expensive now maybe people just want to help out a little. In the 60's and 70's the birth of a child would cost a few hundred bucks...yeah that 1 ultrasound now.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I haven't read all the way through yet, but I wanted to give my opinion.

I had no idea it was tacky to have a shower for baby #2 (or 3, etc). It is a BABY shower, not "This Is Only for the First Baby" shower. It's a celebration for the baby. It doesn't mean you have to buy a new stoller and crib for the new baby just because you are invited. Buy them some diapers and wipes; I'm sure that will be just as appreciated.

I also see nothing wrong with having a big second wedding either. If it makes you happy to have one, then what does it matter? What is the difference between that and having a big blow out vow renewal (or is that unacceptable too?)

If it makes you uncomfortable to attend these events, then don't. But I don't think you should look down on those that are having these.

 

[CJMZ]

I just went a shower last night for my cousins 4th child that she is expecting. She had one for the first child but not the 2nd or 3rd. This child was a "surprise" and she pretty much gave all of her baby things away as her youngest is now 4.
It was a small gathering - 15 people, but I actually enjoyed myself. It was really more of a get together since all of the people my age are still having kids and we really don't get out much, and she got some really nice things - mostly more of the disposable items you go through when the baby is an infant - diapers, wipes, burping clothes, lotions, creams, blankets I was glad to pitch in for the little one.

 

[lclark0621]

Cant a shower, any shower, wedding, baby, whatever...Just be considered a PARTY to celebrate something exciting?!?!

Not everyone sees a shower just to "grab some stuff". Some people just see it as a celebration of a new life, or a new couple, whatever.

People register so others know what to buy, what they need, whatever. It saves an expecting mother, crazy bride to be, the time of returning stuff they already have.

So just take the invite, as an invite to a party. Not everyone is trying to be rude to YOU. Some people just want to celebrate something amazing happening to a dear friend or loved one, so they throw them a party.

 

[suz72]

Just went to one today for a second child...a second boy. She didn't really want to have it but...someone was throwing it for her. Baby showers are fun and I'm glad she had one!

I will also be attending some 3rd baby...showers soon. Sometimes unplanned pregnancies, different gender...can create a need. I think baby showers are just fun.

That being said, I went into labor with DD1 2 months early, was able to stop labor for a week, but she was born on the day of the shower...a double shower with a sister in law (couples shower). The shower went on as planned, without me there...DH took over. And I sat in the hospital on some drugs from the C-section...alone all day.

Needless to say, when I was pregnant with DD2, I refused to have a shower. Superstitious, I guess. So...I love attending other peoples baby showers...2nd, 3rd...I don't care.

 

[jakoky]

To me this is such an odd question i think each baby is very special and a shower is a celebration of that new little life..i cant imagine showing my oldest daughter her shower pics and all that people that camer to see her and then saying to my son and other daughter, i dont have pictures of when everyone came to celebrate u because u were number 2 and 3.....i live in bc,canada and i have 3 children and was given showers for all 3...only very close family and friends...i only have been invited to showers of close friends and family, all showers i definately wanted to be at, no one i knows goes overboard and invites those who they are unsure would want to come...now that i am in my mid 30's(and my kids are almost 15, 12, and 10, most of my friends are also done having kids so i very rarely go to showers anymore but if one of my friends got pregnant with number 3 or 4, i would throw the shower for the new baby, what a great excuse to get together with people and see a new baby...i definately can tell u though that if someone didnt want to be there, i certainly would prefer they stay home
shar

 

[zalansky]

Cant a shower, any shower, wedding, baby, whatever...Just be considered a PARTY to celebrate something exciting?!?!

Not everyone sees a shower just to "grab some stuff". Some people just see it as a celebration of a new life, or a new couple, whatever.

People register so others know what to buy, what they need, whatever. It saves an expecting mother, crazy bride to be, the time of returning stuff they already have.

So just take the invite, as an invite to a party. Not everyone is trying to be rude to YOU. Some people just want to celebrate something amazing happening to a dear friend or loved one, so they throw them a party.

AMEN! My HUSBAND threw me a 2nd shower for our 2nd baby (a girl, our first was a boy and they are 3 years apart) - DH caught wind some people thought is was tacky to have a 2nd shower and so were not going to have one for MY DAUGHTER and he wouldn't have that, so he did it all. If those who thought it was tacky didn't want to come then they shouldn't have. It's about celebrating a new life. I don't get why people are so negative thinking everything is about getting gifts. Lighten up people. Its about celebrating life!

 

[mommyintn]

I totally agree with the original poster. Being a southerner it just isn't done and is considered tacky.

Well I guess TN didn't get the memo I was given a shower for both of my boys who are almost 4 years apart. It wasn't a big deal to me but my friends wanted to plan one and I went along for the ride. It's really a celebration of life and diapers are welcome anytime. I find a lot of the 2nd showers might be themed like a diaper party, which is awesome because those get expensive. To each their own, if you get invited to a 2nd shower just don't go if you think it's tacky or uneccessary.

 

[4greatboys]

ride. It's really a celebration of life and diapers are welcome anytime. I find a lot of the 2nd showers might be themed like a diaper party, which is awesome because those get expensive.

Be careful because if you say something is expensive or you like to receive a gift to some I have seen on this thread it means you havent thought out the financial resposibilities of a child and you cannot afford one.


Maybe Texas didnt get the memo either I was born and raised in the South and its not umcommon around here for someone to have more than one shower. I have always been excited to give my friends a shower and/or gifts for the new baby.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

taterules

oye... Let me start by saying, that I wasn't even able to attned my first baby shower, b/c I was in the hospital. Second, I said in my COMPLETE post that a baby shower is something that you should have to celebrate your pregnancy and your new child 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 10th. Even if noone brought anything but a smile on their face that would be great.
Saying that, alot of people do bring gifts to showers, and all I was saying was that if someone WAS going to bring something, it would be great if we were to get things as though we were doing it for the first time again. SINCE, our kids will be 7 years apart in age. Alot of the "essentials" that we had will be both outdated and or gone/broken. This would just be an added bonus though. I think in all its more about the celebration.
BTW..I just felt the need to respond b/c I don't like when peoples "quotes" are chopped up.

 

[mommyintn]

Be careful because if you say something is expensive or you like to receive a gift to some I have seen on this thread it means you havent thought out the financial resposibilities of a child and you cannot afford one.


Maybe Texas didnt get the memo either I was born and raised in the South and its not umcommon around here for someone to have more than one shower. I have always been excited to give my friends a shower and/or gifts for the new baby.

Thanks for that! Of course, let me preface that by saying we did understand the financial responsibilites of raising a child Of course if you wait till you can afford children (on paper) you will rationalize you never will. I just helped coordinate a babyshower yesterday for a friend from church having #3. They thought they were through and here comes #3 with 7 years between her and the middle child. I love buying baby stuff and I wouldn't do it if I didn't.

 

[Raevyn_Wolfe]

hmmm, I also had no idea that celebrating the birth (or soon to be birth) of a child (any child) would be considered tacky and distasteful, learn something new everyday.

 

[poshspice94]

This is an extremely old thread, but I found it when I Googled wether it was tacky to want a second shower. My daughter is 6 1/2 now and I ddint think I could have another. Through In-Vitro we were able to have another baby, also a girl. I didnt keep anything and my friends didnt either. When I spoke to people about what their thoughts were my husbands friends thought it was tacky and horrible. Im reading this as jealousy perhaps, that my mom wants to throw me one? Some people here thought it was great, others hated it, but I guess its your choice wether to attend right? My two new firends really want me to have one and register since they werent here for the first. I guess writing this makes me feel better about wanting to get nice new things for my daughter that I might otherwise not afford..... thanks for the ear...

 

[ceecee]

I totally agree with the original poster. Being a southerner it just isn't done and is considered tacky.

I'm not from the south, but I totally agree!

 

[worldismine]

I don't think it's tacky at all,, to celebrate the birth of a child? I have 4 children and had 3 showers. one for my first child a girl, but not for my 2nd a boy because I had a lot of stuff,they are only 18 mths apart-but people did bring gifts when they came to visit, i kept the crib highchair etc for 8 yrs hoping for another baby then threw it all away, yes a month later found out I was pregnant, so I was given my 2nd shower, had a girl. 6 yrs later guess what I had a boy and since the boys are 14 yrs apart they gave me another shower. so it all depends on the cercumstances. people shouldn't judge..

 

[StephMK]

This is an extremely old thread, but I found it when I Googled wether it was tacky to want a second shower. My daughter is 6 1/2 now and I ddint think I could have another. Through In-Vitro we were able to have another baby, also a girl. I didnt keep anything and my friends didnt either. When I spoke to people about what their thoughts were my husbands friends thought it was tacky and horrible. Im reading this as jealousy perhaps, that my mom wants to throw me one? Some people here thought it was great, others hated it, but I guess its your choice wether to attend right? My two new firends really want me to have one and register since they werent here for the first. I guess writing this makes me feel better about wanting to get nice new things for my daughter that I might otherwise not afford..... thanks for the ear...

It sounds like you have an extra-special reason to celebrate -congrats!! I think from glancing through this thread, it's really a mixed bunch. I fall into the let's celebrate life, it's a party, gifts are not the point. Let them have the shower & enjoy!! I love showers & buying baby gifts. Those that hate the idea don't need to come. My DDs were 6 yrs apart & DD2 was w/DH, whole new set of friends/co-workers. My 2 friends were pg at the same time so we held them for each other.

Congrats again!!

 

[poshspice94]

It sounds like you have an extra-special reason to celebrate -congrats!! I think from glancing through this thread, it's really a mixed bunch. I fall into the let's celebrate life, it's a party, gifts are not the point. Let them have the shower & enjoy!! I love showers & buying baby gifts. Those that hate the idea don't need to come. My DDs were 6 yrs apart & DD2 was w/DH, whole new set of friends/co-workers. My 2 friends were pg at the same time so we held them for each other.

Congrats again!!

Thank you so much for your thoughts, well wishes, and making me feel better about a secret desire to perhaps enjoying a second shower. I only now got a chance to read 14 pages of this thread and I am floored how some people thought it was the most horrible tacky thing in the world. Bottom line is, if you dont want to go, dont go. Everyone lives their lives diffrently, and nothing made me madder than to read some statments posted along the lines of "well if you want one because you cant afford things, maybe you should re-think your planning to have a child?" HUH? We all can agree to disagree. TACKY? ITS JUST AN OPINION. This thread only proved to me, more than anything, its the excitement of knowing that 4 yeads of treatments and unsucessful IUI's are giving me the joy of motherhood, and the excitement of wanting to give this child everying I could possibly give them. Including my moms excitement to throw me an awesome party to celebrate with family & friends who have no problem showering this baby with GIFTS.... YES I SAID IT PEOPLE!!!THANKS!

 

[abeyst]

Showers (wedding or baby) are to help out the new wife/mother with getting her started. Once you're on your 2nd or 3rd (wedding or baby), you should be far enough along in your life to supply the necessities that are needed for the situation.

People are still going to give the baby things when it's born, they always do. But I think the intention of a shower is being misinterpreted.

I certainly wouldn't see how a 2nd bridal shower for a 2nd marriage (or a 3rd for that matter) would be appropriate. You'd expect the couple to have what they need or buy it themselves.

But, that's just my opinion.

 

[KelsiesMommy]

IMHO, each and every baby is a blessing and should be celebrated-

That being said, if she's asking for all new "big ticket" items that she got the first time around, that's tacky.

I'm all for celebrating a new life!

 

[Vickie46]

Its so normal around here.... most of the time the Mom the 2nd time around is happy with a diaper shower! We do those at church a lot.. it doesn't matter if its the 2nd or 3rd or 4th... each baby is so special!