Did I miss something? It's now acceptable to have a baby shower for the second baby?

[ginna74]

wooooohoooooo that was my 1000 post!!!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Everyone I know follows the 1 shower fort he 1st baby and that's it deal. I wouldn't think of a second one and there are many years between my oldest & youngest.

 

[ProudMomTo3Boys]

I had a shower for my first child. When I had my second about 2 1/2 years later I didn't have one because I had everything. I then got rid of everything thinking I was done, I really thought I was done having kids. Well 6 years later, we decided to have one more. I didn't have another shower because I still didn't need anything. My sister had 2 kids after I had my first 2 and she had everything and then some that I would need.
I did have people give me some gifts after the 3rd was born and it was appreciated, however I never wanted or thought I would have another shower.

 

[ckoncurat]

I just had my SIXTH baby, a boy after five girls, and was thrown TWO huge showers- one by church friends, one by my neighbors. Why is it tacky for people who love you to throw you a party or buy you gifts? I think if anyone feels a shower is tacky, don't go!

 

[Disney_Dreaming]

I understand your point of view.

My sisters are currently pregnant. The oldest of the two has a daughter whose 7 so I think it's ok to give her a baby shower. My other sister is pregnant with her first child. I would love to give them a baby shower together!

 

[Feralpeg]

Maybe we should invent a whole new concept. Forget the baby shower thing. It seems to controversial. Let's invent the Celebration of a New Addition concept! It is not for transitioning the mom. It is for celebrating a new life. Gifts could be optional. Get together with friends and family and celebrate the fact that a new and special individual will soon be here! Of course, those who want to celebrate by giving cute baby gifts certainly could.

I think I'll market this idea. Just think...a whole new line of invites available. Hallmark will probably be contacting me this afternoon!

 

[meandtheguys2]

I've nevere paid any attention to the number of showers people have. I either go or don't. I personally had no need to have showers with the second and third babies. I agree with the idea of celebrating each new arrival, though. And I figure I have dibs on holding the little dears if I showed for a shower... Cheaper than having more of my own.

 

[ginna74]

well anyways.... life shall be cherrished...and be celibrated... it is not tacky to do so.. it is tacky to think baby #5 doesn't have to the right to be loved by all and thrown a party for!

 

[Crankyshank]

Baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, and whatever # baby are pretty much the norm around here for as long as I can remember. I honestly don't see what the big deal it. All babies deserve to be celebrated and if someone has an issue with it on principle then it is within their rights to decline the invite.

 

[Lady V]

why is is rude to have a shower for the second or third or even fourth baby for that matter!! Each baby deserves some new things and maybe the old ones aren't working so well anymore! and if it is the second baby and the kids are close then you know what? that SINGLE stroller is no good anymore because they need a DOUBLE stroller!! If someone wanted to throw me a baby shower I would be honored and if some of my so called 'friends' didn't want to come support me and the baby then I guess they weren't my friend anyway. Guess their good 'manners' couldn't understand that sometimes in the act of friendship you go and support someone you care about. and what i so wrong with people wanting to celebrate each new baby?

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I too think that each child is seperate and you should celebrate each child with a party. (if thats what you do) I was never into the whole "this is where we are registered thing" b/c i think that is tacky. I invite people b/c I want them to come celebrate our upcoming arrival. That said, I am only 25. We are planning to have our second child late next year. I don't expect gifts, but I would like a gathering to celebrate our newest addition. =)
Now, my sister, who is only 3 years younger than me, and her fiance. Are having a baby due in Sept. And they are having 3 HUGE showers, and they are ALL ABOUT THE GIFTS. They actually said...they hope they don't get a bunch of crap they will have ot put in a garage sale a couple years later, or hold onto b/c they will feel guilty getting rid of!!!!!!!I thought that was obscene, and my DH and I were SHOCKED! Really made me rethink how I thought of my sis. BUT that said, I am sure she is not the only one who thinks that. Sad, but true.

 

[branv]

You know, etiquette sometimes can be so arbitrary. I mean, look at the concept of no white after labor day. Is this really offensive in any way? If you really look at it, a shower in general is kind of tacky. When you break it down, it's just a way to get gifts. If it wasn't, if it was just a celebration of a new life (new marriage, etc), then why is it considered in such bad taste to show up without a gift for any type of shower/wedding/party?

So coming in and saying that a second shower is tacky b/c they already have had one doesn't make much sense. It's really no more tacky than the first.

We make up these traditions and rules that may have had some sensible basis, but nowadays often just don't make a lot of sense one way or the other.

Do I go along...sure. Do I make judgements? Yep, I'm just as much a slave to some ideologies as anyone Boy have I been to some weddings and parties where my mouth fell open b/c my social expectations were out of line with the hosts. But, that being said, sometimes it helps to step back and say, "now really, is this worth getting so worked up over?" Who is it really hurting? Maybe you're really worried that if you don't give a gift b/c you don't want to or feel you should, that you will be looked down on and are trying to judge them before they judge you?

Either way, go or don't go. Give a gift or don't give a gift. You think they're tacky, they'll think you're tacky. It's a trade off.

As it is, I do NOT want a shower when I have a baby. I personally feel like I'm hunting for gifts. A party is fine, but I would specify NO GIFTS. But if anyone wants to have one, more power to them. No harm, no foul. I see nothing wrong with it at all.

 

[bellebuzzandpooh]

I don't think it is tacky at all. I only have one child, but I didn't have a shower for myself. I didn't ask anyone to have a shower for me. My friends gave me a shower because they wanted to. I go to showers and give gifts for each child because each child is just as special as the first. Why shouldn't each child start out with new things. Of course, I would check with the mom to see if there are things she already has and doesn't need again.

It amazes me that people see showers as an obligation. It shouldn't be looked upon that way. If you don't want to give a gift, then don't.

I agree completely! I'm so shocked that it's viewed as so tacky to have a second shower! I think EVERY baby deserves to be celebrated. It's a new life and a wonderful gift from God!

But then again, I view the shower as a celebration, not a reason to collect gifts. I was given 3 showers for my first baby, and none for my second. I was so hurt that no one wanted to celebrate that second baby, when I was just as excited about that one as I was the first! I certainly didn't intend to just "collect gifts" but I would've loved for friends and family to surround our family with love for that baby. It didn't happen. In my opinion, that's tacky. A diaper shower, book shower, luncheon, or anything else would have been a wonderful expression of love, in my opinion.

I'd throw a shower for a lady even if she were having her 9th baby! That child is still a little miracle.

 

[poohfriend]

you may always choose not to attend a shower..or to give a gift...but let's celebrate this new life. Every baby deserves to be celebrated...even if she is the last of 6 girls!

That said, it's not necessary to have elaborate showers or elaborate gifts.

 

[dizkids]

Tacky YES Tacky NO.

I personally say YES to Tacky for mulitple baby showers. But No to the showers of babies who are spaced out for reasons like "the unplanned" happend.

I have friends who have had 3 showers for 1 baby. THe family showers, the friends showers and the showers at work.

One good friend had a 2nd shower at her house....wall to wall people. Hosted by her sister and mother. PLEASE you have to agree that this is tacky after i tell you they had about 75 people in a home made for 25 max. If you were not seated in the family room where all the gifts were you were seated in the living room, laundry room, kitchen or hallways. After all was said and done my friend went on a whirlwind of returns and stocked up about $1700 credit with Babies R Us. She had a large registry and recieved about everything on it. Well reality set in and she realized you dont need at least 1/2 that stuff and returned it all. Oh what a headache that must have been 8 months pregnant. Tacky right?

 

[KirstenB]

This is an example of something I would bring to a shower, cheap, easy and in my experience the Mom's who I have brought one too really liked them.

Included are the following...Green Fleece blanket, Heart to Heart Bear, Boy Washclothes, and a few Johnson and Johnson bath products. The baskets I got at Walmart for a few $'s and made them nicer with lace w/ blue ribbon run through it super glued on.

You can make this for under $20 or make it much more expensive, etc by adding additional items, full sized products, etc. I went with the baby's room colors for the basket/blankets. You could do one themed to baby's room, needs (medicine, feeding, bottles, bath, etc).

Just a frugal idea for all the baby showers.

That's a gorgeous basket!! I'm always looking for ideas for gifts. Thanks for posting the pix.

 

[lpandorf]

We have 2nd showers for people at work and I think it's nice. The group I work with are all friendly with each other and I think it's a nice way to celebrate and share the joy. For the 2nd baby we do things more like diapers/wipes, clothes if the baby is a different gender, that type of thing. We all pitch in a little bit and order a pizza and pop and buy a cake and have a nice time. On the other hand we don't do the 2nd shower at home. I had one shower for my 1st child, DD now 7 and when DS 3 came along some family members brought a gift when they visited to welcome him. I would not have felt right about a 2nd shower with family/friends at home. The work situation just seems different to me for some reason........

 

[Princess Stitch]

I don't think it's tacky to have a shower for a second or third child. What I DO think is tacky is to register for the second or third shower. I also think it's tacky to read people's comments in this thread saying "well I still need more things!". If you're going to have a second baby, plan for the cost. Celebrating a life is a great thing and a wonderful reason for people to get together.

Now, if you want to talk about tacky.... there's people who have an engagement party, a wedding shower, and bachlor/ette parties which you're expected to bring a gift to PLUS the wedding. Now that's gift-grabbing at its finest!

 

[Zoemakes5]

For those of you who think subsequent showers are tacky, WHO is being tacky?
Showers are thrown by people. Is it those who throw it who are tacky, knowing the expectant mom has another child already?
Or is it the expectant mom who already has another child who has someone thoughtfully request to host a shower? Is that expectant mom supposed to snub the person who has offered to "shower" her and the baby? Is that less tacky? Or is the expectant mom supposed to say, numerous times and with vehemence, "NO, I told you I don't want a shower!?"
Most of the complaints I've heard/seen on this post have to do with poor manners/thoughtlessness in general, not necessarily the fact that it's a second shower. People who are greedy, or self-absorbed or thoughtless, or downright rude. Or, people like moms and grandmoms hosting showers, which is against "shower ettiquette" anyway, not dependant upon second or subsequent showers.
This is an honest question, as I never sought out a second shower and no one has ever asked/approached me for one, but I personally don't feel that I'm tacky for having hosted many for my friends. I personally think it would be much much more tacky refusing such a generous offer from a friend or family member.

 

[teresajoy]

YEAH!!! I love your post!! I get SO MAD when people say you shouldn't have a shower for a second baby. Is the second baby not any more loved that the first?? For heavens sake.

YEAH! I am so glad to see that there are so many people on here that feel the same way I do, about celebrating each child. It's a BABY shower, not a MOM shower!

I just don't get what anyone would be complaining about when they were allready planning on buying a gift for the baby to begin with! A party is FUN! If you aren't about having fun, and being happy for someone stay home, and be confident that your manners are far superior than all those people attending the shower having a wonderful time.