Diabetic nephew and Thanksgiving

[FireDancer]

I really can't understand this philosophy at all.
I'm not reacting out of emotions or anything, none of my kids have any known allergies, nor do I. I really just don't understand how you think your "right" to a PB&J trumps the basic morals that would cause me to find something else to eat so that I don't cause the person next to me to die.
Would you suggest that the allergic child eat in solitary or a hazmat suit while you are happily munching on your Skippy?
Just because someone is a stranger you really can't make a small adjustment to your snack foods on a plane?
I really just can't wrap my brain around that at all!

For me it comes down to my right to eat what I want. I don't want anyone telling me what I should and should not eat. What the reason is matters zero to me. I don't want anyone telling me what to eat, who to worship, what drugs to take, how to think, or anything else. I will extend the same courtesy. If you have such a bad allergy that being around something may kill you that sounds like an issue between you and your immune system.

I do what I want (inside the bounds of the law) and you do what you want (inside the bounds of the law) and we all share the planet. Hugs for everyone.

 

[Jennasis]

For me it comes down to my right to eat what I want. I don't want anyone telling me what I should and should not eat. What the reason is matters zero to me. I don't want anyone telling me what to eat, who to worship, what drugs to take, how to think, or anything else. I will extend the same courtesy. If you have such a bad allergy that being around something may kill you that sounds like an issue between you and your immune system.

I do what I want (inside the bounds of the law) and you do what you want (inside the bounds of the law) and we all share the planet. Hugs for everyone.

I wonder...just playing devil's advocate for a moment...

If you ate a peanut butter sandwich next to someone who said to you they had an allergy, and that person went into anaphylactic shock and died, would/could you be charged with a crime?

Barring that...could you live with the knowledge that you played a hand in their death?

I just wonder.

 

[FireDancer]

I wonder...just playing devil's advocate for a moment...

If you ate a peanut butter sandwich next to someone who said to you they had an allergy, and that person went into anaphylactic shock and died, would/could you be charged with a crime?

Barring that...could you live with the knowledge that you played a hand in their death?

I just wonder.

If they knew they were allergic and didn't move they are kind of dumb. Even on a plane they can ask for a new seat. I would even choose to change seats.

If they were in a situation they absolutely couldn't move and asked me nicely as opposed to told me not to eat it I would probably not eat it. If they told me I couldn't eat it I would be enjoying my snack.

This situation in a place like an office building or a school is not an issue because the people can go eat at different ends of a lunch table or lunch room.

 

[JerseyJanice]

For me it comes down to my right to eat what I want. I don't want anyone telling me what I should and should not eat. What the reason is matters zero to me. I don't want anyone telling me what to eat, who to worship, what drugs to take, how to think, or anything else. I will extend the same courtesy. If you have such a bad allergy that being around something may kill you that sounds like an issue between you and your immune system.

I do what I want (inside the bounds of the law) and you do what you want (inside the bounds of the law) and we all share the planet. Hugs for everyone.

I'm all for live and let live too, but I think it's sad and selfish to think one's right to eat anything they please is more important than protecting the health of a family member.

Frankly, it's one thing for people to demand everyone in a plane not eat peanuts before they board a flight, but it's another matter entirely for a young man to ask his Grandma to prepare a dish he can enjoy as a diabetic.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I wonder...just playing devil's advocate for a moment...

If you ate a peanut butter sandwich next to someone who said to you they had an allergy, and that person went into anaphylactic shock and died, would/could you be charged with a crime?

Barring that...could you live with the knowledge that you played a hand in their death?

I just wonder.

Have you ever seen the people who "breathe fire" at fairgrounds and circuses? I wouldn't sit next to them because I don't want to catch on fire. If I were standing next to them, got caught on fire and died, they wouldn't be responsible for my death. If there were a firebreather on the plane, I'd ask to move my seat.

Same difference.

 

[FireDancer]

I'm all for live and let live too, but I think it's sad and selfish to think one's right to eat anything they please is more important than protecting the health of a family member.

Frankly, it's one thing for people to demand everyone in a plane not eat peanuts before they board a flight, but it's another matter entirely for a young man to ask his Grandma to prepare a dish he can enjoy as a diabetic.

I said the right compromise was for the grandma to made a separate dish, I did so on 3 different occasions. Do people not read the whole thread before commenting?

My first post on this thread:

It sounds like making a small side helping using Splenda is the smart alternative, not making everyone suffer because of one person's ailment.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I can understand where he is coming from. I see a lot of references in this thread to insulin, but we don't know for sure that the nephew is Type 1 or uses insulin. I am 25 and have type II. This means that I have to be very careful about the carbs I eat. I am treating solely on diet and exercise, and can go sky high very easily. So I have to watch my carbs a lot more than somebody who uses insulin and can cover their carbs with a shot.

That being said, I have never asked my family or friends to modify. I do help cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, and my family is pretty relaxed so I just cook some lower carb things. When I go to my boyfriend's house, I just eat whatever he puts in front of me. He's slowly learning.

 

[Jennasis]

Have you ever seen the people who "breathe fire" at fairgrounds and circuses? I wouldn't sit next to them because I don't want to catch on fire. If I were standing next to them, got caught on fire and died, they wouldn't be responsible for my death. If there were a firebreather on the plane, I'd ask to move my seat.

Same difference.

hehehe..if you say so.

 

[LaraK]

You know, I again just have to gasp at the flip nature of some of the responses on here. It's actually quite hurtful when I'm going through the first holiday season since my son lost food. We still cry together as he realizes a new thing he can not eat now.

You have no idea...NO idea what it's like. My son is allergic to Chicken, Turkey, Beef, Peanuts, Tree Nuts, Milk, Eggs, Pears, Peas and Chocolate. He flunked his last endoscopy, so we may still loose soy and wheat. You may wonder what he can eat? Not much. In fact, to get nutrition he drinks a horrible formula that the moms of these kids call "juice vomit". We do not go out to eat...ever. He can not attend birthday parties (unless I bring food for him). He can not have a birthday cake at his own party. He can not eat pizza. He can not go to McDonalds. If you bring in cupcakes to class he will watch your kids eat. He went trick or treating, he can not eat the candy.

Thank God he doesn't stop breathing if he's exposed, instead his body thinks the food is a parasite and releases white blood cells to fight the food, which builds up a layer of cells causing vomiting, severe pain, food impaction, food aversion and other long term, chronic results. I guess we're faking it, even though the malnutrition that he will suffer if we don't aggressively treat his disease will cause his vital organs to begin shutting down.

I have never asked for anyone else to change their eating patterns, just have a little empathy for how much life can SUCK for these kids and adults. I could have. In fact, the school offered to ban all food from home in his classroom. I didn't want to do that because I know in this me me me society the other kids, and more likely their parents, would hate me and my son. Instead he watches your kids eat the good stuff. My five year old has said several times that he just wants to die....hows that for a self-centered kid who only wants to ruin your chance to enjoy your peanut butter.

I know I sound holier than thou sometimes on these allergy/food issue threads, but as I said earlier...this is my life. I live it every day. Food is a four letter word in my house. Mealtimes are agony more than enjoyment. Every day. Every meal. Every time. Next time you mock someone for food allergies or watching their sugar/carb intake because of diabetes, think of that. Our lives are not a joke.

 

[Bluestars]

Lara, that's sad. None of my children had allergies to food, but I definitely have empathy for parents who have to deal with this. Your son's extreme allergies must really take it's toll.

I would have no problem not eating something if the person next to me was allergic. Honestly, a little compassion and mutual respect goes a long way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thank God he doesn't stop breathing if he's exposed, instead his body thinks the food is a parasite and releases white blood cells to fight the food, which builds up a layer of cells causing vomiting, severe pain, food impaction, food aversion and other long term, chronic results. I guess we're faking it, even though the malnutrition that he will suffer if we don't aggressively treat his disease will cause his vital organs to begin shutting down.

I have never asked for anyone else to change their eating patterns, just have a little empathy for how much life can SUCK for these kids and adults. I could have.
.....

Our lives are not a joke.

I don't think anyone is joking about anyone's plight with serious conditions that prohibit certain foods.

There are those out there who are just persnickety, those out there who have side affects due to certain ingredients that are not allergies, and those with serious conditions.

I don't think anyone full out meant harm to anyone with serious life threatening conditions.


The conversation somehow migrated into public accomodations of complete strangers which is completely separate from a family.

And we are getting some peanut thread bleed over (much of the latter comments are comments from that thread that have just been rewritten here).

I believe most have empathy and some other folks are clueless thinking that asking a simple request is tantamount to demanding that everyone change their ways.

 

[Briarmom]

Just want to send hugs out to all the moms (and especially the kids!!) who are dealing with this on a daily basis. I really can't imagine. The only thing we have to avoid (as far as food goes) is Splenda. That's pretty easy to do. I can't imagine having reactions to common things.

The OP said the nephew was in his 30s though, right? Am I missing something? Is he newly diagnosed? I admit to not reading thoroughly.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I didn't think it was possible, but after reading this thread I gotta say that I love and appreciate my family even more than I did when I woke up this morning.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

You know, I again just have to gasp at the flip nature of some of the responses on here. It's actually quite hurtful when I'm going through the first holiday season since my son lost food. We still cry together as he realizes a new thing he can not eat now.

You have no idea...NO idea what it's like. My son is allergic to Chicken, Turkey, Beef, Peanuts, Tree Nuts, Milk, Eggs, Pears, Peas and Chocolate. He flunked his last endoscopy, so we may still loose soy and wheat. You may wonder what he can eat? Not much. In fact, to get nutrition he drinks a horrible formula that the moms of these kids call "juice vomit". We do not go out to eat...ever. He can not attend birthday parties (unless I bring food for him). He can not have a birthday cake at his own party. He can not eat pizza. He can not go to McDonalds. If you bring in cupcakes to class he will watch your kids eat. He went trick or treating, he can not eat the candy.

Thank God he doesn't stop breathing if he's exposed, instead his body thinks the food is a parasite and releases white blood cells to fight the food, which builds up a layer of cells causing vomiting, severe pain, food impaction, food aversion and other long term, chronic results. I guess we're faking it, even though the malnutrition that he will suffer if we don't aggressively treat his disease will cause his vital organs to begin shutting down.

I have never asked for anyone else to change their eating patterns, just have a little empathy for how much life can SUCK for these kids and adults. I could have. In fact, the school offered to ban all food from home in his classroom. I didn't want to do that because I know in this me me me society the other kids, and more likely their parents, would hate me and my son. Instead he watches your kids eat the good stuff. My five year old has said several times that he just wants to die....hows that for a self-centered kid who only wants to ruin your chance to enjoy your peanut butter.

I know I sound holier than thou sometimes on these allergy/food issue threads, but as I said earlier...this is my life. I live it every day. Food is a four letter word in my house. Mealtimes are agony more than enjoyment. Every day. Every meal. Every time. Next time you mock someone for food allergies or watching their sugar/carb intake because of diabetes, think of that. Our lives are not a joke.

I know this is a daily struggle for you and I can't imagine how painful it must be to see your son suffer through this. I hope your son does not lose any more food and that you continue to find new ways to help him thrive through these difficult issues. Strength and prayers to you and yours

 

[tasha99]

If they were in a situation they absolutely couldn't move and asked me nicely as opposed to told me not to eat it I would probably not eat it. If they told me I couldn't eat it I would be enjoying my snack.

So if you're in a place where people can't move, your want to eat a peanut is more important than someone else's need to breathe. And you'll spare them if they have good social skills, but if they're awkward and rude, they can go into shock and die for all you care.

 

[FireDancer]

So if you're in a place where people can't move, your want to eat a peanut is more important than someone else's need to breathe. And you'll spare them if they have good social skills, but if they're awkward and rude, they can go into shock and die for all you care.

Basically, yes. Good motivation to learn good social skills and not be rude.

If you are so allergic than the burden of finding a different seat is on you, not on me. If you absolutely can't, and I think that is very rare (even on a full plane someone would probably switch with you) a little grace and politeness goes a long way.

In the end it just isn't my problem. I have enough of my own, I don't need yours.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

Wow. So much for human compassion and kindness to others.

 

[minkydog]

In our family we have a host of food issues. DH needs low salt. DD16 is vegetarian. DS14 needs everything soft and mushy. I just found out I'm diabetic(T2) ANd I have allergies to cranberries and pineapple. My Thanksgiving menu has had to be adjusted to accomodate all our needs. However, I can still make most of our favorites with a few changes. Instead of making sweet potato casserole, now I bake sweet potatoes and everybody adds their on sugar and butter. I make a lot of vegetables: asparagus, green beans, collards, carrot casserole. My dressing no longer has meat in it, although my gravy does. To satisfy DDs vegetarian needs I make her a separate non-meat gravy. SHe eats eggs, so she's in charge of making devilled eggs. I always have celery sticks w/cheese and olives on the table. I even make homemade cranberry sauce--I just don't eat it or have it touching my food. But I wouldn't think about telling my family "I can't eat this stuff so YOU can't have it either."

 

[Liberty Belle]

Basically, yes. Good motivation to learn good social skills and not be rude.

If you are so allergic than the burden of finding a different seat is on you, not on me. If you absolutely can't, and I think that is very rare (even on a full plane someone would probably switch with you) a little grace and politeness goes a long way.

In the end it just isn't my problem. I have enough of my own, I don't need yours.

Yeah, that'll learn 'im. Maybe in his next life he'll seek out Dale Carnegie before meeting up with you.

I just don't get it. I guess I'm just blessed to be surrounded by compassionate people in my life. When I come across attitudes like this it's just so bizarre to me.

 

[Stacerita]

I guess I don't see what the big deal is. Make the simple change and be done with it. The holiday shouldn't be about the food anyway. It should be about spending time with family and being thankful for what you have. That said, I personally wouldn't ask anyone to make a special dietary request for me. But I wouldn't get all bent that someone else did.