DH left...

[graygables]

My ex molested my then 4yo DD and beat me. He was military and all of my medical records were purged of the broken bones and STDs he had given me before I had a chance to pull them. I had documented most things w/ civilian doctors. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

He still counter-sued me for custody as a way to get to me and it worked. He got off financially a LOT easier b/c I was adamant about protecting my DDs from him. My ex agreed to "limited supervised visitation" and he only took advantage of it the day of the divorce (judge ordered that one...DDs played at McD's and ignored him while my Dad and I sat and stared at him) Do NOT be surprised if the non-caring, abusive creep uses that as a card in your divorce dealings. My DDs and I were SO much better off without him. BTW, it was only when I was able to "let it go" that I met my DH, so don't hold onto bitterness or anger...it lets him continue to control you. Best of luck to you!

 

[Disney Doll]

I honestly don't think he would harm them physically, or, at least I didn't until he spanked her yesterday. But, I do think he could do emotional damage. That's much harder to prove.

I dunno. Having a tape of his voice calling your son "demon spawn" would be pretty convincing to me.

 

[Stitchfans]

So sorry. Hope all goes well. Will keep you in my prayers.

 

[noseybuddy]

Thanks for the hugs. It's been crazy. I know what happened with DD at school today was her acting out. We've been trying to keep it from her, but the kid is really perceptive. So, my first objective is to protect her. DH hasn't been great to her, but never as blatantly abusive as today. She was devastated. Therefore, I was.

Anyone with experience know what happens to the house? I really can't afford it on my own, but hate to have to leave this place. I know it sounds stupid, but I love it here. The kids rooms are done, we have a swingset. I cry every time I think of leaving and having to live in an apartment or something. I know, it's the trees and not the forest, but all I'm obsessing about now.

I don't want to move the money to where he can't touch it because I don't want to be accused of stealing it. I guess I'll have to talk to the lawyer.

My girlfriend kicked her cheating husband out. I told her she better move the money before he spends it all. He liked spending money. So she moved it into a seperate account. He was furious when he went to get money and couldn't. She didn't get in trouble for it. The bank said it was not problem.

 

[EthansMom]

My girlfriend kicked her cheating husband out. I told her she better move the money before he spends it all. He liked spending money. So she moved it into a seperate account. He was furious when he went to get money and couldn't. She didn't get in trouble for it. The bank said it was not problem.

I agree with this. Any money in both of your names is owned by both of you. DLM, your husband could go in to the bank and clean that account out. You might be able to get some of the money back in the divorce decree, but you're better off getting your money in your name now!

 

[bettyann29]

Just wanted to say heres a hug for you..

Ive been thru a similar experience.. only my husband walked out on me when I was 4 months pregnant with our youngest who is almost 8 yr old now.. He moved right in with a girl that was working under him.. You'll get thru this and be a better person for it..

Btw... she left him for another guy What comes around goes around..

 

[Disney Doll]

Just wanted to say heres a hug for you..

Ive been thru a similar experience.. only my husband walked out on me when I was 4 months pregnant with our youngest who is almost 8 yr old now.. He moved right in with a girl that was working under him.. You'll get thru this and be a better person for it..

Btw... she left him for another guy What comes around goes around..

Don't you just love it when karma comes back to bite people on the butt!!!!!

 

[S. C.]

I'm sure that that his parents will just be scared they might not have any contact with their grandchildren. Reasure them that you know it is best for children to have a good relationship with their grandparents.

Joint custody does not always mean that both parents split the childrens time 50/50. Some parents have joint legal/ joint physical custody with one of the parents having primary custody. And the other parent having a parenting time order with every other weekend, alternating holidays, & b-days. sometimes with every other week vacation time in summer etc, Whatever the parents can agree on. Or the court will set up a parenting time schedule.

Remember.... that it is best for the children if everyone can get along and be civil to each other.

As far as taking him to the cleaners and making him pay for and lose everything, these are also your children. Yes i do feel that college expenses, after school activities, doctors bills etc should be equaly split between both mom and dad, and child support should be paid. Like others have said i feel you should be entitled to half of all bank accounts and anything you two own that was purchased since you got married.

I agree that you need to know more about the girlfriends past if she is going to be spending time with the children.

 

[momof2inPA]

It sounds like you're doing the right things and keeping a good attitude, but if you found his fantasy football posts, he might find your posts here. You may want to consider keeping some information sharing to pm's until you work some things out, and you could always post some generic divorce questions under an assumed name. Best of luck and let us know what happens when it's ok to share.

 

[S. C.]

It sounds like you're doing the right things and keeping a good attitude, but if you found his fantasy football posts, he might find your posts here. You may want to consider keeping some information sharing to pm's until you work some things out, and you could always post some generic divorce questions under an assumed name. Best of luck and let us know what happens when it's ok to share.

ITA

 

[wendy1974]

It sounds as if he was just looking for a reason to get out. I don't know the past history of your relationship but from what you said it sounds like he has had a girlfriend for awhile and that you've known about it. Just curious, but did you think that you could get him back and make him stop seeing her. I think that he made a conscious decision at the point when he started seeing someone else, whether it be emotionally or physically that he was checking out of your relationship, he just used the car accident as a reason. From the way you said he treated your DD and the things he has said to you he sounds like a real looser with no conscious whatsoever. He sounds very selfish and you deserve someone who will put you and your children first. Sounds like you are already on the way to getting a good lawyer and making sure you are protected financially. Don't let him get away easy, he may not want to physically be there for his children (which is sad) but he had a part in bringing them into this world and it was his choice to walk out so he should have to pay dearly for that. Also, like previous posters I agree that you need to do something nice for yourself
Good luck and my prayers are with you!