DH agreed on another baby, now I'm scared to death! sorry long

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Sorry to jump in late, baby's been sick all week, here's my story...

We had Belle, a sweet, easy child from Day 1, and 21 months later, we had Buzz. He's been high maintenance from the word "go", multiple health and developmental issues. Getting him to school age was a MAJOR accomplishment, I could think about nothing else but getting him to where he had to be. We discussed other kids, wanted other kids, nothing happened...by the summer of '02, we realized that it wasn't going to happen. hadn't happened yet, we were getting older. Maybe God was telling us we had enough. And we did have 2 great kids, one of each, even--we certainly could have done worse. But we weren't going to get more, even if we wanted them. I mention that because it took us a while to realize that--it was a process.

Well, you know the punch line...Buzz started all-day kindergarten, and I took a pregnancy test the next day! Oh no, right back into things--I wasn't as young as I was, there's going to be a 6-year gap, how will Buzz, in particular, my "Mommy's boy" take to a new sibling...the usual doubts/concerns. But it's worked out really well--Buzz is as attentive and loving a big brother as any girl could have. Celeste, the baby, is a sweet, good natured kid (when she doesn't have diarrhea, don't get me started...). I call her my reward for not killing Buzz!

I will tell you that it DOES take a bit to get back into the diapers/high chair/late night thing. You won't believe how much has changed, just in 6 years! But it's been worth it, for us. And I have much more of an appreciation of how fast the "little" years go. Now we debate a fourth, but that's probably really, really pushing it!

Anyway, this is really a decision only for the two of you. i wish you luck in whatever you decide.

 

[snoopy]

I never have had mixed feelings about our decision to stop at two, but then again, I'm now 40 and the thought of having a baby in the house is not even a consideration for me. If I were younger when I had my two I might have considered it. I think if you have any doubts you should write a list of the pros and cons and then make a decision from there.

 

[DisKim]

KristiKelly - I'm right there with you. I have a DD8 and a DS4. We have been debating #3 for about a year. My DH has been the one who wants the 3rd. I've wanted it too, but I'm the one who brings up all the drawbacks. I finally decided that I would never regret having the third, but I might regret not having it. If my DH and I didn't both feel strongly about it and "incomplete", then I wouldn't consider it. That being said, we are going for the third. Life is easy with my two older children, but what fun is life if it is easy. I think another child will do nothing but enhance the lives of my other two. If I thought it would negatively impact them, I wouldn't do it. Your comment on college made me laugh. My DH was offered a job at a university which he didn't take. He would have gotten free tuition for the kids. I told him he may have to try to go back for that job just to put the kids through college! At least I've got them spaced so I won't have two in college at the same time. I'll just be paying for 12 years.

 

[Mskanga]

I have two children and they are four years apart. I can honestly say that the first thing I think now when I see people with babies is , I am glad I don't have to be dealing with all the baby stuff anymore. As much as I loved it when I did it, I love even more now that my children are more independent, that I do not have to take everything but the kitchen sink when we go somewhere. I love the fact that when we go to WDW, I can go empty handed and have a blast with them. No I do not hold anything for anyone, if you want something YOU hold it or don't get it.
It was very clear for us that we did not want anymore than two children , and we made sure of that.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I suppose it can be simply put to ask yourself, "Are you done?" If you say "I don't know" then you probably are not done.

For those of us that are we say.... YES, YES, YES!!!!!

Now would I like more kids, yes, but I am DONE! I will just step back and wait for grandkids.

 

[Dcat2u]

We are also considering #3, our girls are 13 & 10, so I would really be starting over-lol. We have always wanted 3 but it never happened Uncle Sam (army) always put a dent in the plans, then we divorced for a few years and now back together and trying to work around the army's schedule (hubby has yet to be present at births). Atleast if he doesn't make it this time I do have some at home help!

Darlene
Proud Wife of a 4ID Soldier!
WE GOT HIM!!!

 

[dizagain]

You are so normal! At least I hope so because your OP sounded exactly like me!! DD's are 8 and 10, and we've thought about this for two years now. Can't seem to stop re-filling those little pills, though. We were very blessed with our first two - got pregnant in two days with one and two weeks with the other- both exactly when we "planned". I did stop taking the pills about 6 months ago for one month and freaked out. SO, for us, I think we'll stick with our two, but if something should "happen", we'd be surprised but thrilled, I'm sure. Good luck to you...remember you never have enough time, house, or money...but you have plenty of love!

 

[MaryJ]

We went from no kids to 2 kids in one pregnancy--twins! When the twins were about 2, DH started talking about having another baby. I asked him "Are you crazy!" I was worn out after taking care of two 2 year olds all day. Then when they were 3, I was ready but DH said he kind of liked things the way they were. When they were 4 1/2 we both said "Let's have another baby," and I told DH we'd better do something quick before we both changed our minds! About one year later, DD #3 was born. I had had some complications during my first pregnancy, so I did consult my OB to make sure everything was OK first. Just last night I told my DH about a friend who couldn't have any more children because of medical reasons, and I said that if my doctor had said the same thing, our lives would certainly be different. Our "baby" will leave for college in 2 weeks, and we have never regreted our decision to have her. In fact, the 5 year age difference really helped to soften the blow when her sisters left for college. She was still here to give joy (and occasionally some strife) to our lives. But that's what makes life interesting.

The final decision is yours. Blessings to you and your DH whatever you decide.

 

[Minnie824]

Since DH & I were dating, we always said we'd have 2 or 3 kids. 3 would be if we had 2 boys or 2 girls first. Well, now we have 2 girls, and we're leaning towards stopping here. The little one is only 3 months now, so we still have another 2 years before we'd even think about it. Its still an option, but as of now, we're both saying we're done. Definitely a personal choice. Regarding something a PP said, my oldest is more difficult...especially since the baby. And she does carry 500 items everywhere we go, up and down the stairs constantly. The baby part this time is actually pretty easy. We'll see though. Good luck on your decision.

 

[4greatboys]

My 2 oldest were 12 and 10 and when ds #3 came along. When ds #4 came along the boys were 14, 12 and 2. I had a so much fun with a new baby. Yes it was extra work, going back to getting up at night, diapers, etc but it was wonderful. And now having teens and toddlers I enjoy the age spread. Each age has some wonderful (and some not so wonderful) qualities.
The way the ages of the boys are as #1 graduates, #3 will start school and the same for 2 & 4, lol.
Good luck whatever you decide!!

 

[momsully]

This has been a great thread to read. We have two DS 5 and 2.5. The oldest started kindergarten this week. I have never felt like we were done and have always wanted a third. My husband and I have talked about it over the past year but he was never ready. I have saved all the baby stuff over the years as I just could not get rid of it. Well just this weekend he agreed we could consider it and start trying. So hopefully sometime in the not to distant future we will be a family of 5.

 

[WilmaBud]

Wow, I guess I'm in the minority. I have a girl and a boy. I always thought I'd like to have 3 kids (I'm actually the 3rd of 3 in my family). But I had awful pregnancies (sick all 9 months), and I didn't bounce back the greatest after my 2nd childbirth. I was 33 when I had her, so I knew I had plenty of time to decide, so I just kept putting it off.

I could never have just "let fate decide" by not using birth control because my dh just had to look at me and I was pregnant - lol! I knew what fate's answer would have been, and the thought of another pregnancy terrified me. I'm 41 now, and it's completely out of the question (for us, anyway). My kids are 10 and 7, and life is so much easier.

So, I guess I just let time pass without deciding to do it, and finally so much time passed that the decision kind of made itself. I'll probably always wonder what life would have been like with 3 kids. I've always envied people who were so certain in their decisions, but that's just not my personality. I can say that I'm very content with our family, though. I have no regrets.