Devastated (long)

[mispatatas]

im a regular poster, hiding behind another name for privacy...

I recently had an experience that caused me to have an anxiety attack - thinking the experience had caused me to become infected with a certain disease.

I was reassured by several drs and specialists that i wasn't at any risk at all but i still couldn't believe this (I suffer from an anxiety disorder so I couldn't really rationalise.)

The anxiety attack brought me to the brink of despair, but with the help and support of family and friends, I eventually got back to normal and was able to realise that I hadn't encountered any risk.

TODAY - I had to see the nurse about something slightly related, and she made me tell her exactly what had happened. I gave her the shortened version, not wanted to dredge through it all again and concluded by telling me 'well, you might have been at some risk'.

I am devastated. I'm back at square one now, having finally got over one of the darkest periods of my life and moved on, I'm now back to feeling 'on the brink again'.

The nurse's comment was off-hand and misinformed, but if she'd read my notes, she would have known this was exactly what NOT to say to me, or even to make me talk about it.

I'm at a loss now, I can't believe I am back feeling like this after getting over it and being able to move on.

Do I have grounds to complain about her handling of this situation?

Can anyone offer any advice for me?

 

[Miss Jasmine]

If it's what I think it is...if it has been over three months, go get tested. You'll have your answer and you can go from there. It is better than not knowing and worrying about it.

 

[mispatatas]

No, it's been exactly a month today. Which is why I was so pleased to get over the worry. I KNOW I'm at no risk, but for someone with an axiety disorder it's not quite as simply as that.

I'm so frustrated, I had come through it 100% to the extent that I didn't even feel I needed to get tested.

But now this nurse and her 'offhand' comments have sent me straight back to square one.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

I would like to give you some advice, but I am confused...at risk? What did you tell her that made her make this assumption

 

[Tiggeroo]

I'm so sorry. Do you think the nurse is a poor employee. Will she hurt somebody else? If so I would report it. But if you realize you are over-sensitive in this area and that you are taking it too personally I wouldn't report her because your report may affect her employment.
I do understand. I've been having health issues which they haven't been able to find the cause. I looked my symptoms up on line and have been convinced ever since that I have something very serious. My drs are aware that I'm doing this and feel that alot of my problems are from my worrying. So whenever I go in for a visit they reassure me that it isn't something bad. They just haven't found the problem yet. Yesterday at the dr's she read out loud the results of my ct scan. She said look how thorough they were. If there was a tumour there they would have found it.
Hugs to you whichever you decide.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I know you don't want to give too many details, but there are really only limited things that truly put you at risk. I don't know how much detail we can get into on this board...you can PM me if you wish.

 

[mispatatas]

Well I said that the guy I came into contact with had been bleeding (stranger in the street who had been in a fight), although I'm 99.9% sure none of his blood touched me.

Her comments were 'well you might be at risk if you had cuts on your hands'

which I did, but mine were healing - the doctors had told me they were not a cause for concern, even if his blood had touched me.

She THEN went on to show me a cut on her own hand, demonstrating what she meant - which looked pretty similar to the cut I had.

When I said 'well my cuts were healing' she just shrugged.

I also had said that I didn't want to talk about it too much because it had caused me a lot of upset and she still proceeded to ask me questions

 

[irishbosoxfan]

No--Obviousely it was a situation in which you yourself believed that you were at some risk--After explaining the situation to the nurse she felt as if you may have been at some risk--I mean its not as if she said "ooh you nasty so and so" she said something candidly--As for going thru your entire record to be able to know you have an anxiety disorder and therefore to walk on eggshells when dealing with you is above the scope of her job--And I might add if this "experience" you had wasn't a major issue why then were you required to go back to the doctors for it?
Because you put yourself in a situation doesnt mean others have to handle you with kid gloves---She does however need to be honest with you and IMO she did that you just didnt like what she said---There's a saying that goes--You made your bed now lie in it.
Sorry for you and your situation but you have no basis to complain

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

ok..I think I am alittle clearer..

i think another nurse on the board would maybe be better informed about this, but I am assuming she was doing an H&P and wouldn't that maybe be why she was doing this assesment? I find that when you go to a hospital, they make you repeat your story several times, in order to make sure THEY have the correct information that was given THEM..not the last person you talked to

 

[momof2inPA]

Do some research on the internet and focus on the statistics rather than your anxiety. I'm sure your risk is minimal, but until you can be re-tested definitively, you will have some anxiety. I've had questionable mamograms and been stressed out until I got a definite answer. It's only natural, not the fault of some nurse.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Okay given that, I do not think you were put at risk. I know this sounds strange, but HIV is such is a fragile disease. The conditions have to be just right, and when blood is exposed to the air, the HIV breaks down so fast.

Get tested in two months and then put this all behind you.

 

[mispatatas]

I went straight to ER when this happened, with the guy who had been bleeding (I had lent him my phone to call a friend - hence I could contact him after - and he agreed to come with me and understood my concerns). They told me i was at no risk at all of what I was worried about, but would give me an Hep B shot while I was there.


The reason I went to the nurse today was to get the next round of the shot.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I posted my first reply in refence to your first post and didnt see your second--but a lot hasnt changed outside of the situation you were in---And yes there is cause for concern--If your doc told you otherwise get a new doc--Aids can be transmitted to you thru a HANGNAIL--so the nurse was correct in saying you were at some risk--get the test,to say you felt good enough about your stress level to not get it is ridiculous--you should have gotten the shot---that being said get the test and get the follow ups as well-make sure condoms are in play until last test comes back negative--

 

[Christine]

Well I said that the guy I came into contact with had been bleeding (stranger in the street who had been in a fight), although I'm 99.9% sure none of his blood touched me.

Her comments were 'well you might be at risk if you had cuts on your hands'

which I did, but mine were healing - the doctors had told me they were not a cause for concern, even if his blood had touched me.

She THEN went on to show me a cut on her own hand, demonstrating what she meant - which looked pretty similar to the cut I had.

When I said 'well my cuts were healing' she just shrugged.

I also had said that I didn't want to talk about it too much because it had caused me a lot of upset and she still proceeded to ask me questions

I understand your anxiety disorder. I have the exact same one. I have a *terrible* health anxiety and I know how things like this get out of control. While you say in your first post that "you got past this", you really haven't. Whatever techniques or reassurances you had before to make you forget this, well, they have not changed.

You say your are 99.9% sure that this man's blood did not touch you. So, right now you are worried about the very small 0.01% of a chance that some got on you and your cut. That risk did not change from 1 month ago. Nothing has changed and you have to keep telling yourself this. Honestly, as irrational as it probably sounds to most people on this board, I would probably be freaking out about that small chance too. That's just what one does when they have an anxiety disorder such as this.

I don't think you should report her because I don't think she was being out of line. Insensitive to your anxiety yes. But, part of trying to "cure" this disorder is to be able the "handle" the remarks that most people can handle.

My advice to you is to practice the cognitive behaviorial therapy techniques (or get to a CBT therapist if you have not done so) and also have an HIV test now and in the next few months. It is the only way to stop worrying.

You are not alone in these worries. I've have had to have several expensive medical procedures just to calm some of my fears. It makes me angry with myself for being this way.

 

[RitaZ.]

I think the nurse was doing her job, I don't see anything wrong with what she said. Since you are so concerned about the potential risk, just get tested and take it from there. Worrying about the "what ifs" will only fuel your anxiety. Good luck!

 

[mispatatas]

I'm staying well away from looking it up online - I found that fuelled my anxiety.

Nothing seemed to reassure me, even a doctor promising me i wasn't at any risk at all.

However, gradually with a lot of support I was able to rationalise my anxiety and really get on with my life. It was such an accomplishment having been so low.

I am just soooo mad that this nurse's comments have put me back to where I started. I just wish I'd never gone to see her in the first place.

 

[LukenDC]

It is relatively difficult to get a blood borne illness from casual contact. Unless the stranger's blood co-mingled with yours in an open wound your risk level is negligible. Many viruses, including HIV, die quickly once exposed to the open environment.

Are you in treatment for your anxiety disorder? You might want to get some counseling for it and to examine why this particular incident had such a profound emotional effect on you.

As for the nurse, she needs a lesson in bedside manners. Her ambivalent attitude and loose lips are a problem and she should not be discussing hypothetical risk factors with you. That's for your doctor to do and it sounds like he is already confident that you are fine.

 

[Magickndm]

Have you gotten tested? Or are you just going on all the pats on your back saying you're fine?
I'm sorry, but to me, knowledge is power, and if you're so worried, even if it is just in the back of your mind, why not get tested?

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

The nurse was giving you facts...you were at some risk...MINIMAL, but still some..this isn't poor behavior on her part...she got your H&P from you..she didn't need to read further into your chart to see that you were suppose to be handled with care...

I am sorry that you are taking this very hard..I know that I jabbed myself with a patients needle once and I was in horror (the patient was an infertility patient and had already had all her blood panels and HIV test done) but I still couldn't help but worry.
Just relax..you are fine!

 

[mispatatas]

LUKENDC, thanks for your kind words.

I am on a waiting list for treatment but was doing so well I no longer felt I even needed it.

The guy who was bleeding kindly had a blood test when it happened which showed up negative.

However, today the nurse told me 'well that doesn't mean he didn't have it, he may have been in the window period'....

she just seemed very insensitive and has down my condition so much harm it's unbelievable.