desperate help needed-suggestions appreciated

[Glenn]

Lots suggest selling the house but think long first. Do you save anything on your taxes by having a house or mortgage? (us can right off interest). If so talk to a tax person first. Hate to have small savings by paying rent eaten up by higher taxes.
Compare when you shop not only at the grocery but on gas as well. Seems like yous husband comutes alot. Keep an eye open for price diffeences. Around here I can see 10 to 20 cents a gallon difference between areas for the same gas chain. Not lots of savings but money is money.
Hows the weather where you are? Ever consider a little gardening? Some things are easy to grow, cheap to do and dont take lots of work. And home grown ususally taste better than store bought.
And get the kids involved, just little things like turning lights off help.
Last thing, once you have a few bills lowered talk to you bank about refinancing for a lower rate, $1600 for a mortgage seems high. All they can do is say no.
Good luck, just remember this will take time.

 

[Bonnie151]

The elderly in Britain are left to die, "You're 80, you don't need a new *whatever*"

That has got to be the craziest thing I have ever read on the DIS.

OP, I'm on the side of selling your house. With the amount of debt you have, If you have equity in your house I'd sell. Pay off some of the debt and find somewhere smaller or in a less expensive area. I know here it's often cheaper to buy than rent and if I were in a similar situation I'd downsize and buy a smaller house. I know you want to protect your kids from this as much as possible, but I'd go for for the larger pain over the short term rather than chipping away at the debt over a much longer period.

 

[cheer25mom]

Hmmm ~ my ex also worked in a nursing home *and often spoke of mercy *morphine* killings that went on

His grandmother had a low quality of life.

I fully believe it.

It goes on in the neonatal ward are well. Feeding tubes and support removed and babies left to linger becuase they have low chances of survival. More and more retired UK doctors are coming out and saying that this stuff happens, and more than anyone would like to admit. Of course the powers that be are quick to attempt to dicredit any attempt at telling the truth about what goes on. Most of the time it happens those who do not have anyone to advocte for them, so no one who is actively involved in the care of thier loved one would see it. No one will miss that old lady with no family, or that teen mom won't really question it if we tell her the preemie she delivered just didn't make it. It is real, it happens, and it gets swept under the rug pretty quickly.

 

[hsmamato2]

OT alert! too many are veering completely OFF TOPIC for this thread....remember it's about OP's original question, not a healthcare debate....
FWIW, keeping a home you can't afford b/c of some small tax breaks does not make fiscal sense....just sayin'...
Can't remember the details in OP but I think mtg+taxes+ins. for home was at least 2k total(?) couponing for groceries isn't going to salvage this situation,and I agree with a pp who said it's better to rein in the spending for your kids while you still have some options and control, before your creditors come along and take all of your options,and 'choices' away from you ....

 

[pigletto]

This woman isn't making excuses when she says renting where she is would solve nothing. I mentioned two cities and she is one of them. In each of those cities a tiny one bedroom apartment is going to run you a thousand or more. 3 bedrooms? Forget it. It would be worse than the situation she's in to save very little if anything.
Now I can totally get on board with suggesting she look into moving further outside the city. Relocation is an option as is downsizing. Heck we live an hour and half from where dh is currently working but to move even a half hour closer our house DOUBLES in price. New condos are starting at $250,000 and this isn't even in the city the OP is in. It's still 45 minutes outside of the major metropolitan area. For us at this time, the 3 hours of commuting a day is worth it.

And that's Toronto. If OP is in Vancouver it is on the "Top Ten Most Expensive Cities to live in in the WORLD" list. Current Median Home price in Vancouver is $400,000.

OP, I can only strongly suggest relocation if you can. You'll make less but spend that much less for everything from transportation to sports to groceries. In the end I think its your best option.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Lots suggest selling the house but think long first. Do you save anything on your taxes by having a house or mortgage? (us can right off interest). If so talk to a tax person first. Hate to have small savings by paying rent eaten up by higher taxes.

No, in Canada we do not get to write off mortgage interest. So renting will not affect taxes in that way.

TP

 

[Marionnette]

This woman isn't making excuses when she says renting where she is would solve nothing. I mentioned two cities and she is one of them. In each of those cities a tiny one bedroom apartment is going to run you a thousand or more. 3 bedrooms? Forget it. It would be worse than the situation she's in to save very little if anything.
Now I can totally get on board with suggesting she look into moving further outside the city. Relocation is an option as is downsizing. Heck we live an hour and half from where dh is currently working but to move even a half hour closer our house DOUBLES in price. New condos are starting at $250,000 and this isn't even in the city the OP is in. It's still 45 minutes outside of the major metropolitan area. For us at this time, the 3 hours of commuting a day is worth it.

And that's Toronto. If OP is in Vancouver it is on the "Top Ten Most Expensive Cities to live in in the WORLD" list. Current Median Home price in Vancouver is $400,000.

OP, I can only strongly suggest relocation if you can. You'll make less but spend that much less for everything from transportation to sports to groceries. In the end I think its your best option.

I agree that she needs to relocate. She cannot afford the lifestyle that she is living. Her mortgage, insurance and taxes on the house come close to 40% of their take-home pay. That doesn't even include maintenance on the house for things as simple as cutting the lawn or replacing a broken water heater.

She also needs $2500 each month to pay the minimums on her credit lines. That's almost half of what they make! Combine the cost of keeping the house with the burden of her debt and you can see why she can't keep the house and still have any hope of digging her way out. Almost 90% of their money will go toward just those two things.

The math doesn't add up for her to keep the house and pay down her debt. She could cut back everywhere else and she would still not be able to afford the minimum payments and the cost of the house.

 

[TLuvsD]

Most of this debt is business related. How did you set up that business? Are there any partners who are responsible for part of that debt?

Start at the Consumer Credit Counseling, they can help with the debt restructuring...and help make fact based decisions (not emotion based). I think a lot of the tips and information previously given could make a big difference.

 

[tohardtolose]

Thanks again everyone.

I want to clarify something.
Mamawho thinks I do not work. I work close to 40 hours every week. My husband works 50. I only brought up illness as that is part of the punch that made me go oh my goodness, we really have to get our finances under control. There is a very good chance I will not be able to work full time in the future and I need to do what I can now, to prepare for that.

I am not making excuses. I said that off the top. I also said right off the top I did not want to consider bankruptcy. I know there is a lot to read and some people don't see the whole picture and I have not disclosed the whole picture to protect some privacy As I mentioned, there is a very strong reason we can not rent in an apt (could consider a house but might as well pay into my own mess than almost pay the same to someone else to dump in the garbage---all expenses would still be there minue the land taxes but to rent they people want to be making some money so we would be paying minimum of 1500+ minimum to rent a home here plus all utilities still. I'd rather try to figure out how to manage the extra 375 a month for the land taxes and at least try to own something now but I can't give that reason away without giving a strong clue as to the people we may be if anyone was reading this. I am willing to move though to downsize, etc. We are going to be look into this option and all it entails and if it is worth it.

I am trying to find a way out. I TRULY appreciate all those who have come up with some awesome suggestions. I have got some great ideas here. I can't incorporate all over night but many will be incorporated over next 2 months. I plan to come back on here and highlight how we are doing. Husband has been picking few extra things up for work and this is not something we have done in the past because too busy running kids to sports, etc but we are going to make a point of figuring this out. He can potentially bring in easily another 300 a month and I can at this point make at least another 100. Will we be even more tired, yes, but we are putting a plan together to find a time and place where we can reach to, where we can say, we did it and be comfortable, and secure.

Also, to the person who thinks we are not paying bills, I did mention that I have never had a call from creditor. I may have missed the odd phone, or cable bill but I am not behind on any payments. BUT we do this by using a vicious cycle and not seeing anything come down. Instead, what we need to do is not take and start paying down. I hope to report in 6 months that this is where we are at. Total start debt and here is where we are at in 3 months, then 6, etc and maybe by selling our house we will have an instant 50,000 taken off but I don't know yet what real estate will say.

Oh and sorry that the topic started about health care..........that is a whole other debate And one that can get people very heated. Did not intend that

 

[LuLuO]

Do you live in a major city? If you do I suggest putting an ad on Craigslist for English conversation classes. I charge $35 an hour for someone to come over and just chat. It's easy simple money . Three hours a week would definitely help!

I want to know more about this. Could you PM me how you got into this and what credentials are necessary?

 

[Mama Who]

Thanks again everyone.

I want to clarify something.
Mamawho thinks I do not work.

That is not a truthful statement. I read that you work- but also that you will not work *more* "because of the kids." I did not say "you don't work" I said you don't want to work *more*. Please do not put words in my mouth. If you won't cut sports or live more simply, I think you need to look at a second job. Working 50-60 hours a week NOW would help you prepare for when you cannot work as much. If you got your debts paid off, when your health becomes a bigger issue you would be in a better position to cut your hours.

 

[roscoepc1]

Ok, I'm in Canada too, so I "get" the taxes etc. Where do you live? In a city?

Honestly? My first reaction is to put the kids into cheaper sports/activities etc, and sell your house.

Imho, you need to slash your mortgage, or as pp suggested, go into a rental (although I know darn well they are often more expensive than mortgages in Canada, so that may not be a good idea.) Your kids do NOT all need their own rooms, generations upon generations have proved that. You don't need a formal diningroom or livingroom (If you have those). A decent yard, or local parks etc make up for a small house. You may need to move further from your neighbourhood, and commute more. I realize that ups your gas costs etc, but if you crunch the numbers etc, it might very well be worth it.


Your kids don't need to be in top tier sports...that's vanity, regardless of skill. Find church leagues, YMCA sports etc that are affordable. OR sit them down, explain the situation, and pull them entirely out of sports. Kids aren't stupid, they get it. AND I find 99% of the time (unless they're spoiled brats, in which case, you have another battle on your hands right there), if you are honest with them abt money, they understand and don't WANT you to spend that money on them!Grocery-wise, there's not much you can do....since our retail system is so different from the States, you can't start extreme couponing or anything.

First step though? Go talk to someone at a bank, or financial instution. Even if you don't declare bankruptcy, you can get them working for you, and set up payments etc with your creditors which are more manageable. Ask around your area for a good reputable bankruptcy firm. The name of the one we used years ago is escaping me, but the stress you will get rid of just by sitting down and talking about your options is amazing!

HTH! Hugs!!

 

[blondietink]

Did not read all 8 pages but agree with others ...sell the house, get rid of kids sports, get rid of cable Tv and cell phones. Car payment is excessive and should be one nice ride. Sell the car and buy a used one. Yard sales. If there are farmers around sometimes you can get deals on milk, eggs, meat, produce, etc. Plant a garden. Barter for goods and services. Try a settlement plan with creditors.

Good luck!

 

[clarkshel]

If your area is anything like my city, it won't make any sense to sell your house, as numerous people had posted here. You mentioned that the rent is higher than your mortgage. No use paying someone else's mortgage. At least with each mortgage payment you are making, you are gaining a little bit of equity.

I hope it works out for you and I can't wait for your update. Good luck.

 

[tinker&belle]

I think everyone has hit on the 3 problem areas. You might be able to afford one of them (house,car, sports.) To make it work I would choose one to keep ( probably the house from what you shared.) Get the kids in the Y or church league for sports and get a much cheaper car. Unless that's tons of old car payments rolled in I am guessing it is something like an Escalade or luxury car like a BMW or a Lexus. If you get something more affordable( like an old Toyota or Honda....buy one with lots of miles for cheap and many last about 250k miles.)

 

[tohardtolose]

We should have went cheaper with the car but over 4 years ago we were no where near this bad of shape. Car is not high end. it is a middle of the road model. Bought for all taxes in brand new for just over 33,000. Yes that will sound like a lot of money for US people probably but this is not high end car in Canada. Middle of the road. Should have bought used though but we did not foresee that we were going to be where we are now....and it was just another mistake in our line of mistakes.
Just Remember prices quoted there have nothing added, no taxes (of which we pay 13%) and no delivery fees which is usually around 1500. I think if we bought a cadillac escadlade here I would imagine it would be over 60,000+. Lexus and bmw very similar if not more I bet.
Just another mistake but we do not have a high end car Middle of the road. I am sure the other CDNS can attest cars are also much cheaper in US.

 

[clarkshel]

We should have went cheaper with the car but over 4 years ago we were no where near this bad of shape. Car is not high end. it is a middle of the road model. Bought for all taxes in brand new for just over 33,000. Yes that will sound like a lot of money for US people probably but this is not high end car in Canada. Middle of the road. Should have bought used though but we did not foresee that we were going to be where we are now....and it was just another mistake in our line of mistakes.
Just Remember prices quoted there have nothing added, no taxes (of which we pay 13%) and no delivery fees which is usually around 1500. I think if we bought a cadillac escadlade here I would imagine it would be over 60,000+. Lexus and bmw very similar if not more I bet.
Just another mistake but we do not have a high end car Middle of the road. I am sure the other CDNS can attest cars are also much cheaper in US.

A lot cheaper in the US. When we bought our Odyssey van a few years ago, if I would have imported it from the US, I would have saved about $8000.

 

[Freesia123]

I wouldn't cut the sports but I'd make my kids work to pay. They can babysit, mow lawns etc. (lawn mowing pays about $20 a lawn so they'd each only have to do three a week, no biggie) get them to pass a flyer and reserve Saturday mornings for work!

 

[bleubell]

Has anyone mentioned debt consolidation? There are organizations that will consolidate all of your credit card debt, lower the interest rates and you pay one monthly bill which they divvy out to your credit card companies. They charge a small fee but it is a good alternative to bankruptcy.

Also, can you refinance your house to save $ on your monthly payments?

 

[Marionnette]

I thought that this might help the OP to establish a workable budget. It can be a great help when you don't know how much you can afford to spend on specific budget items and what some of those planned expenses should be. I gave a copy to my daughter before she moved into her own place and she said that it really helped her decide what she could afford to spend on an apartment and on her car.

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