A big hug to you from KY.
This is a long thread so I don't know if someone mentioned this. I could only read all the way through pages 1,2 and 7.
I would take a look at the grocery side of the house. it's not a huge amount of money to save, but if you have convenience foods that you buy, perhaps you can find a way to make them from scratch and then freeze them. With you both working and the kids' activities, I know you don't have as much time on your hands as I potentially have as a SAHM. I think it is admirable that you don't have restaurant meals when most folks run through a McDonald's on the way to soccer practice.
I make cold cut sandwiches with french bread loaves, cut them and then wrap them into individual servings. If you don't put mayo or veggies on them, you can even put them in the freezer. We have even taken these as our contribution to snack on game day. Every parent thinks I spent a lot, but the loaf was day old and the lunch meat was the least expensive I could get.
The crockpot. Oven baked chicken nuggets. I make a 20# turkey at least once a month for our family of 6. Then that turkey becomes 4+ meals. It costs me $25 for it. I do tend to make larger cuts of meat either in the oven or in the crockpot and then break them down to multiple meals. Beans and rice. I did a search for it during lent and one website had cuban, cajun, mexican...all the basics, but each with different seasonings. Most of these meals can be reheated rather quickly.
I disagree about making kids get jobs for their activities in general. If a child is the one pushing for more and more, then they need to offset the cost. DD15 just started babysitting, but the job is across town. Our van is very efficient on fuel, but she is expected to put in $5 towards the round trip each time. As this is an every weekend job and often both days, it teaches her the cost. And usually her brothers are driving her.
We don't give an allowance to our kids, but they are expected to do their chores. We expect good grades (give your best to everything and you will succeed), communication and that's why they didn't get jobs. but they do know we have a maximum budget for certain types of activities and once they hit that, it's over...Whether you take them out of all sports or just a couple of activities, they will have to know how much it costs. Sometimes just showing them the fees chart, uniform and all that, they choose to give up something that is not really giving them all the enjoyment it used to.
No matter what happens, giving up cable, cutting a phone line, buying a different brand of cheese...your children do need to know that things are going to change.
I don't know what grocery stores you have in your area. We visited Victoria in 2004 (different ratio on the us/can $ then; eh) and only saw boutiques and whatnot. If there is a discount grocery, maybe check them out. but be warned, sometimes it's not a great deal. I used to think, oh, it was only a dollar...until I found out the bigger store had a better quality item for 89¢.
Check out the DeStash and Debt Dumpers threads for ideas that will work for you and definitely get a professional who can tell you the leagalities and pros/cons of all your options.
You made the first step! You admitted the problem publically.
